For those that didn't read first post, here's a summary thus far and an update.
Some general info if you didn't start from the top: My company procured about 12 grams of this compound some months back so I've experimented with pretty much all dosages and know a lot about the compound.
I've been on pretty potent b3nz0s for a couple years now, coupled with drinking at least 5 times per week (probably average 5-6, sometimes 12 drinks plus whatever benzo lmao such a reckless idiot. Addiction is a mindfuck).
Anyways, currently I'm on 27.5 mg of br0m0n0r. Unfortunately taking cl0br0 or phenazolam for some months RUINED my tolerance. That and other potent b3nz0s hit a lot more of the channels within g@b@, making rebound and withdrawals harsher.
So my initial loading do$e was high, it had to be. I was reading roughly 2 mags, sometimes probably more, of cl0br0 per day (I know, not smart) and drinking on top after work. I've had my struggles before and this time the excuse was my company promoted me, moved to a new town, decent raise/promotion, but knew no one. So that lead to me being in my head and playing doctor. I tend to do that.
I believe at around 60-65, maybe 70 mags of the br0m0n0r I felt complete.relief and was able to get around 7 hours per sleep uninterrupted. I was pretty disappointed the dose was that high to start the taper because of the supposed 6mg bromonor is equivalent to roughly 10 mg V@l1im, so if that was true, my tolerance was around 100 mg V@l1um and I did not believe that. But I figured it's also the cl0br0 rebound that's making the transition harder, which made sense as it destroys g@b@ A and might touch receptor B)
Anyways, my first main goal is to have the br0m0 be the only thing that I'm putting in my body, besides weed and blood pressure meds at night. I did take baby do$e$ of cl0br0 the first 3 days to help some of that rebound and it worked (day 1 was 200 microgr@ms, day 2 150 micr0gr@ms, and day 3 70 microgr@m$).
Once I was stable at around 60 pages, I was able to reduce quickly. Assuming now the potency is around equivalent to v@l1um and the similarly long half life, I knew from experience I could titrate down from that big dose of 60 pages pretty quickly at first. I went 60 pages to 50. No problems. Ser0quel did help sleep, and I take cyclonb3nz@prine only a couple times per week or it loses it's effectiveness.
I went from 50 to 45 in about another week (7-9 days), then went to 40 pages. Now this is pretty quick with a long half life compound , because it takes several half life's for it to leave your body, therefore the withdrawal really won't kick in till late day 2 and definitely day 3.
I was still doing well on 40 pages, no alcohol, no other RCs, and just the weed and occasionally helper meds for my blood pressure,.etc.
Managed to drop from 40 pages to 35 with zero issues. I eventually got down to 30 pages, and I believe that was my lowest until the holidays came and I took a little more than usual. *sad face*.
I was visiting my family and cleaning up my old room as I was briefly staying there for about a month. This was around a year ago while waiting for my job down south to officially open up.
Anyways, as stated at the beginning, I was using irresponsible doses of really any benzo (cl0br0 and av1z mostly) so my memory wasn't the greatest recalling the previous months at the time. (This has since cleared up by being on a lower dose of a friendlier compound like br0m0n0r). Regardless, I found about a gr@m of 1c3. As convicted as I was to stay on this taper path and not waver, I didn't call anyone, I didn't do anything except put that m3th up my nose. Not even my DOC, big 0p1@t3 guy but the sublocade shot worked wonders for that. But, I'm definitely a poly-add1ct, it's like I go on autopilot. I also could probably use some work on self control and discipline, but I do practice those in other areas of my life. It's just addiction and/or dependence is a mind fuck, and beats me to the ground every time. So I pock up a little more of that scante..Anyways, I digress.
This obviously caused me to raise my dose as I love the first few minutes of speed, but then I'm just a racy mess afterwards. So my incapacitated brain started making decisions. It likes to do that when under the influence. I came to the conclusion that even though I had gr@m$ of br0m0n0r, it's not strong enough to balance out the upper. So I made the decision (unfortunately, I really wish I didn't) to do the upper for a couple days but make sure I eat and sleep. Anyways, 1 day turns to 2, 2 to 3. So I ended up using 1c3 for about 3 days and dosed cl0br0 mainly to balance it out and for sleep, and a little br0m0nor because it kicks in faster. So I was taking probably 1.5-2 pages of cl0br0 and at least 24 pages of br0m0nor each day during that 3 day span. Probably more to honest. Shame me if you want to, but this is what can happen if you let your relationships with chemicals become unhealthy.
As you can expect, lots of rebound anxiety and restlessness is occurring for a few days, and now I was freaking out because I messed my taper up and screwed my tolerance. I keep doing this to myself. I have a therapist, but I need a community of people that want to become better humans, because I do. So we're working on that but back to the taper.
Once again used 100 micrograms of cl0br0 for maybe 3-4 days and 50 pages of br0m0nor total, because after a few days of not sleeping, I needed it. But, I didn't want to go back up to 60 pages, thats also a lot of PG to take. I did feel shitty for a few days (because my brain was super pissed at me).
So by new years day, I was pretty much stable. I had some slight anxiety, but that was mostly me beating myself up for the decisions I made. I had a lot of lethargy, but I put my body and brain through a lot so I took a day and killed a Netflix show.
Current update: I'm down to 27.5-30 pages now, back at work post holidays thank God (keeps me busy for 8 hours and it's a couple weeks into January. Since it was only a few days that I relapsed and completely tore up my g@b@ receptors, I'm fortunate I'm pretty comfortable at 27.5 pages. It's not perfect. I sleep 5-6 hours, I deal with anxiety, lower back pain, higher blood pressure, and it's all due to this shit. I've said I'm done before but I'm just gonna try to do the walk, and then eventually I can talk. But this is just kind of a space for me to share my experience..we're all different.
Im staying at 27.5 pages for another week or so then down to 25. I made sure I have stock. Plus my doctor agrees once I'm around the equivalent of 20 pages of v@l1um, they'll prescribe it and that helps a lot. Knowing someone's on your team, and there's a finite number of pills, it's a good feeling, trust me.
For the last 6-9 months I've been trying to get off this class of compounds, and all ch3ms really. I'm 34 and been in and out of the RC game since 2013, and street years before that. It's time to permanently make that lifestyle switch, and it's going to require a ton of patience and probably most definitely some uncomfortabilty.
When I start experiencing stress or I feel I haven't taken enough and I can't calm down, that's my brain trying to get back to homeostasis. That's progress. Now obviously if I started shaking or feeling insects I will up my pages so there's no risk of seizure. But that's not the plan. We're either staying put or titrating down.
So yeah, it'll be a real milestone hitting that 25 page mark knowing I started around 60-70, sometimes 80 chasing an effect that wasn't there.
Love you all! Sorry if this a mess. I typed it on my phone. Nothing to do here at work.
