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  1. Jools

    Losing a Friend

    I thought this would be pertinent here A PRAYER  Keep me free from evil thoughts. Keep me free from the blackness of despair. At the time of my misery shine a light into the darkness that enshrouds me.   Let my every thought be good and clean. Let my every action be for the good of others...
  2. Jools

    Private GP Prescriptions - UK

    @ElectroNymph  I did what any decent human being would do. I don't think anyone can truly understand what power social services have until they have to deal with them. They can do more damage and cause more problems than many can ever believe.  I will NEVER forget what they did and how they and...
  3. Jools

    Private GP Prescriptions - UK

    Thanks. I too had been either thrown out or left over 5 or more or more doctors practices. It was only when this current GP took an interest that we started to get some positive help. I did habe to go to the local drug project and other stuff but it at least got me on enough meds to beg me...
  4. Jools

    Private GP Prescriptions - UK

    I am the guy the @PTFC talks of. My GP does me a PP for alpraz/xan. It used to be only 0 5mg and X 30 every 3-4 months but since my last diagnosis he is much freer with the prescribing and has allowed me 1mg. I got 60 last time ( 3 weeks ago Upjohn) and it cost me £18.70p. That goes to show how...
  5. Jools

    Bi polar

    That sounds extremely like what I habe just ended from. The multi layers of fake Facebook profiles, the internet dating sites and so much more. NONE of ismdeserbes this, EVER  she just came to pick up her stuff and tried to get us together by rationalising what she did. This time I was prepared...
  6. Jools

    Bi polar

    I just wanted to add that I am very grateful in particular to @trinity for starting this thread. @DippityDoo for adding some very relevant points that needed addressing immediately and to @PTFC for going above and behind to make sure I was ok.  This forum is so much more than I think it set out...
  7. Jools

    Bi polar

    Very similar experience here but she feigns incapacity to work yet is out most night earning and earning well from her photography business. I can't get my head around the fact that, for her, getting benefits is the most important thing of all & it's like she really doesn't count the money...
  8. Jools

    Bi polar

    My own experience of true happiness has been when I have either helped someone to do or achieve something they thought they couldn't or when I have done something totally unsolicited and for a friend in need or the homeless guy in the street. Happiness, for me anyway, has always been a byproduct...
  9. Jools

    Bi polar

    It doesn't feel like it right now but that's natural because even if the habit is destructive it's still an habit. I now need to lick my wounds and move on 
  10. Jools

    Bi polar

    @trinity  thank you very much. I fully admit that what you say is 100% correct. I find it close to impossible to give off anything else and because I spend an inordinate amount of time in hospitals and with my GP. Each time I feel I've moved forward then something physical has manifested itself...
  11. Jools

    Bi polar

    @trinity  I can surely relate to that though I am not able to say I've evolved to any stable level as such. Unfortunately I can still get dragged down to the gutter and am sometimes reactive. I am however working on this &  those who knew me 20 years ago would not recognise the me I've...
  12. Jools

    Bi polar

    @DippityDoo. I will message you. 
  13. Jools

    Bi polar

    Well said @PTFC. I have only truly alone when my brothers and parents died. That was the worst and darkest time of my life, so far. As human beings we ALL face certain and in common things. Loss, fear, existential loneliness and we often walk a path that is neither here nor there  The best...
  14. Jools

    Bi polar

    I am in that kind of relationship right now. When we met she was literally at least half the person she was, was motivated and has an incredibly keen intellect and high IQ. New relationships always seem to habe that honeymoon period but then, around 9 months later, I noticed small things like...
  15. Jools

    ppe2u

    What is it with so many using pre GABA now ? I see people can't get enough of them and my GP even said it was the next drug of abuse. I have had the GABA pent but not pregabs and I am interested to know what they do that is so nice ? The GABA pent made me put on 20kg in weight, I found it hard...
  16. Jools

    Has anyone tried Fent spray or pops?

    @rocketman. You are most welcome. I've been in hospital and been pumped full of both morphome and fentanyl and I came home to a fairly large amount of various other good stuff but it's the etaxolam that has been the shocker. Also really enjoying the clonazepam as I'd ne we tried that before...
  17. Jools

    Has anyone tried Fent spray or pops?

    This is much more informative and I will paste it in. Basically it gives the start doe and also does for those not using opioids before.  http://www.healthcare.uiowa.edu/familymedicine/fpinfo/Docs/adultopioidrefguide.htm
  18. Jools

    Has anyone tried Fent spray or pops?

    Hi @rocketman i habe found difficulty in finding equivalency but 400 of fent is equal to, get this, 960 PC morphine. I will look into this firthermfor you 
  19. Jools

    Post your favorite pet pic?

    I maybe be mixing my breeds up. A bengal in U.K. Is not a big cat per se and are mainly brown here with lovely rosette markings. There are new Asian leopard cats and new Asian bengal cats and I wonder if these are being mixed up in my head. A UK show class bengal would cost around £450-600...
  20. Jools

    Post your favorite pet pic?

    The Norwegian and the Maine coon are the two largest domesticated cats. 14kg is fine and he is still not fully grown. He has been checked for HCM and is free of it so is a big healthy boy. I would not be without one or a few Maine coons in my life as they are natural comedians and will always...
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