Celexa VS. Lexapro

[Kurt Codean]

Hey, I was wondering if anyone over here has any knowledge about these medications. I'm currently taking 40mgs of Celexa a night (actually the generic version which is called Citalopram). To be honest I don't know if this stuff is really working for me. I don't feel a huge difference from when I first stated taking it almost 3 months ago. I heard from somebody that Lexapro is similar to Celexa except it's more potent. I'm not sure what the conversion is like but I heard maybe 40mgs of Celexa is equal to 10mgs of Lexapro. Anyway I bring this up because I was wondering if I should ask my doctor to switch me to Lexapro net time I see him. I was just wondering if anybody knows about the differences between these medications, or knows of a better acting anti depressant medication? Thanks a lot!

 

[Leigh Anne]

Hey, I was wondering if anyone over here has any knowledge about these medications. I'm currently taking 40mgs of Celexa a night (actually the generic version which is called Citalopram). To be honest I don't know if this stuff is really working for me. I don't feel a huge difference from when I first stated taking it almost 3 months ago. I heard from somebody that Lexapro is similar to Celexa except it's more potent. I'm not sure what the conversion is like but I heard maybe 40mgs of Celexa is equal to 10mgs of Lexapro. Anyway I bring this up because I was wondering if I should ask my doctor to switch me to Lexapro net time I see him. I was just wondering if anybody knows about the differences between these medications, or knows of a better acting anti depressant medication? Thanks a lot!

I have been on just about every anti-depressant that have been made, including both Celexa and Lexapro.  Really didn't get much benefit from either med.  I see a psychiatrist, and we tinker with my meds, and I am now on a kind of soup that includes: X@nax, Bu$par, We!!butrin, Doxep!ne, Amb!en CR, and best of all--Addera!!.  Just started the Addys about 6 months ago, and they have helped me tremendously.  I have been able to get off my Resper!dol, and I am actually getting things accomplished around the house.  Home is clean, beds get made every day, no dishes in the sink, every drawer and cabinet has been cleaned and arranged just so--you get the picture.  Now, I have seen this doctor for about 6 years, so he was comfortable prescribing the Addys for me, but if you don't have a close relationship with your doctor, he/she may not want to prescribe a highly scheduled medicine like that.  I even had shock treatments last year that did nothing for my depression, only made my memory and concentration ability worse.  I see him again in a couple of weeks and he is probably going to add Phenterm!ne (which is a diet pill), but I have taken it in the past and it always gave me a boost of energy and a feeling of self-worth.  He says he has prescribed it before for off label usage as an anti-depressant.  I think that will do the trick--I need the appetite suppression, too.  The Addys are supposed to kill your appetite, but they make me hungry and want to snack.  My regular MD won't prescribe them because I am not really overweight, but I have put on a couple of pounds that I would like to get off.  So it has taken years of experimentation to get a cocktail of drugs that work for me.  Don't lose patience, don't disregard what your body/mind is telling you about the meds, and remember that it takes a good month sometimes for the anti-depressants to even start to work correctly.  Patients are always at higher risk of suicide 2 to 4 weeks after starting a new anti-depressant, because they finally have enough energy to carry out the plans they've had in mind....Don't let your family doctor manage your meds if you can help it--you really need to see a specialist, in this case a psychiatrist--they have so much more knowledge of the appropriate meds for your particular symptoms.  It is good that you have sought help for your depression--it still has such a stigma attached to it.  I have the trifecta of depression, severe anxiety, and sleep disorder, but things are looking better for me right now.  Best of luck to you, and I hope you find a med or a combination of meds that will help you--I know all too well the suffering that comes from being depressed and anxious, and with modern medicine, it is unnecessary.  It's just going to take some time and experimentation.  Best, Leigh Anne

 

[Guest]

This is a great topic.  Interested in all info recd.

 

[Kurt Codean]

This is a great topic.  Interested in all info recd.

Thanks Cat I appreciate the compliment. 

Hey, I was wondering if anyone over here has any knowledge about these medications. I'm currently taking 40mgs of Celexa a night (actually the generic version which is called Citalopram). To be honest I don't know if this stuff is really working for me. I don't feel a huge difference from when I first stated taking it almost 3 months ago. I heard from somebody that Lexapro is similar to Celexa except it's more potent. I'm not sure what the conversion is like but I heard maybe 40mgs of Celexa is equal to 10mgs of Lexapro. Anyway I bring this up because I was wondering if I should ask my doctor to switch me to Lexapro net time I see him. I was just wondering if anybody knows about the differences between these medications, or knows of a better acting anti depressant medication? Thanks a lot!

I have been on just about every anti-depressant that have been made, including both Celexa and Lexapro.  Really didn't get much benefit from either med.  I see a psychiatrist, and we tinker with my meds, and I am now on a kind of soup that includes: X@nax, Bu$par, We!!butrin, Doxep!ne, Amb!en CR, and best of all--Addera!!.  Just started the Addys about 6 months ago, and they have helped me tremendously.  I have been able to get off my Resper!dol, and I am actually getting things accomplished around the house.  Home is clean, beds get made every day, no dishes in the sink, every drawer and cabinet has been cleaned and arranged just so--you get the picture.  Now, I have seen this doctor for about 6 years, so he was comfortable prescribing the Addys for me, but if you don't have a close relationship with your doctor, he/she may not want to prescribe a highly scheduled medicine like that.  I even had shock treatments last year that did nothing for my depression, only made my memory and concentration ability worse.  I see him again in a couple of weeks and he is probably going to add Phenterm!ne (which is a diet pill), but I have taken it in the past and it always gave me a boost of energy and a feeling of self-worth.  He says he has prescribed it before for off label usage as an anti-depressant.  I think that will do the trick--I need the appetite suppression, too.  The Addys are supposed to kill your appetite, but they make me hungry and want to snack.  My regular MD won't prescribe them because I am not really overweight, but I have put on a couple of pounds that I would like to get off.  So it has taken years of experimentation to get a cocktail of drugs that work for me.  Don't lose patience, don't disregard what your body/mind is telling you about the meds, and remember that it takes a good month sometimes for the anti-depressants to even start to work correctly.  Patients are always at higher risk of suicide 2 to 4 weeks after starting a new anti-depressant, because they finally have enough energy to carry out the plans they've had in mind....Don't let your family doctor manage your meds if you can help it--you really need to see a specialist, in this case a psychiatrist--they have so much more knowledge of the appropriate meds for your particular symptoms.  It is good that you have sought help for your depression--it still has such a stigma attached to it.  I have the trifecta of depression, severe anxiety, and sleep disorder, but things are looking better for me right now.  Best of luck to you, and I hope you find a med or a combination of meds that will help you--I know all too well the suffering that comes from being depressed and anxious, and with modern medicine, it is unnecessary.  It's just going to take some time and experimentation.  Best, Leigh Anne

@cat I just want to respond to this post and then I'll slow down my posting..

@ Leigh Anne I've taken addies before but I didn't have a prescription, I was getting them from a family member. I found that they did make me feel good for a couple of hours after I first took it, but they wore off pretty quick, and I would feel depressed once they started to wear off. Also for me they did kill my appetite, and another side effect I didn't like was I was grinding my teeth a lot when I was on them. Also I think addies raised my blood pressure, and i was kind of worried I might have a heart attack. If you have to do physical labor I think taking an addy could be dangerous.. Maybe it's just me though. Also I have insomnia too and those addies made it harder to fall asleep at night. So for me addies have too many bad side effects. 

 

[Leigh Anne]

This is a great topic.  Interested in all info recd.

Thanks Cat I appreciate the compliment. 

Hey, I was wondering if anyone over here has any knowledge about these medications. I'm currently taking 40mgs of Celexa a night (actually the generic version which is called Citalopram). To be honest I don't know if this stuff is really working for me. I don't feel a huge difference from when I first stated taking it almost 3 months ago. I heard from somebody that Lexapro is similar to Celexa except it's more potent. I'm not sure what the conversion is like but I heard maybe 40mgs of Celexa is equal to 10mgs of Lexapro. Anyway I bring this up because I was wondering if I should ask my doctor to switch me to Lexapro net time I see him. I was just wondering if anybody knows about the differences between these medications, or knows of a better acting anti depressant medication? Thanks a lot!

I have been on just about every anti-depressant that have been made, including both Celexa and Lexapro.  Really didn't get much benefit from either med.  I see a psychiatrist, and we tinker with my meds, and I am now on a kind of soup that includes: X@nax, Bu$par, We!!butrin, Doxep!ne, Amb!en CR, and best of all--Addera!!.  Just started the Addys about 6 months ago, and they have helped me tremendously.  I have been able to get off my Resper!dol, and I am actually getting things accomplished around the house.  Home is clean, beds get made every day, no dishes in the sink, every drawer and cabinet has been cleaned and arranged just so--you get the picture.  Now, I have seen this doctor for about 6 years, so he was comfortable prescribing the Addys for me, but if you don't have a close relationship with your doctor, he/she may not want to prescribe a highly scheduled medicine like that.  I even had shock treatments last year that did nothing for my depression, only made my memory and concentration ability worse.  I see him again in a couple of weeks and he is probably going to add Phenterm!ne (which is a diet pill), but I have taken it in the past and it always gave me a boost of energy and a feeling of self-worth.  He says he has prescribed it before for off label usage as an anti-depressant.  I think that will do the trick--I need the appetite suppression, too.  The Addys are supposed to kill your appetite, but they make me hungry and want to snack.  My regular MD won't prescribe them because I am not really overweight, but I have put on a couple of pounds that I would like to get off.  So it has taken years of experimentation to get a cocktail of drugs that work for me.  Don't lose patience, don't disregard what your body/mind is telling you about the meds, and remember that it takes a good month sometimes for the anti-depressants to even start to work correctly.  Patients are always at higher risk of suicide 2 to 4 weeks after starting a new anti-depressant, because they finally have enough energy to carry out the plans they've had in mind....Don't let your family doctor manage your meds if you can help it--you really need to see a specialist, in this case a psychiatrist--they have so much more knowledge of the appropriate meds for your particular symptoms.  It is good that you have sought help for your depression--it still has such a stigma attached to it.  I have the trifecta of depression, severe anxiety, and sleep disorder, but things are looking better for me right now.  Best of luck to you, and I hope you find a med or a combination of meds that will help you--I know all too well the suffering that comes from being depressed and anxious, and with modern medicine, it is unnecessary.  It's just going to take some time and experimentation.  Best, Leigh Anne

@cat I just want to respond to this post and then I'll slow down my posting..

@ Leigh Anne I've taken addies before but I didn't have a prescription, I was getting them from a family member. I found that they did make me feel good for a couple of hours after I first took it, but they wore off pretty quick, and I would feel depressed once they started to wear off. Also for me they did kill my appetite, and another side effect I didn't like was I was grinding my teeth a lot when I was on them. Also I think addies raised my blood pressure, and i was kind of worried I might have a heart attack. If you have to do physical labor I think taking an addy could be dangerous.. Maybe it's just me though. Also I have insomnia too and those addies made it harder to fall asleep at night. So for me addies have too many bad side effects. 

I have been on different dosages of Addys, started at 20 mg, progressed to 30 mg, then progressed to 40 mg which was too much for me at that time.  I also have to take 2 mg of X@anx 4 times a day, and I am on Buspar also for anxiety so that makes the Addys side effects easier on me.  I run hypotensive, so an increase in blood pressure, which can be a side effect (also increased heart rate), actually benefitted me.  But without the anti-anxiety meds, I doubt I could tolerate the Addys either.  My doctor and I have been tinkering with medication for my insomnia, which I had before the Addys and which, of course, got worse.  Have been on R0zerem, Tr@zadone, D0xepine, @‌mbien, Remer0n, and I take muscle relaxers also.  Finally found my cocktail for sleep--one @‌mbien CR 12.5, either 3 Flexer!l or 3 Xan@flex, Chlor-tabs (anti-histamine), d0xylamine (anti-histamine), ben@dryl, my 4th X@nax for the day, and sometimes a Phenerg@n (anti-nausea medication, but side effect is drowsiness).  I also have something I bought over-the-counter called "nerve tonic"--it's really just some magnesium and other electrolytes, but it does seem to help a little bit.  Now, in 2 weeks I see the psychiatrist again, and because my appetite is still out of control and I'm still feeling a little depressed, I expect he will add the Phenterm!ne (we discussed this last month).  I don't recommend my night-time cocktail for anyone else--I got things prescribed, and kind of added this and that to potentiate the effects, and it just came out this way.  Part of the reason I am on the DBF is to find a little something extra for those nights when the cocktail doesn't work, or when my neck gets locked up so tight I can't turn it.  My "regular" MD won't write for any muscle relaxers stronger than what I've already mentioned, and he acts a little nervous to prescribe anything for me given all the other meds I am on.  He would crap himself if he knew instead of taking the muscle relaxer 3 times a day, I take all 3 at bedtime.  I had the teeth grinding you mentioned and jaw movements when I took R!speridol (it's called extra-pyridimal symptoms--I know I spelled that wrong), but it means involuntary movements that if you stay on the med can become permanent.  So if you have high BP, the Addys aren't for you, or you need a much lower dosage and very close monitoring.  But there are so many good meds out there that the right doctor could give you, the trick is to find that perfect, non-judgmental, compassionate physician.  I went through 4 or 5 before I found the one I have now, and I feel really blessed to have found him.  Anti-depressants aren't just to try to make me feel better--they actually save my life, and my other treatments make my life tolerable right now.  Not many people really understand mental illness--even in my own family.  My mom thought that because I was actually able to start cleaning and keeping house appropriately, it must mean that I am manic.  (I am not bipolar--I wish I had that energy sometimes).  My husband thinks now I must have OCD because I want things kept clean and orderly.  Depression is a disability, but because people can't look at you and see it, it goes unrecognized and misunderstood.  So glad to have this outlet & be able to connect to other people who do actually understand....Good luck with finding the right drug combination for you--it may take some time, but there are solutions out there.  There's more than just meds, too--therapy seems to help some people (I did that a couple of years, but it really wasn't for me, and now I'm too agoraphobic to leave the house that often), and as a last resort--shock treatments.  They have a really high rate of success, but unfortunately did not work for me.  All my best, Leigh Anne

 

[Leigh Anne]

This is a great topic.  Interested in all info recd.

Thanks Cat I appreciate the compliment. 

Hey, I was wondering if anyone over here has any knowledge about these medications. I'm currently taking 40mgs of Celexa a night (actually the generic version which is called Citalopram). To be honest I don't know if this stuff is really working for me. I don't feel a huge difference from when I first stated taking it almost 3 months ago. I heard from somebody that Lexapro is similar to Celexa except it's more potent. I'm not sure what the conversion is like but I heard maybe 40mgs of Celexa is equal to 10mgs of Lexapro. Anyway I bring this up because I was wondering if I should ask my doctor to switch me to Lexapro net time I see him. I was just wondering if anybody knows about the differences between these medications, or knows of a better acting anti depressant medication? Thanks a lot!

I have been on just about every anti-depressant that have been made, including both Celexa and Lexapro.  Really didn't get much benefit from either med.  I see a psychiatrist, and we tinker with my meds, and I am now on a kind of soup that includes: X@nax, Bu$par, We!!butrin, Doxep!ne, Amb!en CR, and best of all--Addera!!.  Just started the Addys about 6 months ago, and they have helped me tremendously.  I have been able to get off my Resper!dol, and I am actually getting things accomplished around the house.  Home is clean, beds get made every day, no dishes in the sink, every drawer and cabinet has been cleaned and arranged just so--you get the picture.  Now, I have seen this doctor for about 6 years, so he was comfortable prescribing the Addys for me, but if you don't have a close relationship with your doctor, he/she may not want to prescribe a highly scheduled medicine like that.  I even had shock treatments last year that did nothing for my depression, only made my memory and concentration ability worse.  I see him again in a couple of weeks and he is probably going to add Phenterm!ne (which is a diet pill), but I have taken it in the past and it always gave me a boost of energy and a feeling of self-worth.  He says he has prescribed it before for off label usage as an anti-depressant.  I think that will do the trick--I need the appetite suppression, too.  The Addys are supposed to kill your appetite, but they make me hungry and want to snack.  My regular MD won't prescribe them because I am not really overweight, but I have put on a couple of pounds that I would like to get off.  So it has taken years of experimentation to get a cocktail of drugs that work for me.  Don't lose patience, don't disregard what your body/mind is telling you about the meds, and remember that it takes a good month sometimes for the anti-depressants to even start to work correctly.  Patients are always at higher risk of suicide 2 to 4 weeks after starting a new anti-depressant, because they finally have enough energy to carry out the plans they've had in mind....Don't let your family doctor manage your meds if you can help it--you really need to see a specialist, in this case a psychiatrist--they have so much more knowledge of the appropriate meds for your particular symptoms.  It is good that you have sought help for your depression--it still has such a stigma attached to it.  I have the trifecta of depression, severe anxiety, and sleep disorder, but things are looking better for me right now.  Best of luck to you, and I hope you find a med or a combination of meds that will help you--I know all too well the suffering that comes from being depressed and anxious, and with modern medicine, it is unnecessary.  It's just going to take some time and experimentation.  Best, Leigh Anne

@cat I just want to respond to this post and then I'll slow down my posting..

@ Leigh Anne I've taken addies before but I didn't have a prescription, I was getting them from a family member. I found that they did make me feel good for a couple of hours after I first took it, but they wore off pretty quick, and I would feel depressed once they started to wear off. Also for me they did kill my appetite, and another side effect I didn't like was I was grinding my teeth a lot when I was on them. Also I think addies raised my blood pressure, and i was kind of worried I might have a heart attack. If you have to do physical labor I think taking an addy could be dangerous.. Maybe it's just me though. Also I have insomnia too and those addies made it harder to fall asleep at night. So for me addies have too many bad side effects. 

I have been on different dosages of Addys, started at 20 mg, progressed to 30 mg, then progressed to 40 mg which was too much for me at that time.  I also have to take 2 mg of X@anx 4 times a day, and I am on Buspar also for anxiety so that makes the Addys side effects easier on me.  I run hypotensive, so an increase in blood pressure, which can be a side effect (also increased heart rate), actually benefitted me.  But without the anti-anxiety meds, I doubt I could tolerate the Addys either.  My doctor and I have been tinkering with medication for my insomnia, which I had before the Addys and which, of course, got worse.  Have been on R0zerem, Tr@zadone, D0xepine, @‌mbien, Remer0n, and I take muscle relaxers also.  Finally found my cocktail for sleep--one @‌mbien CR 12.5, either 3 Flexer!l or 3 Xan@flex, Chlor-tabs (anti-histamine), d0xylamine (anti-histamine), ben@dryl, my 4th X@nax for the day, and sometimes a Phenerg@n (anti-nausea medication, but side effect is drowsiness).  I also have something I bought over-the-counter called "nerve tonic"--it's really just some magnesium and other electrolytes, but it does seem to help a little bit.  Now, in 2 weeks I see the psychiatrist again, and because my appetite is still out of control and I'm still feeling a little depressed, I expect he will add the Phenterm!ne (we discussed this last month).  I don't recommend my night-time cocktail for anyone else--I got things prescribed, and kind of added this and that to potentiate the effects, and it just came out this way.  Part of the reason I am on the DBF is to find a little something extra for those nights when the cocktail doesn't work, or when my neck gets locked up so tight I can't turn it.  My "regular" MD won't write for any muscle relaxers stronger than what I've already mentioned, and he acts a little nervous to prescribe anything for me given all the other meds I am on.  He would crap himself if he knew instead of taking the muscle relaxer 3 times a day, I take all 3 at bedtime.  I had the teeth grinding you mentioned and jaw movements when I took R!speridol (it's called extra-pyridimal symptoms--I know I spelled that wrong), but it means involuntary movements that if you stay on the med can become permanent.  So if you have high BP, the Addys aren't for you, or you need a much lower dosage and very close monitoring.  But there are so many good meds out there that the right doctor could give you, the trick is to find that perfect, non-judgmental, compassionate physician.  I went through 4 or 5 before I found the one I have now, and I feel really blessed to have found him.  Anti-depressants aren't just to try to make me feel better--they actually save my life, and my other treatments make my life tolerable right now.  Not many people really understand mental illness--even in my own family.  My mom thought that because I was actually able to start cleaning and keeping house appropriately, it must mean that I am manic.  (I am not bipolar--I wish I had that energy sometimes).  My husband thinks now I must have OCD because I want things kept clean and orderly.  Depression is a disability, but because people can't look at you and see it, it goes unrecognized and misunderstood.  So glad to have this outlet & be able to connect to other people who do actually understand....Good luck with finding the right drug combination for you--it may take some time, but there are solutions out there.  There's more than just meds, too--therapy seems to help some people (I did that a couple of years, but it really wasn't for me, and now I'm too agoraphobic to leave the house that often), and as a last resort--shock treatments.  They have a really high rate of success, but unfortunately did not work for me.  All my best, Leigh Anne

I forgot to add that I also take 50 mg of OTC Melatonin at night time, and I am also sure to take my Addys first thing in the morning, like by 0700, then it has mostly worn off by the time it is off to dreamland.  And if the Amb!en CR stops working as well, my doctor may prescribe S0nata or Lune$ta.  I've heard too many bad things about the new one--Bellv!sta or Bells0mra or something like that.  I read review after review of people having night terrors, partially waking up, hallucinating and being paralyzed.  Not going to try that one...

 

[Live it up]

Celexa made me really sick.  My tongue and lips swelled up and it was really bad.  I am allergic.

 

[Kurt Codean]

@Leigh Anne I'm sorry to hear that you have to rely on so many different medications to get to sleep. But if that is the only thing that works for you then you're probably better off taking those meds than being a chronic insomniac and not being able to function at all. I was a chronic insomniac for many years as I mentioned before, and for me it was so bad that I couldn't function normally. I was afraid to leave the house, and I had absolutely no self confidence so I couldn't even get myself to go for a job interview to get a job. This insomnia that I had occurred at the worse possible time in my life. I was just graduating form college and was supposed to find a job and hopefully find a career, but the insomnia disorder pretty much wrecked my plans and I feel like some of the best years of my life were wasted. I was a real basket case for a long time because of sleep deprivation. I couldn't even find anyone to talk to during that time because nobody understood what I was going through. It seems so simple that sleep should come naturally and most people would laugh if I told them my story. For me it was almost like I forgot how to sleep and I was experiencing terrible depression and anxiety because I felt exhausted every single day. I tried speaking to a doctor a couple of times, and none of them treated it like it was a serious problem. One doctor gave me a 7 day supply of Ambien to try to break the insomnia cycle but it didn't work. This was back when there was no generic Ambien, it was the blue name brand ones. 

Anyway I'm doing much better now.I have been sleeping better but I still seem to average around 4 to 5 hours of sleep a day which is not enough. I would like to get at least 8 hours. Also sometimes I do fall asleep but get really poor sleep quality and feel tired the next day. If I don't get at least one or 2 REM cycles when I'm sleeping then I feel pretty miserable the net day but I am trying to cope with it now. I think there maybe some psychological issues which are at the root of this problem, like fear of not being able to find a good job, or even just fear of not being able to sleep keeps me up sometimes. 

40 mgs of Addy is a lot in my opinion. I think if I was taking that much I would definitely need some benzos later on to help me come off it. I normally take 2mg klonapins, but i've tried xanax before and that works well too. I also tried Ativan and I thought that was good too. I think taking 2mg xanax 4 times a day is a lot. Your doctor actually prescribed you the 2mg xanax with those instructions? i guess that is cool. I know a lot of doctors are really difficult to get prescriptions form now a days. What is the quantity of the 2mg xannies you get if you don't mind me asking? I am just curious as to how much a doctor can prescribe in a month. 

I'm not sure if I am bipolar, but when I was taking the Addies I felt a little bit bi polar because my mood would change a lot after the drug started to wear off. I would feel happy when it first kicks in for a couple of hours but then later on when it starts to fade away I start feeling depressed. I was taking 20mg pills too, and sometimes I would take multiple pills whenever the first one started to wear off, just to try to keep that feeling going. But as i said doing that made it difficult for me to fall asleep. 

You are absolutely right about it being hard to discuss this with someone who might understand. I think this DBG forum is great because we can talk about our ailments and there are people who sympathize with us. I think this is a great resource for people struggling with mental health problems. You're right it is is hard to talk about it in person because even if you are talking to a psychiatrist, it's difficult to be completely honest because you don't want to be declared mentally ill and possibly get locked up in psychiatric ward. Anyway that is the good thing about this place, there is a good support group here and it kind of feels like AA but much more anonymous and discreet. 

Anyway Nice talking to you, I wish you the best. Perhaps i will continue this conversation with you later, but I have to get going for now.. Have a nice day!

CD212

 

[Leigh Anne]

@Leigh Anne I'm sorry to hear that you have to rely on so many different medications to get to sleep. But if that is the only thing that works for you then you're probably better off taking those meds than being a chronic insomniac and not being able to function at all. I was a chronic insomniac for many years as I mentioned before, and for me it was so bad that I couldn't function normally. I was afraid to leave the house, and I had absolutely no self confidence so I couldn't even get myself to go for a job interview to get a job. This insomnia that I had occurred at the worse possible time in my life. I was just graduating form college and was supposed to find a job and hopefully find a career, but the insomnia disorder pretty much wrecked my plans and I feel like some of the best years of my life were wasted. I was a real basket case for a long time because of sleep deprivation. I couldn't even find anyone to talk to during that time because nobody understood what I was going through. It seems so simple that sleep should come naturally and most people would laugh if I told them my story. For me it was almost like I forgot how to sleep and I was experiencing terrible depression and anxiety because I felt exhausted every single day. I tried speaking to a doctor a couple of times, and none of them treated it like it was a serious problem. One doctor gave me a 7 day supply of Ambien to try to break the insomnia cycle but it didn't work. This was back when there was no generic Ambien, it was the blue name brand ones. 

Anyway I'm doing much better now.I have been sleeping better but I still seem to average around 4 to 5 hours of sleep a day which is not enough. I would like to get at least 8 hours. Also sometimes I do fall asleep but get really poor sleep quality and feel tired the next day. If I don't get at least one or 2 REM cycles when I'm sleeping then I feel pretty miserable the net day but I am trying to cope with it now. I think there maybe some psychological issues which are at the root of this problem, like fear of not being able to find a good job, or even just fear of not being able to sleep keeps me up sometimes. 

40 mgs of Addy is a lot in my opinion. I think if I was taking that much I would definitely need some benzos later on to help me come off it. I normally take 2mg klonapins, but i've tried xanax before and that works well too. I also tried Ativan and I thought that was good too. I think taking 2mg xanax 4 times a day is a lot. Your doctor actually prescribed you the 2mg xanax with those instructions? i guess that is cool. I know a lot of doctors are really difficult to get prescriptions form now a days. What is the quantity of the 2mg xannies you get if you don't mind me asking? I am just curious as to how much a doctor can prescribe in a month. 

I'm not sure if I am bipolar, but when I was taking the Addies I felt a little bit bi polar because my mood would change a lot after the drug started to wear off. I would feel happy when it first kicks in for a couple of hours but then later on when it starts to fade away I start feeling depressed. I was taking 20mg pills too, and sometimes I would take multiple pills whenever the first one started to wear off, just to try to keep that feeling going. But as i said doing that made it difficult for me to fall asleep. 

You are absolutely right about it being hard to discuss this with someone who might understand. I think this DBG forum is great because we can talk about our ailments and there are people who sympathize with us. I think this is a great resource for people struggling with mental health problems. You're right it is is hard to talk about it in person because even if you are talking to a psychiatrist, it's difficult to be completely honest because you don't want to be declared mentally ill and possibly get locked up in psychiatric ward. Anyway that is the good thing about this place, there is a good support group here and it kind of feels like AA but much more anonymous and discreet. 

Anyway Nice talking to you, I wish you the best. Perhaps i will continue this conversation with you later, but I have to get going for now.. Have a nice day!

CD212

I get 120 X@nax each month, and with each prescription he gives me, he adds two refills (3 months at a time is maximum for that drug).  I know 8 mg of X@nax sounds like a lot in a day, but I started out at 1 mg a day, and just gradually over the years as my anxiety has worsened, the dosage has gone up.  4 times a day of 2 mg is the absolute maximum, and I just got that when I started the Addys out of necessity.  I do get better energy with the Addys and they have helped with my depression, but the anxiety is still there despite the X and the Bu$par (I take two 30 mg pills a day of that).  I am extremely agoraphobic, I only leave my house about once a month--I go to the doctor, pick up my prescriptions and fill them, and do my shopping for perishable items all in that day (everything else I buy, I order online--Lord, I love Amazon.com).  I know what you mean about sleep, and how badly you feel when you are not well rested.  That's kind of how my night-time cocktail came about--if I don't get some good zzzz's, I am irritable and especially anxious the next day.  The thing about sleeping pills is that they are highly regulated, so the physicians are reluctant to write for them, and the manufacturer's (I think to cover their a$$es) only recommend taking them for 2 weeks.  Well, that's great for two weeks, but then WTH are you supposed to do?  Hit yourself in the head with a hammer?  I just lucked into having a good doctor now that works with me.  My illness ruined my career, too.  I got my bachelor's degree in 1996, got a great job at a prestigious place, made great money, bought a beautiful new condo and sports car, and was on top of the world.  Then slowly, I just began to deteriorate--trouble concentrating, feeling anxious, problems sleeping.  Minor depression I thought, my family doctor put me on some mild anti-depressants that seemed to work for a little while, then my symptoms would start up again.  Morbid thoughts, taking un-necessary risks with my life, making bad decisions--I even started having trouble opening mail, paying bills (even though I had the money), wouldn't answer the phone, started pulling away from people.  I worked successfully for many years after I graduated, but my problems started interfering with my work as well.  I had to take personal time, then finally a medical leave, then eventually had to stop working.  I was just so overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks...started seeing a psychiatrist at that time and did some therapy, but progressed eventually to having a breakdown.  I lost my home, couldn't pay my bills, had to move back in with my parents, my boyfriend was completely confused by my behavior (he stuck with me though, and we are married now).  And I started gaining an enormous amount of weight, I must have put on 100 lbs in about a two year period.  Eventually got a little better, went back to work in a limited capacity, but soon all the depression came down on me again and I have been unable to work for a few years now.  I had a gastric banding about 7 years ago & lost all the excess weight, which made me feel a little bit better, but had to have it removed several months ago because of infection.  Now I'm too thin to get it replaced, and I don't have sleep apnea anymore because I am not obese anymore.  But I have gained a few pounds (even on the Addys), so my psychiatrist and I decided he would up the dosage this month, and if that doesn't work, he will prescribe phenterm!ne for me, which is the main reason I have been trolling online to find meds--it worked like a charm when I took it in my early 20's.  My BMI is not high enough really to qualify for that diet pill (which is a scheduled med, too--kind of an amphetamine effect), but he will give it to me for the off-label use of controlling my depression.  I love that man.  If there is any possibility you might be bipolar--do NOT take any uppers, you will get manic and never get good sleep.  My friend takes T0pamax, Trileptal (sp?), and Amytr!ptiline (sp?)--she also sees a therapist every two weeks which has been helpful for her manic-depression.  One more thing, my doctor preaches at me and I agree with him--EXERCISE releases endorphins which are a natural anti-depressant.  I can't exercise because I can't leave my house, and sometimes it's all I can do just to get my daily chores done, but it would be of great benefit to you for your possible mania as well as your depression.  One more thing, I'm embarrassed to mention this one, but I've announced to the world on here that I've had shock treatments and been hospitalized for my depression so here goes--sex also releases endorphins, and can have a calming effect as well.  And with women, there is scientific evidence that it helps bond you with your partner--which is helpful when you have trouble connecting in other ways because you just can't relate to each other's issues, etc.  So there is my two cents.  Sorry I wrote a dissertation here, but I know I take a surprising number of meds, and I kinda wanted to defend myself and my doctor, but it feels good to be able to vent as well.  I have my husband, my parents (who live in another state), and a best friend, but none of them really knows what it feels like to be deeply depressed, even suicidal in the past.  Someone who hasn't suffered from mental illness just cannot understand, and part of my depression is being an isolationist.  I hope I can help someone with this post.  Now, someone who read my earlier posts has mentioned Kratom as a med that could possibly be helpful to me, so I am off to read all about that.  I do hope you can find someone qualified to help you--you might also consider having a complete sleep study done--I was tired all the time without knowing why, and discovered I had sleep apnea.  Some people have restless leg syndrome, too.  And just being anxious and worrying constantly keeps you from sleeping well also.  Wishing you all the best, Leigh Anne.  Hit me anytime you want to talk--I'm always home (ha-ha), but there are some days even the computer seems too invasive so I might take a couple days to get back.

 

[Kurt Codean]

@Leigh Anne 

Yeah 2mg of Xanax 4 times a day is a lot. You mentioned that you get refills, but in my state You need to see the doctor every month to get a new script if it's a scheduled drug, so there are no refills on the bottle. Thanks for sharing your story. I believe you are right that exercise is a good way to manage your metal health. You know what they say, sound body sound mind. I feel bad for you that you say you cannot leave the house. You shouldn't have to feel that way. I'm not a doctor so maybe I'm not fit to advise you but you should be proud of yourself no matter what you look like. To be quite honest with you nobody really cares what other people look like. If everyone cared what everyone else thought they would never be able to leave the house. I understand how you feel though because I used to feel that way for a long time, but I eventually grew tired of trying to be perfect and now I don't care if I am slightly over weight. The world is free for everyone to enjoy, so you shouldn't have to isolate yourself in your home. If someone has a problem with you then it's them that has the problem not you. Nobody should be judging other people, and those that do judge are probably shallow and weak people themselves. I think the best thing to do is be yourself and make the world accept you for who you are. I know that may sound easier said than done, but take small steps in that direction and you will eventually start to free yourself form the imaginary shackles that hold you. You can go for walks in the early evening but there is nothing wrong with going out in the day time. I had weight issues myself and I have been up and down with it. When I was in college I started going to the gym, and just going there for the first time was really hard because I was so paranoid about what others may be thinking about me. But then you realize everyone that's in the gym started at some point in the same frame of mind. I don't think many people walked into the gym already highly built. I built up some confidence when I lost some weight and was going to the gym for a while, but then I got arrogant and though I could take a break. I ended up relapsing again with the weight and had to start all over with those feelings of embarrassment. But I think the older I get the less I care what other people think about me. I think as long as I am happy with myself I could care less if someone else doesn't like me. 

Anyway i still think I might need to see a psychiatrist because I have motivational problems. I should be looking for an office job in the financial industry but I'm working as a dishwasher in a restaurant. everyone thinks that is strange including myself. I think the reason I am doing that Is because it is a low pressure job and i have yet to overcome some fears of dealing with high profile people. I kind of feel like an introvert sometimes and would rather do some manual labor where nobody bothers me than to have to work with a group of executives and do presentations, but I need to overcome those fears eventually because I want to make use of my college degree Also I want to make more money . Ok Leigh Anne it's been nice  talking to you. hit me up anytime you want as well I will always be here. take Care and good luck,

CD212

 

[Kurt Codean]

@Leigh Anne by the way I forgot to ask you do, are you on disability or ssri? I was just curious because I don't see how you could work with all of those symptoms that you described, thanks.

 

[Leigh Anne]

@Leigh Anne by the way I forgot to ask you do, are you on disability or ssri? I was just curious because I don't see how you could work with all of those symptoms that you described, thanks.

I am on disability.  I went through two denials, then had a hearing in front of a judge with my lawyer, and when she got to the part about all the meds and the shock treatments with the memory loss and inability to concentrate--I got it, finally.  It's hard to get in this state, most people get denied initially.  I am slightly embarrassed about being on it, but its not welfare, I worked since I was 16, and every check got money taken out of it for disability.  So I feel like it's my money to claim--I'm not taking hand-outs.  One other thing I just found out about, is that there is a student loan forgiveness available.  I know you mentioned going to school, so you might still owe some money, too.  You don't have to be on disability to qualify, but you need a doctor to certify that you have been unable to sustain gainful employment for 5 years, OR that he/she anticipates that you will not be able to sustain gainful employment for the next 5 years.  I didn't know about that, and I still had that bill hanging over my head, and it looks right now that the loan has been discharged.  Now, that is for now, if I am able to go back & work successfully in the future, then the debt will be reinstated most likely.  Just FYI.  Leigh Anne.

@Leigh Anne 

Yeah 2mg of Xanax 4 times a day is a lot. You mentioned that you get refills, but in my state You need to see the doctor every month to get a new script if it's a scheduled drug, so there are no refills on the bottle. Thanks for sharing your story. I believe you are right that exercise is a good way to manage your metal health. You know what they say, sound body sound mind. I feel bad for you that you say you cannot leave the house. You shouldn't have to feel that way. I'm not a doctor so maybe I'm not fit to advise you but you should be proud of yourself no matter what you look like. To be quite honest with you nobody really cares what other people look like. If everyone cared what everyone else thought they would never be able to leave the house. I understand how you feel though because I used to feel that way for a long time, but I eventually grew tired of trying to be perfect and now I don't care if I am slightly over weight. The world is free for everyone to enjoy, so you shouldn't have to isolate yourself in your home. If someone has a problem with you then it's them that has the problem not you. Nobody should be judging other people, and those that do judge are probably shallow and weak people themselves. I think the best thing to do is be yourself and make the world accept you for who you are. I know that may sound easier said than done, but take small steps in that direction and you will eventually start to free yourself form the imaginary shackles that hold you. You can go for walks in the early evening but there is nothing wrong with going out in the day time. I had weight issues myself and I have been up and down with it. When I was in college I started going to the gym, and just going there for the first time was really hard because I was so paranoid about what others may be thinking about me. But then you realize everyone that's in the gym started at some point in the same frame of mind. I don't think many people walked into the gym already highly built. I built up some confidence when I lost some weight and was going to the gym for a while, but then I got arrogant and though I could take a break. I ended up relapsing again with the weight and had to start all over with those feelings of embarrassment. But I think the older I get the less I care what other people think about me. I think as long as I am happy with myself I could care less if someone else doesn't like me. 

Anyway i still think I might need to see a psychiatrist because I have motivational problems. I should be looking for an office job in the financial industry but I'm working as a dishwasher in a restaurant. everyone thinks that is strange including myself. I think the reason I am doing that Is because it is a low pressure job and i have yet to overcome some fears of dealing with high profile people. I kind of feel like an introvert sometimes and would rather do some manual labor where nobody bothers me than to have to work with a group of executives and do presentations, but I need to overcome those fears eventually because I want to make use of my college degree Also I want to make more money . Ok Leigh Anne it's been nice  talking to you. hit me up anytime you want as well I will always be here. take Care and good luck,

CD212

For my Addys, I have to have a hard, hand-written prescription every month to present to the pharmacy with my SSN, DOB, address, etc.  No refills on that either.  But the Xan@x I can get a script (they can even call it in or fax it) and he always puts 2 refills (that's the max in this state), so three months on a script.  120 2mg pill a month, and I can get them all at once.  Same with my @‌mbien CR, one script with 2 refills, and I'm good for 3 months.  Of course I see the doctor almost every month, sometimes when I'm doing well I'll go 6 weeks, but it's never a big deal to get the scripts.  When I visit, he gives me 2 hard scripts for the Addys, one for the current month, one dated for the next month so I don't have to go to the office to pick it up.  But that might be a rarity among physicians....Leigh Anne.

 

[Kurt Codean]

I am on disability.  I went through two denials, then had a hearing in front of a judge with my lawyer, and when she got to the part about all the meds and the shock treatments with the memory loss and inability to concentrate--I got it, finally.  It's hard to get in this state, most people get denied initially.  I am slightly embarrassed about being on it, but its not welfare, I worked since I was 16, and every check got money taken out of it for disability.  So I feel like it's my money to claim--I'm not taking hand-outs.  One other thing I just found out about, is that there is a student loan forgiveness available.  I know you mentioned going to school, so you might still owe some money, too.  You don't have to be on disability to qualify, but you need a doctor to certify that you have been unable to sustain gainful employment for 5 years, OR that he/she anticipates that you will not be able to sustain gainful employment for the next 5 years.  I didn't know about that, and I still had that bill hanging over my head, and it looks right now that the loan has been discharged.  Now, that is for now, if I am able to go back & work successfully in the future, then the debt will be reinstated most likely.  Just FYI.  Leigh Anne.

Wow Leigh Anne, you must be psychic or something. You kind of read my mind about the student loan question. To my knowledge the only way to get your Student loans discharged is to be on SSI. There are some forgiveness programs, but they aren't methods of discharging your loans, just alternative ways of honoring your debts by enrolling on income based repayment plans or by possibly becoming a teacher. I heard that loan forgiveness might be granted if you become a teacher and become part of the education system. This past year I enrolled in the income based repayment plan, because I ran out of forbearance requests. I requested a forbearance every year for about 10 years,after I could no longer obtain deferments. The criteria for applying for the income based repayment was that you have to have a job, because they ask for two pay stubs. So basically I got the easiest job I could find just so I can get some pay stubs to enroll in the program. Right now My income is pretty low so my student loan statements that come in each month say i have to send in $0.00. I think after one year some of the terms change so eventually i will have to start making some payments. 

I seriously doubt that I would want to become a teacher, just to get my loans forgiven, but I am still thinking of career options because i can't be a dishwasher forever, so maybe being  a teacher wouldn't be that bad. However I am pretty sure that your loans can be entirely discharged if you are on SSi, but if you are on SSI I guess you can't even have a career and have to live off a fixed income. But if you truly qualify for SSI or SSDI I guess you don't have a choice because that means you can't work anyway. 

You are absolutely right though you shouldn't feel embarrassed for getting SSDI or SSI. If the courts determine that you are qualified to get one of those programs then that means your decision to work is out of your hands. I'm sure there are people out there that try to get SSDI or SSI because they don't want to work, so that may be why it is hard to get and why most people get denied initially, but for the people that actually have issues that prevent them from working SSDI/SSI is a necessity and you shouldn't feel bad about getting it. I'm sure you would rather work and generate a better income than stay on the fixed disability income, but if you can't work then at least there is some help available for you.

The electric shock treatments seems scary as hell to me, because of the amnesia it causes. I wouldn't want to forget who I am and lose all my memories. That seems like a night mare to me. I hope you recovered form those shock therapies somewhat and won't have to go through that again.

Best Regards,

CD212

 

[Leigh Anne]

I am on disability.  I went through two denials, then had a hearing in front of a judge with my lawyer, and when she got to the part about all the meds and the shock treatments with the memory loss and inability to concentrate--I got it, finally.  It's hard to get in this state, most people get denied initially.  I am slightly embarrassed about being on it, but its not welfare, I worked since I was 16, and every check got money taken out of it for disability.  So I feel like it's my money to claim--I'm not taking hand-outs.  One other thing I just found out about, is that there is a student loan forgiveness available.  I know you mentioned going to school, so you might still owe some money, too.  You don't have to be on disability to qualify, but you need a doctor to certify that you have been unable to sustain gainful employment for 5 years, OR that he/she anticipates that you will not be able to sustain gainful employment for the next 5 years.  I didn't know about that, and I still had that bill hanging over my head, and it looks right now that the loan has been discharged.  Now, that is for now, if I am able to go back & work successfully in the future, then the debt will be reinstated most likely.  Just FYI.  Leigh Anne.

Wow Leigh Anne, you must be psychic or something. You kind of read my mind about the student loan question. To my knowledge the only way to get your Student loans discharged is to be on SSI. There are some forgiveness programs, but they aren't methods of discharging your loans, just alternative ways of honoring your debts by enrolling on income based repayment plans or by possibly becoming a teacher. I heard that loan forgiveness might be granted if you become a teacher and become part of the education system. This past year I enrolled in the income based repayment plan, because I ran out of forbearance requests. I requested a forbearance every year for about 10 years,after I could no longer obtain deferments. The criteria for applying for the income based repayment was that you have to have a job, because they ask for two pay stubs. So basically I got the easiest job I could find just so I can get some pay stubs to enroll in the program. Right now My income is pretty low so my student loan statements that come in each month say i have to send in $0.00. I think after one year some of the terms change so eventually i will have to start making some payments. 

I seriously doubt that I would want to become a teacher, just to get my loans forgiven, but I am still thinking of career options because i can't be a dishwasher forever, so maybe being  a teacher wouldn't be that bad. However I am pretty sure that your loans can be entirely discharged if you are on SSi, but if you are on SSI I guess you can't even have a career and have to live off a fixed income. But if you truly qualify for SSI or SSDI I guess you don't have a choice because that means you can't work anyway. 

You are absolutely right though you shouldn't feel embarrassed for getting SSDI or SSI. If the courts determine that you are qualified to get one of those programs then that means your decision to work is out of your hands. I'm sure there are people out there that try to get SSDI or SSI because they don't want to work, so that may be why it is hard to get and why most people get denied initially, but for the people that actually have issues that prevent them from working SSDI/SSI is a necessity and you shouldn't feel bad about getting it. I'm sure you would rather work and generate a better income than stay on the fixed disability income, but if you can't work then at least there is some help available for you.

The electric shock treatments seems scary as hell to me, because of the amnesia it causes. I wouldn't want to forget who I am and lose all my memories. That seems like a night mare to me. I hope you recovered form those shock therapies somewhat and won't have to go through that again.

Best Regards,

CD212

The amnesia would just apply to that morning and the procedure.  It did affect my long and short term memory, though.  There is the student loan repayment plan you mentioned, and looking at that I stumbled across a site that said you could get complete discharge of the loans if you met one of three criteria.  The first was related to being a veteran and having problems there, which didn't apply to me, the second was if your disability award letter said you wouldn't be audited for 5 to 7 years (just about everyone gets reviewed every three years unless you're paralyzed or something like that), the third was that if you had a physician certify that you would be disabled for the next 5 years, or had been disabled for 5 years.  You didn't have to be on disability to qualify for that one, just the doctor to fill out a short form testifying your diagnosis, your symptoms that prevented you from working, and signing that he/she certified you would be or had been unable to sustain gainful employment for 5 years (either prior to or after the time the paperwork got filled out).  My friend has applied for disability, but doesn't have it yet, and she is still qualified to apply for the discharge if one of her doctors fills out the paperwork.  My disability check was being garnished for the outstanding student loans I had, but that will stop now that the loan is forgiven.  I also will be refunded the garnished wages at least from the time the doctor signed the papers.  It's possible I might be reimbursed from the time the government certified me as disabled which is June 2011, which means I would get back tax returns that were seized for a couple of years, and the entire year I have been garnished.  College Assist says one thing, Nelnet says the opposite.  Either way, the money I owe (a substantial amount) is gone.  But like I said earlier, if they find that at some future point I am no longer totally and permanently disabled, then I might have to pay again on the loan--but that's really only if I am employed full time in the field I studied for and earned my degree in, and I don't anticipate that happening...The only people that can garnish a disability check is the government, either for back taxes or student loans, any other creditor cannot touch that money.  Hope this might help you...good luck.  Leigh Anne

I am on disability.  I went through two denials, then had a hearing in front of a judge with my lawyer, and when she got to the part about all the meds and the shock treatments with the memory loss and inability to concentrate--I got it, finally.  It's hard to get in this state, most people get denied initially.  I am slightly embarrassed about being on it, but its not welfare, I worked since I was 16, and every check got money taken out of it for disability.  So I feel like it's my money to claim--I'm not taking hand-outs.  One other thing I just found out about, is that there is a student loan forgiveness available.  I know you mentioned going to school, so you might still owe some money, too.  You don't have to be on disability to qualify, but you need a doctor to certify that you have been unable to sustain gainful employment for 5 years, OR that he/she anticipates that you will not be able to sustain gainful employment for the next 5 years.  I didn't know about that, and I still had that bill hanging over my head, and it looks right now that the loan has been discharged.  Now, that is for now, if I am able to go back & work successfully in the future, then the debt will be reinstated most likely.  Just FYI.  Leigh Anne.

Wow Leigh Anne, you must be psychic or something. You kind of read my mind about the student loan question. To my knowledge the only way to get your Student loans discharged is to be on SSI. There are some forgiveness programs, but they aren't methods of discharging your loans, just alternative ways of honoring your debts by enrolling on income based repayment plans or by possibly becoming a teacher. I heard that loan forgiveness might be granted if you become a teacher and become part of the education system. This past year I enrolled in the income based repayment plan, because I ran out of forbearance requests. I requested a forbearance every year for about 10 years,after I could no longer obtain deferments. The criteria for applying for the income based repayment was that you have to have a job, because they ask for two pay stubs. So basically I got the easiest job I could find just so I can get some pay stubs to enroll in the program. Right now My income is pretty low so my student loan statements that come in each month say i have to send in $0.00. I think after one year some of the terms change so eventually i will have to start making some payments. 

I seriously doubt that I would want to become a teacher, just to get my loans forgiven, but I am still thinking of career options because i can't be a dishwasher forever, so maybe being  a teacher wouldn't be that bad. However I am pretty sure that your loans can be entirely discharged if you are on SSi, but if you are on SSI I guess you can't even have a career and have to live off a fixed income. But if you truly qualify for SSI or SSDI I guess you don't have a choice because that means you can't work anyway. 

You are absolutely right though you shouldn't feel embarrassed for getting SSDI or SSI. If the courts determine that you are qualified to get one of those programs then that means your decision to work is out of your hands. I'm sure there are people out there that try to get SSDI or SSI because they don't want to work, so that may be why it is hard to get and why most people get denied initially, but for the people that actually have issues that prevent them from working SSDI/SSI is a necessity and you shouldn't feel bad about getting it. I'm sure you would rather work and generate a better income than stay on the fixed disability income, but if you can't work then at least there is some help available for you.

The electric shock treatments seems scary as hell to me, because of the amnesia it causes. I wouldn't want to forget who I am and lose all my memories. That seems like a night mare to me. I hope you recovered form those shock therapies somewhat and won't have to go through that again.

Best Regards,

CD212

The amnesia would just apply to that morning and the procedure.  It did affect my long and short term memory, though.  There is the student loan repayment plan you mentioned, and looking at that I stumbled across a site that said you could get complete discharge of the loans if you met one of three criteria.  The first was related to being a veteran and having problems there, which didn't apply to me, the second was if your disability award letter said you wouldn't be audited for 5 to 7 years (just about everyone gets reviewed every three years unless you're paralyzed or something like that), the third was that if you had a physician certify that you would be disabled for the next 5 years, or had been disabled for 5 years.  You didn't have to be on disability to qualify for that one, just the doctor to fill out a short form testifying your diagnosis, your symptoms that prevented you from working, and signing that he/she certified you would be or had been unable to sustain gainful employment for 5 years (either prior to or after the time the paperwork got filled out).  My friend has applied for disability, but doesn't have it yet, and she is still qualified to apply for the discharge if one of her doctors fills out the paperwork.  My disability check was being garnished for the outstanding student loans I had, but that will stop now that the loan is forgiven.  I also will be refunded the garnished wages at least from the time the doctor signed the papers.  It's possible I might be reimbursed from the time the government certified me as disabled which is June 2011, which means I would get back tax returns that were seized for a couple of years, and the entire year I have been garnished.  College Assist says one thing, Nelnet says the opposite.  Either way, the money I owe (a substantial amount) is gone.  But like I said earlier, if they find that at some future point I am no longer totally and permanently disabled, then I might have to pay again on the loan--but that's really only if I am employed full time in the field I studied for and earned my degree in, and I don't anticipate that happening...The only people that can garnish a disability check is the government, either for back taxes or student loans, any other creditor cannot touch that money.  Hope this might help you...good luck.  Leigh Anne

Oh, and the forgiveness you mentioned on the occupation you might go into is not just education, but nursing also.  Maybe some other jobs that help society as well.  And it's not well-known that a complete student loan discharge is available, but it is, and I got it (thank God)...

 

[Kurt Codean]

Oh, and the forgiveness you mentioned on the occupation you might go into is not just education, but nursing also.  Maybe some other jobs that help society as well.  And it's not well-known that a complete student loan discharge is available, but it is, and I got it (thank God)...

Hey Leigh Anne, How are you doing today? You made another good point in that last statement. I'm not so sure if I would enjoy being a teacher, but Nursing is a field that I am somewhat interested in. I think I enjoy helping people, and some of my friends have commented that I could be a successful in that area because I am a pretty big guy. I'm not super big, but I'm around 6 foot 1 and weigh about 215 pounds. People have told me that I would make a good male nurse because they need some male nurses who are capable of lifting patients and moving them from one bed to another, as well as other functions. I guess I want to look into how to become a male nurse, I'm not sure how much schooling it requires but I would be willing to go back to school in order to be eligible to enter that profession. The field that I majored in when I was in school, which was Economics, doesn't seem to be a field that interests me at all. The economy is in bad shape right now, and I don't want to be a financial representative that tries to sell people financial instruments that they may not even need. Those are the only type of positions I see available for people who have degrees in Economics, and also book keep positions, but I never took any classes in Excel so right now I don't think I would be able to get a book keeper position. Maybe another option would be to become a teacher of Economics or a teacher of some other field, but I think that would be my least favorable position, if I had a choice. However if that is the only position that I could get to make a living on, I think I would go for it. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it. Take care,

CD212

 

[Leigh Anne]

Oh, and the forgiveness you mentioned on the occupation you might go into is not just education, but nursing also.  Maybe some other jobs that help society as well.  And it's not well-known that a complete student loan discharge is available, but it is, and I got it (thank God)...

Hey Leigh Anne, How are you doing today? You made another good point in that last statement. I'm not so sure if I would enjoy being a teacher, but Nursing is a field that I am somewhat interested in. I think I enjoy helping people, and some of my friends have commented that I could be a successful in that area because I am a pretty big guy. I'm not super big, but I'm around 6 foot 1 and weigh about 215 pounds. People have told me that I would make a good male nurse because they need some male nurses who are capable of lifting patients and moving them from one bed to another, as well as other functions. I guess I want to look into how to become a male nurse, I'm not sure how much schooling it requires but I would be willing to go back to school in order to be eligible to enter that profession. The field that I majored in when I was in school, which was Economics, doesn't seem to be a field that interests me at all. The economy is in bad shape right now, and I don't want to be a financial representative that tries to sell people financial instruments that they may not even need. Those are the only type of positions I see available for people who have degrees in Economics, and also book keep positions, but I never took any classes in Excel so right now I don't think I would be able to get a book keeper position. Maybe another option would be to become a teacher of Economics or a teacher of some other field, but I think that would be my least favorable position, if I had a choice. However if that is the only position that I could get to make a living on, I think I would go for it. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it. Take care,

CD212

I have avoided disclosing this information because I don't want to throw shade on the occupation in any way (and I know I vent, & have the memory loss & all the psych problems), and because I haven't done it in about four years, but I am actually a critical care nurse (BSN, RN) that worked bedside for about 12 years, and another couple of years in a diminished capacity because I was becoming ill.  Finally, I had to leave--I just couldn't do it anymore, and nursing was my calling.  I'd wanted to be a nurse since I was a very small girl (I would put candy in empty pill bottles and pretend to be passing meds).  I got a partial scholarship to a great, private (so expensive) nursing school, and got my bachelor's degree.  Some people will go for their associate's degree (you are still an RN, but work in a different capacity sometimes), then work on their 4 year degree while they are working.  I figured I would just knock it all out at once.  My plan was to work ICU a couple years, then go to graduate school to become a nurse anesthetist.  I kept procrastinating, and just eventually gave up that dream--the only schools offering that program were a couple of hours away, and I just couldn't work full-time and do school, clinicals, commute, and have a life.  It is a great profession, and I still have an active license, and I respect nurses so much.  I wish I could go back to it someday, but I don't think I could take the physical, mental, and emotional toll it takes on you.  Plenty of jobs, though, lots of choices in areas of expertise, and great money if you want to work & do a little OT.  I also didn't tell anyone on here about my medical background because I have been out of it for a while, & that with the memory loss--I was afraid someone would ask me something in a professional capacity and that I wouldn't be able to answer their question.  I am unfamiliar with a lot of the new meds, too--the effects and such, and I was scared of pharmacology-type questions about interactions, metabolisms, half-life of drugs, dosages, etc.  I just don't want someone who has read my posts and can see I clearly have problems associating that with nursing.  Nursing is a great and noble profession, and I never want to reflect RN's poorly.  I also don't think I can do it anymore, because I had a deeply emotional reaction to having two patients in two days.  One was an 18 y/o shot in the head, dumped at the ER, brain-dead on the vent.  I'll never forget his family wailing and weeping over his broken body, and I had to stay objective and professional.  His family chose to donate his organs, and the very next night, in the very same room, I got the patient that rec'd his heart.  That family was overjoyed of course.  I couldn't take care of him though without thinking of the other family.  One family celebrating, one family grieving, and I just couldn't reconcile it in my brain.  I did all the right things in caring for both of those patients, but I couldn't be dispassionate about the situation...it still haunts me sometimes on those long dark nights when I can't seem to sleep and I think back to all those years I worked successfully, effortlessly...it just all came naturally to me.  So if you are considering nursing as a profession, you will find a rewarding and fulfilling career, but you will also get your heart broken sometimes along the way.  It's stressful, but if you have the mind to do it, I would recommend it highly.  You would probably have to practically start over in school--I don't know how much would transfer, and how much what you did would be in a nursing curriculum.  I would suggest if you decide to pursue it, to go ahead and get the BSN--you get the premiere assignments, you get more chances at different jobs that open up, and if you ever wanted to manage, they prefer a bachelor's degree trained nurse.  Hospitals also want national recognition, and if they have a large percentage of BSN vs Associate degree RN's, it gives the facility more points, and it is more attractive to other nurses they want to recruit.  Anything you want to know (what I can remember, anyway) ask away!  I think your family would be proud to have a son that is a nurse.  Male nurses are attractive to recruiters, too--we do the physical strength on the floors with the patients, but it's also wonderful that the occupation that has always primarily been connected to women is now becoming a viable option for men.  There are more men in management positions, too.  I guess that's true in most professions still.  If you can do it, your self-esteem will sky-rocket--there is NOTHING on earth more satisfying than helping to save a life.  The little things you do will give you pleasure also--just brightening a patient's day, or comforting someone's family, but as in every job, there is budget considerations, fights among staff members, all the usual stuff.  But it is a fantastic way to make a living if you're cut out for it.  I have been encouraging a couple of my nieces to consider nursing.  There are more and more positions as the population ages, so there is job security, too.  And there is a bond with your co-workers you don't get in other professions, it can be very satisfying.  Maybe one day I'll be able to go back to it, that would make my psychiatrist so happy.  He knows much of my identity was wrapped around my occupation (I am a daughter, but I don't have kids, married but that is a co-dependent type thing, too).  Best of luck to you.  I've written you another thesis here.  Any way I can be of help, please let me know.  Good night!  Leigh Anne

 

[Kurt Codean]

hey I want to switch gears a little. The other day I was cleaning my room and I found a 20mg Lexapro pill which must have been lost by one of my brothers who where taking it. I'm on 10mgs right now, but the other day, I took two of my 10mgs and I had this really intense dream. It was almost like a manic episode but in my dreams. It was kind of scary but also kind of cool. I tried to double up again last night but nothing happened. Now I'll be one pill short before my script runs out. Damn. But I do have a few 40mg celexas left over from before I switched. I think next time I am going to ask my doctor to up my dose to 20 mgs , or maybe I should wait a full two weeks on the 10's because It has only been about 9 days since I started them. Man that was a crazy dream though. It woke me up because it was so intense. Unfortunately i forget most of the details of all of my dreams not long after I awaken. I remember only a few blips. But I felt like a different person. I don't know if it was the lexapro, but it kind of gave me this feeling like I should be making changes in my life, like the path I'm on is not the right one. Again unfortunately, the feeling didn't  last because the next day and days after was business as usual. But that dream was so intense, like it was sending me a message or something. I was sort of thinking maybe the right dosage of an SSRI can bring out the true self in you, but then how would you know if that is really the person you are or just acting like someone you aren't because you're on drugs?

 

[Smc2015]

Celexa made me just feel very strange.  Had an Out of Body Experience on it no BS, insane, ill never forget, i had to rescue all these people from the river up the road, it was really fucked up.. Last time i ever took it TBH.  It also never helped out with my anxiety/panic disorder. Most of the SSRI family are geared to accompany a benzo and work interlocking if you will to make the "patient" feel ever better.... Not Celexa, total head butt with any meds I took, klonz to ALP.  just didn't mix well in the population for me... I only know one out of many that stuff works for.  So good luck with it...