Does Anyone's Spouse Work Night Shift?

[Swill369]

Recently my wife was offered a job at the state mental hospital, but the only available shift they had was "C" shift. This shift is from 11pm-730am. I told her to go ahead and take it because it would get her foot in the door and state retirement benefits are great! Of course this is completely opposite of what I work when I can, 8am-430pm. Initially we thought this would be great because of the money we'd save by not having to pay daycare once my youngest graduated kindergarten since she'd be able to stay at home during the day with mom. However, lately it seems like the little financial gain isn't worth the issues that its causing us. We hardly ever see each other, when we do she's usually tired and snippy with me. Has anyone been in this situation and did you have these issues?

 

[pun1175]

its not worth it 

 

[longwaydown]

its not worth it 

That's deep.... 

 

[Swill369]

its not worth it

I'm begining to see that now, but the option of her changing shifts is not available until 6 months on the job. At this point I'm just looking for ways that couples were able to work around the issues caused by it. Basically, I just need to hold things together through the summer.

 

[pun1175]

trust me itsbad when the communication falls short because work should always come second  too each other period im very sorry that in these times we live in things are so uncertain that most people are forced to take what they can get keep your head up

 

[Swill369]

trust me itsbad when the communication falls short because work should always come second too each other period im very sorry that in these times we live in things are so uncertain that most people are forced to take what they can get keep your head up

Thanks for the kind words. You are correct, IMO it should always be family and the work, but with times the way they are right now and with it being a state job it wasn't to difficult to tell her to take the job. At the time all I saw was affordable health insurance for my kids and a great retirement plan. The issues we are dealing with now didn't even cross my mind at the time.

 

[Boo Radley]

@lwd - are we twins? Lmao!!!!

 

[Boo Radley]

I have worked nights while my husband worked days. For us it wasn't really a problem. We had 1 day off a week together. I like private time though.

I would suggest you try to schedule time together and then look forward to it.

 

[longwaydown]

@lwd - are we twins? Lmao!!!!

HAHA- Funny I was wondering that exact same thing tonight!

 

[Swill369]

I have worked nights while my husband worked days. For us it wasn't really a problem. We had 1 day off a week together. I like private time though.

I would suggest you try to schedule time together and then look forward to it.

The nights off has been probably our biggest issue. So far she has not had 2 days in a row off and her nights off have been during the week when I work, so since she only has one night off she usually just sticks with the same schedule of sleeping during the day and staying up at night. Hopefully, once she gains some seniority she will start having consecutive nights off and things will get better.

 

[pun1175]

i hope she gets her time i know that squezz work can put on a relationship when ur both trying to get paid but communicate what r ur needs tell her i need you if only for right now that 1 day a week

 

[memfaith]

As long as things go back to the way it was after 6 months. Hang in there buddy

 

[Swill369]

As long as things go back to the way it was after 6 months. Hang in there buddy

Thanks. She actually has a night off tonight, so we are going to actually get to spend some time together. Plus, she got her June schedule and she has 2 weekends off that month, so things are starting to look up. Thanks for everyone's support!

 

[Boo Radley]

Yeah man day or night doesn't matter if you can get one day a week off at the same time. Who cares what schedule you're on. She sleeps in. You cook breakfast. Spend the day together. You go to bed she stays up and does the dishes.

When a spouse has shift work the most important thing is to schedule the time you have and stick to it. No ifs ands or buts

 

[Swill369]

Yeah man day or night doesn't matter if you can get one day a week off at the same time. Who cares what schedule you're on. She sleeps in. You cook breakfast. Spend the day together. You go to bed she stays up and does the dishes.

When a spouse has shift work the most important thing is to schedule the time you have and stick to it. No ifs ands or buts

That's been the hardest thing for me to deal with lately, the ifs, ands and buts. We did have a good night together last night and were able to talk through a few issues, now it's just a matter of both of us sticking to it.

 

[Swill369]

Just wanted to jump in and update everyone. Unfortunately things have been getting progressively worse for my wife

And I. It seems as if all trust is gone on her part with regards to me. I actually woke up to her coming home last night during the middle of her shift to make sure I was at home by myself. I don't exactly have the best history with relationships, but what I did 12 years ago should have no bearing on whether or not I should be trusted today. Thankfully, her time is coming up where she can change to day shift and maybe that will help us out. If it doesn't get any better, I honestly don't see myself putting much more time and effort into a relationship that just seems to be in a holding pattern. Sorry guys, just had to get it off my chest. All the best!