Happy to be here!

[Scootover88]

Hello all,

Brand new here and just wanted to say a quick hello before diving in! I've read everything labeled or pinned for newbs and made a donation, but plan on doing much more reading and exploring before being super active so you may not hear much from me for a bit. 

I'm sure many have similar stories but my background is that as a result of my life long profession (riding/training/showing horses since I was 5) I have racked up quite the list of injuries and back/neck issues. Did the pain management thing for a while but got sick of being treated like a criminal by doctors and pharmacies. Sought other methods of pain relief and even stopped riding and training for almost 2 years and just went to coaching, which made me miserable. I've done alright with managing my issues naturally and otc for a while, but my career and a barn full of 30+ horses to train and care for (do you know how much a bale of hay weighs and how many bales 30 horses can suck down in one day?) just calls for a little more some days than others, but still doesn't seem worth going through the ridiculousness of dealing with PM docs in my state. So when I stumbled upon this forum, it seemed like a pretty cool community that may or may not be able to help me out, but worth being a part of anyways.

So I'll do my best to be a helpful, not obnoxious member, and if anyone is ever kind enough to pass on tips, hints, funny jokes, etc. I'll always be appreciative!

Cheers!

 

[PTFC]

Welcome scootover, we hope we can be of assistance to you and your unfortunate circumstances. Thank you also for donating, your generosity is appreciated! ☺ 

 

[Scootover88]

Donating is the least I can do @PTFC, I hope to be able to give regularly. It's amazing how much time and effort is clearly put in here! I have been literally reading all night and am blown away by how dedicated you mods and admin are. It's almost unbelievable! So thanks for all you lot do, I'll what I can as well . 

 

[PTFC]

It's a pleasure scootover, we do our best, as do many of the members also. 

 

[cdg]

Thank mods for all you do and are unthank-ed for as well

 

[Guest]

Hi scootover88 I'm new to the site also. I came here because of a 22 yr addiction to benzo's and my doctor is finishing my script.

I look at my situation with horror as I have tried to come off them before but ended up hospitalised due to seizures and breathing difficulties.

 

[MrGalls]

Hi Scootover88,

I am sorry to hear about your situation.  Just sometimes, It's cool to be British and have the NHS to go to.  They would give you morphine patches if you were over here, but a woman who was neighbours with me was constantly complaining that they were weak, I think that when it comes to oxy's etc. (opiates in general) UK Drs are very careful how these are distributed.

I really hope that you find your answer here, everyone on this forum seems lovely.  I'm a new member myself if you would like any fellow newbie questions answered whilst it's fresh in my mind.

Best Wishes,

Mr Galls,  

 

[Scootover88]

Thanks for the warm welcome all . @Deviltrax, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I did the rehab thing once and it was great (though not at the time). Everything I learned helped me really get a handle on things and be able to be more balanced, but it sure was hell at first. It sucks that the meds that can help give people a better quality of life are also so addictive and vilified, making them so hard to get. Even if someone is addicted, that doesn't mean that getting completely clean helps, because the original issues are still there. My only advice would be to look into some alternative options and treatments to help balance yourself so if you do come up short sometimes, it's not so awful for you. And then do your best to take advantage of this forum because, my god, so far it's been amazing! I still can't believe this place really exists. 

@MrGalls, I spent my honeymoon this past August in Europe (London, Dublin and southern Germany) and I had actually broken a rib the day before the wedding. Went to see a doctor over there and it was the easiest, cheapest, and least amount of paperwork I have ever experienced related to healthcare! It was awesome. My boss used to live in England though and said the big downside is that injuries and issues that are usually fixed completely over here, with surgery and such, have a tendency to just be referred to physio over there and end up never getting properly taken care of so a lot of people end up having to be on welfare, who may have been ok otherwise. Guess you can't have the good without the bad though. I think the ability to have daily access to bourbon cremes would make it alright by me though! They're my real guilty pleasure, lol. 

Cheers!

 

[MrGalls]

Scootover88,

I hear you, there is always a shortfall and someone has to suffer.  In Britain it has been the elderly that have taken the brunt of it.  When my Gran was in a nursing home in 95' it was disgusting.  They were left all day sitting there and watching a single tv.  Those who had nappies, they were changed every half day and it stank.  Me and my Bro, being kids, walked around the outside to scare the grannies, but what we saw scared us, they were sitting there dribbling and half-dressed and I know that you bruise much more when you are older, but some of them, well, I don't know!   And yeah, [def a patch up and go service, especially mental health, t 's awful.  However, I get a load of meds free and I don't know the policy in the States, what about kids and the elderly, learning disabled, war veterans?  It's a crazy world Scoot!

Feel free to chat to me anytime, that would be cool and search and search and read and read and you will get there.  

Mr Galls,

 

[MrGalls]

Deviltraxx, I've only been several months clean after an Eight year addiction.  I started on Diazepam and then I was given Lorazepam, not having a clue what it was after four weeks of 4-6mg's lorazepam (40-50mg's of Diazepam) I was hooked.  Lorazepam is a bastard of a drug and I would tell anyone ordering it to do so with caution, it's fast acting and has a short half-life, meaning it leaves the body very quickly, not good.  Then Clonazepam and then Diazepam and I did it on my own, I told the GP's and the psychiatrist how I wanted it.  These are horrid drugs, although I think I might be in the minority with that view here, LOL!  Always be aware how bad the withdrawal will be!

Deviltraxx, if you would, what were you taking or are currently taking and what dose?  Have you had massive problems because you go psycho when you're drunk??  I spent a great deal of the time pissed and whilst that didn't do me any good, it did mean the symptoms weren't as harsh.  However, when I'm tired now, I here phantom conversations and moises.  That']'s not alcohol, the bastards have destroyed me!! 

I hope that you reply Dev.  I don't know if I can help you, but I can try and if you just want to talk it over cool!!

Mr Galls,

 

[Guest]

Mr Galls

My dose is 50mg Diazepam and 20mg Nitrazepam. So as you can see by my dose I can't come off them unless I do a long term reduction.

My meds have been taken over by a drug clinic (still NHS) and I have to collect every Friday. The problem is that I am sometimes away due to work and miss pick up day. I have had to do a withdrawl unless I buy and luckily I have had a supplier who lives local. He has now had his script stopped and this has put me in an awful situation. I don't know how to cope without my meds in the weeks I don't collect. I desperately need a new supplier so I can always have some benzo's with me. Not forgetting the fact I am also very partial to benzo abuse, reason i'm on them coz I like the feel.

Deviltrax

 

[MrGalls]

Deviltrax,

I feel for you.  I was on 26mg's of Lorazep7m a day for three years at my worst, that's hundreds of mg's of diazep7m.  I would be laying there in bed, too weak to go to the chemist, they made me go for my meds every bloody day for six years.  What's worrying about your Dose isn't the valuem and besides, there's nowt apart from LibrEum that you can switch to and lib is awfully weak.  What's concerning are the Nitraz, that's a lot to be taking every day because (as you know) they're nasty tablets and I know the temptation to swap them for some z-drugs to take the ease off, especially not sleeping.  Do you still get any benefit from them at all? I mean either the Vallies or/and the Moggies??  If not then, yes a taper will take you some time, but I would urge you to do it.  Every minute longer you spend on them needlessly is another minute they're damaging your brain.  Youmay have noticed symptoms being on that much, like jumping when you're trying to fall asleep, jerky movements etc??

Everyone's on Benzo's because they like the feel.  Don't beat yourself up about it, they feel great, or stop you feeling as bad, I'm not quite sure which.  That was a warning sign for myself TBH!  Can you not keep a stash for when you have none or do you find that you start with that good intention but take them on top anyway??

We'll have PM privileges soon, please don't feel awkward about getting in contact with me, I can't help you physically, I've been there tho and it's a nightmare, I know.  Made worse because no-one who hasn't had that experience believes that they can be any worse to withdraw from than crack or Heroin or alcohol.  Benzo's are tho, I can say that, they are the WORST drugs that I have ever had the misfortune to become dependent on.  Having said that, taper it, I'm sure that you have heard of Prof. Ashton and the Ashton Manual??  You'll find all that you need to know online.  Stick with it and don't hold out coming off of them when you're down to 5 or 10mg's, just stop.  I've been reading recently of people cutting up 2mg whities until they're down to a tenth of a milligram, this is needless and more painful ultimately.  And the withdrawal, when it was over and done with it wasn't as painful as I had been led to believe, I know it can be different for different peeps, but those nightmare stories, that's only if you torture yourself with them and prolong things.

I'll just say it again in case you need it.  Please get in contact if you need any help or advice and if you haven't read anything by her already, get to know Prof. Ashton!!

All The Very Best,

Mr Galls,

 

[PTFC]

Definitely, I am using the Ashton method myself. It was a silly position to get myself into.