Infidelities? Yes? No? Maybe So?

[Guest]

After some recent happenings, I am really curious to hear open experiences/opinions/thoughts on being unfaithful. This is a no judgement zone /default_smile.png

Obviously cheating is bad mmmmmkay. We know this, I know this. Under what circumstance have you? Would you? Could you? Did you?

And as we all know. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. Who's been done dirty?

Spill it!!

I may or may not have a super juicy secret story that's burning a hole in my mind. /default_wink.png

 

[Guest]

ha ha i like this topic.

Now i go look the tv program cheaters, /default_biggrin.png

 

[Heisenberg / HNB]

All I read was "super juicy" by "1hawtlady". Ahem.

 

[cymbaline]

Iv cheated on my fiancee' at the time i was (anybody familiar with quadrophenia by the who^)

I was out of my brain on the.train 5:15

The guilt was killing me it wasn't due to the lack of love but i was ttrying to make upfor the high school conquests that i never had the nerve /game (fat kid in school) also she (my duck buddy ) wanted to be treated like a skank and enjoyed tossing. my salad . i couldn't ask my fiancee to.do.these things.because of.her OCD

long story short i felt guilty about.doing. this and.living. So i left her feeling that our relationship was damaged so bad having.to hide the fact. im back with my fiancee'and we are working on things. Slowly

She.eventually ffound out i cheated (relieve)

And i know.its something.ill never do again.

She is the one i wanna spend my life with

the worse part is that i spent 5 years protecting.her and im the one who hurt her the worse

 

[Guest]

Ok, I will share my super secret squirrel story. Remember this is a no judgement zone, please no public shaming /default_wink.png . If you don't want to read about sex, please divert your eyes from my post now. Let me rewind five years ago, to give you the whole story.

So there I was..... footloose and fancy free (awww those were the days!) I had JUST gotten out of basic training, and was home on Christmas leave for two weeks. Needless to say, at that point I just really needed to get laid. A friend of a friend introduced me to a worthy participant. What I planned on being a one or two night thing turned into a solid week long fuck fest, until I was finally forced to cut it off when I had to leave. It was the best sex of my life.Bed breaking, body bruising, mind blowing sex. It was a personal record of 10+ times in a 24hr period.

Fast forward 5 years to present day. We've periodically kept in touch over the years, he married and had two kids, I married and have a 3yr old. He lives 1,000 miles away, I've had to move to a strange town where I know no one . We've never been inappropriate, just usually talked about fitness stuff (he runs a Cross fit, and I'm kinda a health/fitness fanatic). Three months ago we started sexting and exchanging naughty pictures until we were both so goddamn turned on we decided it was an itch that had to be scratched. So being the angelic person I am, I agreed to a "sexcation". A week ago he flew into a town a three hour drive from me, and we got a suite..... and well.... I am quite certain I engaged in the hottess, sexiest, primal, animalistic sex ever had. Ever. There are literally no words to fully describe the level of body banging intensity (but don't worry I'll try). It surpassed any expectation of sex I could ever had (and believe me, I've had my share). Within the first day we had it at least 16 times, but more importantly, he came every single time. Sometimes back to back without stopping (PLEASE tell me if anyone has ever experienced this before!?!? It was super human) . Ok, I'll stop there.

So we originally planned on carrying on a little affair and meeting up for a sexcation once or twice a year, but I do have a conscience, and frankly its sexual torture to wait months in between, so I pulled up my big girl britches and cut it off totally. I'm still so sad, and feel kinda heart broken. But I know its probably for the best. So things are back to the usual monotony, but I'm still kinda reeling and basking in the after glow of multiples.

But don't worry, I'm feeling my share of guilt.

Why do you think (or why have you, or would you) people cheat? Any input?

 

[Guest]

For me it was more of a physical thing. I got married around 25, and had a few good long wild years out of my system. I have been nothing but a loving, dutiful, wife and mom. I'm attracted to my husband, I like interacting with him on a verbal/intellectual level. But at first when your married its all hot to be like "oh yea baby, I'm yours for the rest of your life!!" Then it kinda turns into "you again?" (5yr itch maybe). But here's the thing that's totally arbitrary. I desperately wish my husband was taller ( I told you it was arbitrary). I'm almost 5'8, and have a thicker athletic build. My husband is 5'10, and very fit but doesn't have much bulk. He is a good lay, and is a great companion. We'll call my partner in infidelity "the Indian". The Indian is 6'2, tall dark and handsome, with a thicker build (body of a demi god), and is a goddamn sexual stallion.

Ok, now I'm starting to judge myself. Hahaha

 

[Guest]

Thank you for sharing cymbline. Very interesting.

 

[freesmok]

When I was younger I didn't care about what I did to my gf's but after about 30 I turned into like super bf and did everything for my significant other with the exception of one ex who I could never seem to lose contact with.....if out of anything at least friendship cause she really looked out for me in the past....but idk...when in a relationship I try to keep it monogamous..... to much drama doing anything else

 

[Guest]

My boyfriend is Libyan.  There are some of them that are very strict and he is one.  I don't question him about infidelity.  I have no reason to believe that he is unfaithful, but according to his culture, he COULD consider it disrespectful for me to question him and not have a very good reaction.  Also it would have a negative effect on the relationship.  

 

[Guest]

Wow! As someone that has a boyfriend and a husband dare i speak?

 

[Veronica]

Can't believe I'm about to share this crazy secret of mine but I can't trust anyone and I need to let it out. I have a high school sweetheart, my ex, my first if you know what I mean. We hid our relationship for years through high school because I had very strict parents. Extremely strict no sports, no tv, no radio, no friends or no hanging-out, prom, and no boyfriends you get the picture. I was allowed to work my high school yrs. out of necessity, never saw a dime but that's another story I didn't care because then I had a chance to see him other than just school.

So when we started to date I told him about my parents we quickly kept it quiet and started sneaking around to see each other. His close friends helped us out too. Now it's senior year and it's coming to and end what to do, he was heading to college and I was told from as far as I can remember girls who go to college just go to get pregnant so don't even think about it. I stayed behind for a year meanwhile he was getting impatient. We were missing each other so much.

He came home after a yr. and said his parents would give us money so we could move away and start a life together then when things died down we could come back. The plan was to leave with him the next morning after my parents went to work so I decided to tell my mom. I just felt so torn and I wanted to explain and say goodbye. I was sure she would be to afraid to tell my dad, Big mistake she told!

So around 3 am I hear my dad yelling across the house for me. He threatened me but somehow I stood my ground telling him that I loved him. Then he begged me and I started to cry telling him I was so sorry but I loved him! Then for the first time my father broke down crying, pleading don't do it and I was in shock, I felt horrible I gave in and he made me promise not to leave and I promised. Next day my boyfriend calls and I breakup with him trying to explain but he was devastated.

Years pass and I rebel, I'm angry, I leave home with friends leave a small town for a big city running around carelessly, I know now God was the only one watching over me cuz can't believe I survived that time. No car, no money, no license, not even food at the times but I was happier than ever being free!

I meet a guy he's sweet and very caring and helpful. Took me in with all my problems, he said it was love at first sight. I knew it was real because what man hears you cry almost everyday and when he asked whats wrong you tell him I rather you be someone else, I'm in love with another and all he does is hold me and allow me to heal.

After six yrs. I finally marry him make a life have children and have everything I can possible want or need and after 25 yrs. of marriage I still wonder....

Present time with social media I found him not hard too we come from small town. I wrote hey, it's been a lifetime how are you? He wrote back. Is this really you? When I hear Cindy Lauper, "Time after time" I think of you. We talked a bit found out he joined the army when I broke his heart he said he would never come back to town again. He married around the same time as I did. He has children same age as me. He said he just got tired of being alone and when he married he didn't even know the girl.

He says he can't stop thinking of me. He loves me more than ever. I'm the only one he has ever loved. He can't see a movie, hear a song, or a certain food cuz it all goes back to me.

He remembers everything about me as if it was yesterday. He remembers what I wore the first time we made love, my favorite perfume he bought it for her to wear.

He has been living far away all these years and his children are know making there own lives he is moving back and he will be about 20 minutes away from me.

He says he is willing to leave her right now come get me and we can finally be together, I know this is crazy!

So you ask infidelity? Yes, No, I'm thinking I need your opinion right about now. He will be back in January!

I'm not ready to leave my family and wonderful husband but when I talk to my ex I feel complete.

Can't wait to hear what you all think?

 

[dvz]

Emotional affairs can be the most damaging of all.

I speak from a long time of experience. Now, when I meet someone online, or reconnect with a past lover, I make certain the boundaries are rock solid. Half the time, they beat me to it.

I am beyond blessed to have, on line speaking, one big brother and three little brothers who treat me like their sis. Just as protective and wonderful without the sexual components, meaning no temptations, regrets or feelings of infidelity. I am truly grateful and beyond lucky.

 

[jthompson27566]

Been married to the same lady for 34 years. Have all of them been exciting, No, do I still know women who excite me beyond what my wife normally does, sure, does the same thing happen to her, pretty sure it does, we'll all human and emotional. Now for the infidelity part, that has to be a personal decision. Don't judge, won't judge on that one. That's your own personal decision. I made a decision a long time ago to stick with this lady for the rest of my life. I made this decision at age 20 which by most men's maturity standards was about 16 at the time mentally. I have said that in most penal colonies I would have earned parole by now. However, we made it this far, hasn't been easy at times, but I'm glad I stuck by her and she has stuck by me through the thick and thin. There have been a few over th years where the chemistry would have been fantastic, you could just tell from the way you got along but in each of those cases I chose to run the other way. My take on this situation is this, if what you are going after is worth giving up all you have, then do it, if not then maybe you should rethink it!

 

[Veronica]

I've been really thinking about this and reading my own words over and over and One thing that sticks out clear as day is the most important sentence at the end of it all. I'm not ready to leave my family and wonderful husband , so there I answered my own question.

Can't go back things happened like this for whatever reason. God has blessed me with an amazing husband and beautiful daughters. I know first hand how it feels to be broken to pieces and have your world torn apart so I'm not going to do that to them.

It was nice to go back and reminisce and as adults explain things that were misunderstood and why things happened the way they did.

He will always be my first love but it's to late to risk the love of my husband and daughters for what could of been.

I'm telling him tonight. I'm glad this post was put out there so I could face my own demons.

This is an awesome place to be with great people. Glad I came across all of you

 

[Guest]

I've been really thinking about this and reading my own words over and over and One thing that sticks out clear as day is the most important sentence at the end of it all. I'm not ready to leave my family and wonderful husband , so there I answered my own question.

Can't go back things happened like this for whatever reason. God has blessed me with an amazing husband and beautiful daughters. I know first hand how it feels to be broken to pieces and have your world torn apart so I'm not going to do that to them.

It was nice to go back and reminisce and as adults explain things that were misunderstood and why things happened the way they did.

He will always be my first love but it's to late to risk the love of my husband and daughters for what could of been.

I'm telling him tonight. I'm glad this post was put out there so I could face my own demons.

This is an awesome place to be with great people. Glad I came across all of you

Well said!

 

[Flexo5812]

I am addicted to reading all the horrible things that people go thru at the talk about marriage forum. It's a veritable treasure trove of what not to do in relationships.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/

 

[Meltheangel]

Veronica, great decision. Not worth the risk. Both of you are different now compared to 25years ago.