Its Heavenlee im back finally! Whoop Whoop!

[Kalsima]

Im sorry I havent posted my router was hacked because my sons an idiot and gave my wifi password to all his friends and my account was hacked again! But thats not why Im posting today. Im building a house down by you @Def_Starr and it will be completed by the end of the month.  I'll still have my home in the Rockies but I'm renting out to my neice and her fiance so I can visit my son. I havent been well Ive literally been living in the hospital more than home. I just wanted to let the newer members that this board has literally saved my life. I know members here legitimally need pain meds and other meds that their doctors underprecribe or just dont seem to care about how much pain they are in. And Im very grateful for this board because of this. When I joined I abused my priviledges to all drugs and recreational heroin and cocaine. I am so grateful to our mods @PTFC and @2earls and the countless friends I have made here. They never gave up on me and in December I will have 3 years of sobriety except for alps because of the hope and help they have given me. I just wanted to let newcomers know it is also a place of recovery too. I hate confiding my age but when I hit menopause my body began breaking down. It first started with hernias, umbillicum then a hiatal. My gastro doctor ran so many tests I cant count but i also have Acid Refkux Disease, Severe Anemia and Dysphogia and he found two red bumbs after my colonoscopy and endoscopy on my liver. Apparently, I found out I have an AH1autoimmune defeciency that attacks my liver. He informed me that the three years of quitting abusing narcotics and cocaine has helped my liver or I could be dead now. I have ascites  that form in my stomach that they have drained twice and I have one more procedure to remove my gallbladder because of my liver not functioning to remove the bile. But Im very optimistic they run blood tests and liver scans every three months to catch the asplagia in my liverif it turns cancerous. It sucks being anemic because of my damaged inflamed liver i literally cant take any meds to help the pain, but moving will be able to let me be able to breathe again. My bloodsaturation is around 93-94 so I need oxygen now. Moving to sea level I can start recovering and eating healthy and get exercise. I just want to let everyone know how grateful I am for this board. I look back at my older posts and Im so embarrassed because I was literally out of my mind. Now I can write with a clear head and know that I can recover and get healthy again. I have become a better wife and mother. Whatever gets you to this forum, I wish you all love and happiness. If you need meds I believe this board is a blessing. Ive read devestating stories from people who need this board. But for others like me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This forum has changed my life and me as a person for the better. Thanks and just wanted to say how much Ihave missed you all. And giving me a new life with obsticles but I know I always have the help of this forum to overcome them. To all old and new i wish you all good health and happiness! Love, Heavenlee

 

[Gracie5]

 

[Kalsima]

 Love and missed you @Gracie5, you and others are and always have been inmy thoughts. I sound crazy, im not totally sober because Im still on benzos, but looking back three years ago, my abuse of heroin and cocaine and my erratic bizarre behavior, my family can deal with them, but my doctor doesnt even want me to take aspirin because of my liverand heart, i have a pig valve that needs to be replaced soon because of the endocartitis I got using dirty needles. You wouldhave thought almost dying from it would make me stop, but it didnt. This board is like a diary of my life, I had to hit bottom, and thankfully @2earls and @PTFC gave me hard advicethat hurt like hell, but if it werent for their honesty and help I would have been banned! Tough love was the only way to get through to me. Im grateful for it now or I wouldnt be posting to you. But you have always been in my thoughts because of a sticky note you sent, sounds like we have things in common. I will pm you! I hope you are doing well, missed you!

 

[Def_Starr]

Hey Hey  im still around  getting my harvest from BwilliA still, building a crib by me uh?>>??? 

okay il crash in the garage with my surfboards and keep a mini fridge for my beerski  

 

[Kalsima]

@Def_Starr I cant wait to be by you, about 20 minutes away, not on the barrier island, our last house, my husbands moms house was always messed up because of the saltwater, everything gets rusty and clogged so Im land locked at my new house but ten minutes away from the beach. Still have to buy flood insurance though, damn after Mexico City and Panama City! But I love the Atlantic instead of the gulf. Bigger waves, and Im practicing my boogie boarding and surfing. I grew up in Fort Lauderdale, but my skills are rusty! I thought it would be like riding a bike, and the very first time I was boogie boarding and stopped my fall with my hand and broke a tiny bone in my hand and was in a cast only three months  though. I definately need lessons or help. We have a pool, but I love swimming in the ocean. I love the boardwalk and meeting people. OMG, thank god for @bwillia1, or my husband would have refused to leave here. Me too as well. And you know your always welcome to come and see me or Ill travel to you. And damn you were so right about what we talked about last time! 

I was fishing in Jensen wearing or rather advertising a pot shop and Fish and Wildlife come pulling up, I had my Florida license so I could fish for free but my husband had a rec state car liscense and they went directly to me asked to see my fishing license and I had left it in my car. I was running across the street and they literally had guns drawn told me to stop, and seriously said they were looking for illegal snook. They patted me down and searched the car, my purse, even my sunglasses case, how the hell would I have snook in there? Or in my pockets? Thank you for the lookout there! You literally saved my ass and wanted to thank you for the decision you made. Pretty scary, I drive totally clean now because of you, you saved me from a stay in jail! 

Anyway, closing at the end of October, Ill pm you and talk more! Missed you Mr Cool Guy, lol! Love you!

 

[rosealso]

Hi Heavenlee! Good to see yer back ! Also to hear you doing better,! Ive been off the grid too , many med issues. Can you believe it, had the mumps at my age!? Lol! Tuff on old folks , lol. Look forward to hearing more from u! 

 

[Kalsima]

@rosealso you’ve got to be kidding, I thought the mumps were really dangerous for adults! You poor thing! It’s been a tough year hitting menopause took everything out of me, why do women have to go through all the pain off childbirth then menopause while guys just get great orgasms! I call bullshit on it, not fair! Good to see you too!

 

[Darlink]

@Heavenleesounds like you’ve really had a tough summer. Good thing you’re with people who love you and keeping your hope and faith. Wishing you the best with your new house; just moved into a new build and it’s not near the water but it’s nice enough and I can work from home. Getting my office set up. Moving is traumatic and cathartic at the same time. All the crap one must go through to change everything over but a new, fresh start is maybe what was needed? I think for me, it’s working. Good luck with your fresh start!

 

[Kalsima]

@Darlink yes it’s been a sucky year, but thanks again for your kind words! My hospital stays and all these referrals are only half of all my stuff for appointments and imaging and xrays, but I believe I am at the end, I won’t be at the closing of my house because they moved my gallbladder surgery up to next  week. And thank god I have orders not to lift, and my husband is too old to pack and move,  so we hired movers and a junk removal service! But I am so looking forward to have the surgery and get out of here! I hope that this will be the end although my liver has to be scanned with that elastogram and blood work for the rest of my life but hell I feel like I have no one else to blame because of my injecting dangerous street drugs! Who knows what they put in that crap! But I am grateful that I haven’t used for almost 3 years. God that reminds me I need to start drinking lots of water, I have to have blood work done before my surgery and I feel like a human pin cussion. I am more afraid of getting blood drawn or getting an iv in me than the actual surgery! Thanks again sweetie, ~H

 

[Jjay]

Oh my, I didn't know you were dealing with so much. So glad you're feeling well enough to get back and post!