Hello everyone,
Hope all is well and well is obtainable for you all.
As this is my first post I wanted to give a little back gound on my self and also looking for some input.
Last year I was hospitalized because of a suicide attempt. It was my second time with a real attempt last one being five years ago but was not hospitalize or even let anyone know about it. This time with being hospitalize I was educated and learned that my feelings are not normal or healthy. Right out of the hospital I was put into a 2 week program for people with mental disabilitys. Through out this class I learned I have been suffering with anxiety and depression. I found the class to be very helpfull by teaching coping skills and educating and providing many resorces for help. Coping skills did seem to help but all proved to be very temporary and lost there helping effect soon after I was done with the two weeks of classes.
Now a slight backtrack, out of the hospital I was prescribed @bilify and tr@zodone. First little hiccup I was told to take them at opposite times @bil at night traz in the morning. When I complained about feeling drowsy during the day in classes I soon found out traz for night. In the program I meet with a in house doctor every 2-3 days. I continued to take the meds the doc even raised Abil to two times a day. Later found out im in the small % that cannot take that drug due to a terrible side effect. I was experiencing bad muscle spasms throughout my body and mostly in my legs. It got so bad I was unable to take sitting though class and couldn't even sleep due to the restlessness. It took a few days to blame the @bilify but once the doctor heard about the symptoms he cut the @bilify out.
I was then switched to cl0nidine, cit@l0pram and tr@z0d0ne. With no relife from any anxiety or depresion prior to the change with the previous meds I was only a few days from coming to the end of the classes. After I was done there I noticed my depersion starting to worsen again and I was slipping right back, still suffering panic attacks, racing thoughts and an overall feeling of hopelessness. I never wanted to do anything or even get out of bed.
I was reffured to an outpatient program by my counslor from the classes. There I was able to meet with someone once a week. I expressed to her that my meds didnt seem to be doing anything. She told me to request a med eval so I did. I was able to meet with another doctor and she switched my meds up to Flu0xetine, hydr0xyine and tr@z0d0ne. Still...no relife. I still have bad anxiety and depression. Its been a long road with countless mettings and the meds im perscribed do nothing for ky symptoms but make me drowsy. I have no pull to even get out of bed, I have a had a hard time even engaging in conversation and feel very antisocial. The list goes on and im sure many here know how bad this can feel when you know its not how people should feel or go through life.
I have been reading about different meds and how they can help with anxiety. I also remembered a few classmates chatting about how there med was giving them a great feeling of wellness and peace. I couldnt remember what med they said it was but I cam across the name @tiv@nt and it rung a bell. Thats when I noticed a class of meds called benz0s. Most of these benz0s seem to help a heap with anxiety illnesses. Tho I have never been perscribed a benz0 many reviews explain the feeling to help with social interaction and a felling of euphoria or a better feeling of wellbeing. Now two years ago I was in an accident, broke 3 ribs, fracturee vertebrae and broken collar bone. I was perscribed a small script of 0xyc0dine and I can remember them giving me a small feeling of the above. Now what im feeling is if these benz0s can help me so much with my conditions why havent I been perscribed them? How would I ever get there? I cant outrite ask these doctors for known meds thats are known to be addictive and abused without looking like a junky. Im just lost as what to do for moving foward and becoming even sligntly relifed lf thks terrible grip of this sickness iv been suffering. Ima stop here as it feels like iv been writing to much. There are many more details to this story and my past. I guess one to share is I strugled with alcohol and w33d for years. It clear now I was only self medicating to help a sickness I didnt even know I had. Proud to say iv been dry for 3 years but also feel like now its all caving in on me without any help.
Hope all is well and well is obtainable for you all.
As this is my first post I wanted to give a little back gound on my self and also looking for some input.
Last year I was hospitalized because of a suicide attempt. It was my second time with a real attempt last one being five years ago but was not hospitalize or even let anyone know about it. This time with being hospitalize I was educated and learned that my feelings are not normal or healthy. Right out of the hospital I was put into a 2 week program for people with mental disabilitys. Through out this class I learned I have been suffering with anxiety and depression. I found the class to be very helpfull by teaching coping skills and educating and providing many resorces for help. Coping skills did seem to help but all proved to be very temporary and lost there helping effect soon after I was done with the two weeks of classes.
Now a slight backtrack, out of the hospital I was prescribed @bilify and tr@zodone. First little hiccup I was told to take them at opposite times @bil at night traz in the morning. When I complained about feeling drowsy during the day in classes I soon found out traz for night. In the program I meet with a in house doctor every 2-3 days. I continued to take the meds the doc even raised Abil to two times a day. Later found out im in the small % that cannot take that drug due to a terrible side effect. I was experiencing bad muscle spasms throughout my body and mostly in my legs. It got so bad I was unable to take sitting though class and couldn't even sleep due to the restlessness. It took a few days to blame the @bilify but once the doctor heard about the symptoms he cut the @bilify out.
I was then switched to cl0nidine, cit@l0pram and tr@z0d0ne. With no relife from any anxiety or depresion prior to the change with the previous meds I was only a few days from coming to the end of the classes. After I was done there I noticed my depersion starting to worsen again and I was slipping right back, still suffering panic attacks, racing thoughts and an overall feeling of hopelessness. I never wanted to do anything or even get out of bed.
I was reffured to an outpatient program by my counslor from the classes. There I was able to meet with someone once a week. I expressed to her that my meds didnt seem to be doing anything. She told me to request a med eval so I did. I was able to meet with another doctor and she switched my meds up to Flu0xetine, hydr0xyine and tr@z0d0ne. Still...no relife. I still have bad anxiety and depression. Its been a long road with countless mettings and the meds im perscribed do nothing for ky symptoms but make me drowsy. I have no pull to even get out of bed, I have a had a hard time even engaging in conversation and feel very antisocial. The list goes on and im sure many here know how bad this can feel when you know its not how people should feel or go through life.
I have been reading about different meds and how they can help with anxiety. I also remembered a few classmates chatting about how there med was giving them a great feeling of wellness and peace. I couldnt remember what med they said it was but I cam across the name @tiv@nt and it rung a bell. Thats when I noticed a class of meds called benz0s. Most of these benz0s seem to help a heap with anxiety illnesses. Tho I have never been perscribed a benz0 many reviews explain the feeling to help with social interaction and a felling of euphoria or a better feeling of wellbeing. Now two years ago I was in an accident, broke 3 ribs, fracturee vertebrae and broken collar bone. I was perscribed a small script of 0xyc0dine and I can remember them giving me a small feeling of the above. Now what im feeling is if these benz0s can help me so much with my conditions why havent I been perscribed them? How would I ever get there? I cant outrite ask these doctors for known meds thats are known to be addictive and abused without looking like a junky. Im just lost as what to do for moving foward and becoming even sligntly relifed lf thks terrible grip of this sickness iv been suffering. Ima stop here as it feels like iv been writing to much. There are many more details to this story and my past. I guess one to share is I strugled with alcohol and w33d for years. It clear now I was only self medicating to help a sickness I didnt even know I had. Proud to say iv been dry for 3 years but also feel like now its all caving in on me without any help.
