Some How Wasent Paying Attention And Lost My Fiance

[freesmok]

Came home to nothing the other day but a note telling me I got the boot......If anything I can say im very confused........Id probally try to undo this but she changed her #.........Definetly the strangest thing thats ever happened.....This might be a bad dream or a really bad life experience........I guess all I can say is WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!..........I gotta remember to stay away from girls fresh outta rehab and no,I dont believe you can change people that need meds for things out of your control.......sorry for blabbing on

 

[RainyDayPeacefulMind]

OMG I am really sorry to hear this. God always knows whats best for us though, and I know this means he just has somebody better for your life. You may not see it now but everything always comes together in the end.. At least she saved you any more heart ache. 

 

[The Shattered Soldier]

Came home to nothing the other day but a note telling me I got the boot......If anything I can say im very confused........Id probally try to undo this but she changed her #.........Definetly the strangest thing thats ever happened.....This might be a bad dream or a really bad life experience........I guess all I can say is WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!..........I gotta remember to stay away from girls fresh outta rehab and no,I dont believe you can change people that need meds for things out of your control.......sorry for blabbing on

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.  It has to be gut wrenchingly frustrating to have soembody just up and disappear on you like that.  I couldn't imagine having the emotional capacity to deal with such a situation, it must be extremely hard for you to hold it together right now.  The only advice I can give you based on what you've written is to try not to dive into the substances too hard over this and keep a clear head.  As for blabbing on, there's no need to apologize, there are some of us here who can read pages of venting and ranting.  This isn't your typical drug forum, we're here to help and support you if you need it.  Please keep us updated on the situation.  Until then, you'll be in my thoughts.

 

[High Tide]

I stayed with my wife about 12 yrs and she has serious MH problems. I'd get a call at work asking if I would bring her clothes so she could check in,  and some Chinese food too. The first few times I was too caring I suppose, bringing chocolate covered strawberries and hoping things would mend quick. 

So while working 12-14 hours I'd need to keep the house clean and take food, flowers and cards to her. 

I don't really even want to talk about how used I felt seeing her joking with others in the ward, then turning sullen an depressed after she saw I was there with her food and other things. I never did anything but try to help her, looking back I guess my drive made me think our roll in the hay was good for both of us. I even offered to move or let her move if I was causing her problems. While off on workmen's comp I didn't see where it might hurt to let her have some fun on vacation. Then weeks later she confessed to spending time with an illegal. I just wished he had offered to take her with him, but I would have been worried about her even then, so things worked out for the best.

 

[SwedishChef1977]

Homie we got this ....I'm down the road u no I just went through the same BS but my girl went lezbo ,u need to talk u got my #### ..In the meantime lets get this ball rolling....keep ur head up my man c u soon ...pzzzzzzz

 

[freesmok]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.  It has to be gut wrenchingly frustrating to have soembody just up and disappear on you like that.  I couldn't imagine having the emotional capacity to deal with such a situation, it must be extremely hard for you to hold it together right now.  The only advice I can give you based on what you've written is to try not to dive into the substances too hard over this and keep a clear head.  As for blabbing on, there's no need to apologize, there are some of us here who can read pages of venting and ranting.  This isn't your typical drug forum, we're here to help and support you if you need it.  Please keep us updated on the situation.  Until then, you'll be in my thoughts.

thanks for the support.........it definetly sucks but im old enough not to get too effd up.........shes an10 year ex-marine , combat vet with pdsd and i just wish i made her go to Vets Hospital........I feel so sorry all the Vets in this country ...cause nobody gets it but them........I watched her everytime  shee got really stressed she'd go bonkers and push the people that really cared about her away....namly me.......and id try to just be supportive and deal with it....but i shoulda made her go.      In my long life of substance my only regret is this!!

 

[freesmok]

If anybody has combat vets in there family or have a loved one who is realize that pdsd is a serious thing and nobody understands what our vets have been thru except other vets......just watch for little signs....it might be huge and wild at first but even tho they might calm down it never really goes away.....Now im 100% not qualified to say anything about anything,but all I know are the things she told me late at night when me and her would just talk.........all im sayin is take care of our vets.....especially combat vet.......thanks for the support everybody

 

[freesmok]

Homie we got this ....I'm down the road u no I just went through the same BS but my girl went lezbo ,u need to talk u got my #### ..In the meantime lets get this ball rolling....keep ur head up my man c u soon ...pzzzzzzz

hopefully ill see you later

 

[High Tide]

I couldn't agree more. My dad was a career soldier and coped with his demons via alcohol. Back then PTSD wasn't even a medical diagnosis as far as I know. But it's only common sense to know how combat can affect people, some being able to cope and apparently others not even suffering. 

Having been the victim of an attempted assassination I know the terror life threatening situations can cause. To make it even worse was my life was worth less than free frozen chicken my subordinates had been able to steal beforehand. Talk about making someone feel worthless! At least I was lucky they had spent the circa 200k (in wholesale value) they had already taken and they had to get a couple of really stupid and cheap guys to try and do the job. 

But that's a long and complicated story I only bring up to point out that PTSD is something that I personally know can cause serious problems in peoples lives. My incident occurred over over a decade ago and still causes nightmares, although thankfully they lessen over time. I can't even imagine what people who have to spend years under stress have to deal with after the effect one 15 minute span of terror had on me. 

 

[Raphael3289]

Hey there I'm really sorry about your situation man, that just straight up sux! Same thing kinda happened to me not too long ago the only diffrence was that I am the army vet with the PTSD, I got diagnosed with it after my 3rd deployment, an it's a horrible thing that I just have to struggle with for the rest of my life! But anyways I'm really sorry bud and I'm sure everything will work out for ya in the long run

 

[freesmok]

Hey there I'm really sorry about your situation man, that just straight up sux! Same thing kinda happened to me not too long ago the only diffrence was that I am the army vet with the PTSD, I got diagnosed with it after my 3rd deployment, an it's a horrible thing that I just have to struggle with for the rest of my life! But anyways I'm really sorry bud and I'm sure everything will work out for ya in the long run

My man Raph......she had 3 deployments also and she was my little italon  marine bombshell who I was so proud of for being a vet too..........the badest chick i ever met and my best friend ever too.....but every 9 months or so things would go kinda haywire and the other her would come out..........and Raph Im proud of you and all the other combat vets in our country who have had to deal with with war and lay there there lives o n the line for all of us every day.............Im sorry youve had struggles and like I said ....know  that all the vets in this country are appreciated and  respected ......for everything uv had to deal with.........thats just a little somthin Raph i want you and everyone to know how I feel about it.............As far as my girl  goes Ill live but this even tho i told her everyday she was perfect she never believed me and i could usally tell when she was gonna lose it and I shoulda pushed harder for her to go to the doc..........but i dropped the ball bad this time but like i said,ill live........i honestly worry about her far more then i do about myself..........ahhhh well the glass is half full,so in the end as long as shes ok somewhere im good.........I always bounce back

 

[freesmok]

I couldn't agree more. My dad was a career soldier and coped with his demons via alcohol. Back then PTSD wasn't even a medical diagnosis as far as I know. But it's only common sense to know how combat can affect people, some being able to cope and apparently others not even suffering. 

Having been the victim of an attempted assassination I know the terror life threatening situations can cause. To make it even worse was my life was worth less than free frozen chicken my subordinates had been able to steal beforehand. Talk about making someone feel worthless! At least I was lucky they had spent the circa 200k (in wholesale value) they had already taken and they had to get a couple of really stupid and cheap guys to try and do the job. 

But that's a long and complicated story I only bring up to point out that PTSD is something that I personally know can cause serious problems in peoples lives. My incident occurred over over a decade ago and still causes nightmares, although thankfully they lessen over time. I can't even imagine what people who have to spend years under stress have to deal with after the effect one 15 minute span of terror had on me. 

We were together for 4 years and she has a son I basically raised,..............PDSD affects alot of lives thats kinda why I wrote this post......Just so people who dont know about it can realize the severity........

 

[freesmok]

Once again thanks everyone thanks for the support,....I consider alot of you guys actual friends and I think this is a very special forum has alot good people in it.......I appreciate everyone for even posting    thanks again

 

[brightnail]

Wow, you have a really big heart freesmok. She left without notice, and all I'm hearing is compassion and worry for her when you talk about it. You're a good man, and hopefully she will get the help she needs and the two of you can remain best friends, even if you don't stay romantic partners. I wish both of you strength and health!

 

[High Tide]

brightnail... Well said my friend. But she is having problems that people don't like to admit they have because of the stigmatizing we put on the phrase mental health problems. They are real and as dangerous as any other. She is fortunate to have a good person who is looking out for her well being.

All the best to you and her in getting this under control so y'all can enjoy the love you so obviously have for her. It may not be clear to her atm but if she gets the help needed she will look back later and realize how much she meant to you, and will feel the same about you. Then the two of you shall live happily ever after.  /default_smile.png 

 

[SwedishChef1977]

@freesmok Saw Ya woooo hoooooo ......Good looking Homie

 

[freesmok]

Wow, you have a really big heart freesmok. She left without notice, and all I'm hearing is compassion and worry for her when you talk about it. You're a good man, and hopefully she will get the help she needs and the two of you can remain best friends, even if you don't stay romantic partners. I wish both of you strength and health!

Its cause that chick was my whole world..........we had an on and off 4 years and then she tooka year of non stop trust building with me and 9 months in she relayed a message telling me she never wanted to speak to me again and we literally NEVER fought...ever the reason im still compassionate is 1 she the only person i cared more about her then myself and I feel a great deal of responsibility for not helping her the right..way....meaning i would spend money,... every pair air max and uggs 2pandora bracelets both filled....anyway,.....i made the mistake of try to buy the help she needed instead  making her talk to people that knew how she felt........I hope she comes around agin too......either way i hope shes ok no matter what.......she changed her # the day she moved ....its all things I have no control over............honestly she'll prob turn up in a couple month afterdoing somthin crazy..........Its hard to be mad when u really love sombody and its not there fault........but thank you for the kind words and the support

 

[freesmok]

brightnail... Well said my friend. But she is having problems that people don't like to admit they have because of the stigmatizing we put on the phrase mental health problems. They are real and as dangerous as any other. She is fortunate to have a good person who is looking out for her well being.

All the best to you and her in getting this under control so y'all can enjoy the love you so obviously have for her. It may not be clear to her atm but if she gets the help needed she will look back later and realize how much she meant to you, and will feel the same about you. Then the two of you shall live happily ever after.   /default_smile.png

your 100% right........it sucks right now but hopefully she pops back up soon........she usally gets in trouble without me but im def no angel but as long as shes safe...thanks again

 

[Guest]

I'm sorry freesmok! Its obvious you care a lot about her. Hopefully she is well and working on herself. Maybe she will contact you at some point to give you some answers/explanations.