Suburban Speedball - full recipe

[Roxyanne]

I've perfected this recipe over many years as an opiate enthusiast.  Bon appetit!

Ingredients:

• high quality, whole coffee beans (if still using Folgers, re-examine your life)
  
• Heavy cream or half & half
  
• 4oz grapefruit juice / 4oz cold water
  
• 7.5mg hydr0 or 5mg oxi  (weekday dose)  *may substitute 2-3 grams of kratom when stash is depleted
  

************************

1. Immediately upon waking, stumble into kitchen and mix 4oz water and 4oz grapefruit juice.   Drink half the glass while prepping coffee (to lubricate throat, stimulate digestive enzymes, and maximize blood opiate levels by inhibiting Cyt.P450)
   
2. Grind beans and scoop about 2-3Tbs into a french press (you want it strong)
   
3. boil water.  When it reaches a rolling boil, remove from heat and wait 15 seconds. Fill french press to desired level. brew 4 min, stirring twice.
   
4. While brewing, take hydro/perc and chase with remaining water/juice blend
   
5. Pour coffee into large mug.  Add 1/4 cup cream (don't skip this step - a small amount of fat is neccessary for maximum opi absorption)
   
6. Consume coffee while getting ready for work.
   
7. HAVE A JOLLY GOOD DAY
   

 

[SleepyMonkey]

@Roxyanne I like your style!

 

[Ipon]

This brought a smile to my face. Thanks! 

 

[Marshmallowmayhem]

“If still using Folgers, re-examine your life” LMFAO! Very unique recipe. The first I’ve seen where opiates are used.  Great post

 

[MJB]

I've perfected this recipe over many years as an opiate enthusiast.  Bon appetit!

Ingredients:

• high quality, whole coffee beans (if still using Folgers, re-examine your life)
  
• Heavy cream or half & half
  
• 4oz grapefruit juice / 4oz cold water
  
• 7.5mg hydr0 or 5mg oxi  (weekday dose)  *may substitute 2-3 grams of kratom when stash is depleted
  

************************

1. Immediately upon waking, stumble into kitchen and mix 4oz water and 4oz grapefruit juice.   Drink half the glass while prepping coffee (to lubricate throat, stimulate digestive enzymes, and maximize blood opiate levels by inhibiting Cyt.P450)
   
2. Grind beans and scoop about 2-3Tbs into a french press (you want it strong)
   
3. boil water.  When it reaches a rolling boil, remove from heat and wait 15 seconds. Fill french press to desired level. brew 4 min, stirring twice.
   
4. While brewing, take hydro/perc and chase with remaining water/juice blend
   
5. Pour coffee into large mug.  Add 1/4 cup cream (don't skip this step - a small amount of fat is neccessary for maximum opi absorption)
   
6. Consume coffee while getting ready for work.
   
7. HAVE A JOLLY GOOD DAY
   

View attachment 2666

Badass!!  Thanks!  Didn’t know the fat was good for absorbing the opeys. Maybe that’s why I like cream in my afternoon coffee?  

 

[Conceited]

That's a sophisticated way to take your meds. But eat or drink something fatty 15min after taken something opi related works better then not having something fatty or even a light snack. I always find i get a better results that way and feel good for it. I like the art haha  @Roxyanne

 

[Djames]

Great stuff! Will try when tolerance is low enough to feel Kratom. Might substitute cream/milk with butter and use an immersion blender for smooth texture