B
Back2Good
Guest
So, my trustworthy, reliable, friendly supplier of my 50mg generic pills of love (Vi@gra, of course, not the Bill Cosby kind), a fellow I've made countless transactions with over the past 6 years, did his usual stellar job of getting the letter to the US from Asia in 5 days, and through Customs like greased lightning, less than an hour. The next day it is at my distribution center, and the following morning it's out for delivery to my home...Where no one is present to sign for it, so a pink slip is left. Not a problem, I just go to the USPS website and request a re-delivery - Which turns out to be a problem, as no one at the local carrier facility can find the letter. Of course they don't tell ME that, they simply don't redeliver - And it is now a Saturday at 1300 hours, so the carrier facility is closed, can't call them until Monday. When I do get around to calling them on Monday, the postmaster there (a nice fellow, Vietnam veteran, retired army, with a nice civil service job to coast into retirement on - We know each other in passing from the VFW bar and the occasions I've had to pick up orders of live chickens at the counter), assured me he'd look into it.
Around 1600 hours today (the mail had already run, around 1300 hours or so, again no letter), there's a knock at the door, and when I open it there stands our carrier, alongside the postmaster, who is holding my letter. Convinced I'm about to be dragged off in chains (it's a 240 tablet order), instead, the postmaster hands me the package and tells the carrier "What did we discuss?"
"Sir," she says, "I am to look under, next to, and behind the seats of my delivery vehicle when I return from my route, and if I find anything I'm to immediately deliver it to the addressee, not wait until the following day."
The postmaster looks at me and winks, then he says "Sorry about that, Colonel b2g (army Lieutenant Colonels are often called "Colonel", as it is easier to say than "Lieutenant Colonel" - I retired as a Lieutenant Colonel, don't want anyone here thinking I was an actual full bull 0-6 Colonel...). USPS doesn't exactly have what you could call 'Basic Training', but I don't think this problem will happen again. See you at the VFW Thursday, sir."
After a few minutes the humor of it all hit me, and I laughed maniacally. The wife came running to see what was on, and when I shook the letter at her and told her "The things I do to satisfy you, woman", she blushed, frowned, and then said "Well thank God the damn things are finally here."
Around 1600 hours today (the mail had already run, around 1300 hours or so, again no letter), there's a knock at the door, and when I open it there stands our carrier, alongside the postmaster, who is holding my letter. Convinced I'm about to be dragged off in chains (it's a 240 tablet order), instead, the postmaster hands me the package and tells the carrier "What did we discuss?"
"Sir," she says, "I am to look under, next to, and behind the seats of my delivery vehicle when I return from my route, and if I find anything I'm to immediately deliver it to the addressee, not wait until the following day."
The postmaster looks at me and winks, then he says "Sorry about that, Colonel b2g (army Lieutenant Colonels are often called "Colonel", as it is easier to say than "Lieutenant Colonel" - I retired as a Lieutenant Colonel, don't want anyone here thinking I was an actual full bull 0-6 Colonel...). USPS doesn't exactly have what you could call 'Basic Training', but I don't think this problem will happen again. See you at the VFW Thursday, sir."
After a few minutes the humor of it all hit me, and I laughed maniacally. The wife came running to see what was on, and when I shook the letter at her and told her "The things I do to satisfy you, woman", she blushed, frowned, and then said "Well thank God the damn things are finally here."
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