Stepping down as manager

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Kinglouie

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Joined
Nov 15, 2016
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23
I was promoted to my first manager position last year and it is not at all what I expected. Im getting so stressed that I have been considering stepping down from the position. 

Before my promotion I was on the same level as my coworkers. I also would consider most of them my friends. But now these relationships are strained. I am trying to separate my work life and my personal relationships but its taking a toll on me.  I am constantly getting the feeling that they are talking about me when im not around. I am finding myself sacrificing company standards because i do not want awkward tension between us. 

Im concerned that if I step down from management  they will never give me the opportunity again.  Has anyone ever been in this position?  I am so torn on what I should do that I've been stuck in limbo this past month...  i have been doing the job, but not nearly as good as i would like to be doing. 

Help me

 
Unfortunately it's difficult to be both a boss and a friend,  ideally the managerial position would have been at another location if possible. It's also more difficult to be impartial. If you want to keep this post, then you may well have to cut some ties with your former colleagues. 

 
I had this same situation arise a good number of years ago. @PTFC  named the cure. I was lucky the Company I worked in was large enough & had over 50 Locations in our metro area. I had to drive an extra 20 miles 10 each way. That was worth the tension, anxiety & general piece of mind I was able to have restored. The people I had worked w/ then managed only 2 or 3 of say 15 actually behaved the same as it was when we were all the same pay grade. RXPRO-

 
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. its much appreciated.

@PTFC  I was told when I was offered the job that they usually promote managers to a new location but they felt I would have an easier time adjusting because im already at the slowest store.  I didn't realize how much different the atmosphere would become  

@rxpro I too am at a large company with around the same amount of locations.  I have been asking for a transfer to another location the last couple months and They kept blowing me off and delaying.  Finally, I decided I would be better off stepping down as the stress and anxiety had been tearing me up inside.  Unfortunately, I was told that our area was already short managers but that they would look into it.  

A few weeks later I approached them again but had gotten the same response. This time  they gave me a pep talk and just kept telling me i could do it and id be fine. 

At this point I thought about looking for another job but I invested over 6 years with the company and was also afraid of the change.  So I just kept working each day... stressed, unhappy, and with no motivation.  Finally, just last week I hit my breaking point...  I quietly, without a "scene", walked out halfway into my shift.  I was already mentally checked out for weeks and I just couldn't take it. 

I feel irresponsible...  but i also feel free. Like the world was just taken off of my shoulders.  I already hit the pavement and have a couple interviews lined up and Im excited for a new chapter to begin.  

Thank you for listening. It means much more to me than you realize. 

 
Kinglouie said:
I was promoted to my first manager position last year and it is not at all what I expected. Im getting so stressed that I have been considering stepping down from the position. 

Before my promotion I was on the same level as my coworkers. I also would consider most of them my friends. But now these relationships are strained. I am trying to separate my work life and my personal relationships but its taking a toll on me.  I am constantly getting the feeling that they are talking about me when im not around. I am finding myself sacrificing company standards because i do not want awkward tension between us. 

Im concerned that if I step down from management  they will never give me the opportunity again.  Has anyone ever been in this position?  I am so torn on what I should do that I've been stuck in limbo this past month...  i have been doing the job, but not nearly as good as i would like to be doing. 

Help me
Click to expand...
It's next to impossible to keep work friends as friends if you become their boss. They will take advantage of you any chance they get. Some will not take you seriously until you show them consequences for their insubordination. It's a VERY hard spot to be in. And the decision is yours yo make. You have to decide what's more important, your career or some people you became friends with at work.

 
Managing isnt all its cracked up to be. I managed a Kay Jewelers for 5 years. I enjoyed myself a lot more when I was just a sales associate. 

 
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  1. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda I was under the impression that you'd need all of the points to get a real ID . I'd check it's validity if you're gonna fly domestic any time soon, just to make sure. Not to tell you what to do, sorry -
  2. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda I was under the impression that you'd need all of the points to get a real ID . I'd check it's validity if you're gonna fly domestic any time soon, just to make sure. Not to tell you what to do, sorry -
  3. B @ bigblueallda: @drjimmy1964 In my state to get a Real ID, I need SS card, Birth Certificate and two proofs of residency. Which I am positive I had to provide to get a new ID when it had been expired.
  4. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
  5. B @ bigblueallda: I haven't flown in an airplane in 20 years lol. Can't recall the last government building I have been in either. According to the symbol it tells me I should have on my ID to make it a Real ID I do have one in my state
  6. Gracie5 @ Gracie5: Hey @CuCeltic99!
  7. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
  8. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  9. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  10. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  11. S @ soupson: did anyone ask about real id or is sweet ol jimmy just rambling
  12. T @ Turbo259: @drjimmy1964 what did you mean by advertise? not gettin the verbiage, DM works if anything, just didnt understand
  13. B @ bigblueallda: {Visit your local Driver Service Bureau with the necessary documents: original birth certificate, Social Security card, and two proofs of your state's residency. } I definitely provided this when I had to get a new ID when i let mine go expired too long maybe I unknowingly got one but I think it is pretty standard here.
  14. B @ bigblueallda: Well it was a state id renewal. Before that there was a mixup and I had lost my birth certficate and social security number. After a couple of weeks and finally getting several documents in order I was able to get a state ID. It had been expired previously for a little too long and they wanted all kinds of proof. It was a mess. But nah I looked up what to look for an my state's ID to see if it is a Real Id or not and my card as the symbol it is supposed to have. I'll take a closer look though
  15. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  16. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Actually it says "Not For Real ID Purposes". That is my 2022 renewal of my 2018 picture ID. I am not due till 2026 and I am sure they will make me go in since my pic would be 8 years old - they used to make you go in in my state for aging when I was younger, then went paper - then back to picture ( I think 9/11 to blame for that ) but relaxed it.
  17. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Wow, for real ? You renewed your DL and without you knowing or having to present documents in person, they did it online? It has the star on top right and says "Rea: ID" Mine says ' NOT A Real ID" . I never knew what a Real ID was and never bothered to ask - I think I somehow was under the impression that it was for either military / gov't workers who had to travel over seas. WRONG lol.
  18. B @ bigblueallda: I already have one and didn't even realize it. I renewed my ID online about 6 months ago and I just looked at it today and it is a Real ID.
  19. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 mine was duped , too. Not sure why or how my msg. duped. IMO that guy if serious and smart wouldn’t advertise with you
  20. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: I wish I had it when I flew to Vegas in 2022. The TSA line for Real ID passengers was short. Now it’s probably going to be crazy .
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