Marshmallowmayhem
Member
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2016
- Messages
- 85
Hello fellow DBG'ers. I've been doing lots of reading and observing. After seeing some of the posts about addiction, I think I have summoned up enough nerve to share my experience. Not everyone's experience is quite the same and I definitely appreicate those who decide to tell us their story I think we all share something in common that gets lost while battling our demons; we are all human.
I used to weigh 300lbs and battled severe depression and obesity from the age of 11 to 29. I definitely ate my emotions; when I was happy I ate, sad, mad, etc. I was on Prozac and Wellbutrin. I researched the gastric bypass and lap band for two years before I finally decided to pursue the gastric bypass. I had to get approved by my insurance company and at the time, approvals were very rare. The surgery was a last ditch effort to save my life. I was at work when I received the call from my insurance company. I was approved! I was beyond elated. I had to jump through six months of hoops. I had just turned 30 years old. April 16, 2010 was my surgery date. My life would never be the same again.
I lost 150lbs in less than two years. I was reborn. I had to make up for lost time. I was treated so poorly by people when I was obese. Now doors were being opened for me figuratively and literally. People smiled at me instead of sneered. Running and working out became my addiction instead of food. I ate to live instead of living to eat. Something, however, was missing. I wanted a real relationship. I was tired of whoring about; sewing my wild oats so-to-speak. I met someone and fell in love. Moved out of my parents house for the first time ever. I was on top of the world.
A couple of years later... Work became much more stressful than ever. I felt a lot of pressure in my relationship. I stopped working out so I could spend more time with her. Bad move, working out was my go to stress reliever. Enter whiskey. I started drinking almost every night. When my girlfriend would protest, I would sneak it and binge drink. I ended up getting wasted one evening and decided to send pics to people on Craigslist, answered a few ads. This was the detriment to an almost three year relationship. She and I ended up moving in with my parents so we could pay off debts and get a house. We had a plan of living there for a year and a half. We were still working on fixing our trust issues I created but it was failing. We broke up and she moved out. My drinking became worse. I was told by a psychiatrist I was bipolar. I was put on some crazy drugs.
Sometime in May 2015, I drank a fifth of whiskey earlier in the morning one day and decided to get a liter. My chaser was water. My tolerance for alcohol was mind blowing. In total, I had killed a fifth, one liter, and I was working on a handle of whiskey when I thought it would be a great idea to get donuts. It was night time. My parents asked me if I had been drinking. I denied it and played it off. Next thing I know, the driver side tires on my battlestang were completely shredded. I had front end damage and my road mauler was smoking. Donuts in hand, I walked home. I went into my room and drank some more. Blacked out. Woke up in the morning, finished my handle. A police officer stopped by the house the night I wrecked my car. He said if he could place me behind the wheel, I would have been charged with DUI. My parents were heartbroken.
My mother went in my room and replaced my alcohol with water. They wanted to talk. They sat me down and my father gave me the same ultimatum he was given when he was younger; your family or alcohol. I was on a plane the next evening headed for rehab. There's more to my story, but I just wanted to share some of it. My binge drinking was out of control. Some consumption of this and that is cool providing one can control it. I am learning.
May 20, 2016 marks my one year of sobriety.
You are all awesome people. Thank you for reading.
I used to weigh 300lbs and battled severe depression and obesity from the age of 11 to 29. I definitely ate my emotions; when I was happy I ate, sad, mad, etc. I was on Prozac and Wellbutrin. I researched the gastric bypass and lap band for two years before I finally decided to pursue the gastric bypass. I had to get approved by my insurance company and at the time, approvals were very rare. The surgery was a last ditch effort to save my life. I was at work when I received the call from my insurance company. I was approved! I was beyond elated. I had to jump through six months of hoops. I had just turned 30 years old. April 16, 2010 was my surgery date. My life would never be the same again.
I lost 150lbs in less than two years. I was reborn. I had to make up for lost time. I was treated so poorly by people when I was obese. Now doors were being opened for me figuratively and literally. People smiled at me instead of sneered. Running and working out became my addiction instead of food. I ate to live instead of living to eat. Something, however, was missing. I wanted a real relationship. I was tired of whoring about; sewing my wild oats so-to-speak. I met someone and fell in love. Moved out of my parents house for the first time ever. I was on top of the world.
A couple of years later... Work became much more stressful than ever. I felt a lot of pressure in my relationship. I stopped working out so I could spend more time with her. Bad move, working out was my go to stress reliever. Enter whiskey. I started drinking almost every night. When my girlfriend would protest, I would sneak it and binge drink. I ended up getting wasted one evening and decided to send pics to people on Craigslist, answered a few ads. This was the detriment to an almost three year relationship. She and I ended up moving in with my parents so we could pay off debts and get a house. We had a plan of living there for a year and a half. We were still working on fixing our trust issues I created but it was failing. We broke up and she moved out. My drinking became worse. I was told by a psychiatrist I was bipolar. I was put on some crazy drugs.
Sometime in May 2015, I drank a fifth of whiskey earlier in the morning one day and decided to get a liter. My chaser was water. My tolerance for alcohol was mind blowing. In total, I had killed a fifth, one liter, and I was working on a handle of whiskey when I thought it would be a great idea to get donuts. It was night time. My parents asked me if I had been drinking. I denied it and played it off. Next thing I know, the driver side tires on my battlestang were completely shredded. I had front end damage and my road mauler was smoking. Donuts in hand, I walked home. I went into my room and drank some more. Blacked out. Woke up in the morning, finished my handle. A police officer stopped by the house the night I wrecked my car. He said if he could place me behind the wheel, I would have been charged with DUI. My parents were heartbroken.
My mother went in my room and replaced my alcohol with water. They wanted to talk. They sat me down and my father gave me the same ultimatum he was given when he was younger; your family or alcohol. I was on a plane the next evening headed for rehab. There's more to my story, but I just wanted to share some of it. My binge drinking was out of control. Some consumption of this and that is cool providing one can control it. I am learning.
May 20, 2016 marks my one year of sobriety.
You are all awesome people. Thank you for reading.
