Another divorce thread

jimfriedrice

jimfriedrice

Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Messages
43
I'm not looking to stay with my wife.  She has a boyfriend and that's that, we're getting divorced.  We both live in the same house and she can't afford to move into her own apartment.  Her boyfriend is too far away to move to, and I don't think he wants a roommate, whatever..  We have two young kids so she needs to stay close.  We'll be divorced within the next 6-8 months I hope, but we'll be roommates for the next year or so, until she can move out.  I have a a gameroom I can convert to a bedroom so no biggie there.  We have a three level house.  Our finances are absolute shit though, which I'm working hard to resolve.

Our plan is to create a new account into which we'll each deposit enough funds to cover the family expenses.  Groceries, utilities, Insurance, etc etc etc.  My current problem is that she is spending money on her fucking boyfriend with our shared account.  [enormous rant excluded] I am defaulting on CCs and other obligations due to this.  I want to separate our finances so she can maintain her share of the household (she makes about 60k, I make about 50k.  boston is expensive btw!) while maintaining her stupid lifestyle in whichever way she would like.  We'll divide our assets and debts equally.  

So my problem and quandary is, if she can't contribute enough to pay for the gas bill for example, and they threaten to shut off the gas then what?  Use our life insurance as another example, as I realize there are legal implications to shutting off gas to a customer.  Or if she can't contribute her half to summer camp.  Etc..... 

I should explain that we're planning an uncontested divorce, where we use a single lawyer as a mediator, so that we can save tens of thousands of dollars, because we are about 99% on the same page in regards to this separation.  But her irresponsibility is troubling.  

I dunno, is there a better way to do the fiscal separation?  I want to do this ASAP, before the courts are ready to rule on our divorce.  Because she is killing me, I just learned today about her paying $250 in March to rent him a car, and meanwhile we can barely pay our bills.  I imagine this is the tip of the iceburg, and isn't the first time she's used my money to pay for her boyfriend's shit.  I usually leave the monthly fiscal management to her so I'm just learning about this stuff.  Stupid on me, I know.

I live in MA btw.  I'm a man, and a confirmed, trying to reform, and often failing alcoholic.  If this became a contested divorce, I believe I would be fucked right up the ass due to the aforementioned facts.  

Any advice is appreciated.

-bob

 
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  1. N @ NYStateofMind: who is doing deals for new custos
  2. N @ NYStateofMind: my face has freckles
  3. xenxra @ xenxra: Mesh on my face 'cause I'm faceless
  4. P @ psychedpsych: Have good day people, and I hate texting messages lol
  5. B @ bigblueallda: @drjimmy1964 lol I am actually surprised it is a real ID. I needed those documents because my license had been expired for over a year and I had to start all over. Nothing was in the system. It was a huge mess. I had no clue I was signing up for Real ID. They asked me for the exact same documents that I needed for a State ID Card.
  6. S @ soupson: bless your heart buddy. no sense of grammar or proper insults/jokes. you need this place in ways i can’t comprehend
  7. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Sweet Ol' Me asked about Real ID, Stoup. Are you responsive to emails ? LMAO
  8. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: I smell some Stoup. Is Stoup's on ?
  9. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda You win. I am lost. Thought you were surprised your license was a Real ID, now you say you provided those items.
  10. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda I was under the impression that you'd need all of the points to get a real ID . I'd check it's validity if you're gonna fly domestic any time soon, just to make sure. Not to tell you what to do, sorry -
  11. B @ bigblueallda: @drjimmy1964 In my state to get a Real ID, I need SS card, Birth Certificate and two proofs of residency. Which I am positive I had to provide to get a new ID when it had been expired.
  12. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
  13. B @ bigblueallda: I haven't flown in an airplane in 20 years lol. Can't recall the last government building I have been in either. According to the symbol it tells me I should have on my ID to make it a Real ID I do have one in my state
  14. Gracie5 @ Gracie5: Hey @CuCeltic99!
  15. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
  16. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  17. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  18. S @ soupson: did anyone ask about real id or is sweet ol jimmy just rambling
  19. T @ Turbo259: @drjimmy1964 what did you mean by advertise? not gettin the verbiage, DM works if anything, just didnt understand
  20. B @ bigblueallda: {Visit your local Driver Service Bureau with the necessary documents: original birth certificate, Social Security card, and two proofs of your state's residency. } I definitely provided this when I had to get a new ID when i let mine go expired too long maybe I unknowingly got one but I think it is pretty standard here.
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