jimfriedrice
Member
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2016
- Messages
- 43
I'm not looking to stay with my wife. She has a boyfriend and that's that, we're getting divorced. We both live in the same house and she can't afford to move into her own apartment. Her boyfriend is too far away to move to, and I don't think he wants a roommate, whatever.. We have two young kids so she needs to stay close. We'll be divorced within the next 6-8 months I hope, but we'll be roommates for the next year or so, until she can move out. I have a a gameroom I can convert to a bedroom so no biggie there. We have a three level house. Our finances are absolute shit though, which I'm working hard to resolve.
Our plan is to create a new account into which we'll each deposit enough funds to cover the family expenses. Groceries, utilities, Insurance, etc etc etc. My current problem is that she is spending money on her fucking boyfriend with our shared account. [enormous rant excluded] I am defaulting on CCs and other obligations due to this. I want to separate our finances so she can maintain her share of the household (she makes about 60k, I make about 50k. boston is expensive btw!) while maintaining her stupid lifestyle in whichever way she would like. We'll divide our assets and debts equally.
So my problem and quandary is, if she can't contribute enough to pay for the gas bill for example, and they threaten to shut off the gas then what? Use our life insurance as another example, as I realize there are legal implications to shutting off gas to a customer. Or if she can't contribute her half to summer camp. Etc.....
I should explain that we're planning an uncontested divorce, where we use a single lawyer as a mediator, so that we can save tens of thousands of dollars, because we are about 99% on the same page in regards to this separation. But her irresponsibility is troubling.
I dunno, is there a better way to do the fiscal separation? I want to do this ASAP, before the courts are ready to rule on our divorce. Because she is killing me, I just learned today about her paying $250 in March to rent him a car, and meanwhile we can barely pay our bills. I imagine this is the tip of the iceburg, and isn't the first time she's used my money to pay for her boyfriend's shit. I usually leave the monthly fiscal management to her so I'm just learning about this stuff. Stupid on me, I know.
I live in MA btw. I'm a man, and a confirmed, trying to reform, and often failing alcoholic. If this became a contested divorce, I believe I would be fucked right up the ass due to the aforementioned facts.
Any advice is appreciated.
-bob
Our plan is to create a new account into which we'll each deposit enough funds to cover the family expenses. Groceries, utilities, Insurance, etc etc etc. My current problem is that she is spending money on her fucking boyfriend with our shared account. [enormous rant excluded] I am defaulting on CCs and other obligations due to this. I want to separate our finances so she can maintain her share of the household (she makes about 60k, I make about 50k. boston is expensive btw!) while maintaining her stupid lifestyle in whichever way she would like. We'll divide our assets and debts equally.
So my problem and quandary is, if she can't contribute enough to pay for the gas bill for example, and they threaten to shut off the gas then what? Use our life insurance as another example, as I realize there are legal implications to shutting off gas to a customer. Or if she can't contribute her half to summer camp. Etc.....
I should explain that we're planning an uncontested divorce, where we use a single lawyer as a mediator, so that we can save tens of thousands of dollars, because we are about 99% on the same page in regards to this separation. But her irresponsibility is troubling.
I dunno, is there a better way to do the fiscal separation? I want to do this ASAP, before the courts are ready to rule on our divorce. Because she is killing me, I just learned today about her paying $250 in March to rent him a car, and meanwhile we can barely pay our bills. I imagine this is the tip of the iceburg, and isn't the first time she's used my money to pay for her boyfriend's shit. I usually leave the monthly fiscal management to her so I'm just learning about this stuff. Stupid on me, I know.
I live in MA btw. I'm a man, and a confirmed, trying to reform, and often failing alcoholic. If this became a contested divorce, I believe I would be fucked right up the ass due to the aforementioned facts.
Any advice is appreciated.
-bob
