Any advice would be helpful. I'm frightened

As a matter of fact, I don't think I'm alone in this community in my willingness to help you get what you need.  Many members have been where you are.  Keep that in mind.

Best wishes.

chctwo

 
Hi  @danny71 wow ! Hang in there . I am half way thru the thread but immediately wanted to post my 27 yr old son is going thru similar things . His doc put him on Prozac too .  I don’t know how to help him :(  but he has literally almost caught houses on fire several times . Leaves burners on .  Oven on with food I. It . His last roommate sent him packing for awhile . He also has stimulant issues . Some of that was going on as well . 
 

his dads side is trying to help him . He is not ready to help himself . He would take like 5 at a time . But he absolutely has anxiety and PSTD issues as well as addiction . Apples and trees ... 

 
As a matter of fact, I don't think I'm alone in this community in my willingness to help you get what you need.  Many members have been where you are.  Keep that in mind.

Best wishes.

chctwo
I can't PM but I have an email I never use.  NOT OK         Mods I hope this os ok.

 
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I think it's disgraceful how people have to almost do battle with these fkin doctors these stories similar to my own are very common why why why does it have to be this way and they wonder why there's such a increase in mental health issues in the last ten years or so some of the drugs the docs will scribe are trippy and in mind make matters worse, but cause there not addictive....  Cause that's ok crazy docs ,and I know they probably following gov guidelines but for god's sake. I feel for all no-one should have to get there own meds but we do what we have to do stay happy as possible all 

 
@danny71 hang in there I know you can do it. I have had the worst two weeks and I am still on benzos just a val at night which will be cut to 3 quarter next month. I had a bad xanax habit and my psychiatrist is helping me get off them. He used klonopin then switched me to valium. I have been clean for over 5 years from pain pills, heroin and coke. But life can be cruel at times and I never wanted to use so badly. Luckily there are great members here that are so supportive. I got on the Rivotrol shot yesterday to keep me clean. That is horrible and dangerous to do to a human being. I feel horrible for you. Just hang in there remember it will pass. It took me at least 3 months to feel normal again. Please don't do what I did and order them. I know I was stressed to the max when I ordered but I will give them to my daughter for safe keeping.  My pug gets a .5 for separation anxiety so I figure instead of throwing away  I will let my daughter keep so I am not tempted. You have made it this far I would hate to see you use again. I have been here forever and without the support of @2earls @PTFC (RIP) @Akup7ich and @Clarissa I could have picked up again.i just wanted you to know I was way worse but you do have a support system here.

You are in my thoughts and prayers  love hev

 
Congratulations on 5 years free from opi@tes, H, and cok3!! I'm at 10 years, but with the help of subut3x. I used H myself, to self medicate my depression, panic attacks, Gad, social anxiety, PTSD and I'm finally feel free from that lifestyle to where an addiction with H causes, but I now also take b3nzos to help with all the anxiety, ect. I never wanted to start another habit, but I couldn't keep living like a hermit. My anxiety was so bad that I couldn't even leave my house. I only went to the sub clinic each month and groceries, if my SO came with me and even those were very hard to do.. I literally had and still have no friends, except through forums and such, no family left and just felt so depressed and alone. I was at the point to where I found myself thinking suicidal thoughts. B3nzo's have been a blessing for me and thanks to DBG and @Moda Man I now have my life back. I have been on benzo's for a little over a year now and I can now leave my house, go out shopping for clothing groceries, ect, rather than online, I can now even say hello to someone and i don't have panic attacks anymore. I know it's going to be scary when the time comes that I have to get off of them. I'm scared to stop them, as I don't want to live like a hermit and be scared for the rest of my life. It seems to me that I'm in a lose/lose situation. Really, I know it's not good to take them forever, but who wants to live when they're anxious, scared, depressed, paranoid and can't even leave their house, plus no friends, for the rest of their life.. I'm very grateful to have b3nzo's as I have tried every med under the sun to help me and nothing makes me feel better, or normal. Most actually made me feel worse. I've tried so many vitamins, supplements and herbs too.. nothing helps enough... I do meditate too, try to stay in a positive mindset and I am a very spiritual person, but even with all my prayers, begging and even crying for help, I found little relief. B3nzo's are the only thing I found in my long journey to just try to find some relief. Relief IS what I found, but I know it won't last forever, so it's a very scary thought for myself, that I can't stay on them forever and will have to eventually go back to living like a hermit and to having no life at all. Anyway.. my heart goes out to you @danny71. I'm going to follow this thread and I pray that you find your relief. Just go slow and stay strong!
 
Awe @sweetmelissa589 you are so sweet! Wow 10 years that's a hell of a milestone. Congratulations!  Thank you for sharing your story. I got clean the old fashion way Jail. I am not a criminal well maybe the state of Ohio thinks I am it was over growing weed. Oh and DUI because I refused the urine test because I had probably drug on the forum in my system.  When I got out and had to do another year of outpatient care I knew I never wanted to go back again. But hell whatever you gets you there. I feel like I am hanging in barely. Thankfully I got the Rivotrol shot but I did abuse zannies. After reading your post by the way I thank you for sharing your story. I do need something for anxiety. I have way too much on my plate. I think my  husband needs to be put in a home. It is exhausting dealing with him I have been staying with my daughter and she is going to Ohio with me to say my goodbyes to my dad. Losing him will kill my soul. My mom abandoned me and my two sisters so he is all I have. So my daughter can keep them for me because my anxiety is through the roof. I have a legal script for  valium but my doctor is detoxing me too quickly.  So I do get extras from Moda And its for sleep not for anxiety. I just need for short term to get me through this before I have a breakdown. I am strong after dealing with my liver problems but there is only so much I can take. I feel like I am living in hell right now. I appreciate you sharing your story and your honesty. It has helped me a lot. I need to give myself a break and use them as prescribed to get me through this. It is so nice to see other members here that are sober or trying to get clean. I actually got a dm from a member asking me why I am on a drug forum if I am trying to get clean! Believe it or not this board and members help me stay clean. 

I really appreciate your help and made a decision to keep because I don't want to end up in a mental hospital from a nervous breakdown I don't think they call it that anymore. But I will give myself a break and keep them. And my daughter is like my sober companion so I will be okay.

Thank you so much you are honestly sweetmelissa!

Love you bunches Hev

 
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  1. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: Fkin legend
  2. Thoth @ Thoth: @Layne_Cobain Crunk Juice!!!
  3. ClintEastwood @ ClintEastwood: Robert Duvall and a handful of others were a younger actors coach and always said no one worked as hard as those guys did. Robert Duvall and rest would read the full script 228 over and over, then after the last read they would go into how to perform their character. The young man had made it to meet Al who are greats and pull them to the side. And explain what his coach said. They all looked back and said out of every role you’ve seen me in. I have read it 228 by myself. 🫡 🫢 🫢 🫢
  4. ClintEastwood @ ClintEastwood: Sorry for comment below, but I couldn’t delete. Know I see the
  5. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: Yeah Robert Duvall passing is a hard one. RIP
  6. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Damn. Just heard Robert Duvall passed away Sunday. That’s a tough one. He’s one of my favorite actors. From Lonesome Dove to the Godfather and many others. We will miss you Mr Duvall. You entertained us for 7 decades. RIP
  7. L @ Layne_Cobain: @ClintEastwood make a post about it homie they’re gonna take down your message here cuz shout box isn’t really for talking shop just random shooting the shit exc but yeh just put your message in a post on the forum in the appropriate place and ppl will get at you! 👊 ✌️
  8. ClintEastwood @ ClintEastwood: Just wondering if anyone well trusted has a supply of research thienos or benz in powders for good average prices? Or could give a shout out from me to him? Or the best lowest per each? I’ve seen some cool and some i just know are worth it. Good price rv presses too but it is much more bang for your buck. I have one good vendor. But am looking for variety’s well. Send me a message or reply if you think any. Thanks - CLINT E. Any Heavy stuff too which all seem about the ssmmmmmm
  9. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: I always thought I should’ve been born in a much earlier time but I will say, i do enjoy my Xbox and occasional TV series tho 😂
  10. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: I just wish the opioid epidemic never happened. Fk the turn of the century (which would be cool no doubt)! Many of my friends and family would’ve ended up in asylums like so many others. I just wish I could get back all those I’ve lost since the start
  11. L @ Layne_Cobain: 1914 I meant
  12. L @ Layne_Cobain: I often wish I lived during the turn of the century or at least before the Harrison narcotics act or whatever I think it was 1924 the fun ended but anyway yeh being able to get laudanum, ❄️ and amphetamine at the local friendly pharmacy
  13. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Chew on the leaves with a bit of slaked lime and enjoy the mild boost you get from the raw base.
  14. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I’m sure you know the folks in the mountainous regions along South Americas pacific side buy cócà leaves at the local farmers market just to help acclimate to the higher elevation when they have to head up into the hills.
  15. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I would certainly have bought it, swilled it, enjoyed it…. Why not? A little boost in your juice isn’t going to hurt anyone.
  16. R @ Royboy99: Exports were reported to have around 7.2mg per FL OZ, it’s success is what actually led to Coca Cola
  17. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Having cramps and husband thinks you’re acting hysterical (ie. PMS) the doc would either perform a certain massage to relieve the strains of motherhood and family life of that time or send you down to the local apothecary for a bottle of laudanum… A tincture of alcohol and 10% òpìųm. Fun days huh?
  18. R @ Royboy99: @malestrom: yeah thats it, my bad Mariani, yeah i considered that and also its ROA, which was oral so the bioavailability was lower than insufflation, higher degree of purity tho and longer duration … there was a significant marked increase of patents filed by Edison during the time it was released in the US. Presidents were known to use it as well, and the Queen. The pope awarded the wine the Vatican gold medal award
  19. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I think it was called vin Mariani. But yeah, it was all the rave back in the turn to the 20th century. Original formula Coca Cola did it for a while too. I think it was pretty weak though. Something like 200 mg per liter of wine. Enough to maybe give you a little push but unless you could pound some serious alcohol, it’d be hard to really feel the effects before the ethyl knocked you down on the ground. It was an interesting time period. Laudanum was a “hysterical” woman’s best friend.
  20. R @ Royboy99: Maybe it’s the admixture of my South American dna that works so well with it ? 🤷
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