Nickiean,
It's natural to feel guilt for the loss of your friend to such a tragic and preventable circumstance - but the reality is no one can change an addict except the addict. I've spent half my life "Self Medicating." I don't like it - I wish I could find better ways to cope with stress than wine and Ambien - and one day maybe I will. But your message is incentive and serves as a reminder that numbing pain, grief, anxiety, etc. can become a natural state that empowers one to believe they have control over their vices. We don't. Your childhood friend didn't - and if she had children and couldn't find the purpose to overcome her addiction - than surely you could not have prevented her loss.
That may sound harsh, not intentionally, and surely you have my greatest sympathy - but perhaps brutal honesty in the face of death due to overdose requires perspective. To love an addict, albeit a friend, child, spouse, etc. requires enormous energy. I know enough about you to understand you gave your energy, support and sincerest love to your friend over the many years you spent together.
We all have lessons to learn or share in this life. You were a great friend to her. She knew it. But please know this, strength doesn't come from pills, alcohol, needles or a pipe - inner strength comes from hope. Hope is an evasive remedy to overcoming the trials and tribulations of life.
I beg you now. Keep hope in your heart. And in case you need it, I'll send some additional hope your way. And courage, in case you need that, too.
XO!
Bloom