Hardest Addiction

Probably during my earlier years 21-23 ( 30 ish now ) not giving away my age because i like to think im 18 forever 😂

but extreme extreme cocain3  & aⓂ️P abuse with lots of benzo$ to come down wouldnt stop for days.

the party scene in new york is very very tempting pre covid thats why i gott outta there and closer to home to much temptation 

 
Combined hardcore stimulants & benzos 

talking 8 ball a day 

80 mg adderall 

20 mg xanax 

.... for a whole year .. partying my ass off couldnt get out of bed even if i tried 

 
When Opana came out, I figured out how to do alcohol extractions. It's the champagne of opiates. Nothing is more euphoric. Made oxy and strong heroin look like baby aspirin. Some days I'd shoot 160-300mg over the course of 15 or more injections.

Finally, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore. I hated myself and asked if I wanted to live or die but couldn't give an honest answer because Opana would speak for me. Then I knew I had to break off the relationship. 

So, I changed my phone number, deleted all my contacts, and moved without telling anyone. It took about 3 years to stop dreaming about it and sleeping more than a few hours at a time, and 5 years to feel "normal" again and not daydream and drool every time I drove by a pharmacy. 

Haven't touched that stuff or injected anything since March 22 2011. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 

 
For me it’s O><ycodon3. The withdrawals from that stuff is the absolute worst. I was doing 120mg a day for months and when I stopped I usually took Suboxon3 but when it wasn’t available the withdrawal effects are terrible even though they’re only for like 4 days

 
EasyMoneySnip3r said:
@EleventySixTrillion heard crazzyy shit about opana lol
Click to expand...
It's no joke. The euphoria is far beyond anything I can explain. MDA, MDMA, Ket, hydromorphone, fentanyl, benzos, mixes of different ones, whatever... Nothing comes close to comparison.

I feel terrible about it though. I was the first person in my area to figure out how to do the alcohol extraction for the XR form. Before that, people didn't want them, because even though you can crush and insufflate the XR form, they turn to gel in your sinuses and aren't worth the work. 

I showed a couple people how to do the extraction, and it spread like fire. Who knows where it led from there. My actions may have destroyed a lot of lives, and it will always weigh heavy on my conscience. 

I suppose that's why I've had so many shitty things happen to me. Karma. 

EasyMoneySnip3r said:
@EleventySixTrillion heard crazzyy shit about opana lol
Click to expand...

 
cigarettes for me; at this stage in life I take other substances by informed choice & am aware of how to taper down,etc. The only time I almost find myself doing anything against my sincere wishes is cigarettes.

I try using vapes for the nicotine replacement, but it doesn't do it for me. I think I might be reliant on the MAOI effect of tobacco smoke, which (as far as I'm aware) isn't strictly down to the nicotine.

 
Physically Methadone, mentally benzos. IMO. I’ve done H rattle many times, not even close to methadone. Only good thing about meth is you can go as lo as 1 ml before quitting. Need to squirt it in mouth out a syringe as it’s too little to drink out a measuring cup.

 
Coming off meth@d0ne was soul crushing. Never again... 

 
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  1. 3 @ 3ak: @xenxra damn shame, can't find any of the rc stims
  2. xenxra @ xenxra: @3ak mostly, will prob be gone entirely by end of summer imo
  3. F @ frozenSR17: hope everyone has a nice start 2 their weekend. "keep it one hunnid," as someone once said to me
  4. 3 @ 3ak: 4f-mph dried up?
  5. xenxra @ xenxra: pretty sure black also went rogue sometime late last year
  6. Strawhat7 @ Strawhat7: Yo, whatever happened to Mr. Black? Just got a rando email from him after ghosting me like a year and a half ago
  7. LW815 @ LW815: Know what’s really going on in somebody else’s head or how much they’re really dealing with and feel like they’re left with no other options. Been a very sad few days but 2 complete (irl anyway) strangers cared enough about what I was going through to talk to me about it, though they owe me nothing and have no reason to help my personal pain other than the kindness in their own hearts. Just shows that this place is a real community, not just a forum of people who only care about themselves.
  8. LW815 @ LW815: Was nodding in/out the entire time writing those shouts and spparently was fully out sending the last one lol. But II find it ‘uplifting’ as two people I’ve never actually met and only know the others online presence through subscriptions, who I have a better chance of getting a handy J from Jesus Christ himself, both were so quick to share their own experience and wise words and assurances that things will look up and not to feel guilty or be mad at somebody for going that route - as you never
  9. xenxra @ xenxra: @hotdog45 meh, same difference. they both got blacklisted on here. wouldn't be the first time a rogue shop sent out unsolicited comms after the fact.
  10. MOD @ MOD: Hello @everyone
  11. LW815 @ LW815: Own personal experience with this kind of this type kind of situation and sympathized with my pain when I really just needed somebody to talk to. Both went out of their way to help a stranger in a time of need when I really needed somebody, and body to talk to. MM
  12. LW815 @ LW815: Sent a simple conf email and I just dropped a ball on them. I really just needed to let it out, didn’t expect them to reply in such a thoughtful way that it drastically changed the rest of my day and mindset for the bette . Above and beyond - and the last night while chatting with another that I knew had at least once one child,, so i wished them a belated happy Father’s Day, which again caused me to spill it all to them and again received the most thoughtful and kind response, as well as their-
  13. LW815 @ LW815: They didn’t need to. They could have just continued on with the nature or the main purpose of what the relationship between us is, I didn’t really have anybody else to let it out to at the time and they both went far beyond what I’d expect. Not that I’d assumed they’re cold/A-holes - it was just a lot from somebody who’s technically a competent stranger. A very close friend of mine committed suicide on Father’s Day and iwas emotionally wrecked witih nobody to talk to, and the first author just
  14. LW815 @ LW815: @Mokachin0 not really uplifting in the normal sense, but two popular authors on here took the time out of their likely very busy days to not only read my massive walls of text, but both also replied with the most kind, thoughtful and positive responses when I randomly dumped my personal problems into their laps
  15. H @ hotdog45: I have never ordered mags from him I meant
  16. H @ hotdog45: @xenxra I thought that too but after digging on the site it is chemical cabinet. Either way I deleted the email. I have ordered mags from him, but I thought you guys should know he's reaching out to people again. After reading the thread if anyone gets an email from him I would suggest doing the same.
  17. xenxra @ xenxra: @hotdog45 isn't that ghost? he threw his rep in the trash and got blacklisted
  18. O @ oh be g: thank you! hopefully this will inpsirw someone!
  19. M @ Mokachin0: @oh be g check your dms!
  20. O @ oh be g: these were instilled in me by a coworker who has had about the worst trauma experiences in life and he is still the most positive upbeat guy ive met
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