Hardest Addiction

Probably during my earlier years 21-23 ( 30 ish now ) not giving away my age because i like to think im 18 forever 😂

but extreme extreme cocain3  & aⓂ️P abuse with lots of benzo$ to come down wouldnt stop for days.

the party scene in new york is very very tempting pre covid thats why i gott outta there and closer to home to much temptation 

 
Combined hardcore stimulants & benzos 

talking 8 ball a day 

80 mg adderall 

20 mg xanax 

.... for a whole year .. partying my ass off couldnt get out of bed even if i tried 

 
When Opana came out, I figured out how to do alcohol extractions. It's the champagne of opiates. Nothing is more euphoric. Made oxy and strong heroin look like baby aspirin. Some days I'd shoot 160-300mg over the course of 15 or more injections.

Finally, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore. I hated myself and asked if I wanted to live or die but couldn't give an honest answer because Opana would speak for me. Then I knew I had to break off the relationship. 

So, I changed my phone number, deleted all my contacts, and moved without telling anyone. It took about 3 years to stop dreaming about it and sleeping more than a few hours at a time, and 5 years to feel "normal" again and not daydream and drool every time I drove by a pharmacy. 

Haven't touched that stuff or injected anything since March 22 2011. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 

 
For me it’s O><ycodon3. The withdrawals from that stuff is the absolute worst. I was doing 120mg a day for months and when I stopped I usually took Suboxon3 but when it wasn’t available the withdrawal effects are terrible even though they’re only for like 4 days

 
@EleventySixTrillion heard crazzyy shit about opana lol
It's no joke. The euphoria is far beyond anything I can explain. MDA, MDMA, Ket, hydromorphone, fentanyl, benzos, mixes of different ones, whatever... Nothing comes close to comparison.

I feel terrible about it though. I was the first person in my area to figure out how to do the alcohol extraction for the XR form. Before that, people didn't want them, because even though you can crush and insufflate the XR form, they turn to gel in your sinuses and aren't worth the work. 

I showed a couple people how to do the extraction, and it spread like fire. Who knows where it led from there. My actions may have destroyed a lot of lives, and it will always weigh heavy on my conscience. 

I suppose that's why I've had so many shitty things happen to me. Karma. 

@EleventySixTrillion heard crazzyy shit about opana lol

 
cigarettes for me; at this stage in life I take other substances by informed choice & am aware of how to taper down,etc. The only time I almost find myself doing anything against my sincere wishes is cigarettes.

I try using vapes for the nicotine replacement, but it doesn't do it for me. I think I might be reliant on the MAOI effect of tobacco smoke, which (as far as I'm aware) isn't strictly down to the nicotine.

 
Physically Methadone, mentally benzos. IMO. I’ve done H rattle many times, not even close to methadone. Only good thing about meth is you can go as lo as 1 ml before quitting. Need to squirt it in mouth out a syringe as it’s too little to drink out a measuring cup.

 
Coming off meth@d0ne was soul crushing. Never again... 

 
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  14. L @ Layne_Cobain: I hear you man pulled between staying up and doing what I should hitting the pillow but usually stay up unless it’s a clunker and regret it when that alarm goes off
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