I'm at a loss. Don't know how to get through today.

[Jiub1]

Hello DBG, 

I'm not sure how you guys handle this. But I depend on opis and have been out for last 10 days. Luckily taking kratom helped the withdrawals. 

I finally get my package today with my favorite 40mg 0xies. & I never take more than 20mg, so I always split those. 

I received package 9:40am, was super happy about getting it so early! Yay! My pain will be gone. 

I immediately open package get out the pills. Cut one in half, down it with some lemonade, on empty stomach because I couldn't wait. I wait my normal 1 hr and feel NOTHING so I take the other half (normally I wouldn't until 4-6 hrs later). Still feel absolutely NOTHING. Then I say f#ck it and chew another whole one (this should get me to effed up, to where I'd usually feel uncomfortable) especially considering I have "40mg" supposedly already in my system. Now it's been 4 hrs and I've taken 3 of these and I have Zero effects. I have never had this. 

I've used this vendor 4 times in the last month and every order was on point and pain relief. These pills also look 100% legit. I'm at a loss, I didn't think I would get this depressed. I don't have money until payday to order more. I just want to cry. I can't do another week like this last week. I have two big projects at work with deadlines. Kratom is great but not the same. 

I just need to survive these days. I get paid until a week from now. Any tips besides kratom on how to mentally become stronger? I think it was my mind expecting so much that today was gonna be pain relief day and now it's nothing but sugar pills (when I chewed the 2nd one. It tasted sweet not bitter) 

Much love DBG, 

Jiub 

 

[Chefman]

Hey J

sorry to hear this - it sucks to go through this unexpectedly and is far from ideal.

the last time I went through WDs was my honeymoon… I could’ve taken to stave it off but decided I didn’t want to be dependent. It was super boneheaded and my wife thought I had the flu (trams)

I tell you this because half the battle is the WDs - I know you’re still in pain but if you’re almost two weeks in a lot of the acute symptoms are closer to wearing off; maybe your tolerance can even reset.

I know you’ve got work and stuff as well, so finding a way to pass the time can actually be a huge blessing. Keep fighting and think how motivating it can be to have your dopamine back totally in your control

 

[Jiub1]

@Chefman

Thank you Chefman! That means a lot. Also flu is the perfect excuse for these wd's. I've said the same to my fiance. 

I ended up watching TV (which I rarely due) & just was lazy all day. I think it was my mental health that suffered just after spending all that money and receiving basically sugar pills. I have a few packages in customs since may 6th, so hoping I get those any day. 

Your right it is a good tolerance break. I don't think I will fully stop as I never had dopamine in the first place. The first time I got prescribed opis is the first time I wasn't depressed and felt content with myself. I don't know why. 

Have you fully quit and regained control? If so that's super awesome and you can be extremely proud of yourself. & either way, sounds like you have a great human compass and that is needed in this world. & to do that during honeymoon requires huge balls imo lol sorry to put it that way. Def got my respect! 

Thanks again Chefman! 

Jiub 

 

[Chefman]

I hadn’t touched a pain pill since November until just yesterday when my back was making it hard to walk again - I let myself take 50mg of tram and that’s it. I haven’t felt any urge to take again and thankfully think I can keep it so sparse (weekly or every few days) that it’s never habituation.

in the past I just kept kinda going “just one more day in a row,” but in reality as much as possible I think I prefer “no days in a row - or even every two days at most.”  The moment I sense constipation coming on I’ve been way too consistent.

do I miss just the warm, fuzzy feeling of opis? Totally. I don’t have the literal highs of before. Am I more even on the daily, with way fewer “valleys?” Absolutely.

I still have an embarrassingly large stash like so many other members, but that’s more of a “family supply medicine cabinet” function as there’s nothing hardcore in it. 
 

all this to say, my last WD wasn’t deliberate at the start but feeling that awful pain I realized I never wanted to have to do that again

 

[iversusvsversusi]

@Jiub1 All too well as I have been doing this dance for like 10 years or so now. Pain management is really neglectfully strict in NY.

Aside from kratom, the easiest go-tos , good to haves, [excluding RCs] and life savers are Phenibut [from lift mode. its basically a legal benzo,] Nitrous oxide [laughing gas] CBD[restorative botanicals pure 6 tincture stops siezures and can put you to sleep and even give you a little munchies. Its fantastic, amazing company, Muscle balm is best I have found as well, next to THE CLEAR, another company, and then cannabis from a friend or whatever possible.

oh if youre lucky to have someone, and in a time like this, sex. Hope I helped, if not now, for the future. 

Much Love

 

[Deepnorth]

I am glad to see this post. I myself have been put in such a position. It was not for lack of planning it was simple lying from the other side and now of course a Holiday. It is hard to get around much less focus on what needs to be done. I know many of us are in the same boat. It just sucks when you go above and beyond not to be in WD unexpectedly and then it happens. The “I don’t feel good only lasts so long”. I am glad to see some of the other posts and wish luck to anyone in the same place right now. I was so excited Monday may bring relief then realized it was a Holiday and not only would it not be then . It would not be the next day either. So 5 days. Day 3 is sucking bad.