Missing you....

Joined
May 26, 2015
Messages
130
hello, I'm sorry I have not logged on in a while,  and if I have it has been rather sporadic. Last Monday I had a head on collision. honestly, I'm not really even sure how it happened. I remember leaving the CVS parking lot in my hometown but apparently drove two miles north and ran a red light and hit someone head on in my Jeep. scariest thing ever. I have a concussion and I feel very alone... scared.  My body feels OK but my head is so very foggy. Everyone around me thinks that I'm on drugs. if they only knew at I have been waiting for the mailman to bring me some of the items I ordered. They would then know that I am sober and very scared. Of course the ambulance came to pick me up and transported me to the hospital, and of course a drug test was done because, who runs head on into another car at a stoplight unless they are on drugs right? they won't find any good drugs in my system. For the reasons stated above but also because of the sub-Devils that I am on and have been for quite some time. I saw my sub-devil Dr yesterday and he was quick to explain the process of concussions and then as quick to get me out, and oh by the way, that will be $300...Thank you and come again next month.

I guess I just wanted to let you all know where I had been because I have found this forum to be so helpful and I care about all of you that I've met.  I hope you all have had a good week.I look forward to the day when I am a little more clear headed and less confused with a little more purpose in life. Funny, I had a thought today, it passed so quickly, that I almost thought it wasn't mine.  "you will not live to be 38."  (my birthday was June 1st and I turned 36.)

kind of a scary thought for someone who has just turned 36. just a weird thought actually. Very brief. Not much feeling behind it. Just a matter of fact statement. I will not live to be 38. I wonder what that means?

I do look forward to looking back on this day and realizing how wrong I really was.  

 
That's frightening Shehulk and I'm glad you are still with us, even if it's in a haze. I have had those kinds of weird thoughts, but nothing ever comes of them. Just the other day, I had the feeling that I wasn't going to make it home alive. Weird, but here I am. I'm sure you will make it to 38 and far beyond. Rest up and feel better soon XOXO

 
Omg. oh my goodness. I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE OK. Just rest your eyes and dont aggrivate the concussion. MY little (big) strong girl. Xoxo. 

 
I was just thinking about you being MIA. I hope everything works out for you!

Oh, and I share the same weird thought/experience with you, but It was always in my head that I wouldn't make it past 30,(so much so that I dreaded my 30th birthday) that's just weird! But, that was many years ago... /default_smile.png

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Yeah, chin up girl, you're still here, and hopefully it won't happen again either. Focus. I'm ages with you, and I never thought I would get to 21 lol. Stay safe,  yeah.

 
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  15. L @ Layne_Cobain: @maoi thanks for the input tho I think I’d def go the route of using hcg if I do go w TrT
  16. L @ Layne_Cobain: @maoi nah no fear of needles and if it made me feel a lot better no fear of being on it long term as who knows if my t will even rebound after 5 years on methadone not sure if that’s the norm I hope so…the more I research the more it seems like the best choice is to just go for it with TrT rather than trying to “middle” with Enclomiphene especially now that i know it probably won’t work being on methadone altho I am tapering off 5 mg biweekly so that’ll take a while I’m at 95 now from 120
  17. moai @ moai: @Layne_Cobain the longer you’re on it without using HCG sometimes, (meaning years) the harder it will be to rebound if you do come off. But I’m with you, at only 22, I’ve abused myself to the point I may NEED trt. Not to mention all of the benefits
  18. moai @ moai: @Layne_Cobain You don’t seem it, but if you are the type that’s afraid of needles for life, don’t sweat it. I’m natty atm, but from what I hear A) you won’t want to come off and B) if you implement HCG every once in a while to your protocol, you have a better chance of being able to come off T completely and restore all (or most) of your natty production. Of course, no guarantees and it is dependent on the individual, genetics, compounds and duration of exposure, etc.
  19. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood when you began the Enclomiphene, were you already off opiates? Cause after further research I don’t think it’ll even work while still on methadone…I think trt with hcg to preserve fertility and ball size is the way to go for me. I just wanna feel better. Thanks for your input on the matter btw
  20. aarons @ aarons: buddy lay that cr@ck pipe down, the weekend barely started
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