Pray for my Dag man

[Liberateme]

Dude I’m so sorry. I recently had to put mine down as he was my angel and my whole world to me. He was my service dog and he didn’t have a single mean bone in his body. I wouldn’t even yell at him cuz he could feel when he did wrong so we would just have a conversation. Since I put him down I haven’t been able to forgive myself and I feel like a big part of me died as if I have a loaded Gun To my head every day. I have a very hard time trying to comprehend even the simplest of things. He was voted the happiest dog at the park we went to. I spent 4 years in Afghanistan as a private contractor and I came back with my heart blackened but only he could make me smile and feel my heart. I recently tried to do mdma therapy to forgive myself with a vendor by name of Rocky Mountain and I used a usb Os and the site was very malfunctioning so I wrote to the site and was abused in a horrific way and called names and threatened and he even said ones just an asshole and using my disabilities to be a horrible person. I never once retaliated by calling names or even cursing cuz my heart is absolutely broken. Thankfully i used an address that isn’t my own but the threats puts the whole community at risk. I stated I know who he is and location but id never retaliate as ive seen enough horrific things such as children’s bodies blown to bits as others laughed. We live in a very sick world and I swore an oath I’d never do harm to another unless I seen someone beating their dog or wife or child as I myself grew up in a very violent home where my first memory was being doused with lighter fluid and almost being burnt alive at 3 years old as I had 3rd degree burns from head to toe. I became a very good man and even co authored the bill that legalized medical cannabis in a specific state, mainly to save the life of a 7 year old child that had a brain tumor in which RSO healed him. I’ve seen so much trauma in my life that most couldn’t handle which is why 22 people a day take their own lives. I donated my time helping veterans heal even with my own injuries that makes it hard to even walk up a flight of stairs. I’m a man of compassion and empathy which I can only hope I can do enough good in this world to make up for the wrongs I’ve done. I’ve worked with world renowned soldiers such as Ethan McCord and Michael prysner. I use to have a very successful podcast as well. With this being said my heart bleeds for you cuz I know my dog was the best human I ever met and I can only hope when my heart condition finally takes me out that i will be with him again. It’s the only thing I want out of this life. I havent even been in an intimate relationship for many years cuz I don’t want my nightmares to effect another. I wish you the power and strength to adopt another dog in need as I haven’t been able to cuz I know I’m too broken and go 3-7 days without sleep. I’d never do anything to harm myself cuz the way I see it Is if I have enough interactions such as with Rocky Mountain my heart will just give out. The condition is called c bradycardia where my heart rate at most is 36bpm so they have to keep me sedated as any sharp spikes of heart rate could cause cerebral hemorrhage or stroke or aneurysm or embolism. I wish I could take your pain away and I would of if I could.