so this is where everyone is. smh

watcher123 said:
Thanks for writing ac.  I find, over time, I've become MORE AND MORE angry that the rh law was passed.  for he love of god, it was hard enough on those of us in REAL PAIN.  we were forced to online services to supplement the meter amounts our drs give and then POOF we lost that as well.  I seen too many from the old, original drug buyers forum move up the scale of meds, following rh...into crazy shizzzzzz.  the gov't took people in legit pain, from REAL pharmaceutical meds into the land of paying way too much $$, getting fakes, taking more risks... to people who went into bard core street drugs.  they mot certainly INCRESED drug addiction and overdose statistics , instead of lowering them.  they made this problem absolutely out of control at this point.   now we risk losing money to possibly getting killed with fakes.  sorry to rant, but I fell yesterday and increased pain makes me more irritable.  ugh I miss the old days.  ughhhh
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​Anytime.. I'm tryin to figure out HOW the hell Imma make this trip in a week, that's over a week long, w/ at least 3 concerts... then try to get down to Nashville 6th of July for Langhorne's record launch party(I made it in w/ 150 others, he'll never have another so small, OR they'll get smaller/cost a shit ton of $, this was just cuz I support him through all I go through.. and he's the only artist whose ever given a damn, and appreciated I fought off my pain to come see him) I HAVE to find a pain doc who'll over look the thc for a few months and get me back on what works.. I'm basically done trying to "get by" wasting $ on any meds I should have NO PROBLEM getting from ANY Dr" but they're all scared to death. If I had the $ I'd move to Portugal. I don't though.. nor can I wrap my head around prices/ tab for what I used to get 90/mo of, for $2.. I fell about a month ago.. I bruised something internally.. went to the ER(BOTH my Dr's told me to) they got pissed 1st thing this nurse dude said was "I'm not giving you anything for pain" I DIDN"T ASK JAGOFF!! Smh they always ASSume.. I wish i had time to see a new dr before all my trips.. Mid July will be the earliest. I feel like I've been in a fibro flare for 4 mo's.. it's ridiculous IDK that I even have fibro it's such a "generic term", I DO think I have CRPS, I know I have the begginings of RA(I feel it in my hips like CRAZY) and that one damn spinal root that is pinching off a nerve.. I feel it's either I ween totally off and live(well w/e ya wanna call this hell I go through) in this hell for a year or 2, and end up right where they want me.. on the streets. I hope we find some solution. I can't keep up like this, and... HAVE to figure a way I can live. 
"Is this really living? Sometimes it's hard to tell, or is this just a kinder gentler hell?"- Please bleed by Ben Harper

 
I am with you 100%!!!!  you know here and here, for a split second I will think to myself "frig this maybe I should go on sub"... because you know after TWENTY YEARS ON THESE MEDS, YOU DON'T JUST.....STOP.   but like I said, that thought lasts a split second... because then you then, literally SMACK YOURSELF IN THE HEAD and say "wait, I STILL HAVE THE PAIN, THATS NOT GOING AWAY WITH SUB". I just really feel, true chronic pain patients have hit a DEAD END.  if the gov't doesn't get out of the medical business, idk with we are supposed to do anymore!!!

I have a child with muscular dystrophy, his med bills alone are killing us.  then we have to take all these risks ordering thru sy vendors, to possibly lose the $ we dont have to lose, by lost pkg. ll, oR fake meds.  idk Somedays I just wanna bury my head in a pillow and scream !

 
iI hope you enjoy the concert, sounds fun.  Just im sorry you will be hurting...it can suck the fun out of anything that is for sure...

I also hope you can find a new doc..im calling doc today and asking for my refferal to a new pain doc...i guess ill see...but i wont hold my breath...

 
watcher123 said:
I am with you 100%!!!!  you know here and here, for a split second I will think to myself "frig this maybe I should go on sub"... because you know after TWENTY YEARS ON THESE MEDS, YOU DON'T JUST.....STOP.   but like I said, that thought lasts a split second... because then you then, literally SMACK YOURSELF IN THE HEAD and say "wait, I STILL HAVE THE PAIN, THATS NOT GOING AWAY WITH SUB". I just really feel, true chronic pain patients have hit a DEAD END.  if the gov't doesn't get out of the medical business, idk with we are supposed to do anymore!!!

I have a child with muscular dystrophy, his med bills alone are killing us.  then we have to take all these risks ordering thru sy vendors, to possibly lose the $ we dont have to lose, by lost pkg. ll, oR fake meds.  idk Somedays I just wanna bury my head in a pillow and scream !
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​Been down that road even whilst in pain, tho it was before my cervical c-spine fusion.. It was harder to switch to a reg p/k after the subs than anything.. And yep after 17yrs of literally taking em everyday.. all the sudden no Doc's care? I'll find one, may have to off all I own and live in a RV so I can still go see music, but "It's bad getting worse, tell me where'd all the good people goo?"-Jack Johnson was way ahead of his time w/ some of his songs as they're still pertinent 15+yrs later, same w/ Ben.. even "Burn one down" he's probably gotta watch which states he sings that one in? I really hope your kid gets better cuz the LAST thing needed is for this to get passed on.. I'm done w/ the SY's.. it's cheaper to find junk heads. IDK how the hell they can still get em and I can't(OHH maybe cuz the actually "HELPFUL" natural one stays in your system 20-50x's longer?) so it ends up putting your trust and loot in the hands of some questionable people. I'm not comfortable w/ that anymore. And can't afford it.

sadminion said:
iI hope you enjoy the concert, sounds fun.  Just im sorry you will be hurting...it can suck the fun out of anything that is for sure...

I also hope you can find a new doc..im calling doc today and asking for my refferal to a new pain doc...i guess ill see...but i wont hold my breath...
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​Thank you, there are actually 3 or 4.. Idk if I can pull off all 4 right now but I have to book a flight today.. Nothing takes away my pain like good, live music.. but there's always a come down from that as well.. I need to get to the pharm, It's too damn early, but I ain't sleeping.. "It's late, and I can't sleep.. I've made promises that I can't keep.. Oh I'm a fool for a lonesome train.." I am looking forward to watching Ben "Preach" expect to get "Where could I go?" and "Paris Sunrise #7<Lifeline"(which is posted on my Music Therapy thread) 
How did it go w/ the referral? See my pain doc will give me 100 reasons not to, but only cuz he genuinely does care.. but this just ain't life.. this time in '13 I was on my way to Red Rocks.. I couldn't make it last year, and no reason to go this year.. but Pickathon in Oregon.. I think I HAVE to.

sorry outta likes already /default_smile.png

 
it went so so, he sending me to a million differen tests and different doctors.  So maybe there figure it out but i doubt it because my insurance sucks.  I think its just a waste of time and stress I dont need...again we shall see..

 
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  1. 3 @ 3ak: @xenxra damn shame, can't find any of the rc stims
  2. xenxra @ xenxra: @3ak mostly, will prob be gone entirely by end of summer imo
  3. F @ frozenSR17: hope everyone has a nice start 2 their weekend. "keep it one hunnid," as someone once said to me
  4. 3 @ 3ak: 4f-mph dried up?
  5. xenxra @ xenxra: pretty sure black also went rogue sometime late last year
  6. Strawhat7 @ Strawhat7: Yo, whatever happened to Mr. Black? Just got a rando email from him after ghosting me like a year and a half ago
  7. LW815 @ LW815: Know what’s really going on in somebody else’s head or how much they’re really dealing with and feel like they’re left with no other options. Been a very sad few days but 2 complete (irl anyway) strangers cared enough about what I was going through to talk to me about it, though they owe me nothing and have no reason to help my personal pain other than the kindness in their own hearts. Just shows that this place is a real community, not just a forum of people who only care about themselves.
  8. LW815 @ LW815: Was nodding in/out the entire time writing those shouts and spparently was fully out sending the last one lol. But II find it ‘uplifting’ as two people I’ve never actually met and only know the others online presence through subscriptions, who I have a better chance of getting a handy J from Jesus Christ himself, both were so quick to share their own experience and wise words and assurances that things will look up and not to feel guilty or be mad at somebody for going that route - as you never
  9. xenxra @ xenxra: @hotdog45 meh, same difference. they both got blacklisted on here. wouldn't be the first time a rogue shop sent out unsolicited comms after the fact.
  10. MOD @ MOD: Hello @everyone
  11. LW815 @ LW815: Own personal experience with this kind of this type kind of situation and sympathized with my pain when I really just needed somebody to talk to. Both went out of their way to help a stranger in a time of need when I really needed somebody, and body to talk to. MM
  12. LW815 @ LW815: Sent a simple conf email and I just dropped a ball on them. I really just needed to let it out, didn’t expect them to reply in such a thoughtful way that it drastically changed the rest of my day and mindset for the bette . Above and beyond - and the last night while chatting with another that I knew had at least once one child,, so i wished them a belated happy Father’s Day, which again caused me to spill it all to them and again received the most thoughtful and kind response, as well as their-
  13. LW815 @ LW815: They didn’t need to. They could have just continued on with the nature or the main purpose of what the relationship between us is, I didn’t really have anybody else to let it out to at the time and they both went far beyond what I’d expect. Not that I’d assumed they’re cold/A-holes - it was just a lot from somebody who’s technically a competent stranger. A very close friend of mine committed suicide on Father’s Day and iwas emotionally wrecked witih nobody to talk to, and the first author just
  14. LW815 @ LW815: @Mokachin0 not really uplifting in the normal sense, but two popular authors on here took the time out of their likely very busy days to not only read my massive walls of text, but both also replied with the most kind, thoughtful and positive responses when I randomly dumped my personal problems into their laps
  15. H @ hotdog45: I have never ordered mags from him I meant
  16. H @ hotdog45: @xenxra I thought that too but after digging on the site it is chemical cabinet. Either way I deleted the email. I have ordered mags from him, but I thought you guys should know he's reaching out to people again. After reading the thread if anyone gets an email from him I would suggest doing the same.
  17. xenxra @ xenxra: @hotdog45 isn't that ghost? he threw his rep in the trash and got blacklisted
  18. O @ oh be g: thank you! hopefully this will inpsirw someone!
  19. M @ Mokachin0: @oh be g check your dms!
  20. O @ oh be g: these were instilled in me by a coworker who has had about the worst trauma experiences in life and he is still the most positive upbeat guy ive met
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