Terrified

[DoomKitty]

@porkandbeansboy So sorry to hear of your friends passing.  My heart goes out to you, it is never easy.  Take care and stay strong!

 

[porkandbeansboy]

I appreciate that @DoomKitty I'm trying to not let myself get into any kind of negative "thought loop" for lack of a better way to explain it.

 

[bud]

@porkandbeansboy my condolences

 

[porkandbeansboy]

Thank You the Private Messages and the Posts from all the people here mean a lot during this tough time in my life I truly do appreciate it. @bud

 

[bud]

Thank You the Private Messages and the Posts from all the people here mean a lot during this tough time in my life I truly do appreciate it. @bud

In general we are lucky to have a supportive group here.  I hope you continue on a path of emotional healing.

There have been a lot of darned Cancer deaths in my circle lately and I can totally feel for you at this time

 

[Kalsima]

@Fargo I couldn't 'agree more with you in the last year my husband lost his two brothers to lung cancer then I was diagnosed I had part of my liver out and went through chemo. It made my husband crazy. Seriously he was in a mental health facility for six weeks  He was broken but getting better. I can't stand the word and  wish it could be out of our vocabulary.

@Vickydog you are so right the C word scares people to death. But its not contagious and people with cancer need someone I went through it with my pug. He is my emotional support dog.

@VeXXeD ViXXie sorry so late to respond but I know what you went through. I hope your better now please update us on your status!

Love and thoughts to you

Heavenlee

 

[Handsley]

Thanx appreciate the advice... The partially worrying part is he doesn't seem to be worried about it despite not having a check up in like a long time.

My father was the same exact way with lung cancer.  He lied to me about dr. visits because I was on him all the time and I really regret this.  I wish I would have honored his wishes and enjoyed our time together more.  He got in a "I've fallen and I can't get up" situation and couldn't reach the phone until he finally remembered my phone number by heart the next day.  I will never forget him laying there so sick from not drinking or eating.  Then he finally had to go by ambulance and we arranged for him to die at home, he let it get way too big.  I believe this is the way he wanted it.  He saw me take care of my mother for 3 years and her get every kind of experimental treatment and I believe he just didn't want to put anyone through what we went through with her because he was the one I'd call when I was crying.  I am of the same mindset as him.  If I get sick, I'm not going to bankrupt my family and get treatment and I understand completely how your friend is thinking.  I know the best times of my life are over now and I have my memories so that's okay with me.  I would say just listen to your friend and check on him often.  Tell him you'll go with him to the doctor if he wants to.  My family also forced my MIL to get treatment when she didn't want it and I saw the toll it took on her even though it worked.  I wanted a better death for them all.  Good luck and I hope your friend stays around for a long time.

 

[jtab]

@Handsley thank you for sharing some of your most painful and personal experiences.  It was touching to read.  I also went through the horrific cancer experience with my dad, and I can relate to most of what you wrote.  My dad fortunately didn’t have to suffer long as he was gone within 3 months of his diagnosis. He however, did his share of suffering.  He had it almost in his entire body from brain, lung, colon, liver to the bones. He was working 3 jobs up until his diagnosis, and no one had any idea that most likely the cancer had been growing and spreading for years.  The brain cancer was particularly horrible as it robbed him of his character and lucidity and took away a good month from us to actually be able to communicate with him intelligibly before he passed. He hallucinated and would get violent although naturally he was a gentle nature man.  I being his primary care taker and still in my twenties, and him being a big guy, it got rather scary at times, although I completely understood it was not at all his fault. I tried relentlessly to get him not only the best treatment but all the treatments I could and if I knew then what I know now, that ultimately he was going to pass anyway, I would forgo all of it and would of let him rest and not be pricked and probed or I would not of been on him so much about going to the dr, so I can certainly relate with you there, but we only did that because we loved them and didn’t want to lose them right? There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s love, and we had no way of knowing that it wouldn’t work. You did the best you could. There’s no manual for this stuff. 

 

[Handsley]

@jtab.   I would like to recommend a book to you if you or any members that are up to reading it.  It's called "How We Die."  It's a very scientific book about the process of death, what the likely cause of death is by study and the stats, but it really opened my eyes that 80% of us will go out with lots of pain and suffering.  It is not an easy read.  However, the way society covers up the process I believe is detrimental to the concept of a quality life at the end.  Your dad's violence at the end is part of the process.  Please don't take it personally.  Some people are so heartbroken to die and leave their family in a mess that they push them away, although it seems as if he had brain cancer, that would affect him.  That sucks to be scared of someone.  I broke a couple bones and got sick of all the dr. visits, therapy, so I can't even imagine someone with cancer.  At least I was comforted by the fact that there will be an end to the bone healing.  I don't blame anyone at all for getting tired of it and being done.  I've found it's so individual for each person.  My mom just wanted all this treatment and wanted to keep going on the chemo to the point where I was saying "Are you sure?"  Of course, I knew her chances were only 20% and didn't have the heart to tell her.  Other people I've known haven't wanted anything.  I was shocked plus happy to see a euthansia section on this board.  I am gathering my thoughts on that subject and bravo to @admin for creating it.   Far too many people are undermedicated.  My brother and I, after we said our goodbyes to our dad, just kept drugging him and drugging him with whatever we had so he would not wake up.  We basically OD'd him and could not talk about it openly with each other.  We just looked at each other and said every time he stirred, we would drug him again and all drs and nurses leave that up to the family if you are dying at home in hospice care.  We saw what our mom went through and decided this time would be different.  I've only told that to a very few people in fear of judgment, but here it is semi-anonymously and I should repost on the euthanasia thread and get that going.  On the other hand, my husband my husband's father went out quick and pretty painless.  All of us say we want to die in our sleep, but if you do, you have won the death lottery, so to speak.   Well, sorry to talk so shockingly, but it's a subject that we need to talk about more as a society and we've made tons of strides in this area in my lifetime.  Don't be afraid to be with someone dying even if they are in pain.  I've been present at many deaths and it is a sacred moment and one of the ultimates in selfless love to be holding someone's hand at the end and telling them they can let go and you will both be okay, and it's a shitty thing when you can't say goodbye.  That being said, I think there's one more person I may be called upon to do this with and then I'm calling a truce.

 

[idkwhy]

My wife has breast cancer and it scares the shit out of me.I try to stay strong and always listen to her and try not to flip out.She says it makes her super scared to see me cry so I also have to hold my shit super together.I am trying to make sure she gets the best care I can. She stopped seeing her Drs and the one hospital as they made her feel uncomfortable and didn’t listen.My insurance paid for a second opinion and if the second opinion included a onsite visit with care recommendations my insurance pays for 100% coverage of all hospital bills,travel,food,hotels etc .Well the Mayo Clinic recommended we come see them 12hrs away .After around 23 appointments in 4 days she found out she no longer has option for lumpectomy and has to have mastectomy.The cancer at the clinical stage is 2 but that’s probably gonna change.They have found the cancer in so far 1 lymph node under her armpit on left side and like 3 tumors in left breast.Right breast is ok but with two spots they said if she keeps it they advice keeping on eye on them.As part of the testing she has had genetic testing all negative ,7 biopsies,pet/ct scan showed no spread but showed somethings on liver and uterus.So we got ultrasound of liver they said they cysts,US of uterus and ovaries says fibroids.We now go meet with the surgeon and in a few weeks surgery for her .She had decided she wants both Breast (traitor tits in her words)gone with reconstruction and also wants a hysterectomy and oophorectomy.Oh the tumors are grade 2 ER+PR+HEr2-neg.I’m so overwhelmed and can’t stop worrying .I love my wife she is my world .Will be 18 years in a month that we have been married .We have stopped smoking cigarettes after over 25 years of doing so.Was the hardest thing to do especially cold turkey no nicotine replacement as nicotine itself is bad for cancer.Sorry for the rant I’m just a mess holding all this in.

 

[DoomKitty]

No need to apologize and glad you could get some of that out, its a lot to hold in an carry with you all the time.  The unknown can feel so fucking perilous.  Been in similar situations an unlucky number of times.  Sending you and your wife lots of strength and resilience and prayers.  Take all the care you are able and feel free to rant here as much as you need.

 

[patsummers]

Doctors? Not listening? Surely you jest. I had to go around with a neurologist at one point because he obviously was not going to listen to me in my wife are all the symptoms of Guillain-Barre a and he kept telling her it was all in her head so finally before we left that backed him up in his desk and said "does this not look to you like a d Milan eating disorder?" We had barely had time to turn the corner before they told us that they had a appointment for us and Vanderbilt in a month my wife could barely hold a sandwich at that time I said the hell with this took her to Semmes Murphy in Memphis. A doctor deshazo asked her to close her eyes and tilt your head back and she couldn't keep her balance you said you have a vitamin B12 deficiency will do the test but I know that's what it is I understand them not talking and not listening they think that we're just part of the lower class somehow I take that back some of them do a lot of them do I get tired of having to prove to them that I have a master's degree in a health-related field. I'll do some research on your wife's disorder but you just never can tell how things are going to go you might look at MD Anderson too hear some good stuff from them. Sorry for the rattling I'm up early just feeling kind of rough so you do what you got to do and don't forget about prayer I've seen it do some amazing things to holler at me if you want to talk about it more.

Please take care of yourself if you wear yourself out you won't be able to help her I know I've been there.

 

[idkwhy]

Thanks for the replies.It’s just getting more stressful everyday as she is getting closer to surgery day.On top of  it Her bday is today and I am going to give her everything I can to make sure she celebrates herself and let her know she is my puzzle piece, my everything , my love and she can fight with me in her corner anything that is thrown her way.We believe the Drs we have now really know their shit and also listen and give both outcomes to any decisions or procedures to be done.Thank you for letting me rant .

 

[DoomKitty]

@idkwhy  Happy Bday to your wife and i hope the both of you have a magical day!

 

[patsummers]

Cancer...

It is literally a monster. It has taken from me

My wife,

My two best friends,

A good friend that I worked with me in the Summers when school was out,

One of my neighbors, as a matter of fact he mowed my yard,

My niece, my sister's only daughter,

A well regarded retired cardiologist and his wife.

I'm sure I could think of more but the whole thing just wears me out it seems like it's taking so much that I just can't understand sometimes. I do understand pain though I have active rheumatoid arthritis and very severe osteoarthritis.

Luckily I have a good vendor and I can augment what I get from pain Management. There's no pain management in West Tennessee by the way I have to drive 60 mi or actually be driven to Paducah Kentucky where the pain management clinic is they're good they're understanding but I still have to piss in a jar when I least expect it.

9 + years I've been going to pain management and I've had two questions about tests both of them I had prescriptions for I just forgot to tell them that I had them and that's it everything else is out of my system but what should be there on the day that I see them only one way to beat a drug test and we all know what it is.

Thanks for reading my little rant. Everybody stay safe and be careful.

 

[shody]

Has Anyone Dealt with Lymphoma???

Over a year ago masses were located between my abdominal lymph nodes and my spine--

Since then they've wrapped around my Inferior Aorta and Inferior Veena Cava.

Apparently it's too risky to even take a sample, lymphoma is SUSPECTED but cannot be confirmed...

Over the last year I've lost weight, the last nodes under my ears/against my jaws have swollen and hardened, and keeping anything down is A CHORE.

When I was in my late teens I had Ganglioneuroma/Neuroblastoma tumors spanning my spinal cord, left kidney, and stomach-- less than a year later had CARCINOID tumors in my Appendix, fallopian tubes, ureter, and gallbladder--

But I was a tad luckier then because all was rectified through a series of surgeries-- organ removals, etc.

Meaning: No Chemo.

I already suffer from debilitating RSDS and now this...

I've been waiting a year for some kind of resolution but I'm consistently told:

"Wait and See..."

I'm petrified--

Anyone have any advice????

Yours,

ViXXXie

This is not the same but a little similar
I went to hospital with kidney stones
Within 4 hours
I was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer mets in the lymphatic area around the kidney .
I'm young .
I had weeks to live.
Surgery or rip .
My stats were 60 40 against because I had clots blocking the inferior Vena cava ,and my lungs had clots
Surgery is usually a no go with clots .
My doctor asked my feelings on death .
I told him life on life's terms .
His reply was can we attempt surgery even do protocol says no .
I said give me two years to allow family to accept.
The finest surgeon in this field .
Operated .
I'm alive 16 months later .
My point no chemo and cancer is a disease of the mind .
Don't give up
Wishing you the best

 

[rcchem66]

这不一样但有点相似
我因肾结石去了医院
4小时内
我被诊断出患有 4 期肾癌，肿瘤发生在肾脏周围的淋巴区域。
我年轻 。
我还有几个星期的寿命。
手术或撕裂。
我的统计数据是 60 40 反对，因为我有血栓阻塞下腔静脉，而且我的肺部有血栓
手术通常是不适合治疗血栓的。
我的医生询问我对死亡的感受。
我告诉他按照生活的条件生活。
他的答复是，即使协议说不，我们也可以尝试手术吗？
我说给我两年时间，让家人接受。
该领域最优秀的外科医生。
经营过。
16个月后我还活着。
我的观点是，没有化疗，癌症是一种精神疾病。
不要放弃
祝你一切顺利

I wish you will live to be 100 years old

 

[shody]

I have experience with cancer that can't be cured .
Get a book
Kill cancer not people .
It explains cancer .
How to get the best out of life and even extend progression

 

[shody]

I wish you will live to be 100 years old

Thank you I have had. A very loving family .
I see people alone .
I'm lucky
Thank you .