The SSRI's and SNRI's have same ritual. At first they help (2 weeks) as they make me sleepy and I don't wake up. After a few weeks tolerance starts to build up and I'm back to my normal state. When I stop taking them I am subject to withdrawl that magnifies the original state and so I feel I'm further behind.
Doc's have tried several that all do the same thing.
This is why I'm breaking down and thinking about trying Bensos.
Does this make sense? Might they help, or do they simply delay underlying problems.
I'm willing to try under docs supervision, but still apprehensive.
I simply need some peace. I am starting to break down from the pressure.
Is there any possibility that after a few months I will be glad I went down that road?
Thanks.
PS: The idea of a pill setting my spirit at rest is too promising to turn down. The chance of abuse scares me as much.
Any advice from those who have successfully gone down that road?
Advise from those who have failed.
One more thing. My doc said I will be a new man in a matter of weeks.
Mr. Golfer
So you're taking anti-depressants for GAD and what looks to me like a panic disorder, but the panic lasts too long for a doc to call it that. People don't build a tolerance to an AD in two weeks. In 4-6 weeks is when their therapeutic effects begin. So your sleepiness is the initial side effect of the medication that you build the tolerance to. Then you're still in the grace period and feel the same way. When you hit the 4-6 week mark you either react to the medication or are resistant to it. Anxiety has a lot of causes. It can be an abundance of any chemical in the brain, or even the lack of a chemical particularly dopamine. There are numerous problems that can cause hyper-excitability of the nerves in the brain. You took two avenues to address this problem, and probably tried a few different medications in these classes and they didn't work either. You could have gone the way of atypical antipsychotics. One that comes to mind is Seroquel. It calms the brain by antagonizing or blocking several receptors in the brain that might be a bit hyper. It works well for my anxiety, but I'm not sure if it's officially approved for anxiety. I know they use it as an add-on for AD's. I don't understand how that would work since it's blocking the receptors that relieve depression, it didn't work that way for me, but I love how it knocks me out cold and makes me less anxious. You might want to mention it to your doctor. He/She probably has a ton of samples to start you out with. If you have no insurance and a moderately low income you can get it for free from Astra-Zenica, the AZ and Me Program. So this med addresses the hyperstimulation of certain receptors, actually, it has the most thorough blockade out of all atypical (the word they use for new) antipsychotics.
You've got Abilify, which is a drug that fascinates me. It blocks Dopamine receptors making you nice and calm. But it is a 5HT-2a agonist, meaning it sensitizes the receptors that brighten your mood. So when a serotonin molecule hits one, it's effects are amplified. They usually use it with an SSRI so that there is more serotonin in the synapse resulting in more hits to the sensitized receptors. The stuff is energizing and calming at the same time. I'm on it but when my energy becomes uncomfortable I take a day off from it. Unlike Seroquel, which is known to make some people zombies (and they need to be shot in the head, not the body, you need a clean head shot to put 'em down) but seriously, I took my dose late last weekend and went into work in a cloud. People thought I was high. It didn't help that I worked night shifts all week and had to switch over to a 9am-11pm shift. My 3xNo-Doz Especiales de Novartis didn't even work. I could be tweaking like crazy, take one, and it shuts it down like a light switch. Anyway, those two are ones I have experience with. I know Risperidol blocks dopamine receptors like Abilify, but also blocks the happy ones. Abilify on it's own, actually with my infrequently prescribed MAOI Parnate (because I've tried every AD on the market and none of them worked) gives me insomnia. Nardil works on anxiety too, but MAOI's are the last step before ECT, it would be nice if they were more mainstream because they are more effective than any other AD.
You're wondering if you're going to feel better on benzo's after a few month's? How about 45 minutes to an hour? I went a few years before I began to abuse my Klonopin prescription. You said you're afraid of abuse, then you'll most likely be afraid while you're on them. Most people don't do things that they're afraid of doing. Benzo's do reduce inhibition, but mostly in higher doses. Still, inhibition implies that you're going to do something that you want to do but is considered inappropriate.or dangerous.
So, you have some hyperactive nerves that nobody knows how to control. Since you can't fix the problem, you might as well take some palliative measures. Now you have GABA receptors all over your brain, they are widespread. Benzos release GABA which hits these receptors causing a brain wide calming effect, the hyperactive nerves relax. This is why the medication causes an immediate effect. Over time, the nerves get used to having extra GABA to calm them down. This is why you have to slowly take it away. If you just stop, they go totally nuts. This is because the brain is used to having alot of GABA too and decided not to produce as much. So there is a deficiency that can only be corrected with time. And the brain is notoriously slow a correcting itself. So you do a slow taper. It's like getting into a really cold pool. You have to ease them in. Now, if you skip a day every so often, the brain and the nerves realize they can't depend on the extra GABA and have to go back to work.
As for the underlying problems, the benzos won't effect them, maybe you were just genetically predisposed to having hyperactive nerves. If the underlying problem gets worse, you might as well be comfortable while it does because you don't know what it is, or how to fix it. It's like saying my fan isn't working right, I don't know what's wrong with it. Do you think the air conditioner will make the fan more broken? Oh, I forgot to add, it's the last fan in the universe, so don't think you can buy another.
So I went down that road and failed. It went from once in a while to once a week, to a few days a week, to killing my prescription in three days, to buying online, to stealing to buy online, to trying a taper, getting down from 20mg of Valium to 5mg then snapping and binging. Now, there are two types of people, one with an addict hiding in them, and the others who don't. You should know by now. Can you have a few beers then stop? Can you smoke a fat dust blunt and not want some later /default_smile.png? Do you just need to get that rush from any substance, is it never casual, is moderation is a foreign concept? Well, for the people with the addict hiding in them, certain things wake it up and fuck up your life. I don't think mine was ever hidden. For me, drinking was for getting fucked up. For my brothers, they just hang with a few beers, I don't know how they do it. So back on the subject, I was living with my parents, they were already worried, they'd seen me wrecked so many times. It just so happened that they were going out of town to see their first grandchild, it was so special to them. When they saw how messed up I was again, they wanted to cancel the trip to watch over me. I said, I'll be taken care of, I'll be in rehab the entire time you're gone.
I relapsed a few times, but they were isolated incidents. I still have GAD so I still need Valium. I don't abuse it. I don't even want to. Not because of the hell, just because I like the way things are now. So it's been over a year, everything's been cool. I'm an addict for life, but I took a good look at the prescription and it didn't say take 20 over the course of the day until bottle is empty.
I just read the beginning of your post. You need to taper off of AD's too, same concept as the GABA vacation the brain goes on. And when there is a dramatic drop in serotonin, weird shit happens. I call it the most vivid NT of all. I mean, LSD acts like it, even hits it's receptors. I really think it's responsible for our perception and self awareness.
I hope the technical stuff didn't bother you. I'm just teaching what I know, why learn it if you can't share it? It may look like I'm trying to sell you on these meds, but really it's my point of view and my own voice of logic.
Let me know what you think.
