Was This A Convulsion/seizure?

[Smoka90]

It's a good shout you've made smoka. What was the tram dosage? Plus stims on top doesn't sound like a good idea, your seizure threshold must be lowered with that too. You don't need me or anyone else to tell you to watch what you are doing, so I won't patronise you. But be REALLY careful mate. Any support I can offer you I will of course. 

The tram dosage was 150mg in divided doses at that point, that was about 3pm when it happened, and I usually reach 200mg most days. This was plus kratom (3-4g), modafinil (200mg) and a little bit of buspirone as well...

I've felt strange since it happened, like I feel like a different person. I feel very angry, I keep thinking about violence a lot. Maybe it's because I convulsed in front of so many people, maybe it's embarassment, I don't know. I know I should be careful, but now I feel, what's the point? I want to let the waves come in.

I've had a lot of horrible feelings, but nothing's worse than the aura I get before a seizure. A hellish mix of deja vu/something awful is going to happen. Horrible...

 

[2earls]

No reason to be embarrassed, I'm sure the witnesses only felt concern for your well being.

Have you had a thorough exam to rule out health problems unrelated to meds? That would be a good idea if you haven't already done so.

The point is, that in your own words, you have a lot to lose. Obviously a caring partner and a lifetime of cooking unusual recipes. And then there's the pinnacle of all things; talking to PTFC and I on the forum.

 

[PTFC]

It's a good shout you've made smoka. What was the tram dosage? Plus stims on top doesn't sound like a good idea, your seizure threshold must be lowered with that too. You don't need me or anyone else to tell you to watch what you are doing, so I won't patronise you. But be REALLY careful mate. Any support I can offer you I will of course. 

The tram dosage was 150mg in divided doses at that point, that was about 3pm when it happened, and I usually reach 200mg most days. This was plus kratom (3-4g), modafinil (200mg) and a little bit of buspirone as well...

I've felt strange since it happened, like I feel like a different person. I feel very angry, I keep thinking about violence a lot. Maybe it's because I convulsed in front of so many people, maybe it's embarassment, I don't know. I know I should be careful, but now I feel, what's the point? I want to let the waves come in.

I've had a lot of horrible feelings, but nothing's worse than the aura I get before a seizure. A hellish mix of deja vu/something awful is going to happen. Horrible...

I think you're likely feeling angry/embarrassed because of the public display of it smoka, I would be. But they really would have been concerned for you. It's amazing for someone to respond to you in that situation. If you see them again give your thanks, not that I think you wouldn't,  but it might neutralise the anger a little. There is a point too, your wellbeing and life. I'm not exactly in a great place myself at the moment either, but I'm going for it and really trying , I hate looking at the negatives, even though I do, if you get your mindset right you will gain something positive from this experience for sure.

 

[Smoka90]

It's a good shout you've made smoka. What was the tram dosage? Plus stims on top doesn't sound like a good idea, your seizure threshold must be lowered with that too. You don't need me or anyone else to tell you to watch what you are doing, so I won't patronise you. But be REALLY careful mate. Any support I can offer you I will of course. 

The tram dosage was 150mg in divided doses at that point, that was about 3pm when it happened, and I usually reach 200mg most days. This was plus kratom (3-4g), modafinil (200mg) and a little bit of buspirone as well...

I've felt strange since it happened, like I feel like a different person. I feel very angry, I keep thinking about violence a lot. Maybe it's because I convulsed in front of so many people, maybe it's embarassment, I don't know. I know I should be careful, but now I feel, what's the point? I want to let the waves come in.

I've had a lot of horrible feelings, but nothing's worse than the aura I get before a seizure. A hellish mix of deja vu/something awful is going to happen. Horrible...

I think you're likely feeling angry/embarrassed because of the public display of it smoka, I would be. But they really would have been concerned for you. It's amazing for someone to respond to you in that situation. If you see them again give your thanks, not that I think you wouldn't,  but it might neutralise the anger a little. There is a point too, your wellbeing and life. I'm not exactly in a great place myself at the moment either, but I'm going for it and really trying , I hate looking at the negatives, even though I do, if you get your mindset right you will gain something positive from this experience for sure.

Thanks mate. On Monday I'll see the tutor who was there again (although I don't think she was with me after - can't remember very clearly), so I will definitely be sure to thank her and I've already apologised to her through e-mail, although maybe an apology isn't necessary, I think I should be sorry after putting someone through seeing that. Seeing a lecturer who's responsible for disabled students as well, as apparantly I need a health plan or something, in case it happens again. That makes me feel better... /default_sleep.png

But I will try and keep myself safe, certainly for the next few days while my mood and personality level off, I'm not thinking rationally at the moment. Yeah, I'm tempted to take everything under the sun and let it go, but I will restrain myself...

No reason to be embarrassed, I'm sure the witnesses only felt concern for your well being.

Have you had a thorough exam to rule out health problems unrelated to meds? That would be a good idea if you haven't already done so.

The point is, that in your own words, you have a lot to lose. Obviously a caring partner and a lifetime of cooking unusual recipes. And then there's the pinnacle of all things; talking to PTFC and I on the forum.

The hospital told me a neurologist would be in touch, and I'm waiting to get a letter or phonecall from them, I hope it happens soon. I think they'll probably just tell me to stop taking anything (as if it's that easy...) but I'm really scared of having a brain scan. The hospital said it would be quite likely, I think they said an MRI scan rather than a CT scan...

But thanks for your concern, as always. =)

I made some baklava the other day. That went...well...

 

[2earls]

Mmmmm baklava....

 

[VII]

 @Smoka90 I know this is old but this might be helpful to you in the future. 

I experience the same things during panic attacks, these are merely convulsions that are not related to epilepsy. For you, I don't know your medical background nor will I ask such sensitive information but I can tell you that sounds exactly like a convulsion caused by a side effect. You were on a high dose so try not to do this again, which I've been reading and it seems you're more careful now and I'm happy to hear that.

Can you update us regarding the neurologist visit? There's a huge cliffhanger here and it would be comforting to know that you're alright in the longrun along with information that other users can find helpful aswell.

Best wishes,

-VII

 

[Smoka90]

 @Smoka90 I know this is old but this might be helpful to you in the future. 

I experience the same things during panic attacks, these are merely convulsions that are not related to epilepsy. For you, I don't know your medical background nor will I ask such sensitive information but I can tell you that sounds exactly like a convulsion caused by a side effect. You were on a high dose so try not to do this again, which I've been reading and it seems you're more careful now and I'm happy to hear that.

Can you update us regarding the neurologist visit? There's a huge cliffhanger here and it would be comforting to know that you're alright in the longrun along with information that other users can find helpful aswell.

Best wishes,

-VII

Sorry, I left this thread but I think I made a new one in 'All about other health issues', I think...

Last posted here in October last year...didn't know then that I'd have another five seizures before Christmas, it was such a horrible time. I know now that it's epilepsy. They are full blown tonic clonic seizures. Not 'just' convulsions. I do the same thing every time. I get a 'warning', where I get deja vu and a nightmarish thought loop, it's horrible. Then I'm out. Apparantly I let out a cry (air being forced out of my lungs), then I go rigid for 30 seconds or so, then I thrash about for a couple of minutes...I drool at the mouth, make a lot of noise...my eyes roll back...then I start to come around. I don't remember any of that stuff, my partner's seen a few and told me...

But I remember being terrified for about 15 minutes after. Seriously, I don't know where I am, what's going on, I don't recognise my partner, and the fear, seriously...I'm like a scared rabbit. It's horrible.

Anyway, I'm on carbazepine now and haven't had one since mid December, but I'm still careful. One seizure (before meds) was triggered by a cup of coffee I think, so it was bad.

I've had an MRI and EEG scan. MRI was fine, but the EEG showed occasional electrical discharges, so I have to go back and have another under sleep deprivation. That'll be fun... not sure when it is yet, waiting to hear from them...

The neurologist was very kind, and in my subsequent letter the diagnosis was generalised epilepsy with a probable focal onset. They're not sure exactly what type it is, and often they might never know. I still have scares. Apparantly I have times when I stare into space and don't respond, once a few weeks ago I stared then let out a scream, like one was going to happen and it didn't. Weird...because I could remember it all, and I couldn't help myself scream, it just came out. So I guess the carbazepine is doing its job. But I don't like the consequent exhaustion from it and the way it saps my memory.

I wore a paper party hat as I was writing this, because I'm so happy, happy, happy.

 

[VII]

@Smoka90

I'm very sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how bad these seizures are for you and you will have my full support along the way. I'm not familiar with those medications that treat such things but I hope it's helping. 

On another note, I can relate to something to something you stated. When you said you have times you stare off in space and become unresponsive, you're probably loosing time along the way right? I have the same problem but I think mines related to something else. These generally don't last very long and you can snap out of it in a short period of time unlike the seizures itself but one the less it does worry the loved ones around you which is unfortunate. I was told this was related to "post mal seizures" or classified as it which is related to "absent seizures". 

I thought I'd share this due to the fact I have practically the same experience with this and I fully understand what you go through with this. It's not as bad as it's been before, but as I've always stated I'm not a medical professional and this can not be used as a real diagnosis for you--- please allow the medical professionals to do that.

However, bring up those two terms "post mal" and "absent seizures" in your next visit and see if there's any link between them and what you're experiencing with the convulsive seizures. There might be a link, who knows but they will know for sure after the necessary testing.

Glad to hear you're happy! Where's our party hats?! This is an outrage, I thought you were throwing a party here! I even brought Doritos for us, don't worry it's cool ranch flavored (◕‿◕✿)

Best wishes,

-VII

 

[Smoka90]

Sorry, the party hats have been custom made just for me. They're sprinkled with pure happiness in a factory in Finland. Very expensive, so I can't go handing them around.

Erm, with the absence seizures, I can hear people talking to me, but I can't respond or snap out of it for a few seconds, but I can hear people talking to me...

I have done endless reading on different seizures and I know what's wrong with me. It starts as a simple partial seizure in the temporal lobe area of my brain (as the deja vu, fear is associated with that lobe. Other lobes have specific symptoms too). That's the aura. Then I pass out and it spreads to the whole brain and becomes a secondary generalised seizure.

I've already had my long talk with the neurologist and I'm next down to see him in June, after I've had this EEG scan. Even though I still have symptoms, I have faith in my anti convulsants. But the fear of having one is very strong. I have exams in a few weeks, so that'll be a good test of whether I can keep it together...

Can you imagine if there was a thing called ear lobe epilepsy, where your ear lobe twitched? Then it spread to my whole ear. Sorry, I need dark humour to live.

 

[Guest]

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