I can't keep a relationship because I'm such in introvert, communication ceases to exist. When I try to talk, I literappy seize up and just don't know what to say. Maybe I'm a sociopath. I care about my family but I do not talk to anyone. No friends, not neighbors, even church is a struggle. I though I'd grow out of it in college, my twenties, but no it's still the same and I struggle with it daily. I simply find it very difficult to have a conversation with anyone. When I'm one on one with someone my mind just.......races with random thoughts, some I can't mention. The only time I'm social is when I'm drunk (I don't drink anymore) or I'm high.
I've been to countless psychiatrists, psychologists, teams of them, interns, etc. etc. I also suffer from low self-esteem and I don't think I deserve anything from the things I have done (im talking about alcoholic episodes and drugs, not anything violent haha).
Phew. That felt good.
Rotax
Rotax, At least you are trying. You probably just have to meet someone that's also the same way. Keep your head up when you least expect it you will find that person.