What to do about Manic depression/bi-polar disorder?

[Kurt Codean]

Hello everybody. I was wondering if anyone had some advice on how to deal with manic-depression/bi-polar disorder? I was never diagnosed by a doctor but believe I might be suffering from one of these illnesses. I've basically been feeling more or less depressed beginning about 15 years ago. When it first started I went from feeling great to feeling like a train wreck like the flick of a switch. This was a few months after I experimented with ecstacy(mdma). I remember doing it only once and then feeling good for several months after that, then I had this episode where I all of the sudden started having this insomnia for years. It was really brutal at first. I was getting little to no sleep for weeks on end, and it seems like years have passed and not much has change. I do sleep better now but I still have times when I wake up after only 3 hours of sleep and then can't fall asleep again. I'm always worried about whether I'm going to have a restless night. I keep hoping these feelings will pass but sometimes they get the better of me and I start feeling extremely paranoid and anxious. I hate to think the rest of my life will be this way. I'm on Celexa and Clonazepam, but I don't think they are really solving any of my problems. Anyway long story short it's been about 15 years since I've felt truly stable. I used to feel strong and confident but now I feel weak and helpless. My biggest fear is that I will feel this way for the rest of my life. Well if anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it. I have seen doctors by the way and brought up some of these issues but for the most part they weren't resolved. 

 

[Leigh Anne]

Hello everybody. I was wondering if anyone had some advice on how to deal with manic-depression/bi-polar disorder? I was never diagnosed by a doctor but believe I might be suffering from one of these illnesses. I've basically been feeling more or less depressed beginning about 15 years ago. When it first started I went from feeling great to feeling like a train wreck like the flick of a switch. This was a few months after I experimented with ecstacy(mdma). I remember doing it only once and then feeling good for several months after that, then I had this episode where I all of the sudden started having this insomnia for years. It was really brutal at first. I was getting little to no sleep for weeks on end, and it seems like years have passed and not much has change. I do sleep better now but I still have times when I wake up after only 3 hours of sleep and then can't fall asleep again. I'm always worried about whether I'm going to have a restless night. I keep hoping these feelings will pass but sometimes they get the better of me and I start feeling extremely paranoid and anxious. I hate to think the rest of my life will be this way. I'm on Celexa and Clonazepam, but I don't think they are really solving any of my problems. Anyway long story short it's been about 15 years since I've felt truly stable. I used to feel strong and confident but now I feel weak and helpless. My biggest fear is that I will feel this way for the rest of my life. Well if anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it. I have seen doctors by the way and brought up some of these issues but for the most part they weren't resolved. 

You need to find a good psychiatrist--a regular bedside physician has no specialty when it comes to identifying, medicating and treating illnesses such as the one you have described. Many bipolar people do not take anti-depressants.  There are several meds out there especially formulated to treating bipolar disorder, some really old ones that should have cheap co-pays (I'm thinking of Lithium), and there are a couple of new ones, also.  My best friend takes Tr!leptal (not sure on spelling), and it has done wonders for her.  She still sometimes has manic episodes, but she is much better controlled than she was prior to starting that med.  She also participates in one-on-one therapy sessions with a counselor--she gets the outlet, she gets really good advice, and she has an objective outsider to monitor how she is doing and report to the doctor as needed.  That's really helpful for her.  I am not bipolar, just depressed and anxious, but therapy did not seem to be greatly helpful to me--I did private sessions with a counselor, and also group therapy, but I am not participating in that sort of treatment anymore.  I am controlled mostly on my meds and frequent follow ups with my psychiatrist.  Shock treatments help many people that are just depressed, but I think it's contraindicated in bipolar patients.  It also did not work for me, but I know it works successfully with many people.  I would guess that you are right in thinking you are bipolar, and that you also have a generalized anxiety disorder (maybe some PTSD in there, too?).  Whatever is going on, you need a diagnosis from a qualified doctor after a thorough evaluation, and you need to have some meds changed around or added.  Sometimes that is a long process, so you have to be patient.  But be sure to follow-up on this, you've already waited 15 years too long.  There is too much help out there for people like us to continue to suffer in silence.  I know it is a stigma of sorts to make admissions of any mental disorders, but you need assistance pronto!  Please get the help you need, and if that MD doesn't help you, go on to the next one, then the next one until you get someone who actually listens to your problems and symptoms and offers solutions.  Best of luck to you!  Leigh Anne

Hello everybody. I was wondering if anyone had some advice on how to deal with manic-depression/bi-polar disorder? I was never diagnosed by a doctor but believe I might be suffering from one of these illnesses. I've basically been feeling more or less depressed beginning about 15 years ago. When it first started I went from feeling great to feeling like a train wreck like the flick of a switch. This was a few months after I experimented with ecstacy(mdma). I remember doing it only once and then feeling good for several months after that, then I had this episode where I all of the sudden started having this insomnia for years. It was really brutal at first. I was getting little to no sleep for weeks on end, and it seems like years have passed and not much has change. I do sleep better now but I still have times when I wake up after only 3 hours of sleep and then can't fall asleep again. I'm always worried about whether I'm going to have a restless night. I keep hoping these feelings will pass but sometimes they get the better of me and I start feeling extremely paranoid and anxious. I hate to think the rest of my life will be this way. I'm on Celexa and Clonazepam, but I don't think they are really solving any of my problems. Anyway long story short it's been about 15 years since I've felt truly stable. I used to feel strong and confident but now I feel weak and helpless. My biggest fear is that I will feel this way for the rest of my life. Well if anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it. I have seen doctors by the way and brought up some of these issues but for the most part they weren't resolved. 

You need to find a good psychiatrist--a regular bedside physician has no specialty when it comes to identifying, medicating and treating illnesses such as the one you have described. Many bipolar people do not take anti-depressants.  There are several meds out there especially formulated to treating bipolar disorder, some really old ones that should have cheap co-pays (I'm thinking of Lithium), and there are a couple of new ones, also.  My best friend takes Tr!leptal (not sure on spelling), and it has done wonders for her.  She still sometimes has manic episodes, but she is much better controlled than she was prior to starting that med.  She also participates in one-on-one therapy sessions with a counselor--she gets the outlet, she gets really good advice, and she has an objective outsider to monitor how she is doing and report to the doctor as needed.  That's really helpful for her.  I am not bipolar, just depressed and anxious, but therapy did not seem to be greatly helpful to me--I did private sessions with a counselor, and also group therapy, but I am not participating in that sort of treatment anymore.  I am controlled mostly on my meds and frequent follow ups with my psychiatrist.  Shock treatments help many people that are just depressed, but I think it's contraindicated in bipolar patients.  It also did not work for me, but I know it works successfully with many people.  I would guess that you are right in thinking you are bipolar, and that you also have a generalized anxiety disorder (maybe some PTSD in there, too?).  Whatever is going on, you need a diagnosis from a qualified doctor after a thorough evaluation, and you need to have some meds changed around or added.  Sometimes that is a long process, so you have to be patient.  But be sure to follow-up on this, you've already waited 15 years too long.  There is too much help out there for people like us to continue to suffer in silence.  I know it is a stigma of sorts to make admissions of any mental disorders, but you need assistance pronto!  Please get the help you need, and if that MD doesn't help you, go on to the next one, then the next one until you get someone who actually listens to your problems and symptoms and offers solutions.  Best of luck to you!  Leigh Anne

I would also recommend a thorough history and physical, and you need to have blood drawn and perhaps some other medical testing done.  You could have some kind of auto-immune disease or something else going on physically that is creating or exacerbating the mental problems...

 

[Live it up]

Does anyone know where I can obtain painkillers?  Oxy or something close.  Maybe Percocet .

thanks for your help

 

[Kurt Codean]

@Leigh Anne thanks yeah I think I should seek a psychiatrist to talk about my problems. I'm not sure if I am bi-polar, I might be suffering more from social anxiety. I think I have a problem with self confidence, and I don't seem to apply myself to my optimum potential. I am a college graduate with a degree in Economics but I am working as a Dishwasher in a restaurant. I think my family and friends are all wondering why the heck is wrong with me. There was a long period of time where I was unemployed because I was afraid to go outside, mainly because I felt out of shape and was overly self conscious of my appearance. I feel bad about myself because I went to college and am now working in a job that I could of gotten right out of high school. I guess the bright side is that if I ever do regain my confidence, I still have the credentials to find a better job. I think part of the problem with my education is I'm not at all completely interested in Economics or Finance. And I actually think I might have PTSD after what happened on 9/11. I don't want to go to work one day and end up having to jump out of a window. I feel a bit safer working in retail or food and hospitality jobs, but I don't think it's rational to give up on my degree because of what happened back in 2001..

 

[Leigh Anne]

They just put me on zyprexa...took me off of effexor.

i have PTSD and GAD 

I have taken both.  The Effex0r was helpful for a time with a combination of a couple of other meds, but the Zyprex@ is classified as an anti-psychotic, and I had symptoms (like trembling) that can become permanent. So if you notice ANY new muscle twitching, mouth/tongue/jaw movements, or other symptoms, you need to see the doctor ASAP.  They can put you on something like Hald0l to combat the symptoms, or take you off the med entirely and try something else.  I would look it up on Wikipedia so you know what to watch for.  I'm not saying it isn't a good drug that has been helpful to countless people, but it can cause side-effects that can be nasty and possibly permanent.  BTW, I am looking up Kratom now--thanks again for the lead.  Best wishes, Leigh Anne

 

[Leigh Anne]

@Leigh Anne thanks yeah I think I should seek a psychiatrist to talk about my problems. I'm not sure if I am bi-polar, I might be suffering more from social anxiety. I think I have a problem with self confidence, and I don't seem to apply myself to my optimum potential. I am a college graduate with a degree in Economics but I am working as a Dishwasher in a restaurant. I think my family and friends are all wondering why the heck is wrong with me. There was a long period of time where I was unemployed because I was afraid to go outside, mainly because I felt out of shape and was overly self conscious of my appearance. I feel bad about myself because I went to college and am now working in a job that I could of gotten right out of high school. I guess the bright side is that if I ever do regain my confidence, I still have the credentials to find a better job. I think part of the problem with my education is I'm not at all completely interested in Economics or Finance. And I actually think I might have PTSD after what happened on 9/11. I don't want to go to work one day and end up having to jump out of a window. I feel a bit safer working in retail or food and hospitality jobs, but I don't think it's rational to give up on my degree because of what happened back in 2001..

I understand completely.  I am a college graduate with a bachelor's degree in a field that is highly regarded and well paid (and that I loved to do at one time), and I worked for 12 or 14 years in a prestigious place, but I was just slowly starting to disintegrate.  I have severe depression and anxiety, and I am reliant on my psychiatrist for my very life.  I am also agoraphobic, and only leave the house about once a month to see the doctor, fill my prescriptions, & do my grocery shopping and I have to have a friend drive me because my anxiety is too bad for me to drive myself anymore.  I also need the support of another person I trust to go out of my comfort zone.  So now I am on a plethora of medications, certified as disabled, and a complete bewilderment to my family who watched me as a successful women deteriorate into an overwhelming depression and level of anxiousness that prevents me from wanting to leave my nest, have visitors, or socialize.  Yes, you need a physical and a mental evaluation from a professional--you wouldn't see your family doctor for a broken back--you'd go to an orthopedic surgeon.  So if you have mental disease, you need to see that kind of specialist--a psychiatrist.  It takes patience though, I have been on a myriad of medications in every combination, I have been hospitalized, I have had shock treatments, but I have gotten better with the help of my doctor who listens to me, and is willing to write prescriptions that are scheduled drugs in order to help me get better.  I have seen him for about 6 years, so he is comfortable writing meds for me and he knows my physical and medical and mental history back and forth.  He recently put me on Adder@ll, and after going up on the dosage and increasing my X@nax with it--I can get up in the morning and do tasks like clean the kitchen and make the beds, and dust the furniture, and just all the normal domestic things I couldn't do well before.  He also had to increase my sleeping pill b/c of the amphet@mine effect of the Addys, & I am actually resting pretty well most nights.  I get up in the morning, early, and do my "chores" and pick an extra task each day as a goal to accomplish that day.  One day it was taking down the bathroom light fixture and cleaning it, one day it was organizing my pots and pans, just little things that give me a sense of accomplishment.  I have also cut back on the TV--every weekend I read two books and keep the TV off--before I couldn't concentrate enough to get through a page even (and I've always loved books), so that makes me feel better also.  There are tests, just simple written tests, that you can take in a doctor's office that will indicate what kind of mental illness you may have.  Your MD also of course will need to talk to you about your symptoms, what exacerbates the bad times, what seems to make you feel more confident, and make a plan of treatment especially for you--it may include meds, maybe therapy, whatever, but you participate with the physician on improving your health.  The right treatment may take several attempts--different therapies and medications work differently on every person, and then the combinations of meds can increase or decrease the effects of other things you may be taking.  But you really need a thorough evaluation--ask around to see if there is someone reputable in your area.  And you probably won't start off on controlled substances--traditionally, the docs will try lower level type treatments first, and gradually add and subtract as your symptoms dictate.  If there is a possibility you might be bipolar (racing thoughts, inability to concentrate, risk taking behavior, making bad decisions sometimes quickly, trouble resting) do NOT take any uppers--could set off a manic episode & just exacerbate all those unpleasant symptoms.  An anti-depressant and maybe a low dose benzo would maybe benefit you, but again, you have to be patient.  It takes 2 or 3 weeks for anti-depressants to even take their full effect.  You also may want to examine your family tree--this sort of illness is genetic, "Crazy Uncle Bob" could have been an untreated manic-depressive.  My mother has depression (not as bad as mine), so I also pay attention to what meds she responds well to--sometimes they've benefitted me as well.  There is no shame in being ill, and there is nothing wrong with working a lower-level job.  If I am ever able to go back to work, I know it won't be in the same capacity I was at when I began to get sick.  And I get the agoraphobia too--I had gained a lot of weight when I first got depressed, didn't want to be seen.  Not heavy anymore, but still don't want to go out--even opening mail and answering the phone or looking at the computer can seem too invasive and overwhelming to me.  My husband had to take over our finances several years ago--I just couldn't get it done properly anymore, and I have just taken that responsibility back from him.  So, yes I am better, but I am medication dependent and will be for life, and I just won't ever be the person I was ten years ago.  But I am coping, and you can too if you seek assistance from the right medical professional.  There is such a stigma to mental illness, I can only write these things to you because you don't know me, and because you have some of the same problems so I know you understand.  Reach out for help, you need to be proactive here.  Best of luck to you.  Keep me posted as to how you get treated and what is helpful to you.  Leigh Anne.

 

[Kurt Codean]

@Leigh Anne Wow I feel bad for you. You must truly be suffering if you can't even drive to the pharmacist or pick up your mail. It's good that you are married though. I don't want to get too personal with you but if your husband is supportive then you are lucky. You mentioned that you worked in your field for around 14 years before you stopped functioning normally. Well you still have one up on me because I never worked in the field I studied for. The worse part for me is that I feel like I let everyone down. My parents, especially my father seemed to have high aspirations for me. I think he though I would be successful by now, but every time I talk to him these days it just feels depressing because I have nothing interesting to say to him. Sometimes I feel that maybe he put unfair pressure on me and maybe subconsciously trying to displease him. But that aside I feel bad about myself by my own standards. I thought I would be doing something a little more sophisticated than being dishwasher today. I still hope that I can turn my life around and find a job n the field that I studied, but Ia'm almost 40 now and the older you get it just seems like it is less likely that someone would hire you. I also am sorry to hear you had shock treatments. That sounds really extreme to me and I don't think I would ever voluntarily agree to do it. I talked to someone that had that done and they said it was very painful. 

you are right I do need to start seeing a psychiatrist. I think next time I see my pain doc I will ask him if he can recommend a psychiatrist that takes my insurance. Maybe I I should give adderall another shot because it does seem to motivate me when it kicks in. The only problem I have with it is the after effects. If I took 20mgs of Adderall early in the day I would feel motivated over the next couple of hours and focused to look for better jobs, but once it started to wear off I would totally lose interest in what I was doing and it was like I never could hold on to that inspiration. But like I said I was taking them without a prescription so maybe it would work better if I took them under a doctor's supervision. 

 

[Leigh Anne]

I've been with my husband for about 20 years--we just got married about 7-8 years ago (my memory is shot because of the shock treatments).  Things were still good for me when we wed, I was still able to work and mostly function normally, but I've had bouts of depression since I was about 12 years old, though I didn't know what it was at the time.  The depressive episodes just became longer, and I was becoming more symptomatic--I had been able to hide much of my unhappiness, but it soon became apparent to everyone around me that something was wrong.  It affected my friendships--I stopped wanting to go out.  It affected my work--I just starting dreading going in for the shifts I used to love, and my co-workers noticed the change in enthusiasm.  I started having to take personal time off, finally medical leave, then eventually I just couldn't work anymore at all.  I haven't held a job for a little over 3 years now.  My poor husband--I couldn't shop anymore, couldn't cook anymore, never wanted to have a night out...but he stuck with me, we've been a couple since I was 18 and ambitious and outgoing and getting ready for college; I can't believe he has stayed with me--sometimes I can't even stand my own company.  I am now officially disabled, and that is quite humbling to go from an important occupation that paid well, to practically being an invalid.  I know I've disappointed my parents terribly--they were so proud when I graduated and landed this terrific job and got my own place...Eventually, I had to move back in with them--no job, no income.  They moved to Florida soon after, and I just know in my heart that they were partially escaping from me.  The shock treatments I really have very little memory of--they would put in an IV, sedate me, the anesthesiologist would give me oxygen and keep my airway open while the procedure was actually being done.  I would wake up in recovery with amnesia--I don't recall any pain, but the treatments didn't help my depression, either.  I have been better over the last 6 months--since I was put on the Addies (along with the other soup of meds I take, like 5 anti-depressants, 2 anti-anxiety meds, and just other normal type meds like for my cholesterol, a muscle relaxer, and some things for my GI problems).  When my psychiatrist hit the right dose of Addies for me, and was also able to provide meds that allowed me to sleep, I just found myself getting up early in the morning and cleaning.  Now I keep my house spotless, I am able to concentrate enough on the weekends to read books again, and I don't dread quite so much the days I have to leave my house.  I do have to be driven, though, and I try to limit my trips to once a month if I can.  I'll make a doctor's appt., fill all my scripts, and do my grocery shopping while I wait for my meds.  Everything else, I order online.  My husband had to take over the bills several years ago--I just got too overwhelmed and procrastinated too often, & I was making a mess out of all of it.  The last 2 months, my husband has gotten direct deposit with his paychecks, and every Friday, I pay what we owe that week.  I'm not fond of doing it, but he thought "final pay date" was when the bill was actually due--he had us two months behind on electric bill, cable, garbage, water, all of it.  I had just started to open up mail and discovered his check was being blown on gambling, giving money to his brother and mother--just blowing it, basically.  And he has a good job with a nice paycheck, but not only were we behind on bills, we never had any money although our expenses were half of what he made in a month--he just couldn't explain where the money went.  So I reluctantly took over that chore, & have found I'm actually pretty good at it.  Got us all caught up on everything except our insurance, and I've made arrangements with them, so we'll get them paid off in a couple of weeks.  So now he gets an allowance, I pay the bills, and I save the rest for a rainy day.  Couldn't have done that without the Addies and the rest of my concoctions (I do have to take 2mg X@nax 4 times a day), but the two together seem to balance each other out.  So I am doing better than I have in several years.  I don't think I'll ever be able to work again, and I'm not sure about being able to drive anymore, but things have improved.  But only because of my psychiatrist.  He is excellent.  Right now, I take 40 mg of Addy first thing in the morning--it didn't work for me to take two divided doses at different times--I would be up all night.  But maybe that's what would work for you.  But you know these doctor's are careful these days prescribing controlled substances--they are scrutinized diligently.  My doctor trusts me after all these years, but the office still runs a CASPAR on me once a year or so.  I don't know if a doctor that is unfamiliar with you would go straight to something that strong--and you may not need it (and if you might be bipolar--that's a no-no).  There are really good meds out there that are fairly benign, but extremely effective.  But it takes quite a bit of trial and error, unfortunately.  And then when you start combining meds, you just don't know what the reaction will be...But definitely pursue seeing a psychiatrist--that is their specialty, and if they are good, their passion.  I had a shrink before this one that stunk.  I quit seeing him & went off all my meds, had a small breakdown, then he wouldn't see me again because my insurance changed when I got married.  So I just lucked into this one.  He doesn't just prescribe meds, he wants to know how I am, how my relationships are, what problems I'm having--and he listens.  And he has really good advice--sometimes I can follow his instructions, sometimes not, but I always know he's trying to help me.  For instance, he recommends sunshine, exercise, sex, setting one small goal a day and getting it accomplished, and laying off the TV.  He says studies actually show watching TV affects the alpha waves in your brain adversely.  And that's what I did for almost 3 years, go to bed with TV on, get up and sit on couch all day with TV on, then go back to bed.  So I've actually made a lot of progress.  My parents are pleased that I sound better, I am less negative, and I am more affectionate.  It used to actually hurt for someone to hug me at one time.  I'm still "Boo Radley"--I hardly ever go outside, never see the neighbors, but here I am, communicating extremely personal information with a complete stranger...But I do know how it feels to have people disappointed in you, to not live up to your "potential", to be mentally ill in a society that shuns weakness, so in that way, we ARE connected.  Get that psychiatrist referral ASAP, and get in there soon.  Wishing you all the best!  Leigh Anne

 

[Kurt Codean]

@CITH that sounds like a cool award to receive. This is really the longest consecutive post thread in the history of DBG? Wow that's amazing. I think it's great actually talking to people and sharing your stories instead of just talking about vendors. Maybe some of us can help each other improve out lives.

CD212

@Leigh Anne Hey, I mentioned this in the other thread about Celexa Vs. lexapro and I find the shock treatments you went through to be totally scary and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I would hate to have amnesia form that procedure and forget who I am as a person. I think that is a scary proposition. But anyway I guess despite all the bad experiences you had, on the bright side you did discover that you are doing a good job of managing your household's finances. Like I said before, the fact that you are married must mean that you are a valuable person to some degree. It's hard to maintain a relationship, and if you have a marriage that is going well you must be doing something right, despite all of the meds you've been taken. Maybe you aren't happy in other areas of your life, but at least you at least you have that one thing going for you, your marriage. It's good that you found a good psychiatrist and are getting meds that are actually helping you now. You're right it is pretty hard to find new doctors these days that are willing to prescribe narcotics to their patients. I found this pain medicine guy recently, but I was referred to him by my brother, when I went to his office there were signs everywhere that said no new narcotic patients. So I thought I wasn't going to get anything form him. But when I stepped into his office I mentioned my brother and he seemed to hook me up with most of the medications I asked him for. I mainly was looking for some pain pills like tylenol 4's and Tramadol, because the job I have gives me terrible back pain. I also asked him fro Clonazepam and he didn't ask twice he just said sure and wrote the script. I tried to ask him for adds but by that time he wrote me 5 scripts already, and he said he already wrote me too many. So i didn't press the matter. I might try to ask him for adds again next time I see him because I'm going to tell him that I'm stuck in a rut and I need something to help motivate me to find a better job. He was prescribing adds to my brother so I think there is a good chance he might give me some if I make a good case for it. Okay thanks for sharing your story, I wish you all the best and hope to talk to you again soon,

Sincerely,

CD212

 

[Leigh Anne]

Hey, Admin and 2earls,

i think we need to give an award for longest consecutive posts in the history of dbg!  Lol!

On a more serious note...thanks for sharing your stories guys.  Much love to you!  Lots and lots of love,  

Sorry I've written such long posts.  It's just that I have so much to say about the topic, and so few people I can talk to about it...Leigh Anne

 

[nickiean]

I worked as a psych nurse for 30 yrs & can tell you with my experience that bipolar disorder is about finding the right doctor & meds that work for you. First would be to get the proper diagnosis. Not every med works for everyone. It is a very difficult illness to treat without a good psychiatrist. 

 

[Guest]

Hey, Admin and 2earls,

i think we need to give an award for longest consecutive posts in the history of dbg!  Lol!

On a more serious note...thanks for sharing your stories guys.  Much love to you!  Lots and lots of love,  

Sorry I've written such long posts.  It's just that I have so much to say about the topic, and so few people I can talk to about it...Leigh Anne

please do not apologize. i was teasing you guys before, sorry if I gave the wrong impression.  If you have it to say, we are all here to listen and share our own knowledge.  Your posts will definitely help someone realize that they are not alone.  I can tell you, from my experience, not feeling alone is HUGE.  When I found this site three years ago I was broken with a nasty Tramadol habit.  Mydoctor told me it was non-addictive and I could not  understand why". When I lucked out...I found this site and realized that there were manymany people hooked as well.  That feeling of finding someone in the same boat as you, andi beng able to talk about it with so many people  was priceless.  Absolutely priceless.  So keep on sharing as much as you like!  We are all here to listen and share. That is what we are all about.  We even warn/suspend/ban people that are volatile on the site., We want to make everyone comfortble here, and to be able to share......ALL of it. 

much love to you guys

 

[Leigh Anne]

I'm thinking Tramadol metabolizes to something opiate-like, maybe Morphine?  It is a scheduled drug for a reason, and it is addictive....

 

[Leigh Anne]

Hey, Admin and 2earls,

i think we need to give an award for longest consecutive posts in the history of dbg!  Lol!

On a more serious note...thanks for sharing your stories guys.  Much love to you!  Lots and lots of love,  

Sorry I've written such long posts.  It's just that I have so much to say about the topic, and so few people I can talk to about it...Leigh Anne

please do not apologize. i was teasing you guys before, sorry if I gave the wrong impression.  If you have it to say, we are all here to listen and share our own knowledge.  Your posts will definitely help someone realize that they are not alone.  I can tell you, from my experience, not feeling alone is HUGE.  When I found this site three years ago I was broken with a nasty Tramadol habit.  Mydoctor told me it was non-addictive and I could not  understand why". When I lucked out...I found this site and realized that there were manymany people hooked as well.  That feeling of finding someone in the same boat as you, andi beng able to talk about it with so many people  was priceless.  Absolutely priceless.  So keep on sharing as much as you like!  We are all here to listen and share. That is what we are all about.  We even warn/suspend/ban people that are volatile on the site., We want to make everyone comfortble here, and to be able to share......ALL of it. 

much love to you guys

Thank you for the reassurance.  It is so nice to have a connection with people who understand the day to day struggles...

 

[Guest]

Hello everybody. I was wondering if anyone had some advice on how to deal with manic-depression/bi-polar disorder? I was never diagnosed by a doctor but believe I might be suffering from one of these illnesses. I've basically been feeling more or less depressed beginning about 15 years ago. When it first started I went from feeling great to feeling like a train wreck like the flick of a switch. This was a few months after I experimented with ecstacy(mdma). I remember doing it only once and then feeling good for several months after that, then I had this episode where I all of the sudden started having this insomnia for years. It was really brutal at first. I was getting little to no sleep for weeks on end, and it seems like years have passed and not much has change. I do sleep better now but I still have times when I wake up after only 3 hours of sleep and then can't fall asleep again. I'm always worried about whether I'm going to have a restless night. I keep hoping these feelings will pass but sometimes they get the better of me and I start feeling extremely paranoid and anxious. I hate to think the rest of my life will be this way. I'm on Celexa and Clonazepam, but I don't think they are really solving any of my problems. Anyway long story short it's been about 15 years since I've felt truly stable. I used to feel strong and confident but now I feel weak and helpless. My biggest fear is that I will feel this way for the rest of my life. Well if anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it. I have seen doctors by the way and brought up some of these issues but for the most part they weren't resolved. 

If you're Bipolar, you will not need to be on Benzos all your life, that's part of the treatment. My suggestion is that you find a doctor, and explain how you feel. You'll be put on mood stabilizers and antidepressants. They will help you to manage your symptoms, and get your life back. It's already past due for fifteen years. Good luck! If you have any questions or just want to let it it out, we -  or at least I - will be here.

 

[Leigh Anne]

If you're Bipolar, you will not need to be on Benzos all your life, that's part of the treatment. My suggestion is that you find a doctor, and explain how you feel. You'll be put on mood stabilizers and antidepressants. They will help you to manage your symptoms, and get your life back. It's already past due for fifteen years. Good luck! If you have any questions or just want to let it it out, we -  or at least I - will be here.

I think that antidepressants actually can throw you INTO a manic phase--that happened with my best friend and one of my nieces.  The mood stabilizer would be good, there are several out there, none of them scheduled high, and they are mostly really old drugs meaning your co-pay (if you're lucky enough to be insured) should be relatively inexpensive.  These two people I mention when they started just the mood stabilizer/s, experienced significant relief after maybe a week?  You won't likely see immediate results, but keep taking it, and one day soon, you'll realize that your focus is better, your mind has calmed somewhat, and on the occasions you would have confronted someone in the past, you'll be able to walk away.  My niece still has some anxiety, but her quality of life is much improved.  My BFF has had to live w/her parents as an adult waiting on disability, and she just doesn't even engage when her family want to argue--she may make a calm comment, and then walk away.  Before, the fights would escalate & escalate, and she would have to leave the house to find sanctuary somewhere else for a period of time.  She has also been able to start reading again--slow, but able to follow simple narrative and to be still/calm and not distracted.  The drugs they take are Tr!leptal (sp?), and Geodon(sp?).  You have to be consistent in taking the meds, it is not an instant fix, and remember that with any mental illness, the meds are about 40-50% of treatment--the rest is up to you (cut toxic people out, eat well, get sunshine as much as possible, exercise if you can and it doesn't have to be rigorous to get the endorphin boost).  The family MD is OK sometimes to start with & if the meds work, great.  If not, then you need a psychiatric consult.  No shame in getting help, and it really may improve your quality of life!  I know it's been a week since you wrote this, but I don't get on here often as I would like.  Best wishes!  Leigh Anne

 

[Guest]

@Leigh Anne

Hello,

Well, first of all which kind of Bipolar are we talking about? Type 2 can easily be treated with a small dose of SSRI, but rather they favor  SNRIs, nowadays, and something that balances the manic episodes out, like Lithium, or Depakote or if you're not a big fan of quite frequent blood tests, you could go with Lamictal. Bipolar 1 is a much severe form, as the manic episodes are much more intense, a longer-lasting, Sometimes months of hardcore mania, schizophrenia, hallucinations, and the depression is usually shorter lasting, but at least as severe as type 2's. Obviously I'd never spiked a Type 1 with a ton of anti-depressants, maybe I small amount of Apriprazole (Abilify) which is grate to prevent acute mania, paired with Lithium, or Depakote. I'm not an MD in psychiatry, but these are often prescribed meds for both conditions, statistics shows they work quite well.

the meds are about 40-50% of treatment--the rest is up to you (cut toxic people out, eat well, get sunshine as much as possible, exercise if you can and it doesn't have to be rigorous to get the endorphin boost

These is a great advice, as myself a Type 2, my depression is takes up about 80-85% of my illness, manic episodes are a couple days  months, quite short and mild. When I'm in that 80-85% for me is impossible to crawl out of bed, and do extra work. It totally drains me, I just want to shot the door on everybody and be alone in my room.

I can function great at work, of course mental illnesses are the worse, when you stop being busy, the outside stimuli reduce, and your mind starts to worry about usually nothing.  Well, that's all I could add from my experience, personal and professional. Hope your niece gets better soon!

 

[catnsdogz]

Experienced bond-fide bi-polar warrior here: It's super important to avoid fucking around with your serotonin and dopamine levels in a way that can trigger mania. Everyone is different but with us bipolars it isn't a  matter of if but when messing with s&d will make you manic - I find that my perfect combo of meds is as follows:

Effexor XR 225mg in the morning

Abilify - 15mg at night 

Xanax - 1mg PRN up to twice a day

Gabapentin 900mg at night 

The abilify was the real change though - I have been on depakote, lithium and seroquel and they made me stay alive but not be able to live...

If I needed to change my meds I would maybe add lithium but thats all. It sounds terrrible but if you stick to the extremelly high priced psych meds you'll be fine take the cheap stuff and you'll be fucked... look at zoloft ( you will have to take atleast 2 or 3 other medications just to get rid of the side effects ) Just my 2c.

 

[myalias]

I have bi polar(2), co-morbid with chronic pain. Has anyone else have a similar issue? If there is anyone interested I am willing to share more of my story.