What's the attraction of drugs?

[Ringo]

Hello everyone,

I am new here, so most people aren't familiar with me and my habits.

Thing is, I had experimented with many substances, almost a full spectrum. I did never tried hr0in, since I saw people using it and vomiting: didn't look like a very cool experience for me. I however did try opioids legally prescribed for the, and found side effects so unpleasant that didn't understand what pleasure can people find in them. 

I work crazily long hours and have little time to sleep, so here go uppers and downers. But their use is only to function: when I am on vacation, I rarely drink even coffee, and am not a fan of alcohol: maybe one cocktail, that's enough.

In general, there was no substance about which I couldn't say after trying: 'Not bad, but not as good as paragliding". Or another activity.

One exception to it is Special K. For some reason I liked it from the first try, and still like it now. Not to the point of addiction, but, if had an opportunity, would use it from time to time. I don't use powder: only liquid, pharmaceutical grade. 

But looks like it's not very popular. The only reliable vendor who has it has a brand I like the least and, in good old times, was getting only when good old stuff for animals wasn't available. Looks like nobody has it because of a low demand. 

Yes, I can live without it, and live happily. But I would like to have it from time to time. Because it's so cool. Because it takes me to a different world. This is the attraction I find. 

And what attraction other participants find in more popular stuff? I mean a purely recreational use, not a practical use.

 

[sweetmelissa589]

For myself, I have pretty severe anhedonia, social anxiety and just a low mood.  When I take different substances I actually feel happy... I actually feel good.  I'm able to talk and socialize with people freely and actually enjoy it.  It's hard to live everyday feeling like a zombie and not being able to feel happiness, sadness, to get pleasure out of the little and big things in life or even to just have some friends.  Different substances just make life a little easier for me.  I can't speak for others, as this is just my experience.  I guess if your one of those people that get enjoyment out daily living or even just life in general, than it would be hard to understand.  I do meditate, exercise and I am pretty much an optimistic, so I guess it's just the way I am made or perhaps my issues were caused by mental and physical abuse in my childhood.. Not sure, I just know that different substances make me feel what I would call... "normal".

 

[chchtwo]

@Ringo Have you tried any psychedelics?  They can feel good, feel fun, feel liberating, and you get to see some interesting stuff.  You control how far you go.

 

[Dickslapperman]

@chchtwo i used to love shrooms when I was 12-13 when I was down in MS we used to pick them and they were the only ones I could handle made me laugh like a maniac and visuals weren't overwhelming,but a few years ago I tried some that were grown indoor & Damn they were too much complete dysphoria!  I remember pouring orange juice in a glass it looked like it was pouring back in the box then the OJ box blew up I was laughing but my mom RIP was a clean freak so I was like omfg haha , besides that I sat in my room pondering on all the bad shit I did in my life opening doors in my brain it wasn't fun .only times ide try again if I was down in Mississippi picking those certain mushies with my good caring but crazy friends.as far as AZID its boring. But DMT everyone must try! I have severe anxiety and it didn't trigger any bad thoughts and it was quick I highly recommend.

Well that's my 2 cents

 

[Dickslapperman]

@Ringo I've always wanted to try K can you explain how it feels I know it's a dissociate and I hated dam made me throw up all friggin and was opposite of euphoria.

 

[chchtwo]

@Dickslapperman  It sounds like you had a bit of a fun time with caps, it can be extremely fun.  On the L_S_D, it sounds like you might not have tried the good stuff, maybe.  Some people just don't like it and it's not for them.  However, boring makes it sound like you need to find good A-c_id.  These 2 psychs have been what has been talked about the most for decades and are probably responsible the most usage/experimentation.  However, these are just the tip of the iceberg, there are so many other things that affect you in different ways.  Different flavors for your particular taste buds, if you know what I mean.  They require a decent amount of research and understanding  on your part.  It's best to have a cohort that is willing to join the festivities.  In some cases, you would take turns and "babysit" each other.  Honestly, the more, the merrier.  The more knowledge, the safer it will be.  I just put in my last post on Ch_anga a few days ago.  One its main ingredients is your friend, D_m_T, it's usually 30%-50% of the mixture.  The other main part is aya_huasca vine that has an MAOI in it that accentuates the experience and makes it last longer,  Usually, the fillers are just fun blends like Passion Flower, maybe some Blue Lotus.  To be clear, this is NOT a ayhua_sca trip , it's a profound D_M_T trip.  Every single person I have heard from and speaking from my own experience, it's actually a smoother experience than D_M_T , which already seems smooth to me,, less stressful with better visuals, and the best part, a very increased mental acuity.  I've not done it one time that I didn't learn some lesson, learn something about my life, solve problems unexpectedly, and many, many more things.  Also, you keep a clear head, strangely enough,  You can articulate your thoughts a lot better than usual, talk with others, etc..  Anyway, something to throw around  . . . 

Best of luck with the special.  Hopefully someone can explain the most positive aspects of the experience.  Many, many people enjoy the k.

My post is in the RC section:  Who offers/how much\changa\

Best of luck (I kind of wish I were you, discovering all these new things),

chctwo

 

[Kaykr1]

Hello everyone,

I am new here, so most people aren't familiar with me and my habits.

Thing is, I had experimented with many substances, almost a full spectrum. I did never tried hr0in, since I saw people using it and vomiting: didn't look like a very cool experience for me. I however did try opioids legally prescribed for the, and found side effects so unpleasant that didn't understand what pleasure can people find in them. 

I work crazily long hours and have little time to sleep, so here go uppers and downers. But their use is only to function: when I am on vacation, I rarely drink even coffee, and am not a fan of alcohol: maybe one cocktail, that's enough.

In general, there was no substance about which I couldn't say after trying: 'Not bad, but not as good as paragliding". Or another activity.

One exception to it is Special K. For some reason I liked it from the first try, and still like it now. Not to the point of addiction, but, if had an opportunity, would use it from time to time. I don't use powder: only liquid, pharmaceutical grade. 

But looks like it's not very popular. The only reliable vendor who has it has a brand I like the least and, in good old times, was getting only when good old stuff for animals wasn't available. Looks like nobody has it because of a low demand. 

Yes, I can live without it, and live happily. But I would like to have it from time to time. Because it's so cool. Because it takes me to a different world. This is the attraction I find. 

And what attraction other participants find in more popular stuff? I mean a purely recreational use, not a practical use.

 
[SIZE=14pt]I was close minded and cut people out of my life who were on hate drugs and H since I was told my former best friend WD nearly 30 times & would laugh and say “I’m like a cat with 9 lives” when I was around 21 I was naive/an idiot & tried H (yes the worst way ) but I got disgusted in myself the next day and that was that. Didn’t crave it I was simply so turned off and let down that I did that. Not even a head later I did it once more (long story there ) but that was it. (This was 2011-2012) people always asked me how did u not get addicted and I still don’t have an answer , I just remember feeling like so ashamed and like complete trash and from then I’m I kept to my opinions and stuck to my boundaries . [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt]Now it’s 2018 In April thru July my life was beyond anything some people could imagine  w/ 2 car accidents in 3 days (the 3rd day was  my rental )and a DWI at 730 in the morn during one accident cus I was groggy from prescribed sleep meds) I also had DRC clon in my system since I was ordering from them constantly for about 2 yes I noticed my motor skills got so messed up I thought I was having a mental breakdown and losing my mind. Then my car got stolen from the body shop and found totaled out it was so sketch but I did not have the extra money to press charges. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt] Anyway back to July .. I am in a 5 year relationship and we were on the verge of calling it quits due to his lack of progress and communication.. I was vulnerable as hell and for a coworker. I did not know at this time he had a horrible addiction to H (just thought it was speed ) and before this (I never even seen speed in person)he was there for me and  was exactly the type of person I always needed that I made a deal with him that I’d help him get sober but he had to promise me cus i have (at the time he was 8 year old ) boy. In the process of trying to get him sober I got so frustrated over the lies I said “fuck it I might as tell make myself guilty too” and at the end  of Aug/Sept I let myself become addicted to the one thing I JUST had strong  options about . But dealing with the split of a 5 year relationship and how it effected my son, my house in pre/foreclosure (now it’s in foreclosure) my friends too busy with their own lives that I eventually stopped talking with them all together... I felt like the biggest hypocrites (and no just so u guys know I never used needles during this time ) never even crossed my mind . With the DWI still pending and all my  money going to the devil drug I finally last month (March 9th) I finally got the courage to detox (for those who know what withdrawals are like you understand why I was legit scared as hell) i work weekdays; never ever call in cus I need the money now they’re strict. so I had two days of just laying in bed miserable in unrealistic pain & terrible cold sweats etc (slept majority of the time I have no idea how) ok this is getting long so let me wrap this up.. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt]this is why I’m so desperate for clon (even tho it’s screwed up my tolerance on any other benzos ) cus my bf still uses & i am round him almost daily. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt]Yesbi know ppl  say to stay away from the source the enablers etc but easier said than done when I honestly care about him and have horrible codependency issues and nobody in my real life as support: aside from him even tho he’s still using my mom thinks and told me in txt I’m a terrible person two days ago (Just to give you an example ... ) shes treats me horrible (no worries cus i am used to it) [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt]Anyway this whole process is long & hard as HELL  for those who can relate &understand guess  my little story turned into a dang novel on how the devil drug took over when I never thought it would. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt]Sorry for the rant. Thanks for anyone who has time to read this as well. Take care guys - Kay[/SIZE]

 

[2earls]

@Kaykr1 I read your story and while I don't solicit donations from members, in your case it could be well worth the effort. If Klons are important to your well being then by donating you will have many vendors who have them and ones that can get it to you quickly.

Of course you are very welcome here donation or not, I was just thinking it might make life easier for you. 

I can relate to your story. There was a period in my life when the bottom fell out and I lost my home, job, health, savings, and relationship of over 10 years. It was awful and I would not wish that kind of misery on anyone.

The only good thing about these horrible times is that when they are over, you appreciate everything so much more. And most likely are a nicer person too, because you don't judge people in the same way as when you thought those things could never happen to you.

Time will tell if your BF is really the one for you or whether you are only with him due to the circumstances. I'm happily married now and wish I had left that long term relationship sooner, but hindsight is always 20/20 as they say.

 

[Ipon]

"What's the attraction to drugs?" You are going to find my story to be quite different than the average seeker. I remember it all started for me one day when I was a Freshman in HS. I was looking  through a magazine and I came across a cigarette ad. For some odd reason it clicked in my head that this is the route I need to take to shorten my lifespan so, I got started. It didn't matter what substance it was. If I believed it would shorten my time on Earth I was all for it. My plan was to have a long and fun journey on my way out. So, from the time I was fourteen until the age of thirty three I did everything from the basic entry level stuff all the up to absolutely crazy things like freon from AC units. This is about where my party lifestyle ended as I started to develop insane panic attacks that kept me permanently home bound. But, even through all that drug use there was never an addiction or a withdraw. It was a motivation like a quest. Once the panic attacks set in I gave up everything from cigarettes , 420 , alcohol and everything. It was not until I was put on a benzo that I truly discovered what being dependent was and the realization didn't even hit me until d0ct0rz all the sudden turned off the supply. At this point I'm sure you've all figured out that I'm severely depressed and my life revolves around the if's and's or but's on if I'll be able to get my next supply of "you know what". I am just so desperate to avoid WD. Sometimes I try to taper but, I just end up realizing that it's the only thing that is keeping me functional. It rates higher on a scale of importance than food even. Which is fine with me because I use extreme intermittent fasting also as a means of shortening the timeline. I'm so worn out from all the uncertainty and the circle I'm stuck in. It is so, ironic that the one and only substance I used to try to help me has become my potential undoing.

 

[aintnouse]

The attraction of drugs.....I dont think there is enough room on the page for me to describe the love/hate relationship I have with drugs.   I do them because they feel good.  I have done pretty much everything under the sun and at different times of my life, different drugs were used.   I started with haish and I instantly fell in love....music was better, sex was better, socializing was better and I got to hang out with the cool kids and then I eventually became a cool kid.  I then tried ELsd and once again it was love at first dose.  Imagine laughing for 6 hours straight and not having a care in the world....Sounds like fun doesnt it?  I used various psychedelics from 18 to about 28.  I loved the warmth, beauty, visuals, and overall mind blowing experiences they afforded me.  I also bonded with some of my closest friends over a couple hits of blotter.  I remember watching Rfk stadium shake as the Grateful Dead ripped through "Scarlet Begonias".  Simply beautiful!  I stopped psychedelics when I reached a point where I had to much information in my brain.  Too much information can lead to bad times and since I never had a bad trip, I didnt want to start having them at my age, so I stopped.  Then came  Cocayne......everything everyone ever said about her is true.  Shes fun until shes not!!  On and off for 10 years and boy it was fun.  Imagine being superman, with the ability to socialize, stay up late, drink like a fish and scoring the hottest chick at the party.  Thats what she's like.    Next up.....the best of the best Opeeeates....simply put, amazing.  You feel the warmth spread over your body like you are getting a massage from a super model with magic hands.....like everything else, they are fun until they are not.  

Yes I wrote a paragraph that seems to glamorize usage but thats how I feel.   I always liked having a little secret that nobody else knows except for a few of your closest friends.  I  liked having a shit eating grin while my mind is on a roller coaster of pleasure and everyone is confused as to why I am so happy.   I have little regret over my past, even though there are some things I would have done differently.  I would not recommend anyone else undertake the journey as I have described it because it was not always sunshine and lollipops.  There are dark days and not so fun times, but the good outweighed the bad.  Oh and I spent a shit ton of money     

Names have been changed in this story to protect the innocent.   

@Ringo Good luck with whatever you decide to do and be safe!

 

[chchtwo]

@Kaykr1 I have a long history of benzo use and severe addition, specifically to xans.  I won't go into it, I posted already, but over the course of many yearrs, came around full circle and my doc prescribed me .5 mg Klons.  The seem to affect me slightly differently in a good way.  I am able to manage the script and most of the time, when I run out before the ninety days, I stop with very little side effects.  I do, sometimes bridge the gap, with other benzos , depending on my state of mind.  But it's always okay.   The combo of the low dosage and Klon work great for me and I don't have the desire to pop them excessively.  I was hesitant at first, but finally realized, I got this.  When things get super crazy and I'm still in some mania state, I will take another one.  For me, they are take as needed.  Forget about the whole "take 1/2/3 per day thing,"  take them as needed.  When I see the instructions on taking the same amount daily, that just reminds me of addiction.  I do take other meds, but the benzo, at a low doage, has worked very well for me compared to all others.  It holds a special place in my life, along with tranxene, which got me off of xans.  My best advice is stay away from benzo addition, it's not an easy scenario to get out of.  However, the Klon is my sweet spot.   Lasttly, you have you HAVE to be able to manage the script overall.  If you can't, don't do it and speak with your doctor.  Taking an extra one or two on an irregular basis is ok.  All the time, no.  Best remedy of all, get a shrink and speak honestly with them.  They will help.

Best of luck,

chctwo

 

[mountaincat9]

I agree with @aintnouse.  I love skiing on the powder....everything about it.  It is a happy place for me which I need right now.  Maybe someday it won't make me so happy but for now it's my doc.  I too spent a butt load of money that looking back makes me sick.  Would I do it again........YES!!!!!

So my attraction to drugs is love/hate with more love sprinkled in at this time.  I too get a small jolt knowing my little secret that know one else knows.  That little something I have to look forward to every couple of hours.  That plus my boyfriend EZ makes for a perfect day!!!

 

[chchtwo]

@Kaykr1 I have a long history of benzo use and severe addition, specifically to xans.  I won't go into it, I posted already, but over the course of many yearrs, came around full circle and my doc prescribed me .5 mg Klons.  The seem to affect me slightly differently in a good way.  I am able to manage the script and most of the time, when I run out before the ninety days, I stop with very little side effects.  I do, sometimes bridge the gap, with other benzos , depending on my state of mind.  But it's always okay.   The combo of the low dosage and Klon work great for me and I don't have the desire to pop them excessively.  I was hesitant at first, but finally realized, I got this.  When things get super crazy and I'm still in some mania state, I will take another one.  For me, they are take as needed.  Forget about the whole "take 1/2/3 per day thing,"  take them as needed.  When I see the instructions on taking the same amount daily, that just reminds me of addiction.  I do take other meds, but the benzo, at a low doage, has worked very well for me compared to all others.  It holds a special place in my life, along with tranxene, which got me off of xans.  My best advice is stay away from benzo addition, it's not an easy scenario to get out of.  However, the Klon is my sweet spot.   Lasttly, you have you HAVE to be able to manage the script overall.  If you can't, don't do it and speak with your doctor.  Taking an extra one or two on an irregular basis is ok.  All the time, no.  Best remedy of all, get a shrink and speak honestly with them.  They will help.

Best of luck,

chctwo

 

[Kaykr1]

@Kaykr1 I read your story and while I don't solicit donations from members, in your case it could be well worth the effort. If Klons are important to your well being then by donating you will have many vendors who have them and ones that can get it to you quickly.

Of course you are very welcome here donation or not, I was just thinking it might make life easier for you. 

I can relate to your story. There was a period in my life when the bottom fell out and I lost my home, job, health, savings, and relationship of over 10 years. It was awful and I would not wish that kind of misery on anyone.

The only good thing about these horrible times is that when they are over, you appreciate everything so much more. And most likely are a nicer person too, because you don't judge people in the same way as when you thought those things could never happen to you.

Time will tell if your BF is really the one for you or whether you are only with him due to the circumstances. I'm happily married now and wish I had left that long term relationship sooner, but hindsight is always 20/20 as they say.

I get paid today. I can attempt to donate if anyone would guide me on how to? I just never used bitcoin (spent hours years ago attempting ). Thank you for ur reply and I am overly nice which tends to get walked all over cus I am a push over and don’t have a strong  Personality . Not assertive at all etc   

 

[chchtwo]

As far as the thread subject.  I think it starts with wanting to feel good, then it's kind of I want to feel good and escape, then it's I want to feel good, escape, and not feel bad.  When you get into the not feel bad too much, that's not good.  That's when you should truly address it with a doctor.  I've been doing all of this for a long time and I have enjoyed everything.  I don't often regret any of these.  I have fond memories.  The only thing I do regret, is the nice chunk of life that xans stole from me.  Can't even remember much.  The only thing I have never pushed or, in this  case, tried is the needle.  The H.  I'm not sure where the resistance came from, but had to have been when I was a kid..  I was strong enough to turn down opportunities, stay away from those types of environments, thankfully.  A road that only had heartache, pain, and even death . . . avoided.  Kind of surprises me, but I'm thankful.  Anyway, my 2 cents.

regards,

chctwo

 

[Hammerblow]

Like almost everyone here. I don’t think I have enough room or time to go into the attraction of drugs. I have an addictive personality that over time I’ve lestned to control but that rabbit hole will always be there. I grew up in the perfect loving family and I couldn’t ask for more. Except my mum was a manic depressive and suicidal...very suicidal. I unfortunately walked into scenes that I shouldn’t have at such a young age m, scenes out of a horror movie basically. I would always act like it was ok but I used drugs as a was to suppress what I was feeling. This only really came out a few years ago when my marriage was going to shit and I was deep with the benzos. I hadn’t confronted what made me enjoy alllll the drugs. And it is just drugs I haven’t ever been attracted to alcohol. 

Now im at a place where I can control my benzo intake and obviously I’m on steroids as those who know me know that’s what I do but that story is for a different day. I don’t touch anything else but I take enough of what I enjoy to escape a couple of times a week I feel if you don’t then, shit how can you exsist! Life is wearing at times and you just kinda have too. 

Rx

 

[chchtwo]

Also, I think that all of these trials and tibs have left me with psychedelics as my go to now..  They have no strings attached, push it as far as you want to go, it will warn you when it's too far, and no addictions.  As much as you try to control it, it has the rulebook to enforce everything .  That's my feel good now, my experimentation.

regards

chctwo

 

[aintnouse]

@chchtwo    Sage advice regarding the benzos.   I was using 3-4 mgs a day for about a year and a half and quitting those was the most arduous task one could ask for.  I realize that my dosage was small compared to most people but they really screwed up the receptors in my brain.  It took me a good 8 months of abstention before I felt close to normal.  The rebound depression, anxiety I experienced was very intense.  My Dr told me that for most people a year of benzo use will take a year to overcome.  For some people that will be more for some that will be less and the detox is very uncomfortable to say the least.  Out of everything I have ever quit, the benzos were the hardest.    

I only did H a couple of times and holy shit that was fun.  I was mixing it with a little yayo and I had a blast.  I was going to Fla to see Van Halen for their reunion tour like 8 years ago or something.  Earth, Wind and Fire opened up and I had an absolute blast.  That was my first and last time I dabbled with that but I could definitely see the attraction.....until the destruction sets in!!

 

[chchtwo]

@aintnouse Yeah, benzos are sneaky and scary, looking back. Especially since there aren't that many real horror stories floating around in regular society.  They make it seem like it's such a normal path to take.  Doctor's don't help the cause, in my opinion, by liberally prescribing them without a huge warning.  I am really glad to hear you are past it.  It's huge.    Congratz.

Best regards,

chctwo