What's the attraction of drugs?

[Kaykr1]

@Kaykr1 I read your story and while I don't solicit donations from members, in your case it could be well worth the effort. If Klons are important to your well being then by donating you will have many vendors who have them and ones that can get it to you quickly.

Of course you are very welcome here donation or not, I was just thinking it might make life easier for you. 

I can relate to your story. There was a period in my life when the bottom fell out and I lost my home, job, health, savings, and relationship of over 10 years. It was awful and I would not wish that kind of misery on anyone.

The only good thing about these horrible times is that when they are over, you appreciate everything so much more. And most likely are a nicer person too, because you don't judge people in the same way as when you thought those things could never happen to you.

Time will tell if your BF is really the one for you or whether you are only with him due to the circumstances. I'm happily married now and wish I had left that long term relationship sooner, but hindsight is always 20/20 as they say.

Appreciate you taking the time to read and value your input. It’s good to hear knowing people can relate ... glad things are better for you these days.

As they always say bad times  cannot last forever ... 

 

[Ringo]

@sweetmelissa589  I am one of those weirdos who is a natural loner. I just like being alone, traveling alone, dining out alone. I don't know if this is a social anxiety, but I feel very uncomfortable at parties and avoid them by any price. Maybe certain drugs could change it, but being alone is my comfort zone. My ideal vacation is on an inhabited island with no cell phone reception and no noises made by people. It's just a how I am, and l am like this as long as I can remember , since childhood. I grew up in a Northeast Europe, and when I was a kid wanted to be a forester in the most remote area.

@chchtwo No, I am afraid, because results are too unpredictable. 

 

[chchtwo]

No worries @Ringo , they aren't for everyone.  In addition, many people have unpleasant experiences at some point, including myself.  I would think that going into a trip feeling super anxious or freaked out is not the best way.  It's all about state of mind.  Best of luck exploring!

Best regards,

chctwo

 

[Ringo]

@Dickslapperman  if you had such a reaction to other dissociatives K is likely to make you vomit, too. So I don't  think you will enjoy it. Experience varies from one person to another.

I was using it IV. I am not going to be specific, but if you use this way, you have to prepare everything you need, because it acts fast. And of course you need skills. I inject, and I have literally seconds to apply pressure bandaid and lay down, before I go to another world. 

IV use was the brightest trip with the minimal amount of the substance. But if you don't have skills or don't have someone skilled with you, IM was also good. 

Again, my experimenting was a very long time ago, in a country where K was legal and not scheduled. And this is only my experience. Yours may be very different, even negative. Taken into account that K is controlled here, think twice and then twice again.

 

[Nitetrain]

For myself, I have pretty severe anhedonia, social anxiety and just a low mood.  When I take different substances I actually feel happy... I actually feel good.  I'm able to talk and socialize with people freely and actually enjoy it.  It's hard to live everyday feeling like a zombie and not being able to feel happiness, sadness, to get pleasure out of the little and big things in life or even to just have some friends.  Different substances just make life a little easier for me.  I can't speak for others, as this is just my experience.  I guess if your one of those people that get enjoyment out daily living or even just life in general, than it would be hard to understand.  I do meditate, exercise and I am pretty much an optimistic, so I guess it's just the way I am made or perhaps my issues were caused by mental and physical abuse in my childhood.. Not sure, I just know that different substances make me feel what I would call... "normal".

Your post hit home because of your last sentence!  You simply  “ feel normal”.  I was physically in some degree of pain growing up. I just ate aspirin then tylenol & it was at age 23, in college, I was given my first “drug”. It was an endocet #3. Eventhough it was rx. because of an injury the effects made me feel normal...I was truly w/out discomfort for the first time in my life. I came across a British philosopher named Dr. David Pearce ( you can search him)  because I’m not sure of posting copyrighted material. He’s done biological/chemical/medical philosophical research for years. He’s worth reading. The first words to one of his studies are...

”There is a significant minority of people who never feel truly well WITHOUT OPIODS”...he then explains how our brains opioid receptors work and describes the legitimacy of some peoples need for opiates just like diabetics need insulin.  It’s not about addiction and all the negativity surrounding opiates. Physically I now know why I feel the way I do. It was only after reading Dr. Pearce I stopped feeling guilty and stopped explaining myself! 

 

[Nitetrain]

https://www.hedweb.com/opioids/future/index.html

Link to article by Dr. David Peaerce mentioned above.

 

[Contressa]

Drugs give temporary relief to the pangs of depression life brings. I used f3nt for many years, and honestly, it was the happiest I’ve ever been. I was always stress free, I reconnected with family I had long lost touch with, and really felt like I was a much more well rounded person. That being said, it nearly killed me on more than on occasion, sent me to rehab multiple times, and burnt bridges and caused an extreme amount of embarrassment and shame to my family and I. Nothing good last forever, and I personally paid back all the great times I had with a great deal of grief an order of magnitude larger than it was worth. 

I also have tried benzos for my anxiety. Some of the stuff out here today is unreal. Way too strong to control anxiety and use responsibly, at least for me. I would do things I’d never think of doing sober, and instead of lessening my anxiety it just made me an asshole. 

The just of it is, it makes me feel good for awhile. It takes away my worries about things out of my control, like my car transmission slipping, or my phone falling and cracking. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it to anyone though. It’s putting a bandaid on a gunshot 

 

[tellme]

As @Hammerblow beautifully put, I might also be from addictive nature. Initially, I searched the internet for substances that would help me deal with social anxiety, depression and chronic sleep disorder. It didn't take long before I found out that self-medicating only worsens things. Also, I wanted to find something entertaining, something to party, something that would be a promise for fun.

I ended up with a gram of MDPV every Friday. That thing made me super nervous and paranoid but I still took it until it was finally scheduled. I didn't notice any withdrawal effects. The next best thing I liked was Butylone for socializing and listening to music. I once tried a Tryptamine, a 5-Meo-Something that made everything look so colorful and round, like the world was a comic book. That was nice! Then I took a break for a year until one day I started thinking about research chemicals again, googled them and ordered various products, always hoping to receive something that would colorize the grayish everyday-life. Most of the time I just felt bad after taking something, but would still repeat taking it. So where is the attraction hiding? Behind my dumbness, I guess.

 

[Bren45]

There are those that seek substances for pleasure, and those that seek them for medical conditions in which their doctor will not prescribe, and they have no choice but to buy them elsewhere as their doctor won’t help.

I am fully dependent on Kl0nopon, but I tried every med under the sun for 5 years and the only one that worked was this one.

if it wasn’t for this med, I wouldn’t be able to work and support my family. I am trying to bring my dose down as it is very high, but I get NO pleasure from drugs. I take them so I can sit at a desk and not freak out and have a panic attack. I would rather live a life dependent on a med than to be stuck in my house with anxiety so bad I cannot leave. I get no high off of this, it just brings me back to normal. I got Lyme disease about a decade ago and ever since, panic attacks and depersonalization became daily. 
So these meds may be hell to some and I understand the risks, the dependency, withdrawal etc but I like to feel normal, and this is my only option or else I get disability and cannot afford to support my family and pay bills.

 

[Rec]

I totally agree with the above comments who has the right to say that addiction overcome s feeling normal and being able to provide for your family and life I know I am right in my decision to be on meds till the end the other is so much worse some people have such anxiety due to bad experience s in life growing up and can't get past that so meds outway the addiction side of life, problem is the docs don't get it arhhh.

 

[Hardtackone]

Butylone or DiButylone ...anyone???

 

[mollywop]

The attraction is they provide a new experience or a new perspective on an old one, personally prefer to use smaller amounts as its far more manageable and it lets you focus on what your doing and what your feeling instead of just the latter.

 

[Deleted member 26997]

"What's the attraction to drugs?" You are going to find my story to be quite different than the average seeker. I remember it all started for me one day when I was a Freshman in HS. I was looking through a magazine and I came across a cigarette ad. For some odd reason it clicked in my head that this is the route I need to take to shorten my lifespan so, I got started. It didn't matter what substance it was. If I believed it would shorten my time on Earth I was all for it. My plan was to have a long and fun journey on my way out. So, from the time I was fourteen until the age of thirty three I did everything from the basic entry level stuff all the up to absolutely crazy things like freon from AC units. This is about where my party lifestyle ended as I started to develop insane panic attacks that kept me permanently home bound. But, even through all that drug use there was never an addiction or a withdraw. It was a motivation like a quest. Once the panic attacks set in I gave up everything from cigarettes , 420 , alcohol and everything. It was not until I was put on a benzo that I truly discovered what being dependent was and the realization didn't even hit me until d0ct0rz all the sudden turned off the supply. At this point I'm sure you've all figured out that I'm severely depressed and my life revolves around the if's and's or but's on if I'll be able to get my next supply of "you know what". I am just so desperate to avoid WD. Sometimes I try to taper but, I just end up realizing that it's the only thing that is keeping me functional. It rates higher on a scale of importance than food even. Which is fine with me because I use extreme intermittent fasting also as a means of shortening the timeline. I'm so worn out from all the uncertainty and the circle I'm stuck in. It is so, ironic that the one and only substance I used to try to help me has become my potential undoing.

Escape from the world we live in, the stresses, the squares, the hate, the death. Drugs are for feeling better if not plain ole different. But thas just one reason im attracted to drugs for the last 50 years and till the day i die. Loaded. Its soooo good when you have the time of few responsibilities. So make yourself some, pass it aloong. Dont shuck your resp&oblig just find some time without em every now and again. Living. Dig it.

 

[webothgetout]

tw

----------
I started bc teenage trauma to deal with everything. once was 18 the OC80s were everywhere. during my 20s i tried so many times to have a religious experiences on every diff psych i could find, never worked.

Now the attraction is it was my first major coping skill. Through years of therapy i can get very upset and tell myself "no" but 10 years ago it was like i was on autopilot.

My goal is to be off of everything that i take daily and only indulge here and there. weaning off my psych meds and trying to maintain good sleep, eat well, and journal. i want to start exercising and meditating but starting new stuff is daunting sometimes and idk where to start.

tldr: i do drugs bc it's how i know how to get by

 

[webothgetout]

for mental health, besides healthy lifestyle, i really believe 2-4x per year combo of disso, mdma, and lsd or shrooms, in a loving environment is better than all the pharma rx in the world.

 

[Hardtackone]

BU wwe all iknow real name DI MDP.....v But Buytlone or DI-Butylone only smokable and it blow crystal away!

 

[Deleted member 44465]

For myself, I have pretty severe anhedonia, social anxiety and just a low mood. When I take different substances I actually feel happy... I actually feel good. I'm able to talk and socialize with people freely and actually enjoy it. It's hard to live everyday feeling like a zombie and not being able to feel happiness, sadness, to get pleasure out of the little and big things in life or even to just have some friends. Different substances just make life a little easier for me. I can't speak for others, as this is just my experience. I guess if your one of those people that get enjoyment out daily living or even just life in general, than it would be hard to understand. I do meditate, exercise and I am pretty much an optimistic, so I guess it's just the way I am made or perhaps my issues were caused by mental and physical abuse in my childhood.. Not sure, I just know that different substances make me feel what I would call... "normal".

Set, Setting, dosage, body weight, ETC. all play into having a good time reading books on that subject

 

[Deleted member 44465]

for mental health, besides healthy lifestyle, i really believe 2-4x per year combo of disso, mdma, and lsd or shrooms, in a loving environment is better than all the pharma rx in the world.

Lol i changed the disso part to like once or twice a week. cid though or shrooms SET AND FUCKING SETTING decides what you will learn from the trip. So, like exposure therapy take cid and confront fears, character defects should be done internally. If your scared of heights or talking to that chick that's sexy asf(sorry ladies) I would choose to meditate on it, don't actually confront it. Lol