Yikes

Akup7ich

Grand Poobah
Grand Poobah
Joined
Aug 21, 2014
Messages
1,331
Ok so all of my close friend s are gone or out of state. So I feel close to this forum.

Here it goes..out of the blue a neighbor of mine that I haven't had more than 20 minutes of communication with pops over. In 3 years

I am 44 and my husband is 37 . We are going on our 10 yr anniversary. Anywho she is a cute thing. Lives behind us. Recently sha has become extremely small. She was already. Apperantly her husband is not thre anymore.

She asked to come into backyard and hang out. So I am like cool been awhile since I had some girl time. Turns out she is 32 no bigge but she is in shock I am 44. Have freckles and I look younger. 

Basivally she seems kinda out of it but we talk. She says husband left her but she has restraining orde. He has sczophina . Al of a sudden she asks me if I am insecure or basically applies I am. She. Says ' hey I am going to go in and give your husband the 'what for' I say for what? She says just trust me. I say my husband is shy and won't like ie. she says stay with my dog. Goes into my house. I wait a few minutes feeling weird. Go in saying I have to pee. She is leaning side by side with him in our back hallway. They are staring at each others phone. She runs out .

My husband said that was freaky and is having slight panic attack. He can't remember much of what she said. He had been drinking and truly gets uncomfortable with awkwardness. But... Then says she asked him who our relationship is and was showing him pics of this and that.

I wrnt back out. She ran off. Next day she. Came over when I was not home. She gave my husband some zucchini. For our dinner she says. Her dog tries to come in my husband says. He said he politely told her I would be back later.

aM I CraZY Or is this chick TRYIng SOMETHing! Ofcourse now I am fighting with my husband. ANd I am the bad guy! ? 

I know this is my side and view. But anyone have similar experience or any objective advice? 

Thanks guys!

 
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It's a no brainer that something not right I'd going on here. She seems to be attempting to "cut your grass".  Bringing him dinner? Really? No way,  that isn't appropriate. She isn't welcome in my view. Or shouldn't be made welcome. 

 
Actually I have had a similar experience. We had a new female neighbor move in and right away she had a plumbing problem with no hot water and my is a plumber and fixed it. Normal neighborly help.

Unfortunately, next she needed her garage door fixed and when he suggested that he would do it for a small fee, she offered a 12 pack of beer. He doesn't drink.

Then her kid started knocking on our door and he started fixing her toys (who says no to a kid?).

This went on and on until it became unbearable. When she asked me to send him over to set up her DVR, I told her to read the instructions, but I wanted to tell her to find her own man.

Sounds like you should tell your neighbor that!

 
Thank you guys, I just want to nip it in the but. And now I am aware of her as where I wasn't focused on it before. So is my husband.  Just that we can see her thru the back fence when she is out there. Ugh .. 

I will get over it. I was also sad because I thought she wanted to be a friend not a relationship tornado. 

 
It definitely isn't right or called for, what she's doing. But it's a good think your other half is wary of her and doesn't seem to appreciate her being around, it means it will be easier to distance yourself from her.

I do understand and sympathise with people with mental instabilities, but I think in this case it would be good to disregard any sympathy and gradually withdraw...as in, don't respond much to her questions, don't get engaged in conversation etc

It's horrible what she's doing, but I doubt she'll have any luck! My only worry is her getting angry and possibly aggressive, judging from what you've said; that's what you might have to be aware of when backing away from her. I know it's sad losing a potential friend but she sounds like she'd cause more harm than good.

Sorry if I haven't helped much, but I do hope it works out okay for you.

 
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