Clonazepam Withdrawal

[Phrenicz]

Good to have you back Muffin!!! Was worried there for a while??

Glad you conquered the Cl@naz!!! Which in itself, is quite inspirational

A very happy ~P~

 

[CoryAndTrevor]

Welcome back Lemon! Way to go! Good to hear you're doing well

 

[cherry]

SOOOO happy to hear from you, Lemon! /default_smile.png  And so proud of you for going through with the withdrawal! Wow! I'm sure it wasn't easy- but you should be very proud that you did it! I don't have the strength to attempt it any time soon- but you are an inspiration. /default_wink.png  Maybe someday when you're feeling much better- you can share some of your story and what helped you get through it? /default_wink.png 

I was worried about you- I felt so bad for you! So I'm very pleased to hear you're doing ok! Take care! /default_smile.png

 

[Lemon Muffin]

Thank you!

I sometimes miss how the Clonazepam made me feel, but I don't miss being on it. It was so difficult to break away from. I cannot imagine how much worse it would have been if I had stayed on it longer.

At first, I slept a lot. I had no idea what day or time it was. I was being pretty liberal with the Ativan. I finally realized that, while it was helping me cope, it wasn't helping me move forward. I was either a zombie or an emotional wreck. I cut back a lot, which is when the worst of it came. I mostly stayed in bed. I had muscle twitches and spasms. I saw these weird black things out of the corner of my eye. I felt like I was going crazy. I felt so uncomfortable, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was one of the worst things I have had to go through in my life.

The bulk of it was FINALLY over, but I had 'aftershocks' for a while. I had no idea when it would end. At one point, I was convinced it wouldn't. I wish I had some sage advice to pass along, but I don't. It was horrible. My mom was amazing, though. She basically took care of my son while I was detoxing. Aside from that, there isn't anything I feel I have to offer in the way of helping someone else go through it.

I feel more like it happened to me than I chose it, but I am just glad that it's over. So if anyone is genuinely considering it, I applaud you for that. I wouldn't have chosen to do it, because it felt so amazing to be on Clonazepam. I will say that I feel more like me now, for whatever that's worth. I'm not floating through my general anxiety, which I have mixed feelings about. I have to deal with it, instead of hide from it.

Anyway, thank you (again). I have a lot of work and stuff to catch up on, so it might take me a bit to get back into the routine of posting. I will try to check in more, at least, even if I don't have much to say.

 

[Lemon Muffin]

@cherry: Believe it or not, after the worst of it was over, I thought of you. I kept reminding myself to come back if/when it ended, because you (and others) might think I died or something.

I stayed away from communication, for the most part, because that just seemed too stressful. I kind of feel like a baby deer now, learning how to cope with the most minor things. It makes me feel really pathetic sometimes. Part of me KNOWS I'll be okay, but the rest of me goes into panic mode. I really, really hate anxiety.

 

[cherry]

aww, how sweet! it was such a relief when you did finally check in! 

but i totally understand. even when i'm out of meds for a day or 2, i don't want to talk to anybody. even if i attempt to- i have trouble comprehending what others are saying and my brain mostly shuts down so i have trouble completing a sentence. i stay away from the boards too. even if i have meds and i'm just feeling depressed or something- i'm not online much. 

you'll be ok! over time, it should get easier and easier. and like i said elsewhere- it would be a good idea for you to look into finding other ways to manage your anxiety. good luck! /default_smile.png

 

[cavzfan5012]

Lemon,

I'm new to this site but quite experienced with kpin wd. I've dabbled with drugs but benzos, kpin mostly were at first the answer to all my problems and then became a nightmare. Out of all the withdrawals benzo wd is the worse, sheer hell. Unlike you lemon I havent been strong enough to fully kick the kpins but have had small periods of success. What worked really well in once instance was gabapentin, it's a nerve pill but it's prescribed for a lot of things and non-narcotic so it's easily to get. Another thing that worked ok was the supplement l-theanine in large doses it did help, and I'm wary of the herbal/supplemental route to solve anxiety. One last thing, everyone is different but I was told it takes a year to get back to normal. Obviously you get progressively better. That's the one thing that stops me from kicking this stuff to the curb is the length of time I'm not going to be up to par. Well good luck to all you guys trying to get off the benzos.

 

[jules]

Very sorry for the long post!! I posted this originally under "Addiction and Withdrawal" but this is exactly what I am worried about and don't know what to do about. I don't want to have a seizure or Heart Attack!!! 

Well, here I am again, to my disappointment. I am so very sorry to those who cared enough to reply to my prior post. I hope I have not disappointed anyone. HOWEVER, as I started out, I have disappointed the one really, really matters and that is me. This is about those stupid klonnies. Not only have I not tapered off, I have increased almost double!!!! I go into tears when I think about how much that is   /default_sad.png !!

How it turned out that way is a stupid story of me listening to people I should not have saying things like "they are weaker when you order from this part of the world, then, oh no, they are weaker in another part of the world. In my head, I believed it!! My last increase was the worse. Remember, I said I was at 15mg? Well, somehow I increased to 19 mg and then (now at my peak of 21 mg!!!!) TWENTY ONE MG OF KLONNIES!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO DO???

When I think about it, I cannot even fathom that amount!!! I am taking FIVE TIMES what I am supposed to be. It all started when airmailchemist went under and I started to order from here, and there, etc.

My "usual vendor" (just over the border), I could count on to keep me in stock. At the same time, I ordered from somewhere else overseas, on and on. I emailed the vendor across the border because I found myself "going to give out" in SIX days. To my shock, he does not have klonnies anymore! He said  he had a different supplier and sent me a new list of what he now has. I will have to do some research to find out if Alpr@zol@m would be a decent "taper off" benzo....He has those. But I have to make it super fast!!!

If anyone has any ideas that could possibly help me. I PROMISE I will listen. I don't want to get to this point again. I don't know whether to turn myself in to Rehab or my doctor - but once again, IT WOULD RUIN MY LIFE. I am scared to death!!! The facts are: 1) I have four days left to make the "21 mg's" -- I have an endless supply of 4 mg a day--because they are prescribed (if that helps).

And that's my story....from bad to worse!! I had better start doing some research!

Thanks to the compassionate people on the board!

Jules

 

[Roger]

[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

Very sorry for the long post!! I posted this originally under "Addiction and Withdrawal" but this is exactly what I am worried about and don't know what to do about. I don't want to have a seizure or Heart Attack!!!

[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

Well, here I am again, to my disappointment. I am so very sorry to those who cared enough to reply to my prior post. I hope I have not disappointed anyone. HOWEVER, as I started out, I have disappointed the one really, really matters and that is me. This is about those stupid klonnies. Not only have I not tapered off, I have increased almost double!!!! I go into tears when I think about how much that is /default_sad.png !!

[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

How it turned out that way is a stupid story of me listening to people I should not have saying things like "they are weaker when you order from this part of the world, then, oh no, they are weaker in another part of the world. In my head, I believed it!! My last increase was the worse. Remember, I said I was at 15mg? Well, somehow I increased to 19 mg and then (now at my peak of 21 mg!!!!) TWENTY ONE MG OF KLONNIES!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO DO???[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

When I think about it, I cannot even fathom that amount!!! I am taking FIVE TIMES what I am supposed to be. It all started when airmailchemist went under and I started to order from here, and there, etc.

[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

My "usual vendor" (just over the border), I could count on to keep me in stock. At the same time, I ordered from somewhere else overseas, on and on. I emailed the vendor across the border because I found myself "going to give out" in SIX days. To my shock, he does not have klonnies anymore! He said he had a different supplier and sent me a new list of what he now has. I will have to do some research to find out if Alpr@zol@m would be a decent "taper off" benzo....He has those. But I have to make it super fast!!!

[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

If anyone has any ideas that could possibly help me. I PROMISE I will listen. I don't want to get to this point again. I don't know whether to turn myself in to Rehab or my doctor - but once again, IT WOULD RUIN MY LIFE. I am scared to death!!! The facts are: 1) I have four days left to make the "21 mg's" -- I have an endless supply of 4 mg a day--because they are prescribed (if that helps).

[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

And that's my story....from bad to worse!! I had better start doing some research![COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

Thanks to the compassionate people on the board!

[COLOR= rgb(40,40,40)][/COLOR]

Jules

Hang on Jules. Take a deep breath first of all.

I've been in your shoes and while I don't have all of the answers I might be able to help you decide how to handle this. I need to finish my work day but will post in a couple of hours.

 

[jules]

Hang on Jules. Take a deep breath first of all.

I've been in your shoes and while I don't have all of the answers I might be able to help you decide how to handle this. I need to finish my work day but will post in a couple of hours.

 Thanks very, very much Roger!

Jules

 

[Roger]

Hang on Jules. Take a deep breath first of all.

I've been in your shoes and while I don't have all of the answers I might be able to help you decide how to handle this. I need to finish my work day but will post in a couple of hours.

Jules,

First of all pls know I know what it is like to take MASSIVE amounts of benzos. I had very legit anxiety in a bad marriage and it snowed way out of control! I won't make this reply all about me but trust me. I know.

I also know it is very scary and lonely to worry about your pills/withdrawal/hiding/being outed and all of the other things that go along with addiction.

That said, your first order of business needs to be finding some type of benzo. It doesn't have to be klonnies and in fact, I would recommend Val's. If you placed a SY order today you will be very lucky to receive by Friday or Saturday. Assuming you have 4 days of pills (at your usual 20 mg per day dose) remaining, you are covered through Sunday, correct?

If you are relying on a SY vendor you are going to be cutting it close. Do you think you will get a real overnight order? I thought those guys were averaging 3-4 days. I'm thinking a SY order placed today would arrive Monday unless you are super lucky. I really don't know... Just playing devils advocate

I would recommend you cut your dose by 1/3-1/2 so you can at least hang on until your SY order comes in. This way, while you may be really miserable with less medicine until an order arrives, I doubt you would seize.

Now, if you do run out of meds you can fake a panic attack (you actually won't be faking) and get a few from the ER but not enough to hold you at the doses you are taking. I doubt you could get more than #12 (5) mg x@n@x from an ER doc and that will hold you until noon.

The risk of seizure peaks around day 3-4 and can last for up to two weeks if you CT off benzos. And it is very very real. You are at a high risk, Jules. Don't think "it won't happen to me". I was on about the same amount and seized on the morning of day 4. (Thank GOD I wasn't behind the wheel.).

About tapering... Taper with Val's not x@n@x. But (and this is a BIG one) be honest with yourself. It is extremely hard to self taper. Given the sheer amount you are on, I don't think your GP will agree to supervise a taper even if you come clean to him.

I started 100+ tapers during the 7 years I was on benzos. I was successful with ZERO and I don't think I was in the minority. It is hard to get off these things and you really do need physical and emotional support. I DO think tapering is the most comfortable way to get off of them but I also think it is next to impossible. It will NOT be quick, that's for sure. You are looking at continuing IOP ordering until you are down to your prescribed dose. Probably a year if you go slow enough to stay fairly well.

Are you familiar with the Ashton Manuel? If not, google it. It is like the bible of getting off benzos. Also, there is a forum called Benzo Buddies that is all about trying to taper off benzos. Lots of support there also.

Finally, I promise you rehab will NOT ruin your life. Oh, it will be embarrassing; surprise friends and family; might even generate a few whispers behind your back. But, it won't ruin your life. Seizing behind the wheel and killing yourself or someone else will ruin your life. Driving while impaired and getting a DUI/possession charge will ruin your life. You get what I'm saying.

It isn't actually going to rehab that "ruins your life".... It is catalyst (see above) that gets you to rehab that ruins lives. Think about that.

Here is the thing. The people close to you already know something is wrong. They may not know what it is but they know something is up.

Good luck and order some Val's. Seek immediate medical attention if you are see you are going to be 24 hours without meds.

And try to taper. Read the Ashton Manual. Feel free to PM me if I can help you in any way. You can do this one way or the other and eventually you will have to face it. Lots of freedom when you finally do.

 

[Chris1]

Clonazepham WD sucks. I had to go through it a few months ago. I didn't want to be around anyone. I had the shakes and my body was not feeling well. I learned my lesson though. Only take what your told to take. If you take more, you will run out until your next refill. It's really tuff to go through. I feel for you.

 

[Sleeplessnights78]

My Things to help with Benzo WD

1. Drink plenty of Liquids " It causes frequent urination and other un mentionables"

2. Eat "If you don't get proper nutrition your body cant attempt to expel/replace the neutrients/hormones/brain chems your missing." I know this will be hard but you must force yourself to eat. Take a multi vitamin with your food once a day.

3. Try to rest, I know its almost impossible to sleep, but just lying in bed with your eyes closed will help tons.

4. Lay in a warm "not hot" bath. this will soothe your nerves and help you relax.

Hope this helps others it helps me tons.  also If you start eating and drinking good/taking vitamins before the WD starts this also helps a lot.

after about 4-5 days of on set  you should be feeling the effects of the WD leaving. " not counting the halflife from the last time you had your med"

 

[Gyre]

Did you consider tapering off with v@ls?

 

[Gyre]

Oh it was said before, my bad. Yes I think v@ls are MUCH better than xanx because of it long lasting mechanism.

 

[Phrenicz]

Jules,

First of all pls know I know what it is like to take MASSIVE amounts of benzos. I had very legit anxiety in a bad marriage and it snowed way out of control! I won't make this reply all about me but trust me. I know.

I also know it is very scary and lonely to worry about your pills/withdrawal/hiding/being outed and all of the other things that go along with addiction.

That said, your first order of business needs to be finding some type of benzo. It doesn't have to be klonnies and in fact, I would recommend Val's. If you placed a SY order today you will be very lucky to receive by Friday or Saturday. Assuming you have 4 days of pills (at your usual 20 mg per day dose) remaining, you are covered through Sunday, correct?

If you are relying on a SY vendor you are going to be cutting it close. Do you think you will get a real overnight order? I thought those guys were averaging 3-4 days. I'm thinking a SY order placed today would arrive Monday unless you are super lucky. I really don't know... Just playing devils advocate

I would recommend you cut your dose by 1/3-1/2 so you can at least hang on until your SY order comes in. This way, while you may be really miserable with less medicine until an order arrives, I doubt you would seize.

Now, if you do run out of meds you can fake a panic attack (you actually won't be faking) and get a few from the ER but not enough to hold you at the doses you are taking. I doubt you could get more than #12 (5) mg x@n@x from an ER doc and that will hold you until noon.

The risk of seizure peaks around day 3-4 and can last for up to two weeks if you CT off benzos. And it is very very real. You are at a high risk, Jules. Don't think "it won't happen to me". I was on about the same amount and seized on the morning of day 4. (Thank GOD I wasn't behind the wheel.).

About tapering... Taper with Val's not x@n@x. But (and this is a BIG one) be honest with yourself. It is extremely hard to self taper. Given the sheer amount you are on, I don't think your GP will agree to supervise a taper even if you come clean to him.

I started 100+ tapers during the 7 years I was on benzos. I was successful with ZERO and I don't think I was in the minority. It is hard to get off these things and you really do need physical and emotional support. I DO think tapering is the most comfortable way to get off of them but I also think it is next to impossible. It will NOT be quick, that's for sure. You are looking at continuing IOP ordering until you are down to your prescribed dose. Probably a year if you go slow enough to stay fairly well.

Are you familiar with the Ashton Manuel? If not, google it. It is like the bible of getting off benzos. Also, there is a forum called Benzo Buddies that is all about trying to taper off benzos. Lots of support there also.

Finally, I promise you rehab will NOT ruin your life. Oh, it will be embarrassing; surprise friends and family; might even generate a few whispers behind your back. But, it won't ruin your life. Seizing behind the wheel and killing yourself or someone else will ruin your life. Driving while impaired and getting a DUI/possession charge will ruin your life. You get what I'm saying.

It isn't actually going to rehab that "ruins your life".... It is catalyst (see above) that gets you to rehab that ruins lives. Think about that.

Here is the thing. The people close to you already know something is wrong. They may not know what it is but they know something is up.

Good luck and order some Val's. Seek immediate medical attention if you are see you are going to be 24 hours without meds.

And try to taper. Read the Ashton Manual. Feel free to PM me if I can help you in any way. You can do this one way or the other and eventually you will have to face it. Lots of freedom when you finally do.

As usual Roger is right on the money!

My taper schedule is based around the Ashton manual... And if you can get your hands on some Diaz3pam, it would allow you to do a much safer and more gradual taper, due to it's much longer half-life... Plus, they are available in smaller doses, ie: 10, 5 & 2 mg, allowing a much more gradual decrease...

However, it is possible to get a gradual taper with Clonaz3pam, although it's half life will require you re-dosing more frequently?...I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not the end of the world if you can't get hold of any Diaz3pam, it's just a bit more science...

As always, good luck and don't forget, we're all here to help you through it : )

~P~

 

[jules]

As usual Roger is right on the money!

My taper schedule is based around the Ashton manual... And if you can get your hands on some Diaz3pam, it would allow you to do a much safer and more gradual taper, due to it's much longer half-life... Plus, they are available in smaller doses, ie: 10, 5 & 2 mg, allowing a much more gradual decrease...

However, it is possible to get a gradual taper with Clonaz3pam, although it's half life will require you re-dosing more frequently?...I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not the end of the world if you can't get hold of any Diaz3pam, it's just a bit more science...

As always, good luck and don't forget, we're all here to help you through it : )

~P~

Hey all,

Sorry I have not posted an update to my original "posts" -- I ended up ordering some X@n@x from the vendor who was out of the klonnies. It had to do with pricing more than anything. It seems they did do the trick. I was able to cut back by NINE MG! The problem as I just found out - is the "weak ones" you get from a mex. vendor.  I just got a batch and am having to take 16-18 MG just because they are weak. - So hear I am , back to an upped dose. I had written I had done a decrease but to now to another increase... I don't think it's an actual increase. I just think the one's I am getting are weak. I have ordered some Internationally that comes in the original "candy wrappers." - We will see how much I have to take. My decreased dose???

I am sorry I did not look up the Ashton Manual BUT I did today. Will not have time to look at any of it today but book marked the g00gle results.

I never replied to the issue of "it would ruin my life." I should have laid all of that out on the table. What I meant was - I would lose my "therapist" of many years - I signed a so-called contract. I also did that with my pain management doctor that if I ever took too many of habit forming drug, he would ban me. Everyone talks about getting the W0ts0n 8-5-3. I take those only as needed. I take "0xy's and a patch. I have NEVER abused any of my pain medications and I refuse to. I don't want to lose him. Anyway, I will let you know what happens when I get the klonnies from Euro. compared to now. I have made several posts under the thread "Quality" and "Alex (forma.....Troy....). You will see what I mean....

I am so sorry I have to sign off for today but I am WAY behind on my errands - we are talking 2-3 hours! 

Like I said before, thank you for all that care and I WILL update you all soon.

Jules

 

[JasonMerritt]

I wanted to post my support and my (as I scroll back up), NOT so-brief experience as well. BZ WD is as people say very very difficult. For me it started almost 20 years ago when my doctor put me on Loraz for anxiety and sleep problems. (I didn't tell him I was abusing alchol as well). And over the years as I moved and switched doctors, the scripts followed. One doctor, understanding my alcohol abuse took away the loraz stating that as an obvious reason for going back to alcoh. He was the first I was honest with. And I was trying to not drink. So I was put on clonaz. With the lack of alcohol, and wanting to keep it that way, the clonaz went up and up and up until I hit the limit of what he would prescribe. This was about 7 years ago. That is when I turned to IOP's. I was still getting my clonaz from him but bought up a bunch of v@ls and X@N. Ultimatly I stopped filling my clonaz from him or anyone else. I was moving on up. (or so I thought).

From my experience moving from one benzo to another doesn't seem to bother me. With the exception of X@N. OMG This one drug has had to have been the worst thing I ever had to taper off of. I bought 300 2mg and was taking 2-3 a day easy. As well as the V@Ls. (Oh, and drinking again? yeah!)

Well I removed the alchol. And then said it was time to taper. I am sick of living life this way. So I starting tapering myself down from the 70mg of V@L a day, slowly. When I was down to just 30mg a day I seemed fine. (NO taper on the xanax yet). It was when I started tapering off the x@n I thought I would go crazy. I did ok getting down to just 2mg a day. This took about 6 months at least. The taper from 2mg a day down was a B*TCH to say the least. I started by cutting the 2mg in half. I didn't want to buy a lower dosage. Seemed like a waste of money, not to mention I was almost broke. So I went to 1mg. This lasted about a day and I started to crawl all over.

Long story short, Once I adjusted to 1mg a day It was time to half that to .5mg a day. Fast forward a month. And repeat. Now for anyone that is following yet, these are small pills to begin with so when it got to quartering and re-quartering ( I can't spell eighting them?) I was more mashing them into dust. It took a very very long time to do this and not feel completly crazy. But I found if I could work through that crazy, irritable lack of sleep period of a week or two I was ok. I know people say self tapering doesn't work. But I was bound and determined. About the only time in my life I really have been.

Well, Xanax free for a couple years now. ONce in a while I see these vendors and think "I should get a sample" and I really have to stop myself and just thinking back to the year of hell is enough for me not too. (Had one toss in 30 free and I flushed them the second I saw them).

Well, still taking 30mg a day of V@l at this point. I Really think this is the only thing that had the x@n taper work. Well I started drinking alcohol again at this point. I would not mix the 2. But when i drink, I binge. For days, or weeks. And to put this in perspective, I have been taken in on welfare checks or other issues and consistantly am at about a .41 BAC. (Most are dead at this level. Can we say tolerance?). But the v@l works great for that alcohol crash. Most benzos do. And I never siezed from alcohol withdraw because I had my vals. Well my then current vendor (1 year ago last month) was gone and I had no way of getting them. And had about a week left. And I was drinking heavy. I then used what I had to not DT from alcohol, and they were gone. And WD started to kick in from the v@ls, so i was back to drinking. I finally hit a wall.

I called that monday morning, day 2 of alcohol withdraw, and about day 5 of v@l withdraw and got an appointment with a then new GP DR. I didn't think I was going to make it. I started freaking out in the waiting room. Level 1,000 anxiety, twitching, everything. I told him everything. He prescribed a high dose of Librium as it would work for the Alcohol WD. And spread it out over a week. Let me say that the 20 minutes it took the pharmacy to fill it seems like 3 days. About an hour after it kciked in I felt time slow and felt "Almost Human". But about an hour before the next dose I felt that familiar x@n withdraw feeling. I tapered per his exact instructions and I did well. I met with him on the last day of the 7 day taper and told him I was scared as hell about the Benzo Withdraw. He told me he didn't see that being a problem. This Librium benzo was great at both. I told Him I WOULD be back if he was wrong. Well he wasn't. The "CRAZY" feeling never came back at the levels I had ever experienced but it took me almost a year before I felt all of that was out of my system.

I will say what we all know, sleep will NOT come easy for a while, and sometimes not at all. Now I will admit that after 1 year, I have ordered more v@ls as changes in life was causing sleep issues. And zolp and others don't work. MOST drugs have the opposite affect on my body and brain. Benzos are the rare exception. BUt for the last 9 months I will NOT allow myself to take more than 1 10mg pill a day. I know it is building up. I know it is not as effective. I know some nights I stil can't fall asleep and/or stay aslseep. And other nights I do just fine. but I will not go back to what I was. Or any other Benzo. There are worst things in life I think. Hell Pecan Pie will kill you if oyu overdo it. But as for Clonaz, loraz, and x@n I am done.

I am sorry this is so long and I hope it helps someone. And if it is inappropriate it can be deleted. I am going to read up on the references made on the Manual as I know others addicted in my area to benzos and do not see anyway to get off. Or at least get them under control. And I am sure we have all found the tricks of drinking OJ to amplify the effects. But tolernces do build up and that always requires more and more.

I will also say, I believe Jules said that being honest will terminate other needed things and for that I am truly sorry. I wish we could be honest with our doctors and have them work with us. But as I put in another post, most will BL you and cut you off. These are the ones that have NEVER had an addiction and slept through that class in med school. As something I heard in "meetings" years ago and practice myself. The one person you can be 100% honest with 100% of the time is your anesthesiologist. This is the one person who's job it is to make sure you go under and stay under during a surgery or procedure. To lie to them can be detrimental to your health. 3 years ago I had to be put under for leg surgery. And he came in to explain what he was going to give me and how much and how things were going to go. I told him my uses, abuses, and levels. And he said "I will be right back, I need to readjust all of this". He also thanked me for being honest. He continued to say if I had not told him I would have woken up right in the middle of it. (Makes me giggle to my self and wonder how many anesthesiologist experiment with their own scripts /default_smile.png ) And another thing I have learned is if you go to the ER and act like a Doctor, you will most likely be flagged as a drug seeker and kicked to the curb. Best thing I had found is to ask "Can you give me something to stop this?" and let them prescribe what you were going to ask for. If you walk in with a panic attack and anxiety and say "I just need some X@N .... you will most likely be shown the door. (And billed most likely too). /default_sad.png

My heart and prayers go out to all of you that are going through this process. It is not easy. Be strong and know you can do it. And please do it safe. As said above, don't put yourself or others at risk. Many times I felt I was going to die. Hell even thought death would have been easier. But  it can be done and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am here if anyone wants to talk. Support is key, no matter where you get it from.

 

[Revenger]

Holy shit Jason well done !! I don't have a b3nzo problem but always read these threads to remind myself to respect them... Your taper sounds hellish, congratulations on being free 🎊🎈🎉

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[2earls]

I just now saw your post Jason. Sounds like one hell of a journey you've been on.

Congratulations on getting those benzos under control.