I always told my soon to be ex-wife after the fact because I couldn't carry the lie.
"So, M, we have to have a talk. I ordered a PCP analog online and took a massive dose, left my body, and shared the body of a dying patient, (I'm in healthcare) for several hours.
Or
"Hey I have to tell you, I took a dose of K before going to my sensory depravation tank appointment.
While there I believed my body was obliterated by an on coming train and I grieved for you and the kids and the attendant for having to clean up the mess.
I believed I was floating in a soup of my own blood until benevolent disembodied hands lowered into the tank and reassembled me."
We had many conversations like that because she really didn't want to know but also didn't want to be lied to. Do my solution was to save her the worried anticipation and tell her after.
Anyway 21 years of marriage we are amicably & mutually parting ways, remaining friends.
I am taking a long break from chems except a select few I keep around for emergency resets, brutal exams (nursing school) and sleep aids which I use sparingly.
Divorce after building an extensive history, is brutal, even when mutual, even as friends. Its hard not to order something I can just disappear into for a while but I know it will only further ruin trust and make everything worse. I think I am at the point now where I need to let myself feel it all and dee what's on the other side.
Life is a veil of tears.