I Admit

[Kalsima]

@PTFC thank you I was feeling sorry for myself but it is quite a conundrum when your spouse loves Colorado and reminds me everyday we are living where are Govenor is Rick Scott.  We were just at a festival and people were smoking you could smell it everywhere and the police did nothing. Which I don't see any big deal I'm so tired of his political tirades on twitter! This too shall pass just felt a little reminiscent of all the great times and good friends I've met. I'm going to stay positive and not look back and have gratitude for everyday. Sorry I know most people would think I'm crazy having a holiday house and main house, it makes me embarrassed for even feeling sorry for myself!  I promise I'll keep it up one day at a time. I found a new hobby and have a new puppy waiting for me at home life will be as great as I make it! You'll see when I'm still posting when I return to Colorado! Thanks you're a true friend! 

PS @DaMerlyn great thread you started! Thank you!

 

[PTFC]

Couldn't agree more @Heavenlee, great thread @DaMerlyn!

 

[rocketman]

I admit and agree with the above that this is a GREAT thread @DaMerlyn.

I admit I was completely clean and sober between 2012-2016 but my back pain brought me back.

I admit I got clean again in January this year. 

I admit I am trying my best to manage it and be extremely careful this time but know the reality of my situation.

I admit I am scared.

 

[DaMerlyn]

I admit thats a very brave admit Rocketman.

I admit I think there is many of us in the same boat!

 

[Kalsima]

@rocketman I commend you on telling us that you are scared. It takes a lot for a man to be honest and admit it. I mentioned earlier I'm leaving our winter house in Florida and going back to Denver our main house in Colorado and I'm afraid also. My life was in shambles and I was killing myself with drugs at my sons and husbands expense. I can't imagine the pain they experienced so I admit I was a very selfish dope fiend. It's good to be scaresd because when you think you have it licked it creeps back in your life. If you weren't afraid I'd be worried for you. You can do this we all can. Be grateful you have everyday and do whatever it takes you to stay in the right path. You've been down this road before and made it. So you know what you have to do. Good luck I'll be thinking of you. You can do this! 

 

[Akup7ich]

I admit I am having major panic over this reship shit 

i admit I sent the last of this pays money that I could for a small'just in case, in case ' order . That means that's it .

i admit I am going to flirt with some guber in am to get a tiny something to help til the eagles hit.

i admit I need to really think this all thru , figure out what the hell Is it I can live with or with out. Cut back or never run out. 

Yhanks that helps 

 

[DaMerlyn]

I admit I was panicking over reships as we.

I admit I have put off reshipping until I think things look right again.

I admit I admire everyone's bravery for their admits!

 

[Jam1976]

I admit I'm scared shitless to detox off Benzos...I've been using them like a fiend because I know I only have a few months of tapering left before I'll be forced to detox. I'm afraid I will fail, get booted from my program and my life will be left in shambles. I went 6 years not taking anything other than what was legally prescribed. When my old doctor retired, my new doctor started detoxing/tapering me immediately. I admit to being a lying addict in action hiding my supplemented B#nz use...I feel like a guilty turd blossom about it and the shame makes me reach for them even more. I'm scared to death. I got an addiction counselor but it's not much help since I had to sign a release allowing my doctor to talk to him. I need to get honest and take a hard look in the mirror. 20 years on anti anxiety meds... do my panic attacks justify my behavior? NO. I admit I need help. I feel powerlesss, weak and ashamed of myself. 

 

[Kalsima]

@Jam1976 i too feel embarrassed about my benzo intake im so embarrassed that i wont even admit how many i take a day because ive lost count i pop them like candy. After three grand mal seizures i stay ahead of the game but now im terrified about all the bad stories including mine being taken and trying to find another vendor that doesnt take forever to receive and not be worried about seizures. I tell myself its ok im not taking hard drugs anymore i have four months clean, almost got medication twice by a doctor, but abused it and my husband flushed it down the toilet. I spent six hours looking through coat pockets for nothing! I say its ok because im stressed all the time. I fully intend to deal with my addiction but i guess one thing at a time. Im still shaky staying off of narcotics! Good luck to you  and thank you for sharing!

 

[Jam1976]

@Jam1976 i too feel embarrassed about my benzo intake im so embarrassed that i wont even admit how many i take a day because ive lost count i pop them like candy. After three grand mal seizures i stay ahead of the game but now im terrified about all the bad stories including mine being taken and trying to find another vendor that doesnt take forever to receive and not be worried about seizures. I tell myself its ok im not taking hard drugs anymore i have four months clean, almost got medication twice by a doctor, but abused it and my husband flushed it down the toilet. I spent six hours looking through coat pockets for nothing! I say its ok because im stressed all the time. I fully intend to deal with my addiction but i guess one thing at a time. Im still shaky staying off of narcotics! Good luck to you  and thank you for sharing!

 I've tried to PM you three times, I'm having issues. Did you get any of them? Now I maxed out on the messages I'm allowed to write, I need to upgrade my sponsorship. Anyway can you send me a message and I can respond???

 

[Kalsima]

@Jam1976 so sorry going to clear messenger damn I got old ones from @cat and @trinity and @Maybesomedaymiss them time to redo my messenger so sorry 

 

[Valentine888]

I admit that this is a really cool topic

I admit that I am starting to love this board and the members on here

I admit that I can and have gone without pills, but prefer not to 

I admit that I hope everyone's problems listed above will get resolved in the near future 

 

[Jam1976]

 I admit I am freaking out! I just got a letter notifying me that I had a package seized. It's a 2 page white letter that asks me to sign in and to return it. I have no idea what to do.  Does anyone get notified about this? Am I going to be a red flagged??? Damn it...

 

[Jam1976]

I admit that this is a really cool topic

I admit that I am starting to love this board and the members on here

I admit that I can and have gone without pills, but prefer not to 

I admit that I hope everyone's problems listed above will get resolved in the near future 

 It admit that I love your post! 

 

[PTFC]

 I admit I am freaking out! I just got a letter notifying me that I had a package seized. It's a 2 page white letter that asks me to sign in and to return it. I have no idea what to do.  Does anyone get notified about this? Am I going to be a red flagged??? Damn it...

I admit, that it's a bummer, but file that paper in the nearest filing cabinet ir shredder. ?

 

[Jam1976]

Lol,  I admit I did not even think of that.  I admit that maybe someone will just erase that comment if it is self incriminating.  I also admit that I think my brain is working at about 1/3 of its normal capacity due to the stress I have been under or over the past week.   I keep making dumb mistakes that I normally would never make!  I need to do some yoga and stop letting the stress get the best of me. 

 

[DaMerlyn]

I admit I love Valentines post!

I admit Jam, I am hoping it all works out.

I admit PTFC gave you the very best advice, use your circular plastic lined filing cabinet!

I admit, DENY everything! You know nothing, some (ex) friend of yours haz a real problem and you are afraid he has been using your address and stealing your mail! In your case, "I ADMIT" IS TWO WORDS YOU SHOULD ONLY USE IN THIS THREAD!

I admit maybe a nickname change from Jam to OutofaJam!

 

[Jam1976]

I admit, that it's a bummer, but file that paper in the nearest filing cabinet ir shredder. ?

 I found a lighter to be very helpful in this particular situation. 

 Speaking of lighters, I ADMIT that after well over 10 years of not smoking a single cigarette, I've had two cigarettes this week! What's that about??  I found them to be absolutely disgusting yet  when I smell them now  I crave more. I am going to promise myself to not touch them again.  So the lighter goes back into the drawer, I don't need any help in terms of lighting up one of my mothers cigarettes. I'm sad to say, she 67 years old and smokes 1-two packs per day.  She quit for eight years, I'm so bummed that she is smoking again. I admit, I'm afraid it's going to kill her.  I definitely do not want to kill myself with cigarettes, so I am going to stay far away from the cancer sticks.  I just lost a close childhood friend to lung cancer last week. I admit I feel extremely guilty for smoking after her death. Almost like it was  a betrayal to her memory and her battle with cancer.  I think I just had a lot of stress this past week with my close friend's death, the seized letter and other intense issues I haven't talked about. 

 I admit I think I am getting addicted to this forum.

PS- FU Cancer!!!!

 

[PTFC]

I admit I lost that post @Jam1976!

 

[Toker]

I admit i'm a methadone addict (25+ yrs)

I admit i'm a benzo addict (25+ yrs)

I admit i have an addictive personality

I admit i love cannabis

I admit i admitted all of the above

I admit life is good