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Lemme hear it.
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sadminion
Guest
Aw, im so sorry cat..I been there. was married for 15 yrs and the smuk cheated on me he was 45 and she was 19...it was such a hard time for me...but he is gone no except that i have to deal with him cause the kids..wish i can throw him under a bus :0
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I cannot stop crying. I have finals next week. I just don't believe this is happening. I feel so so helpless.
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sadminion
Guest
again im sorry cat, even though im with an awsome man now, i still get flash backs, I cannot believe someone i was with 16 yrs married too 15 yrs would do such a thing. The minute he asked for divorce i know right away, then he wasnt good at cleaning his tracks up.....top it off it was a girl who worked for him at where he works..she was going to quit and he had me talk to her to not quit..(what nerve) men can be real scums..
did he ever give u a reason cat? you may hurt now but it does get less over time. i know that isnt much to how u feeling now but at least u know there is light at the end of this..
he lost out when he left you and u should know that!
did he ever give u a reason cat? you may hurt now but it does get less over time. i know that isnt much to how u feeling now but at least u know there is light at the end of this..
he lost out when he left you and u should know that!
bunnies
Member
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2014
- Messages
- 98
:hugs: for Cat. this sounds like a pretty rough breakup and i'm sorry your heart is hurting.
twice in my life i have felt immense heartbreak. the nausea, insomia, frequent crying spells, questioning everything, swollen eyes and headaches from the crying. the anger of feeling so undervalued and precious time wasted, inability to focus, no appetite, wondering what was wrong with me for the split to occur.
and both of those occasions gave me the gifts of time, space, and clarity. when i eventually stopped crying, pining, and looking back through rose-tinted glasses, i could plainly see the myriad of reasons why it couldn't work.
the first few weeks are the worst. you're half-dazed even as you go through your daily routine because you cannot believe that person isn't there, it feels disorienting and sad not sharing your life with that person anymore. so many reminders everywhere - no more texting throughout the day, no more waking up under the same roof, no more specifying only half olives on a delivery pizza, one less toothbrush, no more hugs and smelling the inside of their neck, all those times you complained about cleaning up after them but you'd give anything to clean up after them now (bargaining with the universe.) it especially sucks if you live alone with no roommates, kids, or pets. you are totally alone at home with your feelings and nothing to give affection to, and nothing to give you affection.
when you really love someone you never stop loving them, but the way you allow yourself to love them changes as time marches on. you learn to live without them, happily. you don't entirely "get over" someone you've loved deeply, but you do learn to live a happy fulfilling life without them, and loving another deeply thankfully isn't limited to a 1 time thing.
these are probably all just words on a screen right now, because what you're feeling is so very powerful. i hope i don't sound patronising as that is not my intent. this is the time for you to do as much of what feels good to you as you like (within reason of course.) make time daily to pamper yourself somehow. the activities and hobbies you most enjoy should be taking priority because it will help you rebuild internally and keep your mind occupied with something positive.
i am sorry for your heartache Cat. i hope you are being extra nice to yourself. it's cliche but time does heal wounds. unfortunately when the wound is fresh time seems to stop. that's why i'm suggesting you throw yourself in to positive, constructive things and be extra nice to yourself. it can help the wound heal faster without you even realising it until one day you're like "omg i haven't thought about ______ in weeks."
twice in my life i have felt immense heartbreak. the nausea, insomia, frequent crying spells, questioning everything, swollen eyes and headaches from the crying. the anger of feeling so undervalued and precious time wasted, inability to focus, no appetite, wondering what was wrong with me for the split to occur.
and both of those occasions gave me the gifts of time, space, and clarity. when i eventually stopped crying, pining, and looking back through rose-tinted glasses, i could plainly see the myriad of reasons why it couldn't work.
the first few weeks are the worst. you're half-dazed even as you go through your daily routine because you cannot believe that person isn't there, it feels disorienting and sad not sharing your life with that person anymore. so many reminders everywhere - no more texting throughout the day, no more waking up under the same roof, no more specifying only half olives on a delivery pizza, one less toothbrush, no more hugs and smelling the inside of their neck, all those times you complained about cleaning up after them but you'd give anything to clean up after them now (bargaining with the universe.) it especially sucks if you live alone with no roommates, kids, or pets. you are totally alone at home with your feelings and nothing to give affection to, and nothing to give you affection.
when you really love someone you never stop loving them, but the way you allow yourself to love them changes as time marches on. you learn to live without them, happily. you don't entirely "get over" someone you've loved deeply, but you do learn to live a happy fulfilling life without them, and loving another deeply thankfully isn't limited to a 1 time thing.
these are probably all just words on a screen right now, because what you're feeling is so very powerful. i hope i don't sound patronising as that is not my intent. this is the time for you to do as much of what feels good to you as you like (within reason of course.) make time daily to pamper yourself somehow. the activities and hobbies you most enjoy should be taking priority because it will help you rebuild internally and keep your mind occupied with something positive.
i am sorry for your heartache Cat. i hope you are being extra nice to yourself. it's cliche but time does heal wounds. unfortunately when the wound is fresh time seems to stop. that's why i'm suggesting you throw yourself in to positive, constructive things and be extra nice to yourself. it can help the wound heal faster without you even realising it until one day you're like "omg i haven't thought about ______ in weeks."
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2012
- Messages
- 719
Not anymore but I thought I was literally going to die from a broken heart exactly 5 years ago. I wish there was a magic balm I could give you or something to say to make you feel better. The truth is that this will take time. Know time passes and the pain lessens.
Now, a bit of tough love. Block this OUT as you face your exams Cat. You've worked so hard and your education is something NO ONE can take away from you. It is yours and yours only. Focus of your work now Cat. It will be the best gift you can give yourself. Feel free to PM if you want/need an ear. We love you here at DBG.
Now, a bit of tough love. Block this OUT as you face your exams Cat. You've worked so hard and your education is something NO ONE can take away from you. It is yours and yours only. Focus of your work now Cat. It will be the best gift you can give yourself. Feel free to PM if you want/need an ear. We love you here at DBG.
PTFC
R.I.P.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2014
- Messages
- 4,393
I'm so sorry Cat. I have had a few girlfriends, but the ones that hurt the most were my childhood sweetheart dumping me after 7 years or so and a later love who took her own life. I know it's so painful, I really do. This has come boom out of the blue also, not to mention the car trouble. Cat, if you can, get these finals done, let's get you over that fund line too and boost you up, even a little. Roger is spot on with second part, get this stuff done. X
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2015
- Messages
- 700
I wish I had anything to spare to send your way Cat. If you were here I know some roughneck boys that could build you a car, maybe it may have different colored panels but....we love you. Times a hundred. You are fun plus one. My little girl loves the man I am with. Sadly, things are not panning out.
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- Joined
- Nov 24, 2012
- Messages
- 719
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2014
- Messages
- 674
I can only repeat what the others have said Cat, I'm so very sorry and I'm sending lots of love your way. You're very dear to all of us and there's a lot of people here who can help.
I don't have lots of practical advice, but please try to keep your chin up and stay strong.
You can PM me any time you need to, thinking of you at this awful time for you.
I don't have lots of practical advice, but please try to keep your chin up and stay strong.
You can PM me any time you need to, thinking of you at this awful time for you.
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2015
- Messages
- 700
my mom always said, and in retrospect it makes me wonder what she was like as a young woman... Lol. The best way to get over one is to start spending time with another.
John Benson
Member
- Joined
- May 2, 2015
- Messages
- 244
I tried that method when i was dumped by my high school sweetie and spend time with many for years afterand it didn't work. Even when i married my first wife i kept pining away for the this girl from years ago. The day i met my second wife however, all those thoughts disappeared immediately, till she left 13 or 14 years later-that did damn near kill me, several times. Problem is I am always looking for something or someone on the outside to fill a void on the inside.-I have not yet mastered this technique though otherwise i would have never joined this forum even though i do have my girl back (at this time-there are no guarantees in life with anything).
IHMO, once a person truly loves and accept themselves, there can be no dying of a broken heart. Sure there can be grief but no dying.
But like other posters have stated it gets better in time. Or i would describe it more as "different-not as intense"
Love-the most powerful drug in the universe
G
Guest
Guest
Oh sweet jesus--i want to cry for everyone now!
I walked away from the love of my life because I knew, based on our circumstance, we would end up hating each other.
And in truth my heart has been broken more for my girls then ever for myself.
I made a resolution that anytime I was going to cry, going to be sad, lonely--whatever I would only allow it if I was on the treadmill. 20 years ago I had a banging body! /default_smile.png
But seriously it helped me keep my sadness contained and made me focus.
I know it's so cliche but I have learned it to be true: the door will open for you which means another one must close. Your job is to walk through that door trusting the universe (or GOD, if you are more comfortable with that!) does exactly what needs to be done. Trust that it all happens for a reason and each time there is a lesson to be learned. LEARN that lesson. If you ignore it then you will be bound to repeat it again.
Sometimes heartache will be brought to heal. It may not seem that way but again please trust that nothing in ever wasted.
I know this all sounds a little Buddy ' ish -- there is a good reason for that! /default_smile.png
Love yourself. Grow from the sorrows--listen to the lessons! You will push through this!
I walked away from the love of my life because I knew, based on our circumstance, we would end up hating each other.
And in truth my heart has been broken more for my girls then ever for myself.
I made a resolution that anytime I was going to cry, going to be sad, lonely--whatever I would only allow it if I was on the treadmill. 20 years ago I had a banging body! /default_smile.png
But seriously it helped me keep my sadness contained and made me focus.
I know it's so cliche but I have learned it to be true: the door will open for you which means another one must close. Your job is to walk through that door trusting the universe (or GOD, if you are more comfortable with that!) does exactly what needs to be done. Trust that it all happens for a reason and each time there is a lesson to be learned. LEARN that lesson. If you ignore it then you will be bound to repeat it again.
Sometimes heartache will be brought to heal. It may not seem that way but again please trust that nothing in ever wasted.
I know this all sounds a little Buddy ' ish -- there is a good reason for that! /default_smile.png
Love yourself. Grow from the sorrows--listen to the lessons! You will push through this!
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2015
- Messages
- 700
You had better own those effn finals and make them your b*tch. If you get through THAT, your dream has come true. Youll be kept so busy doing what you love that you will soon forget whatshisface. Study like your life depends on it Nd keep busy. ♥♡♥
G
Guest
Guest
I love that socio! We all need a you to give us a kick in the ass to flight right! /default_smile.png
Dang Cat--better listen to socio or else you might could get a good smackdown!
Dang Cat--better listen to socio or else you might could get a good smackdown!
Dear Cat,
I have been down this road where I felt so bad all I could do is crawl up in a ball and cry the days away. I stepped out of my shell and got help. Doctors, therapists and finally a psychologist. Along with drugs. I am slowing starting to feel hope, positive about life, making serious changes in my life that I hope lead me to a better place.
The ones who posted above me are so right in telling you to focus all you have in you to get those finals done. This sounds like where you need to go with your life. Your journey may be changing, and more than likely for the better.
Do whatever you have to, to get YOU in a better place. But don't you dare take your eye off the prize. You will be amazed what good, positive things will come in your life when they are supposed too.
You are a kind and giving soul, peace, happiness and comfort will come back to you in time. Your light will be shining bright again soon!
Don't take your eye off the prize!!! /default_smile.png
I have been down this road where I felt so bad all I could do is crawl up in a ball and cry the days away. I stepped out of my shell and got help. Doctors, therapists and finally a psychologist. Along with drugs. I am slowing starting to feel hope, positive about life, making serious changes in my life that I hope lead me to a better place.
The ones who posted above me are so right in telling you to focus all you have in you to get those finals done. This sounds like where you need to go with your life. Your journey may be changing, and more than likely for the better.
Do whatever you have to, to get YOU in a better place. But don't you dare take your eye off the prize. You will be amazed what good, positive things will come in your life when they are supposed too.
You are a kind and giving soul, peace, happiness and comfort will come back to you in time. Your light will be shining bright again soon!
Don't take your eye off the prize!!! /default_smile.png
G
Guest
Guest
Thanks you guys! I love you for commenting. I thnk I am almost past the point of wanting to cry constantly. It just sucks that we live together. Being in love with the five kids too doesnt help /default_sad.png having my finals to focus on dos help. I don't know if I am going to kick ass though. It cannot be over soon enough.
meanwhile, i have reached a point in my life where noone is holding me to a certain area of th country. Who knows where I will move to? So far, it is looking like Florida.
reading your stories really helped me to feel better you guys......xoxoxoxo
meanwhile, i have reached a point in my life where noone is holding me to a certain area of th country. Who knows where I will move to? So far, it is looking like Florida.
reading your stories really helped me to feel better you guys......xoxoxoxo
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- P @ psychedpsych: Have good day people, and I hate texting messages lol
- B @ bigblueallda: @drjimmy1964 lol I am actually surprised it is a real ID. I needed those documents because my license had been expired for over a year and I had to start all over. Nothing was in the system. It was a huge mess. I had no clue I was signing up for Real ID. They asked me for the exact same documents that I needed for a State ID Card.
- S @ soupson: bless your heart buddy. no sense of grammar or proper insults/jokes. you need this place in ways i can’t comprehend
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drjimmy1964:
Sweet Ol' Me asked about Real ID, Stoup. Are you responsive to emails ? LMAO
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drjimmy1964:
I smell some Stoup. Is Stoup's on ?
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drjimmy1964:
@bigblueallda You win. I am lost. Thought you were surprised your license was a Real ID, now you say you provided those items.
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drjimmy1964:
@bigblueallda I was under the impression that you'd need all of the points to get a real ID . I'd check it's validity if you're gonna fly domestic any time soon, just to make sure. Not to tell you what to do, sorry -
- B @ bigblueallda: @drjimmy1964 In my state to get a Real ID, I need SS card, Birth Certificate and two proofs of residency. Which I am positive I had to provide to get a new ID when it had been expired.
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drjimmy1964:
@Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
- B @ bigblueallda: I haven't flown in an airplane in 20 years lol. Can't recall the last government building I have been in either. According to the symbol it tells me I should have on my ID to make it a Real ID I do have one in my state
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Gracie5:
Hey @CuCeltic99!
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drjimmy1964:
@Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
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drjimmy1964:
@bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
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drjimmy1964:
@bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
- S @ soupson: did anyone ask about real id or is sweet ol jimmy just rambling
- T @ Turbo259: @drjimmy1964 what did you mean by advertise? not gettin the verbiage, DM works if anything, just didnt understand
- B @ bigblueallda: {Visit your local Driver Service Bureau with the necessary documents: original birth certificate, Social Security card, and two proofs of your state's residency. } I definitely provided this when I had to get a new ID when i let mine go expired too long maybe I unknowingly got one but I think it is pretty standard here.
- B @ bigblueallda: Well it was a state id renewal. Before that there was a mixup and I had lost my birth certficate and social security number. After a couple of weeks and finally getting several documents in order I was able to get a state ID. It had been expired previously for a little too long and they wanted all kinds of proof. It was a mess. But nah I looked up what to look for an my state's ID to see if it is a Real Id or not and my card as the symbol it is supposed to have. I'll take a closer look though
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drjimmy1964:
@bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
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drjimmy1964:
Actually it says "Not For Real ID Purposes". That is my 2022 renewal of my 2018 picture ID. I am not due till 2026 and I am sure they will make me go in since my pic would be 8 years old - they used to make you go in in my state for aging when I was younger, then went paper - then back to picture ( I think 9/11 to blame for that ) but relaxed it.