Is anyone else dying of a broken heart?

[Guest]

Lemme hear it.

 

[sadminion]

Aw, im so sorry cat..I been there.  was married for 15 yrs and the smuk cheated on me he was 45 and she was 19...it was such a hard time for me...but he is gone no except that i have to deal with him cause the kids..wish i can throw him under a bus :0

 

[Guest]

I cannot stop crying.  I have finals next week.  I just don't believe this is happening.  I feel so so helpless.  

 

[sadminion]

again im sorry cat, even though im with an awsome man now, i still get flash backs,  I cannot believe someone i was with 16 yrs married too 15 yrs would do such a thing.  The minute he asked for divorce i know right away, then he wasnt good at cleaning his tracks up.....top it off it was a girl who worked for him at where he works..she was going to quit and he had me talk to her to not quit..(what nerve) men can be real scums..

did he ever give u a reason cat?  you may hurt now but it does get less over time. i know that isnt much to how u feeling now but at least u know there is light at the end of this..

he lost out when he left you and u should know that!

 

[bunnies]

:hugs: for Cat. this sounds like a pretty rough breakup and i'm sorry your heart is hurting.

twice in my life i have felt immense heartbreak. the nausea, insomia, frequent crying spells, questioning everything, swollen eyes and headaches from the crying.  the anger of feeling so undervalued and precious time wasted, inability to focus, no appetite, wondering what was wrong with me for the split to occur. 

and both of those occasions gave me the gifts of time, space, and clarity. when i eventually stopped crying, pining, and looking back through rose-tinted glasses, i could plainly see the myriad of reasons why it couldn't work.

the first few weeks are the worst. you're half-dazed even as you go through your daily routine because you cannot believe that person isn't there, it feels disorienting and sad not sharing your life with that person anymore.  so many reminders everywhere - no more texting throughout the day, no more waking up under the same roof, no more specifying only half olives on a delivery pizza, one less toothbrush, no more hugs and smelling the inside of their neck, all those times you complained about cleaning up after them but you'd give anything to clean up after them now (bargaining with the universe.)  it especially sucks if you live alone with no roommates, kids, or pets. you are totally alone at home with your feelings and nothing to give affection to, and nothing to give you affection.

when you really love someone you never stop loving them, but the way you allow yourself to love them changes as time marches on.  you learn to live without them, happily.   you don't entirely "get over" someone you've loved deeply, but you do learn to live a happy fulfilling life without them, and loving another deeply thankfully isn't limited to a 1 time thing.

these are probably all just words on a screen right now, because what you're feeling is so very powerful.  i hope i don't sound patronising as that is not my intent.  this is the time for you to do as much of what feels good to you as you like (within reason of course.)  make time daily to pamper yourself somehow. the activities and hobbies you most enjoy should be taking priority because it will help you rebuild internally and keep your mind occupied with something positive.

i am sorry for your heartache Cat. i hope you are being extra nice to yourself. it's cliche but time does heal wounds. unfortunately when the wound is fresh time seems to stop.  that's why i'm suggesting you throw yourself in to positive, constructive things and be extra nice to yourself. it can help the wound heal faster without you even realising it until one day you're like "omg i haven't thought about ______ in weeks." 

 

[Roger]

Not anymore but I thought I was literally going to die from a broken heart exactly 5 years ago. I wish there was a magic balm I could give you or something to say to make you feel better. The truth is that this will take time. Know time passes and the pain lessens. 

Now, a bit of tough love. Block this OUT as you face your exams Cat. You've worked so hard and your education is something NO ONE can take away from you. It is yours and yours only.  Focus of your work now Cat. It will be the best gift you can give yourself. Feel free to PM if you want/need an ear. We love you here at DBG. 

 

[PTFC]

I'm so sorry Cat. I have had a few girlfriends, but the ones that hurt the most were my childhood sweetheart dumping me after 7 years or so and a later love who took her own life. I know it's so painful,  I really do.  This has come boom out of the blue also, not to mention the car trouble. Cat, if you can,  get these finals done, let's get you over that fund line too and boost you up, even a little.  ​Roger is spot on with second part,  get this stuff done. X

 

[sociopathicbombshell]

I wish I had anything to spare to send your way Cat. If you were here I know some roughneck boys that could build you a car, maybe it may have different colored panels but....we love you.  Times a hundred.  You are fun plus one. My little girl loves the man I am with. Sadly, things are not panning out. 

 

[Roger]

Lemme hear it.

PM sent 

 

[Suzie]

Cat, I'm so sorry this is happening to you and right before your finals... I just don't have the words but please know my heart and prayers are there for you.

 

[Smoka90]

I can only repeat what the others have said Cat, I'm so very sorry and I'm sending lots of love your way. You're very dear to all of us and there's a lot of people here who can help.

I don't have lots of practical advice, but please try to keep your chin up and stay strong.

You can PM me any time you need to, thinking of you at this awful time for you.

 

[sociopathicbombshell]

my mom always said, and in retrospect it makes me wonder what she was like as a young woman... Lol. The best way to get over one is to start spending time with another.

 

[John Benson]

. The best way to get over one is to start spending time with another.

​I tried that method when i was dumped by my high school sweetie and spend time with many for years afterand it didn't work. Even when i married my first wife i kept pining away for the this girl from years ago. The day i met my second wife however, all those thoughts disappeared immediately, till she left 13 or 14 years later-that did damn near kill me, several times. Problem is I am always looking for something or someone on the outside to fill a void on the inside.-I have not yet mastered this technique though otherwise i would have never joined this forum even though i do have my girl back (at this time-there are no guarantees in life with anything).

IHMO, once a person truly loves and accept themselves, there can be no dying of a broken heart. Sure there can be grief but no dying.

But like other posters have stated it gets better in time. Or i would describe it more as "different-not as intense"

Love-the most powerful drug in the universe

 

[Guest]

Oh sweet jesus--i want to cry for everyone now! 

I walked away from the love of my life because I knew, based on our circumstance, we would end up hating each other. 

And in truth my heart has been broken more for my girls then ever for myself. 

I made a resolution that anytime I was going to cry, going to be sad, lonely--whatever I would only allow it if I was on the treadmill. 20 years ago I had a banging body! /default_smile.png 

But seriously it helped me keep my sadness contained and made me focus. 

I know it's so cliche but I have learned it to be true: the door will open for you which means another one must close. Your job is to walk through that door trusting the universe (or GOD, if you are more comfortable with that!) does exactly what needs to be done. Trust that it all happens for a reason and each time there is a lesson to be learned. LEARN that lesson. If you ignore it then you will be bound to repeat it again. 

Sometimes heartache will be brought to heal. It may not seem that way but again please trust that nothing in ever wasted. 

I know this all sounds a little Buddy ' ish -- there is a good reason for that! /default_smile.png

Love yourself. Grow from the sorrows--listen to the lessons! You will push through this! 

 

[sociopathicbombshell]

Cat, I'm so sorry this is happening to you and right before your finals... I just don't have the words but please know my heart and prayers are there for you.

You had better own those effn finals and make them your b*tch. If you get through THAT, your dream has come true. Youll be kept so busy doing what you love that you will soon forget whatshisface. Study like your life depends on it Nd keep busy. ♥♡♥

 

[Guest]

I love that socio! We all need a you to give us a kick in the ass to flight right! /default_smile.png 

Dang Cat--better listen to socio or else you might could get a good smackdown! 

 

[Happypup]

Dear Cat,

I have been down this road where I felt so bad all I could do is crawl up in a ball and cry the days away.  I stepped out of my shell and got help.  Doctors, therapists  and  finally a psychologist.  Along with drugs.  I am slowing starting to feel hope, positive about life, making serious changes in my life that I hope lead me to a better place.

The ones who posted above me are so right in telling you to focus all you have in you to get those finals done.  This sounds like where you need to go with your life.  Your journey may be changing, and more than likely for the better.

Do whatever you have to, to get YOU in a better place.  But don't you dare take your eye off the prize.  You will be amazed what good, positive things will come in your life when they are supposed too.

You are a kind and giving soul, peace, happiness and comfort will come back to you in time.  Your light will be shining bright again soon!

Don't take your eye off the prize!!!  /default_smile.png

 

[Phrenicz]

Oh no!!!

How has all this happened while I've been away Cat Vixen?!.. Just read the car situation too?!... 

**infinite bat hugs** 

~P~

 

[Guest]

Thanks you guys!  I love you for commenting.  I thnk I am almost past the point of wanting to cry constantly.  It just sucks that we live together.  Being in love with the five kids too doesnt help /default_sad.png having my finals to focus on dos help.  I don't know if I am going to kick ass though.  It cannot be over soon enough.

meanwhile, i have reached a point in my life where noone is holding me to a certain area of th country.  Who knows where I will move to?  So far, it is looking like Florida.

reading your stories really helped me to feel better you guys......xoxoxoxo