My divorce was final on December 1, 2014 after over a year or lawyers, mediation, endless settlement offers, litigation - over six weeks of trial in The Court - custody disputes, an attorney for the children...a therapist, too. It was merciless, malicious and a well planned attack by an extreme narcissist. I was unknowingly photographed, recorded, videotaped, my laptop was keystroked and the hard drive copied, my private email was linked to my former spouse's IPhone (he received all the privileged/confidential emails between my attorney and I). My vehicles were GPS tracked - and when he finally moved out in May, severed the security system and took every single house key. False allegations, outright lies, bullying - even from my own attorneys and the children's attorney. I was in a state of constant defense - and so were my attorneys - because my former spouse took ALL the focus off him by making me appear absolutely crazy - just by pushing all the right buttons. And in case you're wondering, I did nothing wrong - other than drink a couple glasses of white wine at night with two Ambien!
I write daily in my journal and wanted to share the entry I made yesterday. I title each journal entry, and this was "The path to healing has no destination"
I believe in reincarnation. Not in the traditional sense. My feeling is that I have lived many lives within this lifetime. I've also observed that each new incarnation came about after a period of intense emotional pain. In other words, just like childbirth, it hurts to create a life. It hurts to be born. Or reborn. A lot of crying happens. Death, divorce - giving up a dream. Waking up from a dream. Suffering mental and verbal abuse. Substance abuse. Being publicly ridiculed by people I deeply trusted, and people I barely knew. All these things have led to my rebirth. To another new life.
The Buddha taught that change and impermanence is a fundamental fact of existence. He further pointed out that this fact made suffering inevitable. He didn't mention that sometimes, after the pain is gone, you open your eyes to a life beyond the pain. That's what happened to me. But I know this too shall pass. There's a new life awaiting my exploration, awaiting my rebirth.
I write daily in my journal and wanted to share the entry I made yesterday. I title each journal entry, and this was "The path to healing has no destination"
I believe in reincarnation. Not in the traditional sense. My feeling is that I have lived many lives within this lifetime. I've also observed that each new incarnation came about after a period of intense emotional pain. In other words, just like childbirth, it hurts to create a life. It hurts to be born. Or reborn. A lot of crying happens. Death, divorce - giving up a dream. Waking up from a dream. Suffering mental and verbal abuse. Substance abuse. Being publicly ridiculed by people I deeply trusted, and people I barely knew. All these things have led to my rebirth. To another new life.
The Buddha taught that change and impermanence is a fundamental fact of existence. He further pointed out that this fact made suffering inevitable. He didn't mention that sometimes, after the pain is gone, you open your eyes to a life beyond the pain. That's what happened to me. But I know this too shall pass. There's a new life awaiting my exploration, awaiting my rebirth.