Starting To Worry

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Ohh, I refuse to take SSRIs, I've been on damn near every one of them at one point or another and they've all made me violently ill. Paxil gave me suicidal ideation. Funny thing is, I told the doctor that I had been on Lexapro before (which was true) and it had made me ill, but I think that nowadays psychiatrists are required by our Lord Gods the pharmaceutical companies to prescribe them no matter the circumstances.

Psychiatrists have done more damage to me than anything else, that is a fact.
I know my shit, and the psychiatrist can pick up on this pretty quickly. We usually become a team. I fucked myself up anyway, mostly on the incredibly neurotoxic dissociatives. I go in there to remedy the damage. I've talked my current on into prescribing one of those notoriously dangerous and new doctor feared MAOI's. They work, they work fucking great! I can also predict the next med they will suggest. We discuss neurochemistry quite often, and I get more detailed information than your common patient. He knows that I will not take anything that I don't know the specific action of.

 
I know my shit, and the psychiatrist can pick up on this pretty quickly. We usually become a team. I fucked myself up anyway, mostly on the incredibly neurotoxic dissociatives. I go in there to remedy the damage. I've talked my current on into prescribing one of those notoriously dangerous and new doctor feared MAOI's. They work, they work fucking great! I can also predict the next med they will suggest. We discuss neurochemistry quite often, and I get more detailed information than your common patient. He knows that I will not take anything that I don't know the specific action of.
One of my main issues is trust; or more accurately my lack of trust. Over the years I've become very distrustful of most people, especially therapists of any kind. I've had horrible experiences with psychiatrists, the one who prescribed Paxil told me to keep taking it for two more weeks even after I told her it was giving me suicidal ideation. Needless to say, my anxiety went away after I heard that quack tell me that and I had a few choice words for her, refused to pay for that, the last visit, and from then on pretty much gave up on those charlatans.

If you know your shit, the MAOI's shouldn't be feared, you just have to be vigilant and avoid that long list of other meds and foods that react poorly with them. You know this, of course, and I'm glad you convinced your doctor to give them a chance. I've never tried an MAOI (except syrian rue when I made an ayahuasca analogue, but that's a completely different story), so for me it's only been a horrible tricyclic (Imipramine), bupropion, venlafaxine and of course, those delightful SSRI's.

 
One of my main issues is trust; or more accurately my lack of trust. Over the years I've become very distrustful of most people, especially therapists of any kind. I've had horrible experiences with psychiatrists, the one who prescribed Paxil told me to keep taking it for two more weeks even after I told her it was giving me suicidal ideation. Needless to say, my anxiety went away after I heard that quack tell me that and I had a few choice words for her, refused to pay for that, the last visit, and from then on pretty much gave up on those charlatans.

If you know your shit, the MAOI's shouldn't be feared, you just have to be vigilant and avoid that long list of other meds and foods that react poorly with them. You know this, of course, and I'm glad you convinced your doctor to give them a chance. I've never tried an MAOI (except syrian rue when I made an ayahuasca analogue, but that's a completely different story), so for me it's only been a horrible tricyclic (Imipramine), bupropion, venlafaxine and of course, those delightful SSRI's.
Staying away from meds and foods that are high in Tyramine is second nature to me, I find myself reading a lot of labels and doing a lot of research on recreational drugs, and just know my OTC's. Almost everything on the list can cause a hypertensive crisis. The one unique otc is cough syrup containing DXM. A few sips could actually lead to insanity, no fucking thanks! Being one who used to enjoy that stuff, I once downed a few bottles then realized my miscalculation, it wasn't 1000mg but 1700. DXM insanity is terrifying to say the least. I tried tricyclics on my own, ordered online. They were terrible. After a few days the dry mouth and brain fog took hold, I was done and felt sorry for anyone taking them. I quit AD's once to try Ayahuasca. I couldn't down all of it, but the effects were pretty annoying. I don't throw up, just don't, so there was GI distress, running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. The stupid Indian Gods kept floating around when I just wanted to go to bed. Syrian Rue, Caapi, and the like are MAO-B's, whereas the psych drugs are MAO-A's. I look up something new at least 2 or 3 times a week, the difference between the two is on my list. But psych drugs are not recommended for that beverage.

If I don't like a med, I discontinue it, but I've only done that with Abilify when I felt akathesia coming on, I am super prone to that. My current doctor has been in practice for over 30 years, he is the only one I've ever trusted. To convince him that an MAOI was the last resort before ECT, I made a list of every AD I had ever been on. All SSRI's and SNRI's. I was on all of them and they didn't work. There was only one I never had, but it was new. He described the action and I said there is no way in hell I would ever take something like that.

As for my knowledge base, I run into a lot of different meds in my line of work. Since drugs are an interest, a hobby, an obsession, and a person who cringes when they say, "the doctor gave it to me, I don't know what it does (sometimes they don't know the name, it's my yellow pill)". In my past life, you either knew, or I'm teaching you, but you're not getting it until you know why you are getting it. Not in depth, just, this is for your blood pressure, this is a blood thinner, this is for heartburn, this is for anxiety, and I'm gonna pump this fluid into your port for pain. If there was one I didn't know, I'd look it up to brief myself before I went in. Aside from that, I've lived on meds since 1996, being a well informed patient is a form of protection and a form of respect for your body in relation to knowing what is going in it.

 
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Yeah, you sound like you've had your share of experiences with the pharmaceuticals and I second that cringing when I see or hear of a person just blindly taking medication because a doctor prescribed it. You HAVE to take some responsibility for your own health and do a little research, if something seems wrong to you about the med you were prescribed, question the doctor. They aren't Gods, they make more mistakes than most people. How many people have been killed by irresponsible scripting of medications that the hapless patients didn't even need? Millions, I'm sure.

I'm doing as much as possible to stay off medication, it's only a maintenance dose of benzos for me now, but hell, I may do some reading and try syrian rue for my depression. Of course some serious reading is in order first, my benzos shouldn't be a problem as far as the rue is concerned, it's standardizing the dosage of any extract I make that concerns me.

You should write a book titled 'All you wanted to know about beta-carboline extraction but were afraid to ask', and be sure to send me a free signed copy!

B)

 
For me that cant happen. I wish. Little money now and I was treated to badly to even want to return to a walk in again. Should be the correct advice though indeed.

Starting to worry that’s all. Just as the thread is titled.
Oh Khalifa I'm sorry you are getting worried and yes times are hard in the restaurant business I'm sure especially in this economy. There is no excuse to be treated to bad at a clinic. I know because I was also not treated so hot myself and why I'll never go back. Personally I just feel your wife is not giving you the love and attention you deserve. You can do better Wiz
Sis

 
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recently i began running into some trouble as vitalis,id take combo of alp and diazepam,but more often i take less effect i achieve,i could go through the day with 10-15mg benzos (alp) and still be self conscious and anxious /default_blink.png its like wtf.only kick i get is zero sex drive at the end of the day and just want to crash and sleep,no interest in nothing.I dont know really sometimes i can take 1mg of alp and be myself and comfortable in group of friends or people,sometimes diazepam works for couple days even so then i can function properly no anxiety or fear in doing stuff.but once that wears off anxiety comes back and same circle again.im not everyday user but as time goes more often i slip one before going to sleep or doing something thatt would cause me panic.Anyway i began to dig a grave for myself as eventually meds will stop working.i know some of you might advise to start method to lower the dosage gradually but,one day can be benzo free for me next day can be 10mgs where i left.

 
recently i began running into some trouble as vitalis,id take combo of alp and diazepam,but more often i take less effect i achieve,i could go through the day with 10-15mg benzos (alp) and still be self conscious and anxious /default_blink.png its like wtf.only kick i get is zero sex drive at the end of the day and just want to crash and sleep,no interest in nothing.I dont know really sometimes i can take 1mg of alp and be myself and comfortable in group of friends or people,sometimes diazepam works for couple days even so then i can function properly no anxiety or fear in doing stuff.but once that wears off anxiety comes back and same circle again.im not everyday user but as time goes more often i slip one before going to sleep or doing something thatt would cause me panic.Anyway i began to dig a grave for myself as eventually meds will stop working.i know some of you might advise to start method to lower the dosage gradually but,one day can be benzo free for me next day can be 10mgs where i left.
We have advised that you taper off, trying to completely stop for a few days and then panicking and taking a large dose won't work. I was having a lot of trouble a little while back, but lately I've been doing better. Sure, I have bad days where I take some extra benzos, but most days, like today, I maintain with a morning and evening dose of diazepam.

The only way to come off of benzos is slow and steady, going without for a few days just causes your body distress and will end up causing you to binge on them when you can't stand the pain anymore.

I hope you'll try to start using a long half-life benzo to taper off, but aside from mentioning that again, I don't know what to say.

 
If its short term, alcohol helps immensely. I take around 6mg of alp a day. When I'm running low and waiting on an order, I'll have days where I can get all the way down to 1.5mg. That's dangerously low, but the alcohol does absolute wonders. I wouldnt recommend doing it for more than a week but for short term, its saved my ass a couple times

 
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