One of my main issues is trust; or more accurately my lack of trust. Over the years I've become very distrustful of most people, especially therapists of any kind. I've had horrible experiences with psychiatrists, the one who prescribed Paxil told me to keep taking it for two more weeks even after I told her it was giving me suicidal ideation. Needless to say, my anxiety went away after I heard that quack tell me that and I had a few choice words for her, refused to pay for that, the last visit, and from then on pretty much gave up on those charlatans.
If you know your shit, the MAOI's shouldn't be feared, you just have to be vigilant and avoid that long list of other meds and foods that react poorly with them. You know this, of course, and I'm glad you convinced your doctor to give them a chance. I've never tried an MAOI (except syrian rue when I made an ayahuasca analogue, but that's a completely different story), so for me it's only been a horrible tricyclic (Imipramine), bupropion, venlafaxine and of course, those delightful SSRI's.
Staying away from meds and foods that are high in Tyramine is second nature to me, I find myself reading a lot of labels and doing a lot of research on recreational drugs, and just know my OTC's. Almost everything on the list can cause a hypertensive crisis. The one unique otc is cough syrup containing DXM. A few sips could actually lead to insanity, no fucking thanks! Being one who used to enjoy that stuff, I once downed a few bottles then realized my miscalculation, it wasn't 1000mg but 1700. DXM insanity is terrifying to say the least. I tried tricyclics on my own, ordered online. They were terrible. After a few days the dry mouth and brain fog took hold, I was done and felt sorry for anyone taking them. I quit AD's once to try Ayahuasca. I couldn't down all of it, but the effects were pretty annoying. I don't throw up, just don't, so there was GI distress, running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. The stupid Indian Gods kept floating around when I just wanted to go to bed. Syrian Rue, Caapi, and the like are MAO-B's, whereas the psych drugs are MAO-A's. I look up something new at least 2 or 3 times a week, the difference between the two is on my list. But psych drugs are not recommended for that beverage.
If I don't like a med, I discontinue it, but I've only done that with Abilify when I felt akathesia coming on, I am super prone to that. My current doctor has been in practice for over 30 years, he is the only one I've ever trusted. To convince him that an MAOI was the last resort before ECT, I made a list of every AD I had ever been on. All SSRI's and SNRI's. I was on all of them and they didn't work. There was only one I never had, but it was new. He described the action and I said there is no way in hell I would ever take something like that.
As for my knowledge base, I run into a lot of different meds in my line of work. Since drugs are an interest, a hobby, an obsession, and a person who cringes when they say, "the doctor gave it to me, I don't know what it does (sometimes they don't know the name, it's my yellow pill)". In my past life, you either knew, or I'm teaching you, but you're not getting it until you know why you are getting it. Not in depth, just, this is for your blood pressure, this is a blood thinner, this is for heartburn, this is for anxiety, and I'm gonna pump this fluid into your port for pain. If there was one I didn't know, I'd look it up to brief myself before I went in. Aside from that, I've lived on meds since 1996, being a well informed patient is a form of protection and a form of respect for your body in relation to knowing what is going in it.
