Honestly, before reading this post, I always gave my user name in the email, and it’s never been a problem. If anything, it lets the vendor know you’re a member, s/he can check you out here, if s/he actually does check the forum. One vendor thanked me for putting it in my email, and he said he should start requiring it (he’s private now).
I didn’t realize before this post that we don’t need to give it, to protect us from retribution should we leave negative reviews. That makes sense.
So now I just say I’m a member, if it’s a vendor I’m writing for the first time. If a vendor is private, I think s/he is private for a reason, and wants to make sure someone didn’t get his or her contact without permission, since the vendor is private to keep the group small.
Thanks for the great topic. It’s good to know it’s not required.