A Taboo Subject

[PTFC]

I hope you get something positive from this thread smoka. It's good to talk mate.

 

[Phrenicz]

Hey Smoka!

I once had a girlfriend who covered her arms for the first couple of weeks of our relationship... I noticed this and suspected she had or was cutting herself?...

She found her home life much easier to handle while she was doing this?... If anything went wrong during the day, she would count one cut as resolving that issue?... She felt it was her only method of mental release... And she actually enjoyed it!... I totally get the 'cutting' thing?... To me, there is no difference between cutting yourself, or checking 20 things every fucking hour, making sure they're at perfect right angles?!... It's just another form of reassurance... Another mental anchor to get you through your day I suppose?

And we all need mental anchors, crutches etc...

Everybody has a way they deal with things... Just cause society doesn't deem it 'normal', doesn't mean it isn't!..

I'm convinced us lot are sane anyway, it's the rest of the world that's fucking mental!! : )

 

[Revenger]

Hey Smoka!

I once had a girlfriend who covered her arms for the first couple of weeks of our relationship... I noticed this and suspected she had or was cutting herself?...

She found her home life much easier to handle while she was doing this?... If anything went wrong during the day, she would count one cut as resolving that issue?... She felt it was her only method of mental release... And she actually enjoyed it!... I totally get the 'cutting' thing?... To me, there is no difference between cutting yourself, or checking 20 things every fucking hour, making sure they're at perfect right angles?!... It's just another form of reassurance... Another mental anchor to get you through your day I suppose?

And we all need mental anchors, crutches etc...

Everybody has a way they deal with things... Just cause society doesn't deem it 'normal', doesn't mean it isn't!..

I'm convinced us lot are sane anyway, it's the rest of the world that's fucking mental!! : )

That's such a lovely way to look at it. I totally agree.

You are such a great guy. How old are you? (Not a come on just wondering how you got so wise lol)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Phrenicz]

Ha!.. I am 37 Revenger, and must admit, I don't often get described as wise? : )...

 

[Revenger]

Well you definitely have a following round here who think you are. Apart from the crazy rituals obvs..but that's just a condition. It's not who you are. You are well cool and wise for sure

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[Phrenicz]

Well, right back at ya' Revenger : )

And it's nice to see you posting again! Told ya! ; )

 

[Guest]

I do love this forum, thanks for all the help everyone. =) Love you all.

I just hope I'll be able to help someone and give someone the support I've already had on this thread, eep...

There is such healing that comes from giving back. That is why I Mod here. You already have helped someone.

 

[Phrenicz]

Well said Johnnog... Wisdom comes from making mistakes and subsequently learning from them...

Unfortunately the people in power are psychopaths... They have no empathy, sympathy or wisdom... Just greed and an insatiable need to conquer, take and take, until there is nothing left...

They are so separated from reality and the day to day struggles of their underlings (us), that I fear they would struggle understanding half of the stuff written on these boards?..

Which is ironic really, as I think they need more access to IOP's than any of us?! : )

~P~

 

[Smoka90]

at least we all have the gift that are here,the gift of life,the most important and precious of any gifts.

Brilliantly said there, that's what I try to remind myself of everyday! =)

 

[Yukon4E2]

@smoka I gotta give you 'props' for initiating this thread here. It seems like a lot of ppl can relate to your experience (most definitely myself), and it seems we are all getting some insight and support. As you titled it...."taboo" topic .....rarely comes up, even when in deep conversation with a friend.

 

[tam]

I hesitate a lot to raise this. I've had crippling depression since for the last 10 years or so. This topic is about self harm. That's been with me for about 10 years now too. It seems more common than I think, and I wondered if any one else has to battle it. I managed to stop for about 6 months, but in the last few days the buzz and the blood is back. God.

It's taboo; people associate it with teenage angst or attention seeking, it's neither in most cases, it's been with me for too long. now I won't really be able to wear t shirts again this summer, just bloody pathetic.

If anyone else suffers with it, talking about it helps. but it's part of my addictive personality. I don't do things in moderation, this included.

I may regret posting this if no-one replies.

Dear Smoka90, you are so brave for posting this. From what I've read in your posts in this thread you are a compassionate person. Guiltcan help us to know wrong from right. Too much and it is devastating. You are not pathetic. I'm so glad to hear you have someone in your life.

I've tried to commit suicide several times and battled depression in my 20s and 30s. I've been addicted to several things. You are so right about

relapses and all the guilt. Drinking, crack, and smoking just to name a few. I still have a dragon to slue. May God's grace be with you. TAM

 

[2earls]

Dear Smoka90, you are so brave for posting this. From what I've read in your posts in this thread you are a compassionate person. Guiltcan help us to know wrong from right. Too much and it is devastating. You are not pathetic. I'm so glad to hear you have someone in your life.I've tried to commit suicide several times and battled depression in my 20s and 30s. I've been addicted to several things. You are so right aboutrelapses and all the guilt. Drinking, crack, and smoking just to name a few. I still have a dragon to slue. May God's grace be with you. TAM

And may it be with you as well, Tam. You will find a lot of support here, glad you are with us.

 

[tam]

And may it be with you as well, Tam. You will find a lot of support here, glad you are with us.

Thank you, after reading some of the posts I said to myself I've done that. But I thought it wasn't proper at that time to reply. But thisone really touched my heart.

 

[tam]

I do love this forum, thanks for all the help everyone. =) Love you all.

I just hope I'll be able to help someone and give someone the support I've already had on this thread, eep...

Hi Smoka90 hope you are feeling ok. I know I can't relate to your circumstances. But with me time has made it easier to stay awayfrom those things. Been sober and clean of the above mentioned for almost 18 years. Looks like you have a lot of friends who care about you.

tam

 

[Smoka90]

Hi Smoka90 hope you are feeling ok. I know I can't relate to your circumstances. But with me time has made it easier to stay away

from those things. Been sober and clean of the above mentioned for almost 18 years. Looks like you have a lot of friends who care about you.

tam

Hiya Tam. =)

You've done so well in going nearly 18 years, that takes a lot of determination and will power, and it seems you have both in good amount. =) I hope you're feeling more stable now. Luckily it's been about 3 years since I felt suicidal, that desperation is hell, it's horrible, a feeling you don't forget, when you just want to dissolve. For me it was easier to get off my head than it was to do anything more permanent.

I'm still in the same place as when I made this thread sadly, injuries are getting sort of worse, trying to climb to higher peaks, blah blah...but yeah, hopefully in time I'll get better.

Thanks for all your kind words and I hope you get the support I've found in such huge amount here, you will get my support for certain. =)

 

[tam]

Hiya Tam. =)

You've done so well in going nearly 18 years, that takes a lot of determination and will power, and it seems you have both in good amount. =) I hope you're feeling more stable now. Luckily it's been about 3 years since I felt suicidal, that desperation is hell, it's horrible, a feeling you don't forget, when you just want to dissolve. For me it was easier to get off my head than it was to do anything more permanent.

I'm still in the same place as when I made this thread sadly, injuries are getting sort of worse, trying to climb to higher peaks, blah blah...but yeah, hopefully in time I'll get better.

Thanks for all your kind words and I hope you get the support I've found in such huge amount here, you will get my support for certain. =)

Dear Smoka90 I wish I could give you a big hug. I am so sorry to hear that you are in the same place. Thank you for your offer ofsupport. Sorry I didn't get back to sooner was trying to think of something to say to lift you up. But I know when your

are in that downward

spiral the things people say just don't matter. They can't understand what you are feeling. tam

 

[Smoka90]

Dear Smoka90 I wish I could give you a big hug. I am so sorry to hear that you are in the same place. Thank you for your offer of

support. Sorry I didn't get back to sooner was trying to think of something to say to lift you up. But I know when your

are in that downward

spiral the things people say just don't matter. They can't understand what you are feeling. tam

Thanks again for the concern, but it's probably not as bad as I am making out, and it's been a while since I felt suicidal for a prolonged period of time.

The SH has gone in the past, I hope it will go again soon. But when there's blood drops all over my laptop, it's a bit.blegh...

but luckily in real life I do have a few people to talk to, including my other half, and she is a huge help.

But once again, if you ever need a listening ear, just holler. =)

 

[Yukon4E2]

Smoka...I want you to stop hurting yourself. If I can do anything at all to help you, please please let me know. I know it's a paltry offer, but I cannot help myself. When i hear the hurting, especially this type of pain...I have to go with my gut and ask you to not do it (even though i know i have no right), and offering to help in any way I can.

No pressure at all. But if you ever want to PM about it, or trade war stories, or talk about things that help the urges...i'm here !

 

[Smoka90]

Smoka...I want you to stop hurting yourself. If I can do anything at all to help you, please please let me know. I know it's a paltry offer, but I cannot help myself. When i hear the hurting, especially this type of pain...I have to go with my gut and ask you to not do it (even though i know i have no right), and offering to help in any way I can.

No pressure at all. But if you ever want to PM about it, or trade war stories, or talk about things that help the urges...i'm here !

Thanks matey, but as much as I'd love to be able to stop or at least cut down (I don't care if it is bad taste - I liked that pun), I'm finding it too difficult at the moment, even to just think about stopping or slowing down.

It's still nothing compared to how other people have and are suffering, so I guess it's not an enormous deal. But I might take you up on the offer on the PM at some point; thanks again. =)

 

[Bloom]

My six year old daughter began self- mutilating herself using her fingernails when my husband and I were separated. But, deep cuts - troughs into her legs and arms - scars (her therapist says) will most likely last a lifetime. After the therapist and I explained why scraping at her skin is not "good" she began biting off her fingernails and toenails. She's now 7-years old. She has a lot of anxiety since our divorce (3-months ago). She's highly sensitive. Her energy has faded and she's becoming more introverted. The father gained full custody (read the "So I'm getting a divorce" thread if you want the details) - but in summation - she's absolutely miserable, neglected and morphing into a person I never thought possible.

If anyone has advice to offer, to help me help my young daughter ward off a lifetime of cutting - share with me now.

Bloom