am i depressed or am i going through a new addiction?

mr cool guy,

       You have nothing to be embarrassed by, I think a hell of a lot of men are doing the sme thing you are doing but just don't admit to it. It's a hell of a lot better than my ex husbands addictions, sex with crack whores. So feel good about that, you got that going for you! We all are messed up and have problems or we wouldn't be on this board, nothing is embarrassing to me anymore, I have found that someone here is going through or has gone through the same thing I've been through! Look at me, I just got out of prison and have to stay in ohio the worst state in the USA with a soon to be ex husband I can't stand, and as much as I convinced myself I wouldn't use when I got out of prison, I was clean for almost a year through the trial and while I did my six months but all the hurt and pain came back to me, and I wanted to numb it so I copped a few morpine and methadone, I only used three times, but I know after many years of addiction I knew where this was going, so I got on Suboxone with my p.o. 'S approval, and weaning off slowly. I feel like a total dumbass for going back to it after all that dean time, but it is what it is.  I know my warning signs by now, depression, boredom, my ex and my child driving me literally crazy, stress of moving, etc...

im not a goody goody as you all probably know but I did work at a strip club, not as a stripper but as a cocktail waitress, pretty gross when I look back on it, men felt they could literally cop a feel if they left a tip on the waistband on my skirt. The girls there were horrible, they treated each other horribly, and the men worse. They would do a lap dance for a man them make fun of the dumb loser or trick as they call them that just gave them a two hundred dollar tip. I found them pathetic and mean, not to mention the prostitution that went on in the parking lot between their sets.

i had a man like you who did ask for lap dance from me, I drew the line at taking my clothes off, mostly because I had tiny boobs back then and I was embarrassed, but even so, I still don't believe I would strip. I became good friends with this gentleman, his name was tony and he didn't care that I didn't give him a lap dance, it seemed to me is that he was lonely and wanted any kind of interaction with a woman, all we did was talk and he came back and requested me every time I worked. I'm are not all strippers are evil, I not going to lump them in one category but that's how it was at the place I worked, and by the way i was 21, and after 3 months I quit, I felt it was a dirty, vile goss business, all the dancers were on heroin or meth and they kind of cut corners getting their money by stripping, but most all of them were giving hummers and lord knows what else in the back parking lot.

I know many people that I love offered you good advice, can you look deep inside yourself and find out what's missing in your life? Find something that you enjoy to replace it, because I hate to sound harsh, but I've been there before and these women are the best actors in the world, they don't care about you, all they care about is your wallet. You sound like a very nice like able guy, and I hate to see you being used up by these women. I worked at one of the best gentemrens club in Florida and all I found was ugliness. If there is anyway I can help, please write me. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Love and light, heav

 
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@heavenlee, your awesome thanks, i like your stylezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz /default_smile.png 

 
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  1. M @ meepmoopmeep: Kiffin is a traitor and he and LSU deserve each other since they’re both complete trash
  2. D @ drdrizzy13: yea he's a joke lol. Can't stand him.
  3. L @ Layne_Cobain: You know who rly sucks…lane kiffin 😂 dude is all that’s wrong with college sports or at least a big chunk of it…and he lied about being told he could still coach ole miss in the playoffs
  4. D @ drdrizzy13: Hey at least Ole Miss got in. I can't stand LSU. They really sucked this year.
  5. M @ meepmoopmeep: as an A&M fan I’m content with us missing the SECCG for that reason. Georgia about to fuck Alabama up
  6. D @ drdrizzy13: Yeah I agree if bama loses I think they are out. That would be 3 losses. I don't see a 3 loss team getting in this year.
  7. L @ Layne_Cobain: Yeah that’s why sark was pleading his case about that Texas shouldn’t be punished for scheduling a non conference game against the best team and losing if they hadn’t done that they’d probably be in but oh well way it goes there’s always gonna be a few teams who get robbed or feel they got robbed even with a 12 team playofff…if bama loses to Georgia I’d think they’d be out but who knows
  8. D @ drdrizzy13: Alabama also lost to Florida State pretty bad. Whom Florida beat. I just think if they didn't decide to play ohio state the first game. They would be in with 2 losses instead of Alabama.
  9. M @ meepmoopmeep: @drdrizzy13 Texas lost to Florida of all teams, they weren’t heading for the playoffs anyways imo. At least not this year
  10. D @ drdrizzy13: Texas is offically out of the playoffs they didn't make the top 12. I do wish they were in it. They showed up against Texas AM. But there fatal flaw was scheduling Ohio State for their opening. Which would have been great if they won but they are a 3 loss team now.
  11. L @ Layne_Cobain: Yeah idk about arch I could see him staying with Sark for another year but if he plays rly well in the playoff who knows that is if they get in
  12. D @ drdrizzy13: Man a lot of Saints fan want Arch but I think he said he is playing another year. I would take him probably. But if Texas AM QB comes out or Ohio State's I think you gotta take one if your picking top 2.
  13. L @ Layne_Cobain: Is the qb class supposed to be stacked or thin for draft in April I follow college ball but I can’t think right now I think there’s def at least a few high potential qb declaring
  14. D @ drdrizzy13: Right now I believe we pick 2nd. ATM.
  15. D @ drdrizzy13: At first I figured he might be able to do something but our position players suck. We are playing a rookie QB. O-line sucks. It needs to be blown up. I hope we tank for the first pick
  16. L @ Layne_Cobain: Hopefully you guys maybe find a solid qb option in the draft you should end up with a very good pick
  17. L @ Layne_Cobain: Yeah dude Moore def does not seem like the guy for yall need to clean house
  18. D @ drdrizzy13: I should say our receivers suck
  19. D @ drdrizzy13: AK is hurt. Our receivers hurt and our starting QB went to college for fucking 6 years. If that tells you something. Also he never completed a complete season in college due to injury. We need a new GM and FAST. And surprisingly Kellen Moore's play calling has been TERRIBLE.
  20. L @ Layne_Cobain: @drdrizzy13 my boy from way back is a die hard NOLA fan we have some pretty solid back n forth trash talk thru the years haha
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