am i depressed or am i going through a new addiction?

mr cool guy,

       You have nothing to be embarrassed by, I think a hell of a lot of men are doing the sme thing you are doing but just don't admit to it. It's a hell of a lot better than my ex husbands addictions, sex with crack whores. So feel good about that, you got that going for you! We all are messed up and have problems or we wouldn't be on this board, nothing is embarrassing to me anymore, I have found that someone here is going through or has gone through the same thing I've been through! Look at me, I just got out of prison and have to stay in ohio the worst state in the USA with a soon to be ex husband I can't stand, and as much as I convinced myself I wouldn't use when I got out of prison, I was clean for almost a year through the trial and while I did my six months but all the hurt and pain came back to me, and I wanted to numb it so I copped a few morpine and methadone, I only used three times, but I know after many years of addiction I knew where this was going, so I got on Suboxone with my p.o. 'S approval, and weaning off slowly. I feel like a total dumbass for going back to it after all that dean time, but it is what it is.  I know my warning signs by now, depression, boredom, my ex and my child driving me literally crazy, stress of moving, etc...

im not a goody goody as you all probably know but I did work at a strip club, not as a stripper but as a cocktail waitress, pretty gross when I look back on it, men felt they could literally cop a feel if they left a tip on the waistband on my skirt. The girls there were horrible, they treated each other horribly, and the men worse. They would do a lap dance for a man them make fun of the dumb loser or trick as they call them that just gave them a two hundred dollar tip. I found them pathetic and mean, not to mention the prostitution that went on in the parking lot between their sets.

i had a man like you who did ask for lap dance from me, I drew the line at taking my clothes off, mostly because I had tiny boobs back then and I was embarrassed, but even so, I still don't believe I would strip. I became good friends with this gentleman, his name was tony and he didn't care that I didn't give him a lap dance, it seemed to me is that he was lonely and wanted any kind of interaction with a woman, all we did was talk and he came back and requested me every time I worked. I'm are not all strippers are evil, I not going to lump them in one category but that's how it was at the place I worked, and by the way i was 21, and after 3 months I quit, I felt it was a dirty, vile goss business, all the dancers were on heroin or meth and they kind of cut corners getting their money by stripping, but most all of them were giving hummers and lord knows what else in the back parking lot.

I know many people that I love offered you good advice, can you look deep inside yourself and find out what's missing in your life? Find something that you enjoy to replace it, because I hate to sound harsh, but I've been there before and these women are the best actors in the world, they don't care about you, all they care about is your wallet. You sound like a very nice like able guy, and I hate to see you being used up by these women. I worked at one of the best gentemrens club in Florida and all I found was ugliness. If there is anyway I can help, please write me. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Love and light, heav

 
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@heavenlee, your awesome thanks, i like your stylezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz /default_smile.png 

 
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  1. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MrFuszy broo big dawg chill out on posting shit like that on here you’re gonna catch a ban or even worse. be mindful of mentioning others’ names as well. be smarter
  2. L @ Layne_Cobain: @maoi thanks for the input tho I think I’d def go the route of using hcg if I do go w TrT
  3. L @ Layne_Cobain: @maoi nah no fear of needles and if it made me feel a lot better no fear of being on it long term as who knows if my t will even rebound after 5 years on methadone not sure if that’s the norm I hope so…the more I research the more it seems like the best choice is to just go for it with TrT rather than trying to “middle” with Enclomiphene especially now that i know it probably won’t work being on methadone altho I am tapering off 5 mg biweekly so that’ll take a while I’m at 95 now from 120
  4. moai @ moai: @Layne_Cobain the longer you’re on it without using HCG sometimes, (meaning years) the harder it will be to rebound if you do come off. But I’m with you, at only 22, I’ve abused myself to the point I may NEED trt. Not to mention all of the benefits
  5. moai @ moai: @Layne_Cobain You don’t seem it, but if you are the type that’s afraid of needles for life, don’t sweat it. I’m natty atm, but from what I hear A) you won’t want to come off and B) if you implement HCG every once in a while to your protocol, you have a better chance of being able to come off T completely and restore all (or most) of your natty production. Of course, no guarantees and it is dependent on the individual, genetics, compounds and duration of exposure, etc.
  6. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood when you began the Enclomiphene, were you already off opiates? Cause after further research I don’t think it’ll even work while still on methadone…I think trt with hcg to preserve fertility and ball size is the way to go for me. I just wanna feel better. Thanks for your input on the matter btw
  7. aarons @ aarons: buddy lay that cr@ck pipe down, the weekend barely started
  8. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: what an odyssey of shoutbox madness! I love it
  9. L @ luquitoad: Hahahahaj
  10. L @ Layne_Cobain: I’ll have whatever this crazy sonofabitch is having 🥂
  11. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: I was pissed off though! Someone pulled a pistol on me so i was gona show him how much of a hoe i was by getting him out that house
  12. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Oh i actually still have the Police report on file somewherez you can see the tractor marks wjhere I just took out the fence and whatnot
  13. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: And the cops or the judge were halpy sbout that.
  14. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: I texted her and was ummm so i might have had a ooopsie but ij RL and like i know its been like ocer a year but it wasn't cuz i hated you or anything it was because i stole a skytrack forklift and demolished a house and hig 14 cars and knocked down a churches fence
  15. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Oh in mote news no one cares about, I finally talked to m6 chick who I said nothing too im 14months when i got locked up
  16. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Roughly 300, maybe more like 260 now
  17. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Lighters, 300 bars a melted snicks and hugging a bong
  18. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: You know you got fucked up wnen you wake up check your pockets and have 7li
  19. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Bro make it a triple ahot
  20. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Taqilla never silvers!
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