am i depressed or am i going through a new addiction?

mr cool guy,

       You have nothing to be embarrassed by, I think a hell of a lot of men are doing the sme thing you are doing but just don't admit to it. It's a hell of a lot better than my ex husbands addictions, sex with crack whores. So feel good about that, you got that going for you! We all are messed up and have problems or we wouldn't be on this board, nothing is embarrassing to me anymore, I have found that someone here is going through or has gone through the same thing I've been through! Look at me, I just got out of prison and have to stay in ohio the worst state in the USA with a soon to be ex husband I can't stand, and as much as I convinced myself I wouldn't use when I got out of prison, I was clean for almost a year through the trial and while I did my six months but all the hurt and pain came back to me, and I wanted to numb it so I copped a few morpine and methadone, I only used three times, but I know after many years of addiction I knew where this was going, so I got on Suboxone with my p.o. 'S approval, and weaning off slowly. I feel like a total dumbass for going back to it after all that dean time, but it is what it is.  I know my warning signs by now, depression, boredom, my ex and my child driving me literally crazy, stress of moving, etc...

im not a goody goody as you all probably know but I did work at a strip club, not as a stripper but as a cocktail waitress, pretty gross when I look back on it, men felt they could literally cop a feel if they left a tip on the waistband on my skirt. The girls there were horrible, they treated each other horribly, and the men worse. They would do a lap dance for a man them make fun of the dumb loser or trick as they call them that just gave them a two hundred dollar tip. I found them pathetic and mean, not to mention the prostitution that went on in the parking lot between their sets.

i had a man like you who did ask for lap dance from me, I drew the line at taking my clothes off, mostly because I had tiny boobs back then and I was embarrassed, but even so, I still don't believe I would strip. I became good friends with this gentleman, his name was tony and he didn't care that I didn't give him a lap dance, it seemed to me is that he was lonely and wanted any kind of interaction with a woman, all we did was talk and he came back and requested me every time I worked. I'm are not all strippers are evil, I not going to lump them in one category but that's how it was at the place I worked, and by the way i was 21, and after 3 months I quit, I felt it was a dirty, vile goss business, all the dancers were on heroin or meth and they kind of cut corners getting their money by stripping, but most all of them were giving hummers and lord knows what else in the back parking lot.

I know many people that I love offered you good advice, can you look deep inside yourself and find out what's missing in your life? Find something that you enjoy to replace it, because I hate to sound harsh, but I've been there before and these women are the best actors in the world, they don't care about you, all they care about is your wallet. You sound like a very nice like able guy, and I hate to see you being used up by these women. I worked at one of the best gentemrens club in Florida and all I found was ugliness. If there is anyway I can help, please write me. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Love and light, heav

 
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@heavenlee, your awesome thanks, i like your stylezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz /default_smile.png 

 
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Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. B @ bigblueallda: That sucks @CalFresh do you think it was an inside job? Or someone that knew.
  2. crimp @ crimp: do you live in a dangerous area maybe try moving to the country when you get back on your feet you seem to understant crypto beter then me so youll be on your feet in no time
  3. crimp @ crimp: do you live in a dangerous area maybe try moving to the country when you get back on your feet you seem to understant crypto beter then me so youll be on your feet in no time
  4. crimp @ crimp: glad youre good buddy
  5. CalFresh @ CalFresh: Thanks everyone. My family and I are safe ATM. @mellowella thank you, but they cleaned me out. the shelves are empty but I'm hoping to call in some favors to restock ASAP. @xenxra I will reach out to set up a secure comms channel for us. Thanks again all. Yesterday was tough, but the support I've received from those I can share is with has been a Godsend.
  6. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Mad love to you and your family @CalFresh
  7. xenxra @ xenxra: @CalFresh if you are able to DM me (in a secure manner) the transactions associated with your btc theft, i can look into that part for you at least. i;m still 99% certain if the fbi didn't discard my leads they could have gotten some of my coins back and considering you had your coins stolen within the us, you have a much better chance of recovery than me. unless they went through mixers i could probably trace them myself.
  8. O @ Outsider9173: @CalFresh Haven't been here long but I want to wish you a fast recovery
  9. crimp @ crimp: neck spine surgery 8 ribs broke and scalp split onen about 6 inches
  10. crimp @ crimp: need some help dude im so injured its not even funny dm me for details just need someone willing to help me fust for a week
  11. CnC5 @ CnC5: @CalFresh if theres anything i can do brother lmk!
  12. M @ Mokachin0: @CalFresh email me I may be able to assist
  13. mellowella @ mellowella: I will always remember what you did for me the very first time I donated. I have been waiting to pay that kindness forward.
  14. mellowella @ mellowella: @CalFresh are you and your family safe? You’ve helped me in a pinch and were more than generous, and I’m sure you’ve helped others. How can we help you? Does it help at all if we completely buy out what’s left? Maybe that gives time and funds to restock and rebuild? I don’t want to break any rules here, but please let us know if we can do anything. All on your time of course.
  15. CalFresh @ CalFresh: thanks guys. I'm pulling together what I have left and leaning on the kindness of folks who support me to restock my shelves so that I can keep the lights on. Having my savings drained and my security vanish in an instant is paralyzing and the repercussions will only be realized in the coming days and weeks. for now I'm just trying to stay focused on the immediate priorities for ensuring this doesn't. cause cataclysmic failure to the life I've built for my children and I.
  16. H @ hotdog45: @CalFresh hey man if I can do anything, anything at all to help you get back on your feet let me know. Truly my heart goes out to you. I sent you an email also
  17. G @ gfunkster: @CalFresh im really sorry to hear that. But remember karma is real my man. They just fd their karma for a long time.
  18. Telp @ Telp: @CalFresh Thats so fucked man. Im glad you’re safe! And wishing you the best. What a bunch of scumbags.
  19. 0 @ 0osten: @CalFresh wow man.....I'm glad you're safe. Keep us updated, prayers for you bro
  20. CalFresh @ CalFresh: everyone here is safe. I was here alone.
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