am i depressed or am i going through a new addiction?

mr cool guy,

       You have nothing to be embarrassed by, I think a hell of a lot of men are doing the sme thing you are doing but just don't admit to it. It's a hell of a lot better than my ex husbands addictions, sex with crack whores. So feel good about that, you got that going for you! We all are messed up and have problems or we wouldn't be on this board, nothing is embarrassing to me anymore, I have found that someone here is going through or has gone through the same thing I've been through! Look at me, I just got out of prison and have to stay in ohio the worst state in the USA with a soon to be ex husband I can't stand, and as much as I convinced myself I wouldn't use when I got out of prison, I was clean for almost a year through the trial and while I did my six months but all the hurt and pain came back to me, and I wanted to numb it so I copped a few morpine and methadone, I only used three times, but I know after many years of addiction I knew where this was going, so I got on Suboxone with my p.o. 'S approval, and weaning off slowly. I feel like a total dumbass for going back to it after all that dean time, but it is what it is.  I know my warning signs by now, depression, boredom, my ex and my child driving me literally crazy, stress of moving, etc...

im not a goody goody as you all probably know but I did work at a strip club, not as a stripper but as a cocktail waitress, pretty gross when I look back on it, men felt they could literally cop a feel if they left a tip on the waistband on my skirt. The girls there were horrible, they treated each other horribly, and the men worse. They would do a lap dance for a man them make fun of the dumb loser or trick as they call them that just gave them a two hundred dollar tip. I found them pathetic and mean, not to mention the prostitution that went on in the parking lot between their sets.

i had a man like you who did ask for lap dance from me, I drew the line at taking my clothes off, mostly because I had tiny boobs back then and I was embarrassed, but even so, I still don't believe I would strip. I became good friends with this gentleman, his name was tony and he didn't care that I didn't give him a lap dance, it seemed to me is that he was lonely and wanted any kind of interaction with a woman, all we did was talk and he came back and requested me every time I worked. I'm are not all strippers are evil, I not going to lump them in one category but that's how it was at the place I worked, and by the way i was 21, and after 3 months I quit, I felt it was a dirty, vile goss business, all the dancers were on heroin or meth and they kind of cut corners getting their money by stripping, but most all of them were giving hummers and lord knows what else in the back parking lot.

I know many people that I love offered you good advice, can you look deep inside yourself and find out what's missing in your life? Find something that you enjoy to replace it, because I hate to sound harsh, but I've been there before and these women are the best actors in the world, they don't care about you, all they care about is your wallet. You sound like a very nice like able guy, and I hate to see you being used up by these women. I worked at one of the best gentemrens club in Florida and all I found was ugliness. If there is anyway I can help, please write me. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Love and light, heav

 
Last edited by a moderator:
@heavenlee, your awesome thanks, i like your stylezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz /default_smile.png 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. xenxra @ xenxra: @WTF7218 it may as well be that way with how little effort some of the people on here make to find information that's exactly where you would expect it to be.
  2. ontovzik @ ontovzik: When I had long term shingles, lasting two months. All he could give me was a 10 day supply of dilaudid. He looked at the ground while we were talking about it. I could tell he was ashamed but it was the legislature and the governor that tied his hands. He was very upset that non-medical political people, the media, and the scared public were controlling how he treated his patients. Someday those people will need meds and a hospital bed and they will be gone.
  3. ontovzik @ ontovzik: I had a great doctor, he had the true gift of a healer and he stayed on top of all the science. He straight up told me that for many people opiods work for managing short and long term pain.
  4. ontovzik @ ontovzik: He peed it in the snow in my backyard.
  5. WTF7218 @ WTF7218: @xenxra 😆😂. Yes, but only a few brave souls will ever find the number. You must first order a Dirty Shirley from the bartender. Then you must discreetly take the cocktail napkin from under your drink and unfold it. There you will find the map to the location of the phone number, and clues to decipher the code that it is written in.
  6. xenxra @ xenxra: he left his phone number scribbled in a stall at the pub three blocks down
  7. N @ NYStateofMind: @Alkazar I would try one of those easy online ones .. reddit gives useful info about that
  8. Alkazar @ Alkazar: @NYStateofMind I dont really have a history of abusing things, my docotr is just really stingy. I am thinking of switching.
  9. C @ Cheesus: Thanks xenxra
  10. xenxra @ xenxra: @Cheesus yeah, use snote
  11. P @ psychedpsych: Trump is cracking down….
  12. P @ psychedpsych: Hackers are the scum of the earth
  13. N @ NYStateofMind: so it was easy bc of my history
  14. N @ NYStateofMind: I didnt really tell him but he knew I needed a new script since my dr went to jail
  15. N @ NYStateofMind: @xenxra I was on Adderall since 15 years ago so my dr prescribed that w no problems and then when I lost my best friend my doctor rxed the valiums but
  16. C @ Cheesus: Temp.pm down for anyone else?
  17. xenxra @ xenxra: @NYStateofMind my doctor's have always been pretty open minded if i can actually come in and explain the pharmacological action of the drugs im seeking instead of just telling them why i think i should be prescribed. the only time it didn't work out for me is when i was trying pharmaceuticals for depression ten years ago and suggested they let me try testosterone instead (turns out i was hypogonadal so they made a mistake denying my request at face value)
  18. T @ Testisthebest: Even down here in Florida when the pill mill docs all switched over to Suboxone and/or retired you can still find some pretty liberal docs but you gotta know what to look for. Mine does "pain management, detox, anxiety,etc. And no insurance. My doc writes me 60 5mg Valium, 14 2mg Xanax and asked if I had ever tried adderal to get more focus at work as I told him I run my own business.
  19. N @ NYStateofMind: @Alkazar do they know your history? Like I dont tell my doctor anything about myself except what they need to know,...I was able to get my dr to rx the highest dose of adderall along with valiums ..... if they dont know your history or there is no history I would just come out and ask what is the reason for their mistreatment.... they have no problem billing your insurance or taking a payment for the visit
  20. T @ Turbo259: @Layne_Cobain Thank you fam
Back
Top