am i depressed or am i going through a new addiction?

Hey mrcoolguy, i have missed you!  I am NOT saying that strippers are bad people...not at all.  I so agree with rvsalesguy that you should try and taper off of the clubs.  Maybe do a rewards system....for every five successful workouts, go to the club.  It is OK to like to go to the gentlemens club.  Just not all of the time.  there is a shitton of ladies that want to hang with you...andnot just at the strip clubs.  They are everywhere.  I think online dating is a great way to make friends!  You could also take fun classes...like cooking or art. Art is amazing.  I wasnt into it at all until I accompanied my bf to one of his classes at the art institute.  You can really make a day of that!  It is SO interesting too!  

Being single can suck sometimes.  I am newly single and pissed.....but I already am reaping certain benefits.  

Love you lots!
​Hey Cat, wow...really? Newly single? Otter bailed? Or did you kick him out..I guess I've been away too long sweetie. I see your car fund has bumped up, and you have almost met your goal...Congrats! Luv ya gurl..

-YB
THERE you are!  Yeah, he broke up with me.  I was freakin devastated when it happened.  I am not a big cryer but i cried for a week.  And no, I didn't call him a pussy in the grocery store again.  Lol!  We are both pretty mature about th situation, and for financial reasons, we will still live together for a couple of months yet.  

You, of all people here, really  know how much i love the guy......this is really really weird and TOTALLY unexpected.  I am in love with the whole family. This really fucking hurts.  I feel like I am gonna die from a broken heart.  I know I wil be fine though.  Time IS on my side.  

 
Hey mrcoolguy, i have missed you!  I am NOT saying that strippers are bad people...not at all.  I so agree with rvsalesguy that you should try and taper off of the clubs.  Maybe do a rewards system....for every five successful workouts, go to the club.  It is OK to like to go to the gentlemens club.  Just not all of the time.  there is a shitton of ladies that want to hang with you...andnot just at the strip clubs.  They are everywhere.  I think online dating is a great way to make friends!  You could also take fun classes...like cooking or art. Art is amazing.  I wasnt into it at all until I accompanied my bf to one of his classes at the art institute.  You can really make a day of that!  It is SO interesting too!  

Being single can suck sometimes.  I am newly single and pissed.....but I already am reaping certain benefits.  

Love you lots!
​Hey Cat, wow...really? Newly single? Otter bailed? Or did you kick him out..I guess I've been away too long sweetie. I see your car fund has bumped up, and you have almost met your goal...Congrats! Luv ya gurl..

-YB
THERE you are!  Yeah, he broke up with me.  I was freakin devastated when it happened.  I am not a big cryer but i cried for a week.  And no, I didn't call him a pussy in the grocery store again.  Lol!  We are both pretty mature about th situation, and for financial reasons, we will still live together for a couple of months yet.  

You, of all people here, really  know how much i love the guy......this is really really weird and TOTALLY unexpected.  I am in love with the whole family. This really fucking hurts.  I feel like I am gonna die from a broken heart.  I know I wil be fine though.  Time IS on my side.  

The car fund is AMAZING. I need like three hundred dollars more. I already brought the car in. I am listing possessions like a mad woman on ebay. Lol! I cannot believe how much money you raised for me. This is a miracle in my life that this happened! It makes me feel very good and I appreciate it so VERY much. This is like one of the top five things that have happened in my whole life! Xoxoxoxoxo
 
Hey mrcoolguy, i have missed you!  I am NOT saying that strippers are bad people...not at all.  I so agree with rvsalesguy that you should try and taper off of the clubs.  Maybe do a rewards system....for every five successful workouts, go to the club.  It is OK to like to go to the gentlemens club.  Just not all of the time.  there is a shitton of ladies that want to hang with you...andnot just at the strip clubs.  They are everywhere.  I think online dating is a great way to make friends!  You could also take fun classes...like cooking or art. Art is amazing.  I wasnt into it at all until I accompanied my bf to one of his classes at the art institute.  You can really make a day of that!  It is SO interesting too!  

Being single can suck sometimes.  I am newly single and pissed.....but I already am reaping certain benefits.  

Love you lots!
​Hey Cat, wow...really? Newly single? Otter bailed? Or did you kick him out..I guess I've been away too long sweetie. I see your car fund has bumped up, and you have almost met your goal...Congrats! Luv ya gurl..

-YB
THERE you are!  Yeah, he broke up with me.  I was freakin devastated when it happened.  I am not a big cryer but i cried for a week.  And no, I didn't call him a pussy in the grocery store again.  Lol!  We are both pretty mature about th situation, and for financial reasons, we will still live together for a couple of months yet.  

You, of all people here, really  know how much i love the guy......this is really really weird and TOTALLY unexpected.  I am in love with the whole family. This really fucking hurts.  I feel like I am gonna die from a broken heart.  I know I wil be fine though.  Time IS on my side.  

The car fund is AMAZING. I need like three hundred dollars more. I already brought the car in. I am listing possessions like a mad woman on ebay. Lol! I cannot believe how much money you raised for me. This is a miracle in my life that this happened! It makes me feel very good and I appreciate it so VERY much. This is like one of the top five things that have happened in my whole life! Xoxoxoxoxo
 
Hey Cat, What are doing Sat night? And don't say washing your hair!
I wish i lived closer!  Hehe,  you would be amazing company fo me right now!  We could bang our heads!  I could cook for you and we could pig out!  

 
i met a new girl today at the place... after surfing for 5hours, and kept telling my self over and over dont do it just get some tree and go home i ended up going :/ i am disappointment ,i think i am going for the companionship and the nonstop massages(NOT THE DIRTY KIND GAWD DAMNIT, THE ONE AROUND YOUR NECK AND SHOULDERS) ithese girls know me from frequently coming, and i made up some excuse to all the girls why i dont want lap dances , i told them i have RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME and i cant have them sit on my my lap /default_tongue.png lol also i dont get screwed for $20-30$ lap dances lol lmao, gotta play the system ..... i dont come in there for them to get naked or strip in front of me or give me lap dances, just a lonely surfer dude that wants to have a girl sit next to him and people watch everyone else that comes in :/ is that so bad?  /default_sad.png 

drank a long island ice tea and a margarita, im a pos

i used my emergency rent money for todays visit /default_sad.png , fk what the fk gawd damnit me 

 
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Have you came out a relationship recently coolguy?  Or are you looking? Get that chin up again, you have hit the nail on the head, you need some companionship!  What about mates, do you have any close friends?  

 
its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
I loved that song. As well as Rob Zombies Living Dead Girl and 

its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
I loved that song as well as Rob Zombie's living dead girl and The whisper song

 
im doomed i went all last week, now this girl is hitting me up for rides to work., i had to take some action, i am going into ghost mode, i cant get involved anymore , the more vulnerable i get the more information they know about me ..... i need a good stable normal smart decent working class girl, these girls after hearing all there problems , i thought i was fked up in the head....but gawd damn the shiznit i have heard.... whoa these girls unfortunately i wish there parents could of had the opportunities to raise there daughters right but on the other end some of these girls also came from good smart rich families, and i dunno they fked up on there path /default_sad.png

i cant let there depression fall on me, i went for the good time to help with my problems, in the end i got to know more of there problems and extortion and its just i fked up and well i guess i am just going to Longboard til some surf kicks in, 

 
Have you came out a relationship recently coolguy?  Or are you looking? Get that chin up again, you have hit the nail on the head, you need some companionship!  What about mates, do you have any close friends?  
​i stopped hanging out with them, all they do is sit on the couch and think about what to do, i cant have that pothead mentality, they sitting in the same position as if was 10years ago, they make me depressed to, i dont even want to chill with them, and i dont want any new friends or meet new friends cause i really honestly know allot of people , its like someone used to say to me " YOU BEEN ALL OVER THE STATE EVERY ONE KNOWS YOU" in a negative way lol but not of them are true friends these days, everyones to busy worried about there dirty laundry and being stingy :/

its just me, the surf, but with work, any my hobbies its so fkin hard to find a girl man, and i dont do that online dating shit, i suck at it to and its to much work involved, and being on the internet lol , aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but good looks on that thought friend, 
 

 
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its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
I loved that song. As well as Rob Zombies Living Dead Girl and 

its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
I loved that song as well as Rob Zombie's living dead girl and The whisper s
they play that there too, and also this one song that goes something like "DONT LIKE THE DRUGS BUT THE DRUGS LIKE ME" its been stuck me head:/ 



 
its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls
 
its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
I loved that song. As well as Rob Zombies Living Dead Girl and 

its so bad,

 i hear jeremiah "dont tell em" and  i think of the club, aaah its so boring its friday i can be there right now!!!, memorial weekend!!! 

theres even other songs on the radio i hear and boom i associate it with that place, but i need mUSICC !

than i feel like if i stop going i loose my status and i gotta start all over again /default_tongue.png :/ girls /default_sad.png 
I loved that song as well as Rob Zombie's living dead girl and The whisper s
they play that there too, and also this one song that goes something like "DONT LIKE THE DRUGS BUT THE DRUGS LIKE ME" its been stuck me head:/ 

Lol. marilyn manson

 
i havent gone back for the past 8days, thats a record for the 2month period average 3x a week :/ , i reward myself on my bday and go back in a couple months :/ 

 
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yay 14days i havent gone !! , i jst been surfing or trying to find surf or going home and catching up on t.v :/ but lately just trying to stay active after work and hit the gym, but not go all hard just whatever go with flow mode lol

 
Just the fact u dont want the lap dances and such, makes u such a good guy. You are def gonna find a smoking girl. 

.but!!

Never when ur looking

Always hits u like a brick to the dome.

Xoxo

Socio

 
I have a feeling that mrcoolguy is a real cutie.  Just sayin'.

you KNOW we love ya, right mcg? 

 
Hey, so recently the past 2 month's i have been frequenting the gentlemen's club, not only are there drink special's awesome but also the food is not that bad for a joint like a gentlemen's club. I think i am addicted, because i would spend at least more than before I would on anything else, and i would find new ways to get extra cash to  go to  the club , and i frequent the place 2x-3x a week. I stop caring about my identity thief, issue and all the bad stuff happening latley and work and have more liquor hang overs, I started drinking more these 2 past months than i would say in the past 5 years......

 , and some how i hit a depression where i don't want to eat right , work out on my downtime, stay active, but wait when the surf is right and go out for that or go to the gentlemen club's, odd part is i haven't been abusing my medication

I do not get lap dances, i dont want that its not my style, so now these girl's who know me from coming in , actually now sit with me and talk to me not to hustle me but just to chill and talk and maybe get a drink or whatever when its dead and bored and they figured the crowd is deadbeats and il be like psst il share my alcohol /default_smile.png , why not 2 for 1 specials... so anyway these girls they started inviting me out with them to do things... so now whole new world opened up to me, and its pretty dark and shady :/ and when you come out the light hurts your eyes , 

ahh whatever my randomness 
 

wow  i sound stupid 
 

O
i did not read any other response but in some way i can relate you your post especially this bit "

so anyway these girls they started inviting me out with them to do things... so now whole new world opened up to me, and its pretty dark and shady :/ and when you come out the light hurts your eyes , 

anyway, you may thought you sounded stupid when you wrote that post, but that line, my friend is fucking poetic. Brilliant description. I've been there, it will pass. A "problem" can never be resolved if not realized. and you should feel good about the realization part.

I put problem in quotes because, i think it all has to do with ones perception. yeah maybe some would say, possibly you that you shouldn't be hanging out in the stripper world. But there are far worse things you could be doing and a lot everyone of these girls I've ever encountered is just another human being like myself. Of course I am reflecting on times in my life from like almost 20 years ago, you're right its a dark world indeed, however, i personally was already in one of my own introduced to me by other forms of the entertainment industry. I'm sure that this post isn't very helpful, I do apologize, I only responded because I liked that line about the light hurting your eyes (I'm a song writer). If I could offer anything helpful, it would be...go easy on yourself, its good that you'r reflective enough to sit and make a thread about it. Maybe you just need someone to talk to, maybe a "professional" therapist but good luck finding one who actually has expeienced things in life rather than just studied about them, memorized them, then wrote thememerozied information out on a test to get thier degeree/ cert what ever.

One time I was t an AA meeting and thee was this speaker, some old farmer type dude in his mid 60s and the only thing I remember about what he said because it was wise and his choice od words were  kinda funny(too me anyway) was " to all you new folfs here, I'd just like to say, be careful who you take advice from around these places, cause you don't know if that person just had some heroin needle stuck in his neck 5 minute before he started talking to you"

whatever darkness you feel you're in, I'll be hoping you make it through to the other side

 
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thanks j.b , much appreciated. The dark and deceitful place it is, but thankfully i shook myself and did the moonwalk and stuck in the middle finger a few times in the mirror at myself, had some road rage lol, hung out with pot smoking friends, joked about it so that way they wont try to dis me and make me feel bad ,so instead i flipped it on them and dissed myself so that way they cant be smart-ass's and think OOOH THEY GOT SOME B.S ON ME, like i care lol  and brushed it off..... and made them feel stupid, while there searching bp for escorts lol so no one is perfect lol 

 
Hey dude. I'm just sitting here at 2 am winding down for the night and you popped into my mind so I'm just checking in on you. Even though I don't know you. Just checking in. 

Cat is probably right about your appearance  , probably one of the reasons these girls flock to you. Dont know if that makes you feel any better  but I used to be in a pretty regionally successful rock band and I remember this one time this girl was sitting next to me at some place in like Detroit  I was just hanging drinking,  and she kept asking if I wanted a dance,  I was like no thanks but I'll buy one for my buddy over there  ,who was our manager at the time  (and it was his money any way cause he was always filling our pockets with spending cash, I loved that guy) anyway she seemed offended. Was strange, but it's very tempting indeed when they take an interest in you. I could go on and on  ,but I was just thinking of you and saying hey.

Seems like you're doing a little better? 

Peace 

And go easy on yourself. 

JB 

Ps. I just remembered something that I heard a few years back when I was going through some really dark days, but it stuck with me, it was " without darkness,  there can be no light "

Idk,  take it for what you will. My initial reaction was probably along the lines of "yeah,  well f off, cause this sh1t is pretty dark "...lol but I have come to appreciate the wisdom within the phrase since those times. Growth and evolution is not always easy. 

 
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  1. xenxra @ xenxra: @WTF7218 it may as well be that way with how little effort some of the people on here make to find information that's exactly where you would expect it to be.
  2. ontovzik @ ontovzik: When I had long term shingles, lasting two months. All he could give me was a 10 day supply of dilaudid. He looked at the ground while we were talking about it. I could tell he was ashamed but it was the legislature and the governor that tied his hands. He was very upset that non-medical political people, the media, and the scared public were controlling how he treated his patients. Someday those people will need meds and a hospital bed and they will be gone.
  3. ontovzik @ ontovzik: I had a great doctor, he had the true gift of a healer and he stayed on top of all the science. He straight up told me that for many people opiods work for managing short and long term pain.
  4. ontovzik @ ontovzik: He peed it in the snow in my backyard.
  5. WTF7218 @ WTF7218: @xenxra 😆😂. Yes, but only a few brave souls will ever find the number. You must first order a Dirty Shirley from the bartender. Then you must discreetly take the cocktail napkin from under your drink and unfold it. There you will find the map to the location of the phone number, and clues to decipher the code that it is written in.
  6. xenxra @ xenxra: he left his phone number scribbled in a stall at the pub three blocks down
  7. N @ NYStateofMind: @Alkazar I would try one of those easy online ones .. reddit gives useful info about that
  8. Alkazar @ Alkazar: @NYStateofMind I dont really have a history of abusing things, my docotr is just really stingy. I am thinking of switching.
  9. C @ Cheesus: Thanks xenxra
  10. xenxra @ xenxra: @Cheesus yeah, use snote
  11. P @ psychedpsych: Trump is cracking down….
  12. P @ psychedpsych: Hackers are the scum of the earth
  13. N @ NYStateofMind: so it was easy bc of my history
  14. N @ NYStateofMind: I didnt really tell him but he knew I needed a new script since my dr went to jail
  15. N @ NYStateofMind: @xenxra I was on Adderall since 15 years ago so my dr prescribed that w no problems and then when I lost my best friend my doctor rxed the valiums but
  16. C @ Cheesus: Temp.pm down for anyone else?
  17. xenxra @ xenxra: @NYStateofMind my doctor's have always been pretty open minded if i can actually come in and explain the pharmacological action of the drugs im seeking instead of just telling them why i think i should be prescribed. the only time it didn't work out for me is when i was trying pharmaceuticals for depression ten years ago and suggested they let me try testosterone instead (turns out i was hypogonadal so they made a mistake denying my request at face value)
  18. T @ Testisthebest: Even down here in Florida when the pill mill docs all switched over to Suboxone and/or retired you can still find some pretty liberal docs but you gotta know what to look for. Mine does "pain management, detox, anxiety,etc. And no insurance. My doc writes me 60 5mg Valium, 14 2mg Xanax and asked if I had ever tried adderal to get more focus at work as I told him I run my own business.
  19. N @ NYStateofMind: @Alkazar do they know your history? Like I dont tell my doctor anything about myself except what they need to know,...I was able to get my dr to rx the highest dose of adderall along with valiums ..... if they dont know your history or there is no history I would just come out and ask what is the reason for their mistreatment.... they have no problem billing your insurance or taking a payment for the visit
  20. T @ Turbo259: @Layne_Cobain Thank you fam
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