Convincing a doc to script benzos?

[thatguy69]

Hey all,

I know that if you went and read my post history, you'd see that I fuck with all sorts of RC dissociatives and shit. However, I avidly assert that these are misguided attempts at self-medication because I feel like something is wrong all the time, cannot sit still, cannot sleep, and have extreme fear of failure (especially when it pertains to something simple as asking for someone for something to which they can say "no.")

I self-medicated with research benzos for years, and tbh those were the most comfortable years of my life. I wouldn't even call them a "good high," they just... make the bad feeling go away. I successfully Ashton Manual tapered myself off of the daily benzos without any medical supervision or even another individual holding me accountable; I do not have fundamental self control issues. My entire issue was that my problem was completely managed until I started to have to submit pre-employment drug tests after college, and would pop positive for benzos I didn't have a script for. I took it upon myself to manage my condition, and society basically told me "No. Not that way! We can't make any money off of you that way."

How is someone who has a "history of substance abuse" (not documented anywhere, I'd have to volunteer that info) supposed to convince a doc to write them a benzo script? I could lie (and I have no problem doing so), but I've essentially spent my entire life avoiding the American medical system because I believe it is corrupt to the core; I don't know what lie to tell.

Sourcing the benzos isn't even the issue. I have plenty. I just need for the benzo metabolites in my urine to be considered "government sanctioned." For both familial reasons (my family refuses to acknowledge that I have an actual problem unless I go get a diagnosis of some sort from a doctor), and because I will probably eventually be in another position to be drug tested for a job.

Anybody have any input, here?

 

[Jai239]

Just tell your PCP that you’re going on a flight and need a few- ask for minimum

 

[Gulp2788]

I think Jai has it right in the short term, I know these are researched mainly to provide relief against Anxiety and panic attacks, as far as long term help goes, I would encourage you to get off those zines and seek metaphysical help but that work is on you. Philosophy will free you and alternative health paths are available. You require help from the giants of psychology, Jung and Freud though at odds with each other will heal your soul sickness as if you were given succor from the staff of a witchdoctor. Inner peace is what you appear to seek, and Ch3m5 might help in the short term but you my friend are about to enter a journey for the sake of yourself. I would encourage you to take a drastic career shift if it is within the scope of your life's meaning. If you were thinking of taking on a lifestyle that intimidated you or felt out of your range of possibility until now, I would say now is the time to seize that moment.

 

[thatguy69]

I think Jai has it right in the short term, I know these are researched mainly to provide relief against Anxiety and panic attacks, as far as long term help goes, I would encourage you to get off those zines and seek metaphysical help but that work is on you. Philosophy will free you and alternative health paths are available. You require help from the giants of psychology, Jung and Freud though at odds with each other will heal your soul sickness as if you were given succor from the staff of a witchdoctor. Inner peace is what you appear to seek, and Ch3m5 might help in the short term but you my friend are about to enter a journey for the sake of yourself. I would encourage you to take a drastic career shift if it is within the scope of your life's meaning. If you were thinking of taking on a lifestyle that intimidated you or felt out of your range of possibility until now, I would say now is the time to seize that moment.

No. I need none of those things. I need a script for some benzos (It doesn't even matter which ones - I don't want to get high on them), and I will be a perfectly normal human being. I kicked the habit, lived my life clean for years, and all my problems just got worse. Might as just have the habit back; at least then I was comfortable.

I have a job, a house, pets, and a community that respects me. I'm not at rock bottom nor anywhere near it, and any and all recreational drug abuse stems from this desire to rid myself of the feeling of general malaise. My issue is that my dogmatic family and dogmatic society in general feel personally slighted by the fact that my "medication" doesn't come from a pharmacy where I've paid all sorts of taxes and fees just to get the same shitty quality control that I'd have gotten on the internet anyway.

I don't have a drug problem, nor any soul-sickness. Don't need to do any soul searching, and have already found inner peace. I am very happy with myself and where I am at in life. I have external turmoil; there are other individuals in my life that have taken it upon themselves to try to inject themselves in my choices. That is my entire issue.

I will not be going on any sort of journey of self-discovery. I've already done that. I spent years "finding myself" during college. I know myself, and I know what I need. You don't know me, and you are projecting either stereotypes or your own experience. Either way, cut it out. It is not useful in the slightest, and Freud can go fuck himself (I'm sure he'd like that too - the sick fuck).

Are you honestly recommending that I, a perfectly normal member society save for a bit of anxiety, take advice from a known sexual deviant? Why? Why would you EVER think that's good advice?

Listen to yourself. Listen to how ridiculous you sound. Why spell "chems" like Ch3m5? You think that helps hide DRUGBUYERSGUIDE from the internet crawlers? Also, no drug I've ever taken ends with "-zine."

You know nothing about the world. So, stop giving advice. I've been thinking about this problem for 15+ years and actively trying to solve it, you thought for 5 minutes, posted some BS about Jung and Freud, and called it day.

 

[Gulp2788]

An incredibly nasty reply however I suppose unsolicited advice begets unsolicited replies so I guess I deserved that. I apologize for offending you, it was not my intent. I hope you find the solutions to your problems on your own. I don't know how much of Freud you have read but the character of the philosopher doesn't speak to the quality of the philosophy, Plato was... disgusting to say the least and yet I would still think of his philosophy as good. That's all I will say further, I hope you are well good luck with your script.

 

[thatguy69]

An incredibly nasty reply however I suppose unsolicited advice begets unsolicited replies so I guess I deserved that. I apologize for offending you, it was not my intent. I hope you find the solutions to your problems on your own. I don't know how much of Freud you have read but the character of the philosopher doesn't speak to the quality of the philosophy, Plato was... disgusting to say the least and yet I would still think of his philosophy as good. That's all I will say further, I hope you are well good luck with your script.

I'm actually extremely sorry, and by the time I went and thought to delete it, I couldn't anymore. I really REALLY apologize.

Actually, I spoke to a psychiatrist today about this and I honestly told him "I'm usually the most kind and patient person, but I can get myself into a mode where I'm snappy and argumentative" and the worst part about me is that I'm extremely articulate, so when I decide to be mean, it can really hurt. I was in that mode today, and you happened to be the unlucky one to bare the brunt of it.

After listening to all of my problems, he did his best to recommend a first-line treatment: pramipexole (Mirapex) for RLS. I'm super happy that he is trying (and I told him "let me do some research on it, and I'll let you know!"), but there's no way in hell that I'm taking something that can cause liver failure and muscle wasting. Not when the literal extent of benzodiazepine/z-drug side effects are: memory problems, loss of coordination, sleepiness, and dependence.

Why in the world would anyone take any of those other drugs? They have side effect lists that are longer than most of our most dangerous "recreational drugs." And it's not like the doc could use "dependence" as an argument; Mirapex literally says 'Do not stop taking abruptly. May induce withdrawals.'

 

[Gulp2788]

NBD as I said it was unsolicited advice and you're right I was presuming too much about you, a stranger. Appreciate the apology and please accept mine in return. Yeah I get you about the side effects of the first suggestion. My doc wanted to prescribe me SSRI's for ADHD which I stalwartly refused as the last thing I want to be is forced to take something that we don't really understand how it works, works in a way that might be worse than the symptoms, and requires tapering if stopped due to the dependency it creates, not to mention the other side effects that often turn up. When we have something like amphs which have virtually none of the issues and all of the cure.

It is a problem in modern medicine, often doctors are scared to prescribe anything the agencies are claiming can be abused and are pushed by the companies that own them to use ones are more acceptable. This can cause serious harm imo but it is what it is. Maybe someday doctors will be able to use the proper protocols to cure problems again, it wasn't that long ago that they used to be able to do that. Gotta love corporate greed and government overreach.

 

[thatguy69]

Yup yup. But amphetamines are scary because they might actually make you feel good, without needing to circle back to the medical system to manage your ever-growing list of side effects.

 

[alixjones2018]

No. I need none of those things. I need a script for some benzos (It doesn't even matter which ones - I don't want to get high on them), and I will be a perfectly normal human being. I kicked the habit, lived my life clean

 

[Jai239]

Sorry I took you at your word when you claimed that you only needed a script for drug test purposes and not necessarily the pills to abuse..

 

[Ballerific]

No. I need none of those things. I need a script for some benzos (It doesn't even matter which ones - I don't want to get high on them), and I will be a perfectly normal human being. I kicked the habit, lived my life clean for years, and all my problems just got worse. Might as just have the habit back; at least then I was comfortable.

I have a job, a house, pets, and a community that respects me. I'm not at rock bottom nor anywhere near it, and any and all recreational drug abuse stems from this desire to rid myself of the feeling of general malaise. My issue is that my dogmatic family and dogmatic society in general feel personally slighted by the fact that my "medication" doesn't come from a pharmacy where I've paid all sorts of taxes and fees just to get the same shitty quality control that I'd have gotten on the internet anyway.

I don't have a drug problem, nor any soul-sickness. Don't need to do any soul searching, and have already found inner peace. I am very happy with myself and where I am at in life. I have external turmoil; there are other individuals in my life that have taken it upon themselves to try to inject themselves in my choices. That is my entire issue.

I will not be going on any sort of journey of self-discovery. I've already done that. I spent years "finding myself" during college. I know myself, and I know what I need. You don't know me, and you are projecting either stereotypes or your own experience. Either way, cut it out. It is not useful in the slightest, and Freud can go fuck himself (I'm sure he'd like that too - the sick fuck).

Are you honestly recommending that I, a perfectly normal member society save for a bit of anxiety, take advice from a known sexual deviant? Why? Why would you EVER think that's good advice?

Listen to yourself. Listen to how ridiculous you sound. Why spell "chems" like Ch3m5? You think that helps hide DRUGBUYERSGUIDE from the internet crawlers? Also, no drug I've ever taken ends with "-zine."

You know nothing about the world. So, stop giving advice. I've been thinking about this problem for 15+ years and actively trying to solve it, you thought for 5 minutes, posted some BS about Jung and Freud, and called it day.

Dang. Just curious are you a homeowner? My mortgage stresses me out. Maybe try going to a doctor and just go a few times until they have to prescribe it? Much cheaper

 

[thatguy69]

Dang. Just curious are you a homeowner? My mortgage stresses me out. Maybe try going to a doctor and just go a few times until they have to prescribe it? Much cheaper

I absolutely am. I don't have a mortgage, though (lucky situation, I guess, if you'd call a death in the family that).

I think my GP would not be opposed to scripting me a small amount of low dose benzos. Unrelated to the GP, I fucked some stuff recently with my dissociative abuse (O-PCP feels innocuous like ketamine, but it seems to really warp perception with regular dosing), so for my family I have to go through the motions of "getting better" that way, anyway. I learned my lesson, and since I've killed my last of my FXiPr, I will not be buying more (even though that one was pretty gentle, it was expensive for what I got out of it).

I was just self medicating with those, because the "voices of reason" in my life told me "benzos are bad." They might be, but they're certainly much less evil than the 'alternatives' I began experimenting with.

 

[benzenering]

I have to agree on the government overreach and the greed doing harm to people.

I have been on a different, uncontrolled med that a doctor tried c.t.’ing me off of, and I only lasted 8 days. It was hell, and indescribable pain and a blackout fever. I felt better 2 hours after my specialist told me how many mg of it to take, as if the agony never happened. So being on that medicine for many years, before my next specialist gradually tapered me off and once the test came back clear, finally off the stuff, I can accept the fact that benzos (and probably z drugs) cause dependence.
I only wish that tolerance wasn’t part of it. It wasn’t with the aforementioned pills for a big health problem.

I have tapered off benzos too, a few times, but this time it was only because I was running low on them. But life has thrown so much negative complicated stuff my way in the past nearly 6 years, since those covid restrictions started and messed with our way of living as we knew it. So I really tried, wrongly thinking that eating adult candy would be a nice escape, a better perspective, really a cope. The last few times, from the same bag, they didn’t seem to work. It was usually once a week. I then meditated like crazy, but it wasn’t enough, even though I tapered very slowly and carefully. It was so hard to cope with even the slightest things. I finally got some more pills, but not enough to feel relaxed about my supply. I ordered some more, and will try a few others. I can finally think more clearly and not like I’m w/d. Amazing what the small dose is helping with. In previous tapers, the timing was right, and life was not difficult. I just have to accept that for now, I need to be back on the benzo train and to be mindful of the cbt techniques as well. I finally got some scary dental opinions straightened out, and I’m mad that the first two dentists had me thinking the worst. I didn’t like the third dentist’s office, but I’m glad he found nothing wrong at all. But the nervous system takes time to catch up to good news.

 

[Ballerific]

Try getting on something weak af like that one with a P or gabapentin and over time keep tellkjg her the medications are failing and there has to be another soluttion even if for short term 2-3 months to get straihtened out?

 

[Testisthebest]

I know a doc in south FL that treats anxiety and listens. If you cant find one like that. Say you under exteme stress from work, and have tried other meds like buspar, prosac, gabapentin and nothing works and you get side effects.

 

[benzenering]

I’m fed up with doctors pushing the Gabapentin so hard. First time I heard someone on it, she was an elder and she was singing its praises, and I could tell she was craving it. Of course, I understand the doctors saying it’s for seizure prevention, especially if the benzos are out, but I doubt it could be a good universal anxiolytic. I like to read reviews on ask a patient dot com.

 

[Terrylolol]

Try getting on something weak af like that one with a P or gabapentin and over time keep tellkjg her the medications are failing and there has to be another soluttion even if for short term 2-3 months to get straihtened out?

pr3gabal1n? that stuff is strong af. while i will say my dose was high, i got addicted to 300mg a day at a point, and the withdrawals were soul crushing, just agonizing, and you can find people corroborating that all over the internet. imo that stuff was way more addictive than benzos and i’ve been addicted to br0maz01am/c10naz01am/f1ubr0maz3pam. it gave me intense adderall-like euphoria with the warm disinhibition of alcohol/ghb.

 

[Dikilala]

pr3gabal1n? that stuff is strong af. while i will say my dose was high, i got addicted to 300mg a day at a point, and the withdrawals were soul crushing, just agonizing, and you can find people corroborating that all over the internet. imo that stuff was way more addictive than benzos and i’ve been addicted to br0maz01am/c10naz01am/f1ubr0maz3pam. it gave me intense adderall-like euphoria with the warm disinhibition of alcohol/ghb.

I'm prescribed 2700mg gaba a day for bnz0 tapering (900mg 3 times a day). I don't even take that much but i noticed i feel really good when i'm on it taking 600mg at once, i feel high. I'm also on krt0m too so maybe it potentiates it. I've been on it for a month now and try not to take it everyday because of the gaba horror stories i read about. But now I've been taking it every other day, sometimes 2-3 days in a row from 600mg up to 1200mg a day. I can't help myself, it feels great. I noticed on the days I don't take it I feel like shit and I'm really anxious and have a hard time. I'm hoping it is not gaba withdrawals and my body is not dependent on it now. I crave it now. It really does help with bnz0 withdrawals but I can see how it can be abused, it feels great. I feel like they're just switching one drug for another. The doc even said I will have to taper off of gaba one day too. I told her me and my family's concerns about the meds she wants me to take but she rolled her eyes and said "I'm a doctor". She is weaning me off a little too fast also. In my situation it is probably impossible to find a doctor that tapers correctly and does ashton manual tapering without all of the extra meds. Im prescribed 4 other medications, which I'd have to wean off of also according to my doctor. I need to stop taking gaba.