Finally admitted I have a problem

  • Thread starter Thread starter Solid Snoop
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@Def_Starr I will pm you but hell I the same I was a straight up heroin addict and looked down on crack or coke users. Never messed with it until I hit a bump in my marriage. So I learned a lot about myself, never say never. I turned into a crackhead but when I got through 3 months my life got better and better and I actually had self confidence again that I've always lacked and it just kept getting better and better now the thought of ever going back is like a memory but I know I'm one more pill away from a relapse so I take it seriously after my hernia operation I was clean for a year from my weed bust I thought I had it made but I took those stupid pills that I didn't need I could have used ibuprofen and it put me in months of hell. I was up in vip and I am so embarrassed looking at my older posts all whacked out I sounded crazy it's been a great year every freaking day I have gratitude. Please remember just stick to it and the rewards are so wonderful I'm crying now compared to where I was a year ago. I know you well and I'm close by now I'll pm you where. I'd love to see you. Please stick it out you'll be amazed how much life is bettering and beautiful even during bad times! Love ya! I will always be here if you need someone to talk to!

 
came back from my physical, EKG came out fine heart is good, blood work good, this gives me another reason to stop I DODGED A BULLET this time, but the next time it can definitely effect my health.... 

thanks all DBG members and @Heavenlee or support

 
hey just wondering how everyone did over the holidays. .. im kind of borderline, do i really want to quit? just kind of had to get my feelings out there and vent to a community that i can be 100 honest with. 

quick summary. been on opiates 2 years now, minus a 6 week period clean. started out first 6 months had oxy 40 mg a day or 180 mg dhc if no oxy. kept it pretty low for the first year but this past year its like when i do have oxy i won't even feel good just doing 40. i got completely off a couple months ago and was using kratom daily. a month probably. when i scored again i was like ok my tolerance will be low it will be easier to keep it low or moderate this time. 2nd day i had em i was right at 80 and even had to tell myself stop thats too much in one day dont do more then 80... 

i had a friend tell me im right at a point of getting deeper into it. he doesn't see me as much. not as sociable as i was... he said he believes im on a threshold of being deep into it and having it really change my brain chemistry. 

im kind of rambling but i just wondered, when will my tolerance go down? and even reducing kratom dosage will that continually keep my tolerance high?

what do you do to stop yourself from using all your stuff? and stick to your daily allowance. lol any reminders or tricks ? catchphrases? LOL 

 
FlyingSquirrel said:
Some really good advice here. Cheers to everyone trying to cut, wean, get off from benzo's. I was prescribed these from my Dr. for sleep problems for almost 12 years. Long story short, my house burned down and at the hospital for smoke inhalation, I asked for a stronger dosage of pain meds and my neighbor who had come to support me reported to the doc that I had a problem with PM's. They threw me in the pysch lock up and the next thing I know I am in court mandated rehab. They did not wean me off the atiVa*s and I started to hallucinate every night. Hearing and seeing people in my room - scary shit!! They did put me on trazadone for sleep and that has been a god send. Works really well along with the muscle relaxer tizanidine - a good sedating one that I only take at night. If anyone needs a good muscle R, I highly recommend it. I can only take it at night because it really zonks me out. Plus, it helps to prevent my serious muscle spasms that cause my migraines. Been having one of those for over a week. Damn, I sure do wish I could moderate my intake of the opie's that help with those, but I just struggle SO hard to keep my hands off that bottle. The main reason that I luv those things is that they give me the most energy. I could clean the bathroom with a toothbrush! I have struggled with these things for over 10 yrs. - ever since I found em while in treatment for almost stage 4 cancer. Been cancer free for 10 years, but not free from wanting the damn things... I believe that if I could get a few months off and go to the rooms, I could have a fighting chance.

I managed to make it to a meeting last night. I thought I was going to a chemically dependent one, but turned out to be aa. I really needed to talk to someone. Met a few nice people. If I would make a better commitment to myself, I would go more often. I really like the people I met at one of the groups. I just have to make myself get in the car and drive there. It is not rocket science, you just have to make it a priority... sorry I am rambling. I have alot of respect for folks who try to help themselves. Everyone in this thread is very brave!

Thanks for letting me get some shit off my chest. FS
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Congrats for getting help and bettering your situation. Ive been looking for tizanidine myself as i have back pain and it helps me sleep
 
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  12. L @ Layne_Cobain: 1914 I meant
  13. L @ Layne_Cobain: I often wish I lived during the turn of the century or at least before the Harrison narcotics act or whatever I think it was 1924 the fun ended but anyway yeh being able to get laudanum, ❄️ and amphetamine at the local friendly pharmacy
  14. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Chew on the leaves with a bit of slaked lime and enjoy the mild boost you get from the raw base.
  15. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I’m sure you know the folks in the mountainous regions along South Americas pacific side buy cócà leaves at the local farmers market just to help acclimate to the higher elevation when they have to head up into the hills.
  16. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I would certainly have bought it, swilled it, enjoyed it…. Why not? A little boost in your juice isn’t going to hurt anyone.
  17. R @ Royboy99: Exports were reported to have around 7.2mg per FL OZ, it’s success is what actually led to Coca Cola
  18. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Having cramps and husband thinks you’re acting hysterical (ie. PMS) the doc would either perform a certain massage to relieve the strains of motherhood and family life of that time or send you down to the local apothecary for a bottle of laudanum… A tincture of alcohol and 10% òpìųm. Fun days huh?
  19. R @ Royboy99: @malestrom: yeah thats it, my bad Mariani, yeah i considered that and also its ROA, which was oral so the bioavailability was lower than insufflation, higher degree of purity tho and longer duration … there was a significant marked increase of patents filed by Edison during the time it was released in the US. Presidents were known to use it as well, and the Queen. The pope awarded the wine the Vatican gold medal award
  20. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I think it was called vin Mariani. But yeah, it was all the rave back in the turn to the 20th century. Original formula Coca Cola did it for a while too. I think it was pretty weak though. Something like 200 mg per liter of wine. Enough to maybe give you a little push but unless you could pound some serious alcohol, it’d be hard to really feel the effects before the ethyl knocked you down on the ground. It was an interesting time period. Laudanum was a “hysterical” woman’s best friend.
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