Men, Dating And Sex?

[yellowbelly]

I have always been pretty conservative as far as the big move goes. However, i was in bed with my Otter the day after we met. It was ummmm...necessary or i thought i may die. Some CRAZY chemistry there. I have never EVER been a believer of love at first sight. EVER! Well it happened to me. Obvi now i am a believer. I thought i had really screwed up, he was gonna think i was a ho...yadda

Yadda. Almost two years later, we are STUPID in love.....it is embarrassing! Lol! This is the guy Mom told me would be out there! He was worth the wait! Now, even though i have never wanted children, i want to have hundreds of babies with this man. At my age that is a slight chance naturally. We gonna try for a bit anyway. Pretty soon. Just my lil story.

A Cat in bed with an Otter...That's a scary visual! /default_tongue.png

 

[2earls]

I think that's exactly it, @Roger. You haven't met the right one. I was kind of kidding about being a ho. I really didn't date that much, was mostly in long term relationships.

Maybe I was more of an impatient dater. If I wasn't all hot for the guy myself, I wouldn't be looking for 3rd or 4th dates.

I would never go to someone's house on a first date! Yikes, how dangerous might that be? I never on-line dated, it sounds rough to me. I like HB'S suggestions earlier in the thread. I think the success factor goes up a lot if you meet face to face.

If a guy wants to score and they can't even make a pretense of romance, then they are way too lazy. (How do you feel about a BJ/HJ?). Ewwww, that's how I feel.

Good luck to you single ladies. It sounds mighty rough out there. Just keep an open mind and stand your ground!

 

[Roger]

Online dating is BRUTAL! I had to stop.

 

[TealGreen]

Online dating gets old after awhile but since I don't go to bars or clubs often, meeting guys is rare. I date very very little because of the hassle of it all.

I have definitely accepted men for who they are. And ultimately I know I'm in charge of where I want it to go. It doesn't even bug me that men ALWAYS want sex no matter if they want things to go anywhere or not. I like to think my instincts are good when it comes to knowing and I make a decision from there. I'll admit that I have been okay with no strings attached situations in the past. Women have needs too!


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[Guest]

A Cat in bed with an Otter...That's a scary visual! /default_tongue.png

Lol! Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh!

Where I was actually going with my post befor being distracted by my own ADD was that I have been "dumped" before for not putting out. I made the mistake of doing that previously and I felt awful about it. Although i was really young when this happened I have never forgotten how worthless I would feel finding out t hat dude was not interested in seeing me again..or if he was, it was a booty call. Of course I have grown and matured and found my security since then and found my own voice as a woman. But I will never EVER forget how much it hurt to be used for sex. Thats why I was so afraid after doing the deed with the Otter so quickly. I guess I got lucky, but it could just as easily have gone the other way. I should have trusted myself to know the real thing. But those memories came slammimg back into my head from so long ago. I am so proud of you guys knowing yourselves so well and knowing what you want. Since the party that was my twenties, I have not dated around much. I was always busy working and if someone was willing to really pursue me....i would conside it. I have been married twice and I regret the first one cuz it was hell. My second one I will never ever regret.....he is still my best buddy and I love him to death as a friend. But I married my friend and he his. Not an ideal marriage.

Anyway, do grown men really ask for blow/hand jobs on the second date? That is disgusting. WHERE IS THE ROMANCE? The flowers, the dates, the anticipation, the long all night talks, the make-out sessions? With NO sex and your clothes on? What happened to doing it the RIGHT way? that is so disappointing. God, if you are not willing to put in the effort, go jerk off. Better yet put your dick in the freezer and keep it on ice until you learn some manners. Thats what makes a REAL man. Plus, wouldnt you wonder about a woman who slept with you right away? (I KNOW i did it....but) i KNOW good guys are out there amongst all of the pigs. Where are you supposed to meet them? I guess a lot of women want to know. I would love to see guys like.....write down a list of topics amd memorize it to keep conversation interesting. Plan fun, active and interesting things to do. PUT IN SOME EFFORT. You know it will be rewarded eventually? Have men become "entitled" just like today's teens and young adults? That is so sad. I have a single guy friend that would make a great catch! He is educated, funny, really sweet and quite good looking but he is SO shy....he cant get past the first date. I think he bombs the convo. I also think he is really picky. We have "rehearsed" dates together and I have helped him plan things. I have even a cused him of being secretly gay and encouraged him to come out if need be. He wants someone to share his life with so badly, maybe that is coming across. I swear, i am going to make him somehow record a date so I can critique him. He wants to know where all of the good women are. We need to find this out...where are the good women and men.

 

[headbanger]

HB should be a therapist...He's got the right answers for everything! /default_wink.png

I've seen enough therapist to be one.

I'll be posting my office hours later.

 

[Roger]

PM me if you find where they are hiding.

 

[trevor]

Cat, I think marrying your best friend is the absolute best foundation for a happy everlasting marriage. Think about it y'all can talk about anything bad, good, regrets, and console build each other up. Just my opinion.

 

[TealGreen]

Yes Cat, there are some men with no shame in their game that do request BJ/HJ's on the first date. Personally that turns me off big time and I will walk away never speaking to them again. That's just blatant disrespect and who's got time for that!

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[TealGreen]

A best friend is a requirement for any relationship that I have. 😏

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[Guest]

Even if you are not attracted to each other "that" way? Never did the deed cuz it felt like your brother? Not for me. That is not a marriage. It was one of those, well if you dont get married by such and such a time, marry me! We were friends for ten years before we even dated. I think we both wanted it to work out so badly. We were both selling ourselves short. Believe me we tried. We even had ourselves convinced that sex is not necessary. But it is. I will never regret it though. we leaned on each other for many many years. And we had fun. And it was peaceful. We protected each other, even through him losing his eyesight and my benzo addiction. Throughout the death of my family. Through his Moms strokes. Through all kinds of stuff. I financially supported him when he could not work any more and during more than ten eye surgeries. We took care of each other. Ending that marriage was the HARDEST thing I ever had to do. Evenharder than quitting tramp. I hated hurting him, but now we both know it was the right thing to do. I was the one with the bigger cojones.

 

[TealGreen]

Even if you are not attracted to each other? And found yourself really horny and lusting after random guys/girls? And never ever had sex? I dont think so.

Oh it most definitely is not the only requirement. It's just pretty important to me. But the chemistry MUST be there. It just doesn't work if it's not. I'm pretty adamant about those two requirements. I'm perfectly fine alone and won't waste my time otherwise.

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[trevor]

Even if you are not attracted to each other "that" way? Never did the deed cuz it felt like your brother? Not for me. That is not a marriage. It was one of those, well if you dont get married by such and such a time, marry me! We were friends for ten years before we even dated. I think we both wanted it to work out so badly. We were both selling ourselves short. Believe me we tried. We even had ourselves convinced that sex is not necessary. But it is. I will never regret it though. we leaned on each other for many many years. And we had fun. And it was peaceful. We protected each other, even through him losing his eyesight and my benzo addiction. Throughout the death of my family. Through his Moms strokes. Through all kinds of stuff. I financially supported him when he could not work any more and during more than ten eye surgeries. We took care of each other. Ending that marriage was the HARDEST thing I ever had to do. Evenharder than quitting tramp. I hated hurting him, but now we both know it was the right thing to do. I was the one with the bigger cojones.

My heart goes out to both of you and your families, I am sending many prays your way.sad face.

 

[Guest]

My heart goes out to both of you and your families, I am sending many prays your way.sad face.

Trevor! How sweet! Thank you!

There is a happy ending tho! My ex is engaged to the cutest lil thing who thrives on taking care of him. She is better for him than

I. She has a huge family who helps him when she is at work. I am with a great guy who has five kids and a huge family as well. So.....from family-less hermit best friends to thriving active people with huge families...that is where we both are. And, after some convincing of his fiancee, he and I are still great friends. I miss living with him terribly but our lives are so much more full now. AND seriously i just found moments ago that his previously detached retina, which was reattached last April, is starting to function again and he is seeing flashes of light in what was once a totally blind eye! Hooray! It takes a long time to heal but this is a huge deal! So you see.....no sad face necessary. So.....there it is.

 

[TealGreen]

Trevor! How sweet! Thank you!

There is a happy ending tho! My ex is engaged to the cutest lil thing who thrives on taking care of him. She is better for him than

I. She has a huge family who helps him when she is at work. I am with a great guy who has five kids and a huge family as well. So.....from family-less hermit best friends to thriving active people with huge families...that is where we both are. And, after some convincing of his fiancee, he and I are still great friends. I miss living with him terribly but our lives are so much more full now. AND seriously i just found moments ago that his previously detached retina, which was reattached last April, is starting to function again and he is seeing flashes of light in what was once a totally blind eye! Hooray! It takes a long time to heal but this is a huge deal! So you see.....no sad face necessary. So.....there it is.

This type of thing happening is what makes me really believe that everything happens for a reason. One door closes so that a better door can open. Okay enough with the cliches but I am so happy it all worked out for both of you! It made me smile!

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[Guest]

This type of thing happening is what makes me really believe that everything happens for a reason. One door closes so that a better door can open. Okay enough with the cliches but I am so happy it all worked out for both of you! It made me smile!

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Tx BG. Glad to make u smile! Makes me smile too! Xoxo

 

[buyer2015]

I don't want to get into a lengthy post about my personal beliefs but I do want to say that what is being said goes both ways. Just as there are men that want sex on the on the 2nd or 3rd date, there are also women that are the exact same way. I know this because I am a man that does not want sex on the 2nd or 3rd date and have dated women that did. As a matter of fact, with me,  it will probably be a while before that happens, because I see it as a very intimate thing and if you aren't prepared for what the consequences could be(getting pregnant) and that you should stay together if those consequences happen, then you shouldn't be doing it.

On the other side of this, there are women that are exactly as the OP described and are just like the men she described. I have dated women that I started to like and am certain that they broke things off and the sole reason was that I wasn't making a move toward them to have sex and that is what they wanted.

Now I'm not saying that this is a 50/50 thing where there are just as many women like this as men, but it certainly isn't just men that want nothing but sex. There may be more men that expect it and will try to force it, but that because they are men with testosterone that are in a way designed to do it and the are physically capable of it because of size.

One thing I think it wrong and hurts me as a man is for women to say that all men are like this because it makes the ones that aren't and are good, look bad, me being one of them.

I would quickly like to point out that I am NOT religious in any way so none of these feelings or thoughts are because of that. I just happen to be some of the few men that actually respect women and don't think of them as objects.

I would also like to comment on the online dating thing and how people think it is different and there are more freaks there. When you go to a bar or similar place, how do you know the people there are not the same way? Are you going to tell me that you can tell just by looking at them. Are you going to say that people in bars don't lie and will say anything just to get you to go home with them. I don't disagree that people can misrepresent themselves online but the only real way they can is with a picture. Words can be lies whether online or in person, so to automatically assume all people on dating sites are "fakes" is just an excuse to have because you haven't had better success then you have when meeting in person. I mean is your success rate 90% in person and only 10% online.

Maybe its because I am a guy but I can say that I have met met more nice people online then I have in person, especially when it comes to the ones that want to have sex right away but maybe its also because of the sites I go to. If you go to something like adultfriendfinder.com and are looking fro a husband, well then maybe you are going to the wrong place. LOL

 

[TealGreen]

Thought you didn't want to get into a lengthy post? 😜

I think it's gone unsaid that of course not all men are just out for one thing or that there are plenty of women that are just as bad. I'm well aware of that as I'm sure everyone else in this thread is. One of my best friends, whom is female, is definitely a HO in my book. I love her just the same. I really don't like labels and I do believe everyone should be able to live their life how they choose. I give every individual I meet the benefit of the doubt in the beginning as they deserve.

This thread is just about the struggles of dating and how men and women have a hard time getting on the same page. And the reasons for it. Nobody is trying to hurt your feelings nor are they saying every man is a pig and every woman is an angel. So c'mon, don't make this about you.

No crying in this thread. LOL, you know I'm just busting your balls right?



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[deperson]

Thought you didn't want to get into a lengthy post? I think it's gone unsaid that of course not all men are just out for one thing or that there are plenty of women that are just as bad. I'm well aware of that as I'm sure everyone else in this thread is. One of my best friends, whom is female, is definitely a HO in my book. I love her just the same. I really don't like labels and I do believe everyone should be able to live their life how they choose. I give every individual I meet the benefit of the doubt in the beginning as they deserve. This thread is just about the struggles of dating and how men and women have a hard time getting on the same page. And the reasons for it. Nobody is trying to hurt your feelings nor are they saying every man is a pig and every woman is an angel. So c'mon, don't make this about you. No crying in this thread. LOL, you know I'm just busting your balls right? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You women might not be saying that all men are pigs, but you're still saying that some of us are. Well, I'll have you know that I'm grossly offended by that allegation. I mean, come on, what the fuck did a pig ever do to you?

 

[TealGreen]

You women might not be saying that all men are pigs, but you're still saying that some of us are. Well, I'll have you know that I'm grossly offended by that allegation. I mean, come on, what the fuck did a pig ever do to you?

LOL, you crack me up. You are soooo right! Pigs are nothing like hormone driven men (or women for that matter). I wonder why pigs get such a bad rap. So what's your suggestion on a new nickname?

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