For what it's worth, those of you who are shy, socially averse or labelled with a psychiatric condition - these things don't define you unless you let them define you. Shyness, for example, is simply another way of being introspective and probably much more emotionally intelligent than an extreme extrovert. Being shy doesn't mean you lack humor, kindness or great devotion - it just means you need more time to recharge after social/external situations. It also means you're processing more information about people around you, ensuring consistency in their actions before giving away your trust - or a slice of it.
I'm not an introvert or an extrovert - I truly fall right in the middle. But if I had to choose between which "type" to date - I'd go for the introvert over the extrovert any day!!! So please, don't think of shyness as a social deficit - there are a lot of people in this world who value that very quality.
And mental/psychological labeling - God!!! By labeling, I don't mean the condition doesn't exist, I do believe people are bi-polar or have personality disorders that run the gamut. I'm undergoing a psychiatric evaluation right now (a bullshit action by my former spouse) to test whether I'm a harm to myself, my own children and impulse control! My 7-year old just completed a psychiatric evaluation (not my decision) to test for Aspergers (because she has exhibited anxiety throughout a very long, contentious divorce in which the father was awarded custody and she wants to be with her mother - me!). That's a whole other story on a whole different thread - but my point is it's important not to let psychiatric evaluations define us. Just because I'm going through an extremely stressful time, doesn't make me crazy or unstable! And it doesn't mean a 7-year old suddenly develops high functioning autism. It just means we're fucking stressed and all types of coping mechanisms or responses are being triggered - like anxiety, anger or depression, etc.
I guess my long winded point is be confident in yourself. Next time you feel uncomfortable around someone, just smile and say, "I'm a bit shy so I'm not sure what to say." They'll understand - and it makes you sound more confident admitting your shyness than trying to stammer out a response that doesn't suit you. As far as personality disorders, if someone asks you a question and you don't feel like responding, just tell them, "Sorry, I couldn't hear you over all the voices in my head."
LOL!!!
Hang in there!
Bloom
Hey Bloom,
You've raised some great points here. Over the years, I've had so many "labels" put on me I didn't know what the hell to believe. All I knew (and know) is I was/am 'different' to others. I wanted to be 'normal' (what ever the heck that is) & craved acceptance. I believe as a child I was deprived of love from my father - he decided to completely ignore me from the age of 9 upwards. He didn't like the fact I was changing into a woman and would tell me things like "stop growing" etc.
It was like living with a cold hearted stranger, his resentment of me was palpable.
To cope I started drinking heavily at the age of thirteen, smoking and rebelling at school, being promiscuous etc. To say I loathed myself was an understatement, so I withdrew from society, became scared of expressing myself for fear of being laughed at and judged.
My mother took me to see a psychologist for the first time when I was 14, by which time I was self harming daily to cope with my emotions. Since then, over the last 20 years, I've been labelled with more "personality disorders" than you could shake a stick at! , Narcissistic pd, Body dysmorphia, Bi polar, and finally 2 years ago, Borderline PD with schizoid traits.
I do feel that the nail has finally been hit on the head, but its still a lot to take in and of course, when it comes to relationships, I can see why some ppl would want to run for the hills. But I can't change who I am, I can be hypersensitive, paranoid, secretive and overly suspicious. I'm also so set in my ways now, I worry I'll be on the shelf forever!
Still, I believe their is someone out there for me, there's just no sign of him yet lol Anyway Bloom, sorry for the novel, and thanks again for the kind words, it means a lot to me.
