WARNING: THIS WILL BE LONG AND UNESSECARY - Thanks for the replies man, I truly appreciate you trying to help. My sponsorship subscription just ended last week. I usually have had it every year for around 6 years. I just have no cryptocurrency currently (It's extremely hard for me to get now as opposed to most peoples easy access to purchasing online from the most common places. I am completely Anti-KYC now, and that kills the convenience I had for years from websites like/similar to Coinbase. I used to be able to just click buy and get $1000's worth..... ah the good ole days.
I've been taking kratom since 2016. Honestly I don't usually tell people online but I am immune to the recreational/euphoric/warm on a cloud effects of ALL opiates/opioids. I felt them the first and second time I took them a decade and half ago. Than never again. Even the strongest horse directly pushed into my blood flow without a tolerance just makes me feel sleepy and warm. No pleasure/opioid wacloud warmth/comfort or euphoria. Regardless they are the best anti-depressants/anxiolytics (as someone who has been on all SSRI's/SNRI's each med of all of them 4 times, all TCA's, anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers and the two uncommonly prescribed MAOI's) They also make me more empathetic, compassionate, and motivated to actually communicate and talk with anyone and want to help people in general in a positive moral sense. Getting over never being able to feel the "typical" opiate/oid effect with the memory of what it actually is and feels like from those 15 years ago is extremely difficult and really impossible to not think about. I keep taking the kratom because I don't want to give up just having something to do in the day. Similar to smoking or having something to look forward to doing. Also because the effects are blocked I have to take massive doses of opioids (example: I will go through multiple OC 80's in hours with NO tolerance if given the chance.) Although biologically my body is not immune to nodding and passing out from these high doses without a tolerance. I seem to get extremely frustrated, depressed, and pissed that I can never feel anything and just keep taking them. Point of me saying that is as you can imagine kratom has no effect no matter the dose (like I said I just take it because a habit gives me something to look forward to ingesting during the day) This is why I would need PST over this. Although everything is blocked at least the desire increase/motivation increase is there. That makes everything to me. I usually quit, go back on, quit etc but I need something to look forward to taking that is readily available. Although kratom has no anti-depressant/anxiolytic effect at all for me. Also has no effect on my empathy/compassion/desire and motivation to help people out or do something with it. It's important to note these "immune" effects have nothing to do with tolerance as I sometimes go years and years and years without using anything just to test this life experiment and the results are always the same. Others such as stims, seem to do the same thing more frequently now from time to time where I am immune from any euphoria and pleasure.
My hypothesis to this is that as a child I had all the common mental health meds shoved down my throat in very short periods of time along with their side effects when the next meds added to the previous. (these meds take 1 month at least to start working) Around 1 week, than on to another med while coming off the previous while it mixes with the new. This would repeat in all these hospitals for years as an adolescent. I believe this might have damaged my brain. I was hoping a 1 month round of cerebrolysin might reset all this but that's just speculation as there is no evidence for that which I want to achieve with it.