Quitting Stims And Benzos. Where To Get That Motivation Thing?

[Qwikster]

i am in the same position, i do not want to quit since i am also legally prescribed but like to order and have some extra on hand for the days i need a little more motivation to deal with the lazy and stupid people in daily society, when i first started x@n@x 8yrs ago, my first year was bad i would take anywhere from 2mg- 8mg a day and i was buying it from friends and having it prescribed, after that i realized i had a problem and decided to tapper down

i read allot of forums about tappering/ and withdrawals from xanax, so what i did was tapper slow to a comfortable dose and than stayed there for a few months, dropped it again stayed for a few months, now i can take .5mg to 2mg a day and the days i dont work i can get away with .5 to 1mg without withdrawing or craving.

what helps me with my tolerance, is WATER! DRINK THAT !, EXERCISE ! GO DO THAT !, NO ALCOHOL ! THAT MAKES IT HARD TO STOP , 

oh and what works to is when you have a good diet,exercise, mind set is to try to stretch out your dose as long as possible so your body is fighting off the tolerance, so if your used to taking .5mg every 6hrs wait maybe 8hrs -10hrs  til it gets bad and take it , and than repeat until you can space out 15-24hrs since last dose

breaking through that barrier of half life is difficult, once you can control your withdrawals and cravings you can space the xanax out longer from last dose to keep tolerance low or if you go cold turkey you wont suffer as much

my word to you, amen

Worst thing I had to do was get off Benzos. I was up to 15mg a day for over a year at the time. The local detox I frequented over the years was happy to see me again, and put me on a 15 day taper. Horrible time that wouldn't go away in a few days like alcohol or other drugs. After going home the craving, sweats, and squirming were still in force. Drinking some alcohol periodically helped for the obvious reasons. Still took me another month or so to be done with the ordeal. From readings I have seen the residual withdrawals from Benzos can last months for some people. Like the bright party goers we are sometimes I still dabble, but not like before. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. Period!

 

[Roger]

Worst thing I had to do was get off Benzos. I was up to 15mg a day for over a year at the time. The local detox I frequented over the years was happy to see me again, and put me on a 15 day taper. Horrible time that wouldn't go away in a few days like alcohol or other drugs. After going home the craving, sweats, and squirming were still in force. Drinking some alcohol periodically helped for the obvious reasons. Still took me another month or so to be done with the ordeal. From readings I have seen the residual withdrawals from Benzos can last months for some people. Like the bright party goers we are sometimes I still dabble, but not like before. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. Period!

Amen and well said!

Word to the wise: if you are not already physically dependent try to keep it that way. If you are, do your best to s l o w taper.

I too went to rehab for a one week taper off of a mega multi year habit. I suppose it was the only way as I "tried" many times by myself. Failed every time.

I started benzos like most every one else.... I had very real anxiety. I am convinced this rapid cessation did more harm than good but it is what it is. I am 2.5 yrs off benzos and would consider using one for sleep every now and then at this point. I would never take one daily again.

Thankfully I have more chronic anxiety vs panic attacks so I don't really need benzos all of the time now. Kratom and life style does the job for me.

It is a shame that doctors won't help with a long term taper. It is hard but worth it if one is getting diminishing returns on your dose. I was. Didn't matter how much I took at the end....the anxiety came roaring back twice as bad after a few hours.

Necessary evil for some but I'm glad to be off that train.

 

[Revenger]

Wow deperson your story has cheered me up a little. Good on you, don't look back /default_smile.png

I dunno about eating well and keeping up with the house work and exercise etc. obv can't do any harm, but I do all those things (out of necessity - have three kids and lovely husband) and I'm in a worse place than ever. Knowing I have to do it all again next day makes the insomnia worse.

I dread the days as much as the nights now.

Agree roger you're fab. V eloquent like e2 said.

Pretty impressed by you too deperson - with the variety of meds you were taking and still totally articulate. I'm struggling to type/think/concentrate due to lack of sleep, but you've been great from the start.

I don't post really anymore as I feel I don't have the right as I'm not a chronic pain patient who deserves sympathy but a silly little girl who didn't listen to (good, thoughtful) advice but just wanted to get high. But I read and was v pleased to see your two weeks marked /default_smile.png sorry if this makes little sense - am a bit of a mess! But do want to cheer you on. Wish I was you /default_smile.png

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[Revenger]

I mean - I did listen to the advice and badly wanted to heed it cos I knew it was sense but for some reason ended up not. But I wasn't like "haha who cares, paaaarty!!!"

Was more like a sad slippery slope where I couldn't seem to do anything except watch myself making wrong choices. (Never did the bottom end as a ROA - or any needles - just more of the same and couldn't seem to change)

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[Phrenicz]

Hey Revenger!!

Good to hear from you!

Don't be so down on yourself!!! You're not a silly little girl!! You are just like the rest of us!! Human!!!

We all have ups and downs, you just seem to be having a down at the minute?..

I swear you can make things change!! I've already witnessed your previous willpower and resolve!!

Never stop trying! Never!! That's an order! And stop talking in the past tense.. It's the future that matters, and that's something you are fully in control of!!

Hope you are ok?

Much love

~P~

 

[deperson]

Just reached two weeks. I still haven't touched any stimulants, and I'm continuing to drop these milligrams of benzos at an impressive rate. It even hit me today that I might just be able to go the distance this time.

Instead of feeling like I'm backed into a corner with my hands up taking the punches, I'm in the center putting the benzos on the defensive. This week was definitely my round!

I want to dedicate this week/round to the DBG community: you guys rock, and I'm glad I joined this place!

"Come on, benzos, you ain't so bad! You ain't nothing!"

Three weeks, yo. If anyone is interested in the score card:

Round 1 -- 0.5 to 0.5

Round 2 -- 1.5 to 0.5

Round 3 -- 2.5 to 0.5

I'm up two rounds, but admittedly it's been a shaky start to the fourth: I'm getting a lot negative thoughts in my head and even wondering what difference sobriety will have on my life moving forward. A lot of the issues that have plagued me my entire life are appearing through the dissipating fog. What was once a physical battle has now become psychological. I remember now. This is where I failed on my last attempt.

These next rounds are really where it counts.

@Revenger

People can tell you all they want. All of us users know we're doing harm to ourselves. We're not stupid. You got to want to quit. Nobody can tell you how. Nobody can ease your pain. Nobody can fight your battles.

I'm not going to tell you that you can do it. Only you know that. And if you're uncertain, then it's up to you to find out. I wish you luck no matter what happens. And if you need the drugs, I won't look down on you.

Drugs don't define me, you, or anyone else. If you're a good person, I don't care what the fuck you do. I'll think of you just the same.

 

[Phrenicz]

Anybody hear from Revenger recently?..

Gis a shout if you're out there R : )

~P~

 

[Bloom]

Three weeks, yo. If anyone is interested in the score card:

Round 1 -- 0.5 to 0.5

Round 2 -- 1.5 to 0.5

Round 3 -- 2.5 to 0.5

I'm up two rounds, but admittedly it's been a shaky start to the fourth: I'm getting a lot negative thoughts in my head and even wondering what difference sobriety will have on my life moving forward. A lot of the issues that have plagued me my entire life are appearing through the dissipating fog. What was once a physical battle has now become psychological. I remember now. This is where I failed on my last attempt.

These next rounds are really where it counts.

@Revenger

People can tell you all they want. All of us users know we're doing harm to ourselves. We're not stupid. You got to want to quit. Nobody can tell you how. Nobody can ease your pain. Nobody can fight your battles.

I'm not going to tell you that you can do it. Only you know that. And if you're uncertain, then it's up to you to find out. I wish you luck no matter what happens. And if you need the drugs, I won't look down on you.

Drugs don't define me, you, or anyone else. If you're a good person, I don't care what the fuck you do. I'll think of you just the same.

Thinking of you! How did your fourth week turnout?

Bloom

 

[dug_less]

Motivation can come from many sources. 1: How it affects your family and friends. 2: How it affects your pocket book. 3: Do you really like having a substance or chemical making your decisions for you. 4: Ask for help from a professional. 

 

[Trudy L]

Motivation can come from many sources. 1: How it affects your family and friends. 2: How it affects your pocket book. 3: Do you really like having a substance or chemical making your decisions for you. 4: Ask for help from a professional.

Good wisdom! Although "wanting" to quit isn't enough, it absolutely needs to be there preceeding any legitimate attempts to quit or cut down. in my case, that true desire isn't there but its starting to be (reduction). although I think I can fairly accurately say that item number 1 and item number 3 in my case are not extremely pressing factors, I would like to add a 4th item:time and effort spent acquiring, as well as item number 3

 

[headbanger]

Good luck all you members struggling. I think benzo wd's are he worst. That was the only drug I had to detox from but it's the only drug that rehab can't give you anything to help.

I know all the other wd's are hell too. But alcohol and benzos are the only two drugs you can die from during withdraw.

 

[Roger]

True rehab can't give anything to help ease WD (bc there isn't anything really) but it was the only way for me to be able to quit. Being stuck in a place for 30 days helped me over the hump of the acute WD. The WD was so bad that I couldn't have successfully tapered completely off if there was a chance of getting more. Besides, one really does need medical supervision for a quick taper. Seizure risk is high and a detox center can monitor blood pressure etc.

I had a wicked case of PAWS so I was still suffering after 30 days but I wasn't having auditory hallucinations, etc anymore.

It is way easier on the body to slowly taper at home using the Ashton Method and it tried. I just couldn't do it. I'm sooo glad I don't have a benzo addiction anymore and am very careful with anything in this category!

 

[Def_Starr]

thanks for the motivation ,its a long 8yrs but hopefully i can somehow get off it before i stay on em for another 8yrs + but its the decisions we make that makes the next outcome in life, 

 

[Roger]

I was on them around 8 yrs also. Ended up on a very high dosage. You can do it...just have to have a very strong resolve to push through when you drop a dose. It isn't easy but it can be done. Taking it slowly but steadily is so much easier in your body (and brain!).

 

[deperson]

...and I've slipped. I kept a small bag of racemic amphetamine on my desk and glanced at it daily or at least on the days I was at home. It reminded me of all the nasty hangovers, and so, I left it there to sit until now.

After work today, I reflected on what I've become after quitting these type of things: a man who must take breaks after only a few pages of philosophy, a man who sits around doing virtually nothing of note all day, and worst of all, a man that struggles to find any intrinsic reasons (yes, I've got extrinsic reasons -- family, a friend, etc) to keep playing the game.

And paradoxically, I feel both good and utterly horrible for taking the stuff. I feel that intense desire to read; that futile race in discovering how I'm supposed to live.

Anyway, being clean for so long has tuned me into the nastier aspects of this drug, and I'm certain it will be a one time thing, but it's a shame I'll never feel naturally this much energy and focus.

Still fighting... and perhaps it will be a life long battle. I've tasted too many forbidden fruits after all.

 

[2earls]

...and I've slipped. I kept a small bag of racemic amphetamine on my desk and glanced at it daily or at least on the days I was at home. It reminded me of all the nasty hangovers, and so, I left it there to sit until now.

After work today, I reflected on what I've become after quitting these type of things: a man who must take breaks after only a few pages of philosophy, a man who sits around doing virtually nothing of note all day, and worst of all, a man that struggles to find any intrinsic reasons (yes, I've got extrinsic reasons -- family, a friend, etc) to keep playing the game.

And paradoxically, I feel both good and utterly horrible for taking the stuff. I feel that intense desire to read; that futile race in discovering how I'm supposed to live.

Anyway, being clean for so long has tuned me into the nastier aspects of this drug, and I'm cert

ain it will be a one time thing, but it's a shame I'll never feel naturally this much energy and focus.

Still fighting... and perhaps it will be a life long battle. I've tasted too many forbidden fruits after all.

Oops. It's been years since I touched the stuff, but I still have those feelings of missing it. The endless energy and the ability to tackle all my projects and create new ones. But every time I fell off the wagon, I liked it less than the time before. Keeping it around is too much temptation. I wouldn't trust myself.

 

[Suzie]

deperson, what about Moda-finil/Mod-alert?  It is supposed to give you energy and focus but it is non-amphetamine and supposed to be non addictive. 

 

[Phrenicz]

I see Deperson's account has been closed, and although we didn't always see eye to eye? To say the least?!..

I do hope he manages to find the answers he seeks one day?

And even though he may never see this?

Deperson! I wish you good luck : )

~P~

 

[Bloom]

deperson is dead!

 

[Bloom]

Kidding!!!! He's sitting beside me doing better than life itself! He had one temptation a few weeks ago to stim, and has felt badly for it during, after and since. deperson wanted his thread removed so he wouldn't be reminded about the demons he fought - but his account was closed instead. We are sitting on my back porch listening to a gentle, peaceful rainfall -- and dep wanted me to post "He's dead." So...not my idea!! But I assure you, his big German heart and mind are thriving. dep is down to one benzo per day...and stimulants are an almost forgotten vice.

Viva La dep!!!

Bloom