What's Your Plan Today?

[COLOR= rgb(255,0,0)]I SUFFER FRM NGT MARES/ AN TORRMENT'N THOUGHTS FRM FOG OF WAR AN THINGS I DID THAT HAD 2 BE THE RGT CALL 4MY MEN&MY OWN LIFE. IT HITS HARD AT NGT SO 2 BE HONEST WITH U I DRINK&POP PILLS TILL DAWN GET COFFE AN WATCH THE FOX NEWS READ MY LOCAL PAPER THEN IM NOT AFRAID 2 GO 2 SLEEP I PRAY READ MY BIBLE AN THANK MY LORD CHRIST JESUS 4 A NEW DAWN. IM PRETTY WELL OFF I OWN 2 HOMES THAT I INHERITED WITH NO MORTGAGE.I JUST PUT UP THE 1 I USED AS A RENTAL 4SALE SO $IN MY STOCKS/BONDS I HAD REALLY GOOD LIFE AND HEALTH INSURANCE POLICY WHEN I ENLISTED @17YRS OLD SO IT HELPS BUT ANYHOO LET ME GET SOME MORE OFF MY CHEST I USE 2 B USE 2 ALLWAYS HAVE'N A BATTLE BUDDY BY MY SIDE THEN NADA...SO I STARTED BE'N REALLY SLUTTY /MANHOE&PROMISCUOUS W/WOMEN REALLY MOSTLY DRUNK GIRLS@ THE BAR...AN TAKE EM HOME SO I WOULDENT HAVE NGTMARES OR BE ALONE IF A HAZE OF WAR SET IN THEY'D WAKE ME UP BUT HAVE OF THE TIME IM UP AND IN SHOCK! AND WHEN IM IN WARRIOR SHOCK MODE I WILL KILL/HURT SO I HAD 2 PUT A END 2 THAT SO I WOULD HAVE 2 CALL THEM A CAB AND EXPLAIN ITS ME NOT U DEAR UR A DIME TRUST ME BUT I MIGHT TURN IN 2 SOMETING NOT PRETTY AN QUITE IMBAREISING 4 A GRUNT LIKE ME... SO I PRETTY MUCH FORCE MY SELF NOT 2 SLEEP TILL DAYLIGHT AND IT WORKS CAUSE I DNT HAVE MUCH PAST/POST TRAMA SYMPTOMS. [/COLOR]

[COLOR= rgb(255,0,0)]SBB /default_mellow.gif[/COLOR]
I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you find a way through it to brighter times. I wish you the best.

 
I recently woke up to a fire at a friend's house..we had had a bonfire and the girl who lived at the house was all worried that an ember would blow onto the roof and start a fire...so three am, the house is on fire and we all got out except for a turtle, who survived. Anyway, turns out that the woodstove did it. So maybe the girl is like, psychic in a fucked up off kilter sort of way? I'm glad no one was hurt in your garage fire tho...fires are beastly.

 
Oh, abadz!
What a weired coincidence, this has happend after the girl had a unpleasant feeling about the bonfire. Strange really. I do believe in female intuition and something like suggestions from angels watching over us, though. Your story actually reassures my belief in such things.

So happy nobody was injured!!!

Hope they had an insurance for the house to help with the material loss.

Take care.

 

 
I SUFFER FRM NGT MARES/ AN TORRMENT'N THOUGHTS FRM FOG OF WAR AN THINGS I DID THAT HAD 2 BE THE RGT CALL 4MY MEN&MY OWN LIFE. IT HITS HARD AT NGT SO 2 BE HONEST WITH U I DRINK&POP PILLS TILL DAWN GET COFFE AN WATCH THE FOX NEWS READ MY LOCAL PAPER THEN IM NOT AFRAID 2 GO 2 SLEEP I PRAY READ MY BIBLE AN THANK MY LORD CHRIST JESUS 4 A NEW DAWN. IM PRETTY WELL OFF I OWN 2 HOMES THAT I INHERITED WITH NO MORTGAGE.I JUST PUT UP THE 1 I USED AS A RENTAL 4SALE SO $IN MY STOCKS/BONDS I HAD REALLY GOOD LIFE AND HEALTH INSURANCE POLICY WHEN I ENLISTED @17YRS OLD SO IT HELPS BUT ANYHOO  LET ME GET SOME MORE OFF MY CHEST I USE 2 B USE 2 ALLWAYS HAVE'N A BATTLE BUDDY BY MY SIDE THEN NADA...SO I STARTED BE'N REALLY SLUTTY /MANHOE&PROMISCUOUS W/WOMEN REALLY MOSTLY DRUNK GIRLS@ THE BAR...AN TAKE EM HOME SO I WOULDENT HAVE NGTMARES OR BE ALONE IF A HAZE OF WAR SET IN THEY'D WAKE ME UP BUT HAVE OF THE TIME IM UP AND IN SHOCK! AND WHEN IM IN WARRIOR SHOCK MODE I WILL KILL/HURT SO I HAD 2 PUT A END 2 THAT SO I WOULD HAVE 2 CALL THEM A CAB AND EXPLAIN ITS ME NOT U DEAR UR A DIME TRUST ME BUT I MIGHT TURN IN 2 SOMETING NOT PRETTY AN QUITE IMBAREISING 4 A GRUNT LIKE ME... SO I PRETTY MUCH FORCE MY SELF NOT 2 SLEEP TILL DAYLIGHT AND IT WORKS CAUSE I DNT HAVE MUCH PAST/POST TRAMA SYMPTOMS. 

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Oh dear! My Turquoise Teaser a manslut? You are one of a kind and authentic as they come. I think I'm pretty brave, but more like skydiving brave. Admitting you're afraid of the dark takes a different kind of courage and I'm sure not telling how slutty I was....or wasn't....

I think you will find peace soon, if you seek it.

2E

 
Today, I am still waiting for a moving in date on my new house!!! Getting a bit annoyed now, literally been 2 months since I signed the contract...

The 1st most annoying thing is I'm living out of boxes!

The 2nd most annoying thing is I can 't place any orders, as I don't know what address I will be living at when it arrives!

Grrrrrr! Much frustration!!

Other than that. The UK is unusually warm for this time of year?? Which is nice :-)

 
My plan for the day......homework. ENOUGH WITH ORGANIC CHEMISTRY ALREADY! Oh yeah....and trying not to abuse my soma.

 
My plan for today is to start packing for a trip to visit a very old friend and then on to see some California Redwoods. I love vacatios!

 
@THE HIGH "DESSERT" U KNOW I WAS THINK'N IF UR THE DESERT...CAN I B UR "SEA" /default_tongue.png

 SING IT W/ME.......IF WE TOOK A HOLIDAY...

TOOK SOME TIME 2 CELEBRATE

JUST 1 DAY OUT OF LIFE

...IT WOULD B..BE SO NICE!

@SBB YOUR TITANIC TERQUISE TEASER /default_wub.png #BENZOKISSES AND A EXTRA 1 4 THAT J'S/SHOE FETISH FEVER UR MAN HAS HES GOT GOOD STYLE IN MY BOOK!!!

 
@THE HIGH "DESSERT" U KNOW I WAS THINK'N IF UR THE DESERT...CAN I B UR "SEA" /default_tongue.png

 SING IT W/ME.......IF WE TOOK A HOLIDAY...

TOOK SOME TIME 2 CELEBRATE

JUST 1 DAY OUT OF LIFE

...IT WOULD B..BE SO NICE!

@SBB YOUR TITANIC TERQUISE TEASER /default_wub.png #BENZOKISSES AND A EXTRA 1 4 THAT J'S/SHOE FETISH FEVER UR MAN HAS HES GOT GOOD STYLE IN MY BOOK!!!

It's time for the good times

Forget about the bad times

We need a celebration

In ev-ver-y nation!

Yeah, I like Jordans too but 50 pairs? Come on...he's only got 2 feet!

 
Just got back from the fair and the plan for tomorrow is to do it again. Yummmmm funnel cake.

 
Today will consist of, eating, sitting down, occasional napping, cooking, cleaning and watching shit TV.....

Oh and trying not to smoke or delve into my med stash :-)

 
I can't find the keys to my blue bmw, damit. 

Luckily i still have the white bmw  so at least I can get to work.

unknown1212

 
I'm going highlight the lines above this sentence with the original message I had typed that is full of negativity and self-deprecation after realizing it's only the benzo withdrawal talking and hit the backspace key. 

Furthermore, I will refuse to buckle and definitely won't touch that sp33cl and start chewing benzos. It's kind of terrifying how close I came to a major blunder, but I'm still in the game.

Christ... I've only slept maybe two or three hours of horrifying sleep in the past two days now and I don't see myself sleeping this morning either. Maybe I'll be able to after work today and hopefully without vivid nightmares and paralysis. I feel like I'm going to crack. For this reason, I've been wondering if MMJ might be worth looking into. Haven't done any in many, many years, and even then, I only used it rarely in social settings and not always to good effect. I know next to nothing about the plant or the strains that exist, but I question whether there exists a non-recreational strain for my situation. Definitely do not want idle distraction or psychedelia. I can easily waste away a day as it is! Oh, and I'm fearful the plant will amplify my rebound anxiety despite the anxiolytic claims of certain strains.

 
I'm going highlight the lines above this sentence with the original message I had typed that is full of negativity and self-deprecation after realizing it's only the benzo withdrawal talking and hit the backspace key. 

Furthermore, I will refuse to buckle and definitely won't touch that sp33cl and start chewing benzos. It's kind of terrifying how close I came to a major blunder, but I'm still in the game.

Christ... I've only slept maybe two or three hours of horrifying sleep in the past two days now and I don't see myself sleeping this morning either. Maybe I'll be able to after work today and hopefully without vivid nightmares and paralysis. I feel like I'm going to crack. For this reason, I've been wondering if MMJ might be worth looking into. Haven't done any in many, many years, and even then, I only used it rarely in social settings and not always to good effect. I know next to nothing about the plant or the strains that exist, but I question whether there exists a non-recreational strain for my situation. Definitely do not want idle distraction or psychedelia. I can easily waste away a day as it is! Oh, and I'm fearful the plant will amplify my rebound anxiety despite the anxiolytic claims of certain strains.
If you are feeling that rough, I think it would be well worth trying it. Just make sure it's a weaker strain. Too strong and it could potentially cause more paranoia. I just tried a bit after many years and because it was weak, it was just a nice mellow feeling and I slept like a log!

 
I dont see it hurting! Then again I am pro pot all day all the time. Just wish it was legal for me. I hate submitting to drug tests for work!

Benzo wds SUCK! We are all here to support you anytime! Good luck and keep us posted.

 
Myplan today is homework, homework, homework and work. Food, sex and more homework.

 
If you are feeling that rough, I think it would be well worth trying it. Just make sure it's a weaker strain. Too strong and it could potentially cause more paranoia. I just tried a bit after many years and because it was weak, it was just a nice mellow feeling and I slept like a log!

I dont see it hurting! Then again I am pro pot all day all the time. Just wish it was legal for me. I hate submitting to drug tests for work!

Benzo wds SUCK! We are all here to support you anytime! Good luck and keep us posted.
I'll admit I haven't done too much research, but I don't see any of the sources themselves using words like weak or non-potent for probably obvious business reasons. And I'd think like classic 5-ht2a psychedelics, the very same compound can be mellow and calming to some and a horrifying hell to others. Sometimes both to the same individual from personal experience, with the latter being most applicable to me. I don't live in a legal state either, so I run the risk as well since the stuff stays in your system for ages, but I'm essentially at the stage where I'd have to do something or act quite strange (or like a normal person, in my case) for me to be candidate for such a test. I'm the workplace weirdo and have been tested so many times early in career that they just assume I'm a little (or large) off in the social department, haha.

 
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