I'm going highlight the lines above this sentence with the original message I had typed that is full of negativity and self-deprecation after realizing it's only the benzo withdrawal talking and hit the backspace key.
Furthermore, I will refuse to buckle and definitely won't touch that sp33cl and start chewing benzos. It's kind of terrifying how close I came to a major blunder, but I'm still in the game.
Christ... I've only slept maybe two or three hours of horrifying sleep in the past two days now and I don't see myself sleeping this morning either. Maybe I'll be able to after work today and hopefully without vivid nightmares and paralysis. I feel like I'm going to crack. For this reason, I've been wondering if MMJ might be worth looking into. Haven't done any in many, many years, and even then, I only used it rarely in social settings and not always to good effect. I know next to nothing about the plant or the strains that exist, but I question whether there exists a non-recreational strain for my situation. Definitely do not want idle distraction or psychedelia. I can easily waste away a day as it is! Oh, and I'm fearful the plant will amplify my rebound anxiety despite the anxiolytic claims of certain strains.